Dec 31, 2004

The disaster

I'm finally back after taking a couple of weeks' break from blogging and other similar essential activities of dailiy living. I'd love to bray about how these past fortnight has been so exciting, so promising etc. But it is not the time to celebrate, is it?

The Tsunami which hit the whole of SE asia has also affected the place that I live. Fortunately enough, I and my family are unaffected by its devastation. But every form of media is airing sad pictures and sorry stories of the victims.

As a medical professional, I've offered my services. I'm hoping that I'll get called to help someone out.

Dec 16, 2004

Final trip

Sorry for this. I've tons of ideas to write upon. But no time.
I've come back from the first metro city. I didn't have much luck with
the prices of the stuff there. Now, on the eve of my final journey to
my last destination (which could also be described as the first
journey to my final destination; I'll help you figure out how later),
I'm full of feelings that I've never encountered.

I hope you put everything back in place after I come back. That is
in about a week. Till then, I hope you guys would wish me luck with my

Dec 11, 2004

Stamp of authority

When I had gone to attend Chuck's engagement, my friend A. had handed me a piece of paper which his dad would later collect from me in my home town. In the two weeks since then, I had forgotten all about it.

Before we go further, let me introduce A.'s father - I'll refer to him as Dr. S. He is a very talkative, hot-looking older man who is very confident. He is sarcastic and sometimes even mildly arrogant. But that works fine for me. I love older men who establish a stamp of authority on everyone else.

Yesterday night, when I lay slumped on the couch watching 'Will & Grace', the phone rang. As is the routine in my house (I hate answering phones. My parents take the phone up when it rings.) my Dad answered it and announced that it was for me. I took the phone up and was surprised to hear this.

"Kris, this is Dr. S. I guess A. gave you that paper. I need to have it. When do you usually get up in the morning? I guess you will be really late!"

"Well, umm... I have to go to the hospital in the morning. So I get up by 7 AM at least."

"Will you get the paper and wait for me at the main road at 7.45 AM? I pass your location between 7.45 and 7.50 AM everyday. I might have forgotten the exact way to your place and I don't have time to come down your lane and search. Can you make it?

"Of course. Yes. So tomorrow 7.45 AM. Good night."

"Yeah, good night."

Today morning I was late in getting up. I rushed through my daily routines and was about to tuck my shirt up in my pants when I heard someone honking. It didn't take too long to figure out that it was none other than Dr. S. It was only 7.44 AM on my watch. I went down with that paper.

As I got out through the front door I could see Dr. S, not even bothering to get out of the car, waiting for me with a smirk on his face.

"I knew it. Can't rely on someone who is A.'s friend."

"But it's not even 7.45 AM. I was about to start." and then I hand over the paper.

"Nevermind. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay. Been busy at the hospital."

"Still wasting your parents' hard earned-money I guess." He looked at his watch and added "I need to go to the hospital. Good bye."

"Bye." I watch him drive away.

This is the usual way he treats me. And I loooooooove it. How I wish he had asked me to serve him inside the car right in front of my place!

Dec 10, 2004

Shopping with my sister

The last two days, I spent a lot of time shopping with my sister. Even though we didn't end up buying a lot of stuff, we had plenty of time to talk. Yet, I didn't even feel like I should tell her about my sexual orientation. I know that she knows that I'm at least a bi. But I want to tell her that I'm totally gay and that I'm comfortable with that.

While shopping for clothes in a big shop in town, I realized how obsessed I'm with older men.

I saw an old Physics Professor of mine from college. He is a cute 60s-around guy with a great moustache. In my two years in pre-grad college, he was around for only 6 months and took only a couple of lectures for my class. During one of those lectures, he ordered me out of class for laughing at a joke by one of my friends.

Yet, I remembered his full name. Despite the fact that I didn't get to see him front-on, I recognized him instantly. I wanted to talk with him. But I couldn't. I felt bad about missing out on opportunities.

About five minutes later, I ran into an old classmate of mine from college. He is young and okay looking. He was a good friend of mine for the two years we were in pre-grad college.

Yet, I don't even recollect his first name. I spent a few uncomfortable moments talking with him. All I got to know was that he worked in a decent institution now. Then there was this uneasy 'I'm a little busy. Bye for now.'

I must be a slut; one that specializes in older men.

Dec 8, 2004

Sleep and more sleep

I have been posting too much about my sleep problems. These days, I can't even get up in time to reach hospital in time for morning classes. I'm not finding time to even read newspapers. Forget reading books, guitaring etc. I'm a lame arse!

Dec 7, 2004

More cricket

Our local cable operator has disappointed us sports fans yet again. Since the turn of this month, ESPN-Star Sports has been taken out from the bouquet. The newspaper reports allege the company's debts to the sports channels as the cause. Of course, the operator has its version of the story.

Whatever be, we are deprived of quality sports action. And when I say quality sports action, I mean something like an Australia Vs. New Zealand ODI series Down Under. The first match was reviewed as ODI cricket at its best. The second one didn't fall short of expectations either. And I can't see even a bit of it! Shame, pity shame.

At the same time, I'm getting to play more cricket in our college ground in the evenings. The sessions, whose attendances are decreasing by the day, are physically demanding. And I suddenly seem to have lost my batting touch.

I always have this problem when I re-start playing cricket. The first day is always better than the next couple of weeks after which things start to improve again.

Dec 6, 2004

Chuck's day out

I'm not allowed to write anything about the topic that I'm going to write on. Therefore, please bear with me if this post is less than entertaining.

Chuck visited his fiance over the weekend. This is just about a week after his engagement. Everyone including his family was a bit surprised. I think I might have something to do with this sudden rush of blood.

What happened there was a near-perfect whole-day date. Why I would label it as near-perfect is because I thought that Chuck had handled the situation (and much more) very well. He did what he was supposed to and he went over the boundaries, but only as much as things should be to still remain within allowable extents.

I know that the previous sentence is pretty f**ked up but I couldn't come up with something better.

He told me everything in detail today. I was glad that I'm the only person to whom he is planning to tell the details.

Dec 5, 2004

Bored at the beach

Today, I had to spend the whole day with my sister, her husband and
my cousins. Even though it was better that what I had hoped, I felt
bored without the company of my friends from college. We went to the
beach and then to my cousin's place and had dinner. The last time I
was in the beach, Ray was with me and we were 'older-adam-teasing' our
way to glory.

Why I don't like such meetings is that in conversations, a question
such as 'Why don't you get married?' or 'Do you/Have you had any
girlfriends?' is pushed across to me. I'm left to wondering what sort
of answer I should give for this.

Well, apart from that I spent a lot of time practicing and playing
guitar/bass. I listened to a few of my recordings and I felt that I
should be doing much more than just learning new songs - I should be
writing songs!

Dec 4, 2004

Kareena Kapoor's ass

Today, on the day when my sister came back home after a few months, I went for a not-so-good Hindi move (Hulchul) with Ray. There are a couple of strong messages for me here.

One is the fact (which is becoming very obvious to me as the days pass by) that I enjoy myself thoroughly with only those who understand my gay identity. The second fact, which is more disconcerting is the fact that I'm becoming more detached with my sister. Even to think about not being close to my sister was beyond imagination about 2 years back. Time does fly, doesn't it?

At the movie, I was again surprised by Ray's experiences cruising at the movies yesterday. This time he got much further with a man he has been meeting at the movies (while crusing of course).

On this, I must confess that Ray's treasure-trove of stories and experiences in this field seem limitless. On almost all of the days we meet, he has something new to tell me in this field. For example, apart from the details of his exploits on the previous day, he told me that the guy who sat at the ticket counter was interested in cruising sex! As a matter of fact, he has had 2 experience with this guy in the past five years.

The movie itself was not very good. But the most striking aspect of the movie was the amount of fat that Kareena Kapoor carries around in her body. I cannot recollect any other heroine other than Kajol who was fatter than Kareena. Even though I'm gay, I enjoy the looks of women who are trim and fit. I hate women with excess body fat. Kareena was so fat that I had to look away from the screen on more than one occasion.

There was even a scene when the whole big screen was filled with Kareena's ass. That was a strange shot where the camera was positioned between the legs of Kareena as she started to walk away from the camera.

I can tell you that Ray, who is bi, enjoyed this a lot. He likes women on the plumpier side. And amongst plump women, he prefers older ones!

Dec 3, 2004

How to kill yourself like a man

You know, you gotta love Maddox and his awesome page - The Best Page in the Universe - for sure. Check out his latest post about 'How to kill yourself like a man' here.

Out of the various methods, I think eating a tubfull of beans deserves to be the coolest way to do it!

'Shark Tale'

Go here and have (a) a nice laugh if you are straight (b) a nice laugh followed by an hour of refelcting on the society's prejudice towards queers!

B - V Kisses

Unlike how I usually post, I'm posting the contents of a few of my e-mails today. I'll comment on relevant items along the way.

  • Butterfly Kiss - With your faces less than a breath away, open and close your eyelids against your partners. If done correctly, the fluttering sensation will match the one in your heart.
  • Cheek Kiss - A friendly, "I really like you" kiss. Often the preferred kissing method of a first date. With your hands on your partner's shoulders, gently brush your lips across her cheek.
  • Earlobe Kiss - Gently sip and suck the earlobe. Avoid louder sucking noises as ears are sensitized noise detectors.
  • Eskimo Kiss - With your faces less than a breath apart, gently rub your noses together.
    This one's worth trying!

  • Eye Kiss - Hold your partner's head with both hands and slowly move their head in the direction you wish your kiss to go... then slowly kiss up towards your partner's eyes and give them a tender kiss on top of their closed eyes.
  • Eyelid Kiss - While your partner is resting/sleeping with eyes closed, very very gently kiss the spot right below their browbone. A very intimate kiss.
  • Finger Kiss - While laying together gently suck on their fingers. This can be very seductive and pleasurable.
    Sucking on any appendage which is not a clit is worth trying!

  • Foot Kiss - An erotic and romantic gesture. It may tickle, but relax and enjoy it! To give a toe kiss by gently suck the toes and then lightly kissing the foot. It helps to gently massage the base of the foot while performing the kiss.
    Refer to above.

  • Forehead Kiss - The "motherly" kiss or "just friends" kiss. The forehead kiss can be a comforting kiss to anyone. Simply brush your lips lightly across the crown of their head.
  • Freeze Kiss (or Melt Kiss) - Experiment with this fun kiss. Put a small piece of ice in your mouth, then open mouth and kiss your partner, passing them the ice with your tongue. It's an erotic and sensual french kiss with a twist of cold.
    I've some sort of weakness with kissing involving transfer of liquids.

  • French Kiss - The kiss involving the tongue. Some call this the "Soul Kiss" because the life and soul are thought to pass through the mouth's breath in the exchange across tongues. Surprisingly, the French call this "The English Kiss".
  • Fruity Kiss - Take a small piece of fruit and place between your lips (juicy fruits such as grapes, strawberries, small pieces of pineapple or mango are ideal). Kiss your partner and nibble one half of the piece of fruit while they nibble the other until it breaks in half, allowing the juice to run into your mouths.
    Bet you have seen a lot of this in straight sex scenes. I have never imagined it in a gay perspective. I presume it will definitely be better.

  • Hand Kiss - Gently raise her hand to your lips. Lightly brush your lips across the top of her hand. Historically this kiss was performed with a bow, which showed deference to a lady.
  • Hickey Kiss - The object is not to draw blood, but to gently leave a mark that will prove your interlude was not a dream. This is often included in erotic foreplay.

  • Hostage Kiss - Cover your lips with tape and get your love's attention. When they come near, make noises like you're trying to tell them something and motion as if you can't get the tape off. Once they remove the tape from you to hear what you're trying to say tell them: "I've been saving my lips all day just for you!" Then kiss your love passionately!
    You've gotta be kidding!

  • Hot and Cold Kiss - Lick your partner's lips so that they're warm, and then gently blow on them. The sudden cold blast makes for a sensual explosion, and they will often try it on you next, as well as get very passionate.
    Strange. But worth a try.

  • Mistletoe Kiss - Surprise your lover by capturing them with a gentle holiday kiss under the mistletoe. This is also a good method for shyer individuals to steal a kiss from a potential lover.
  • Letter Kiss - Send your lover a kiss in a love letter by writing the letter x several times in a row at the bottom of a letter such as XXXXX.
  • Lick Kiss - Just before kissing, gently run your tongue along you partners lip whether it be the top or bottom one depending on the position of your lips. Very sensual.

  • Lip Sucking Kiss - When kissing gently suck on their lower lip. This can be very exciting.
  • Neck Nibble Kiss - Gently nibble up and down your partners neck. End with a gentle kiss on the lips.
    Growl! Mr. Lion did this to me and it felt wonderful!

  • Nip Kiss - This kiss can create a very erotic sensation. While kissing your partner, ever so gently nibble on their lips. You must be very careful not to bite to hard or hurt your partner. When done correctly, this kiss ignites wonderful sensations.
    Worth a trial!

  • Reverse Lips Kiss - It involves standing above your lover and kissing them from over their head. This way, each kisser can take the hyper-sensitive bottom lip of thier lover in their mouths, and GENTLY draw blood to the surface of the lip by nibbling and sucking. A very sensuous, connecting kiss.
    One of the things that I would love to do!

  • Searching The Cavern - Use the lips and tongue to gently tickle and kiss your lover's navel. Vary speeds and stroke to change sensation. Invigorating and intoxicating.
  • Shoulder Kiss - Simply come from behind, embrace her, and kiss the top of her shoulder. This is a sensual, loving kiss.
  • Sip Kiss - Take a small sip of your favorite drink. Leaving a little bit of it on your lips, kiss your partner. It is a unique way to create a sensual feeling and your partner will enjoy it.
    I'd love to exchange wine like this!

  • Talking Kiss - Whisper sweet nothings into your partner's mouth. If caught in the act, simply say as Chico Marx, "I wasn't kissing her. I was whispering into her mouth."
  • Teaser Kiss - Starting on the forehead, a sweet short kiss on lips, then move up the arms up to her hand, kiss her hand, then come back up her arm, to her face and then lightly kiss her lips till she wants a passionate kiss.
  • The Buzzing Kiss - Gently place your lips against your lover's neck , behind their ear. Now, send a shudder through their skin by gently growling and humming, vibrating your lips and cheeks as you do so. Move up and down the neck, over the bones of the face and lips. Stimulating and erotic when done correctly.
  • The Whipped Cream Kiss - Dip your finger into some cool whip or whipped cream of your choice. Lick it off slowly, then embrace your partner and kiss them deeply letting their tongue slip over yours for a wonderfully sweet kiss. It's very seductive and passionate.
  • Tiger Kiss - Quietly sneak up behind your partner making sure they do not know what you are going to do. Out of the blue, grab them and gently bite their neck. Make sure to get a few good growls in too. This will surely surprise them.
    Personally, this has got to be the most exciting! Woof, woof!

  • Trickle Kiss - Take a sip of a favourite drink and trickle it slowly into partner's mouth while kissing.
  • Tongue Sucking - A variation of the French kiss. During an open-mouth kiss gently suck on your partner's tongue (not too hard because it may hurt). Very sexy :-)
  • Quickie Kiss - When you're in a rush. Often the nose gets it rather than the lips.
  • Vacuum Kiss - While kissing open-mouthed, slightly suck in as if you were sucking the air from your partners mouth. This is a playful kiss.
  • Wake Up Kiss - Before your partner awakes lean over and kiss their cheek and move over giving soft kisses until you reach their lips. Definitely a more than pleasant way to wake up!
  • Virtual Kiss - For Internet lovers. Send an e-card or a kiss via email with this symbol: :-*

Cool words

Check out a few new words that I came across online!

  1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.
  2. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
  3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of confection (lolly) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.
  4. ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
  5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
  6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.
  7. PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.
  8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
  9. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
  10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

Out of these, a few words are extremely relevant in my life. I have momentary bouts of phonesia and I'm always frustrated by frust. I hate to admit but I really believe in disconfecting.

3 topics

The last two days, I'm doing less and sleeping like a pig. I can assure you that it has nothing to do with the tiredness levels. There is something inherently wrong in my system. And because of that, I had to miss two consecutive morning classes at the hospital.

I've been practicing guitars and scales whenever I get time. I've been trying modes in creating riffs actually to great effect. This mode thing is really cool as I made an interesting bass line yesterday just by playign three different modes of the same scale!

Chuck is going to spend a whole day this Sundary with his fiance. I would have to cover for him on that Saturday. I think that Chuck is really acting bold enough to try and bond with his fiance.

Dec 2, 2004

At last...

I've great news! Xander was finally able to squeeze time out from work to check out guitars. And those are definitely cheaper and with more features. Therefore, I've decided to buy my guitar from my future destination.

But before that, I would have to travel to another metropolitan. I would actually be accompanying my sister who is going to come home tomorrow.

I am still unsure if I should come out totally to my sister. But I have the gut feeling that if it is not now, it might be too late as I'll probably be not seeing her again before I start residency. And if I start residency, I won't be seeing daylight for a year or so!

Dec 1, 2004

Playing cricket

I played cricket after 5 months. It was a pleasant experience
despite the fact that I was unable to bat or bowl to my potential. But
I fielded well.

Nov 30, 2004

Responses from metros

I had entrusted three persons to check out the prices of guitars in three metros across India. They were my bandmate Xander, my best friend J and my sister and brother in law.

After 4 days, these are the responses that I got.

  • Xander - 'Sorry dude, didn't really get the time. Been very busy. See, I have to prepare sets for big shows. I spend whole of my working day doing that. In the evening, I go to attend the big shows.'
  • J - 'I don't have (adding 'for my dear friend' would make it sound even worse. I'm working 18 hours per day for 7 days a week. I'll try to do it by next Saturday.'
  • My sister and brother in law - They called me from a guitar shop near their residence. But didn't have the kind of info that I'd have liked. I sent them an e-mail and a couple of SMSes detailing what I wanted. Today, both of them called and said - 'We are a little busy right now. We'll try to do it soon.'

    I don't know how to react. Was I too selfish and unrealistic to expect them to do this for me? Or is it the usual thing : 'I help people out - they don't find time to do returns' thing?

  • Nov 29, 2004

    Wonderful tour

    The engagement went fine. I felt good in the role of a responsible friend and a photographer. It was a whole lot different from the last time that I had been in such a role. I didn't even feel uncomfortable just once through the whole two day period.

    That must be due to the fact that the company was a whole lot different. Besides Chuck and Ray, the other friends were a jolly good bunch. We enjoyed ourselves thoroughly playing 'Dumb Charades' while travelling in the train.

    Since this was the first occasion that I and Ray were travelling together after we came out to each other, we laid a few ground-rules about exchanging thoughts and expressing feelings about other men. Basically, we decided to refrain from commenting about older men, exchanging glances and pointing out hot men during the trip.

    It worked well. We didn't break the rules more than twice. Both the times, when we had total privacy.

    Apart from that there were two siginficant things that I felt during the trip.

    • I felt that Ray was the kind of guy who I would love to have as a partner in a long term relationship. There are absolutely no problems between the two us in sharing a room, travelling together etc.

    • I realized that I was to scared to even disappoint Chuck. Even in the slightest of ways.

    Nov 27, 2004

    Chuck's engagement

    Today evening, I'll be starting from my town to attend Chuck's
    engagement. I'm very happy because Ray will be there along with me
    through the trip. Chuck and his family are coming as well.

    The search for my guitar is still not getting anywhere. That is a
    little disappointing.

    Nov 25, 2004

    Contemplating this

    p>Today I read a lot of reviews about the only Ibanez guitar for sale
    in Kerala. They were very positive. Then I went to our local music
    shop and tried on the same guitar. It sounded good. Maybe, I should
    buy this!


    Nov 24, 2004

    :( --> :)

    Too many expectations. Too little money. A multitude of options limited to a SINGLE guitar!

    That sums up my experience at the Queen yesterday. Besides, I was irritated to the core by S. with whom I had gone.

    We checked out three guitar shops. Only one had at branded guitars and that too, a single guitar each from Ibanez and Fender. Fender's Showmaster sucked. Ibanez's starting range guitar GRX-40 was okay. But just okay. It is relatively expensive for the quality. And it is made in China and not Japan (which is the benchmark).

    My friend S. managed to irritate me a lot. Here's why

    • S. thought it would be 'fun' doing this - board a train at 11 pm with sleeper clas tickets (about 2 times that of a regular ticket) to reach the Queen at 3.30 AM. Hire an autorickshaw for 3 times the usual cost to reach the middle of the town. Enquire at four different hotels before ending up paying Rs. 350 for a dingy double room and sleep in there for 5 hours.

    • The alternative was - To sleep peacefully at home till 5 AM. Board a nice, fast train at 6 AM and reach the middle of the town by 9 AM. No troubles with sleep, autos, rooms. And we save 1 hour. Oh... and we save about Rs. 500 each!

    • He chews Sweet Pan and continuously spits on the roads while walking.

    • He watches WWE like he is a 4 year old kid.

    • He tries to appear knowledgeable in some topics he is or was never good at.

    The great thing that happened was that I was able to meet and interact with members from the progressive rock band 'Evergreen'. I even got to see them practice.. in their own practice room! Oh, it was lovely! The drummer was simply awesome! So was the guitarist and the bassist!

    Nov 22, 2004

    Going to 'The Queen' with hopes

    Today, I'm setting out on what promises to be another giant step in my life - I'm going to 'The Queen' for buying the musical gear. I hope this changes my life forever!

    Nov 21, 2004

    Indiana Jones' Temple disappoints

    Ever since I watched Indiana Jones and the Last Crusaders, I have longed to watch the other two movies. Last week's and Lost Ark was not upto the mark. This week's Temple of Doom is even worse. I thought that the storyline was weak and the action scenes shown were too unrealistic.

    One good thing though; the movie gave me a good excuse to avoid being dragged into a hopelessly predictable and boring conversation between my parents and my cousin who had gone to visit my sister a couple of days back.

    Coming out - on video

    Today, a group of guys from college paid a friend of ours on the day before his wedding. This is the guy for whom we had bought the condom+lube+books set. As we were having snacks and tea, the conversation meandered on to my sexual orientation. My friend had promised to get me a sexy older man for his bachelor's party.

    I asked him if the plan still was on. He said yes. But of course he didn't mean it. He went on to explain to the rest of my friend (to whom I was already out) that he didn't believe me first when I told him that I was gay and I liked older men. It was only when he saw my porn collection that he could believe it.

    Then he said "I would find it even hard to imagaine. What would you be; ACTIVE or passive? I replied with utmost ease "Passive, of course!". His jaw virtually hit the table. Same for the rest of the gange except Ray and Chuck.

    All this happened without us realizing that a relative of his was taking video of us talking.

    A couple of minutes back, he came back and asked my friend if he wanted to keep the footage for the wedding CD. And then he replayed on the cam. We could clearly hear our voices. He said yes!

    I feel proud about this achievement. Am I not the best?

    'Naach' is good!

    Today was a great day. A good day at the hospital except for a
    comment or two from Chuck which sunk my spirits. He was asking me if I
    could get our friend a gift on his wedding. He said that I've been an
    unreliable person in the last few weeks and therefore, needed double
    confirmation that I would do the purchase. He repeated it.

    I was surprised at this apparent lack of trust-worthiness that my
    friend found in me. Since it came from Chuck I felt bad. In fact I
    told him immediately that just like two days back when he had brought
    a smile back to my face, he'd put me down. I felt even worse when he
    said that that is how he felt every morning when I wouldn't wake up to
    join him for jogging.

    A couple of hours later, I was walking to the parking lot to my
    scooter thinking what had suddenly gone wrong in my life. I was low in
    self-esteem and that is exactly why I felt bad when someone questioned
    my integrity.

    When I reached there, I saw Chuck standing there talking to someone
    on the mobile phone. He waved at me as soon as he saw me. I walked up
    to him undecided on what to say. It was easy to make out that it was
    his fiance at the other end. In between, he asked me if I would join
    him for lunch. I said yes.

    I gave him a lift on my scooter and it was not until that we had
    found a table that he hung up on the phone. Immediately he apologized
    me for what had happened in the morning. I apologized for behaving the
    way I was during the last few weeks. He offered me a lunch to make it
    up at a restaruant of my choice. I said that was unnecessary.

    When we finished lunch I felt at ease with my life.

    Then we went for shopping for the gift. It took a lot of time to
    finally get what we wanted; a Kama Sutra honeymoon pack. It was a
    wonderful time even though we couldn't find one. Whenever we walked up
    to a store to ask for condoms, the shopkeepers would seem stunned and
    always tried to be evasive. Instead, we went to a big medical store in
    the city, got a sample of all the varities of condoms available and a
    lubricant jelly. We got it packed in a big Kama Sutra condom box. Then
    we went shopping in a book store. We bought a couple of cheap versions
    of the book 'Kama Sutra' and another book on the Arabic Technique of
    Sex called 'The Perfumed Garden'.

    Since Chuck was on duty, I left him at the hospital and went to
    Ray's room. We spent some time going through the sex manuals and found
    a lot of interesting stuff regarding oral sex and it's practice in
    ancient India. According to the books, oral sex was practiced
    extensively by Hindus and sodomy was introduced by the Muslims.

    Then, I went to a colleague room in the hostel to try my hand at
    troubleshooting a computer which was acting up. I tried my level best
    to re-install Windows 98. But a hardware problem kept me at bay.

    After that, Ray wanted me to take a look at the common 'puter at
    the hostel. It was getting stuck after it got booted. It didn't take
    me much time to note that it was due to some virus/worm as the
    computer was laden with spyware and junk downloads and didn't have a
    firewall or an updated antivirus software.

    I removed most of the crap and got the system back to booting
    properly. But couldn't finish the job as the network adapter was not
    working which made it impossible for me to access the internet so as
    to get an updated version of antivirus software.

    After that, I and Ray decided to go out to have dinner. We went to
    our favorite vegetarian restaurant. Had a delicious meal. Then hung
    out at public park watching out for silverfoxes. Then we went for a
    movie. We had been indecisive about the movie after our last
    experience. We finally decided on a hindi flick called 'Naach'.

    Thankfully, our decision was spot on! The movie was excellent. It
    is much different from the average Bollywood sizzler and is probably
    the best Hindi movie I have watched this year.

    Nov 19, 2004

    From being down to up

    I'm finding myself bluesy for the last two days. I don't have any particular reason for being so. Generally, I'm not satisfying myself with what I'm getting out of my life.

    I don't usually feel down. And it is easy for someone to cheer me up. But that was not the case for the last two days. Yesterday, it took a good effort on Ray's side to bring me back to normalcy.

    Today, I was feeling down in the afternoon. I took a nap and woke up realizing that I felt disgusting. I had a bad headache as well. Chuck tried to cheer me up. At first, it didn't work.

    I had to meet him again later on in the evening. This was after I had finalized my plan to make my guitar purchase next week. I told Chuck that I'm getting a new pair for jeans.

    He asked me 'Who's giving you this? And in return for?' with a funny look in his eyes. I laughed and felt good instantaneously. When I asked him what he had meant, he said that he thought I had got the jeans as a reward for my services to an older man. He guessed that I would rip the jeans of a hot older man and give him a nice blow job. In the end, the older man would give me the jeans as a reward for the fine job while patting my back saying 'Well done my boy/son!'

    Then I had to meet May to give her a book. She said that I'm looking more gay! Well, because of me wearing tight pants which clung on to my thighs revealing my thin waistline.

    Now I feel really happy!

    Nov 18, 2004

    Movies in the last few days

    I've noticed that I've not been commenting about the movies that I watch. I think that it is bad. It is one area where I can blabber about a lot.

    I saw three and a half movie in the last 4 days.

    The first one was 'Indiana Jones : Raiders of the Lost Ark'. I wanted to watch it for three reasons 1)Sean Connery as Indiana Jones' father 2) I loved the Lost Crusader movie and therefore, I wanted to watch the other two 3) Sean Connery as Indiana Jones' father. The story was fine. But the action was a bit too much. Perhaps the best part of the movie was the first 10 minutes which showed Mr. Ford taking part in another adventure. Halfway through the movie, I realized that I had seen it before. To sum it up, it was just okay. And there was no Sean Connery in it.

    Chuck recently bought a nice DVD player. I went to help him get it up and working. He rented Harry Potter and the socerer's stone. I watched with him the first hour of the movie. It was by far the best movie of the 3 and a half. I loved the charming English setting and the wonderful accent.

    Then, I watched a local mallu movie. It had a strange story. It was about a young engineer who had a heart made of gold. He had a crush on his uncle's daughter who then got married to someone else. In his journey across India, he does a lot of touchy stuff. Finally, after he gets engaged with a writer, he commits suicide. Doesn't make sense uh? Well it needn't. Because it is strange in a dumb way. The only thing that was worth watching was the juxtaposition of flashbacks and present time stories one beside the other.

    The fourt one was the worst. It is actually a disaster called "Veer-Zara". I am going to pin point a lot of facts which need to be addressed by someone.

    • The Lahore-Amritsar road needs to be having a 6 foot tall fence of some sort to prevent buses from tumbling across the edge of the cliff. This fact was highlighted twice in the movie.
    • Pakistan is beautiful. India too is beautiful. Pakistanis are warm, loving and caring. Indians too are warm, loving and caring. A few Pakistanis hate India. A few Indians hate Pakistan as well. A few Pakistanis love India. A few Indian love Pakistan as well.
    • Too many stupid songs spoil good movies even. Forget a hopeless one.
    • Preity Zinta has an enormous set of boobs. Especially when they get wet.
    • Boman Irani is hot hot in roles as an ageing silverfox.

    I hope I will get to watch better movies on the big screen in the coming days.

    Nov 17, 2004

    Hollinghurst is awesome

    Finally, I've started on Alan Hollinghurst's 'A Line of Beauty'. The first fifty pages simply gave me thrills of joy. He is simply marvellous.

    On a side note, I have not completed 'The Lord of the Rings' or '1984' or 'Vernon God Little'. Therefore, this becomes the fourth book that I'm currently reading.

    Nov 16, 2004

    Dick Cheney's bulge

    Yesterday, I received a mail about a controversial photograph of Dick Cheney which appeared in a periodical in the US. The photo was taken on his campaign trail and it gave away some of his assets! The second I read the mail, I wanted to see the photo. Thankfully, I got the photo (a very unclear version) as another mail. You can see it here!

    Isn't it impressive? I mean, I would love to have someone who is so blessed as my man-friend!

    Dick Cheney's controversial bulge Posted by Hello

    Nov 15, 2004

    Up and down

    I've had a good and a bad day. I've finally made my decisions to
    buy what and when. My parents are happy to let me do that. But at the
    same time, I felt bad knowing that a pro band finds it hard to make
    their presence felt.

    I felt wonderful listening to a few minutes of a carnatic classical
    music concert while I went to pick my father up. It was sounding so
    very good. But I was feeling the kind of sadness in his tone when he
    introduced me to his friends there. He still wants me to be doing
    classical music. He still wants me to be more like him.

    I am aware that the divide between me and my parents is widening.
    In fact, I'm writing a song about it.

    Nov 14, 2004


    I and Mr. Lion had planned to engage in a 'discussion' today. We started planning a month back after I learned that my parents were going on tour for a couple of days.

    But, they changed their plans! In the last minute - on the morning of the tour. Well, because of a 'hartal' or generalized strike which paralyzes the life in these parts of the world.

    I'm so sad. And disppointed. I was so looking forward to this.

    Nov 13, 2004

    How my music senses developed

    I will consider myself to be a gifted musician. I mean I have some talent. I am blessed with a good ear and I work hard to develop my musical skills. The music talent in my paternal lineage might have also contributed significantly.

    I recently found out that my acute sense of hearing, the ability to pick up slight sounds and pin-point the directions of their origin resulted from being with my parents a lot. Want to know why? This is going to be gross. Therefore, those who have a lot of 'quality' time with your parents shouldn't read this. So here goes...

    Did I ever tell you that my parents fart a lot? Oh brother, they do! They fart in the most awkward situations. And in a variety of different ways. And they seemed to be the least bothered about it.

    I was watching the India Pakistan cricket match. My parents were home for only 3 hours of the match; they had to go a musical concert in between. I was reading a book as well. So most of the time, I wasn't looking anywhere other than the book. And in that period I counted 14 farts. I didn't need to look anywhere to identify the source... ie. father or mother and how far they were away. I could simply listen to the sound and pinpoint the location.

    Isn't it disgusting? I wish I lived with someone who wouldn't fart so much.

    Nov 12, 2004

    Power surge

    I felt odd. I felt like I wasn't doing anything meaningful. I wanted to come home and do something about not doing anything. My plans went right up my imaginary vagina. There was this power surge which destroyed a couple of a light bulps, burnt a few cm of coil in one of the celing fans and destroyed a fluorescent lamp choke.

    There are two questions here. Why do physical phenomena not under our control hit us when we are at our most vulnerable selves? And why do I hate the vagina?

    Nov 11, 2004

    I volunteered again

    The last three days have been hectic. I had attended a workshop on
    Research Methodology. It was simply excellent. I have big ambitions in
    my professional career. I hope to bring out a lot of scientific
    research papers in the future.

    To tell you the truth I want to start doing it right now. I want to
    show the rest of the medical fraternity here that it is important to
    conduct scientific research and contribute to the knowledge bank which
    they have used.

    Right at the end of the workshop one of the chair persons announced
    that they are running short of manpower to analyse data that they had
    collected over the past few years. Someone who was interested enough
    to do voluntary work will be gladly accepted and appreciated. As a
    return, the volunteer would gain a lot of experience and at times get
    their name published with the paper.

    Need I say more? I enrolled.

    Now I have these things to do.

    • Voluntary training at the hospital.

    • Songwriting and recording.

    • Improve skills on guitar and bass. Practice a lot. All this after
      buying a truck-load of gear.

    • Read as many books that I can.

    • Read as much of theory as I can.

    "Remember that if men were not meant to be sucked, their bodies
    wouldn't have come with a nozzle!" - A Gay

    Nov 10, 2004

    Diwali stupidity

    I still remember the time when I used to look forward to Diwali. We used to make the list of all the crackers and fireworks and used to order them via my father's office. And we used to spend a lot of time setting them on fire.

    And now? I hate even the idea of crackers. It is so absurd. It irritates me to the most. It scares my dog (and every other dog on the surface of earth) to nuts.

    I even remember arguing with a hot older man in our neighborhood a few years back about this. His wife, who at that time was recovering at home from a heart attack, needed some quiet rest-time. Our group of friends were setting mini explosives late in the night. This guy got out and shouted at us.

    At that time, I thought that he was being unreasonable. Now, I can understand who was unreasonable. I can understand who was stupid, stupid enough to not realize that it was an opportunity to gain a few points with this hot guy!

    Don't kill me Palestinians

    As I sifted through the stories in the newspaper this morning, I was particularly drawn to the articles related to the status of Yasser Arafat. According to a leading daily, there were conflicting reports about his condition. The Paris hospital authorities are quoted as saying that Arafat had died. The Palestinian authorities said that Mr. Arafat was certainly alive but seriously ill.

    Being the pervert that I am, my thoughts drifted to the picture that I had posted a couple of weeks back; the one with Arafat and his body guards. If you remember, I had picked that up because it outlined Mr. Arafat's package. Then I remembered something else. When I had shown Ray the same image, he said what interested him even further (than Arafat's package) was a couple of security aides in the picture.

    I wished that I could take one of those security aides and hug him and kiss him. I was getting lot in my dream when I heard my mother announce that my morning coffee was ready. I started sipping the coffee and resumed reading the newspaper.

    Then came something astounding! I'll quote a particular line from the newspaper.

    Saddened by the news of the departure of their leader, Arafat's security guards were seen hugging and kissing each other in front of the hospital in Paris.




    I couldn't believe my eyes. This was so gay! I felt happy about the fact such totally gay stuff were being printed out in newspapers in India.

    Then, I switched the computer on and searched Google for similar articles. See what I found.

    For several years there have been suggestions that Arafat was bisexual. Ion Pacepa, who was deputy chief of Romanian foreign intelligence under the Ceaucescu regime and who defected to the West in 1978, says in his memoirs that the Romania government bugged Arafat and had recordings of the Arab leader in orgies with his body guards.

    Nov 9, 2004

    Velvet Revolver

    If I haven't told you yet, Scott Weiland is one of my favorite(st) singers. I love the Stone Temple Pilots (STP). Almost everything they have done yet.

    About a few weeks back I noticed a song on the Alternative Rock station on my satellite radio which sounded so much like one made my STP. I didn't hear the DJ mention anything about STP. I thought it might be a band very good at mimicking Weiland's vocals.

    About a couple of weeks back I listened to yet another song which sounded very much like Weiland was singing in it. But the guitars and the melody of the song sounded like something else. I was thinking that this was some wannabe STP band trying their best.

    A couple of days back, I couldn't resist my urge to find out which this band was. I was listening to the second song mentioned above and didn't know it's name. Thanks to Google, which needs just a random line from a song's lyric to search and find out a 1000 pages about a band, I found the band out. It was termed Velvet Revolver.

    Okay, so what? I went to their website. I personally thought the site was a lot of bullshit. More showbiz than actual content. I lost interest in the band immediately and was about to click the X button on the right top corner of the window when I saw 'Weiland' on the site somewhere. I almost fell out of my chair!

    Somehow I managed to climb back and resumed reading. The line on top of a particular page read - Lead Vocals - Scott Weiland. That was enough for a surprise. Scott Weiland was performing in another band. That is why it was sounding different.

    Then I was I almost convulsed when I saw another name - Lead Guitar - Slash!

    Yes, Weiland had split off from the STP. After Axl Rose's departure from G 'n R, the band members had caught the priceless prize scalp in Weiland! And the team were already out with a record!

    I'm overwhelmed with surprise and bitter disappointment. I SO want STP to make new material. But on the bright side, Weiland is not being wasted in a rehab center. Even if it is with a boring metal band as G 'n R.

    Scales and Modes

    I'm a little worried because I'm not able to make a move on my
    guitar purchase. S.' friend couldn't be contacted as he's on tour.
    Good for him, but not for me. But I'm prepared to wait.

    I'm into some music theory now. I'm learning Scales and Modes. Tell
    you what, the modes are really tough. I'm finding it difficult to
    memorize even the names. Forget the actual scale modes.

    Nov 8, 2004

    I, Robot - I, Got Bored

    Isaac Asimov is probably my favorite writer. I have read most of
    his work and I love the book 'I, Robot'. But the movie is totally
    disappointing. The story lacks substance except for a good concept
    about Robots taking seige over mankind in order to protect them from
    the harm being caused by themselves.

    Nov 7, 2004

    Me and Xander - Part 2

    Here's the continuation the story of my relationship with Xander. Read Part 1 here.

    About a week later, Xander came visited me at home. I could clearly make out the change within him. Now he was more interested in Grunge and Alternative Rock and he was much better at playing the guitar. He said he wanted to learn more guitaring from me. I taught him the basics of chords and guitar theory. He seemed to pick it up very easily. In a week's time, he was playing stuff like Creed and Godsmack.

    We also tried jamming and recording some songs. I still remember one splendid cover version of 'My Sacrifice' by Creed that we did. It sounded so professional. After listening to it, we couldn't believe ourselves. That is about the time that we seriously started thinking about making a band.

    About this time, I was almost done with my Internship. There was a convocation ceremony and I really wanted to do a show at college. The line up I had planned was like this. Xander on vocals, S. on the drums, Ross (if I haven't introduced him yet, he my 'guru' in guitaring) on the guitars and myself on the bass.

    I and Xander did our practice very well. The other two promised to make it at the show. But in the last minute, S. had to withdraw. But we still managed to do an acoustic set of four songs. Xander was just astounding! Everyone at the venue was awestruck by his voice! Even my Mom and Dad, who were not at all interested in Rock music, were impressed!

    After this show, Xander started practicing even harder. I was getting busy with my preps for the pre-residency exams. About three months later, Xander rang me up and invited me for something huge - a recording session for an album! I was thrilled but at the same time unsure if I could get enough free time as my studies were much more important at that time. I was scared to explain this to Xander.

    I went for a couple of practice sessions but about three days from the actual recording, I called Xander up and told him that I wouldn't be able to make it. He said it was okay but obviously he was very disappointed. In fact he was totally in rage!

    About a month later, Xander called me and asked me if I wanted a copy of the record. (The record had 4 originals and 5 covers). I said yes. Finally he brought me a copy of the record. I loved one of the originals. It was only one week later that I realized that there was a song in the record with plenty of hatred against a doc who turned his back on a friend. I'd realized my mistake and didn't make it an issue.

    I'll continue it later!

    My preferred Birthday gift

    Usually, I don't wish for anything specific on my birthdays. In fact, I don't even expect someone to give me a present. Let's see. Last birthday a close friend of mine gave me two packs of Staedtler pencils which I loooooooved. Apart from that, I can't remember any special birthday gift in the past few years.

    But this year it is different. I wanted someone to give me a big present - A Fender Stratocaster electric guitar.

    Forget that. It is almost 8.30 pm in India and there are no signs that someone is going to give me anything as a present.

    That is why I'm turning to other avenues (read Internet). Would someone give me a belated birthday present? Preferably the beauty right along side this!

    Coming to think of it, if someone gave me a Strat as a present I wouldn't have to worry too much about the other gear that I'm going to buy. It would be such a bliss. Yes, it would be.

    If this doesn't work out, I will have to get converted to Christianity and wait for December-end. I could then hope for a hot silverfox in Santa to give me a Fender Strat and much much more on the night of Christmas!

    Confirmation of increasing gayness

    Confirmation of an earlier news story. I'm turning gay-er!

    • A day back, when I saw May, I asked her if something had changed regarding my physical appearance. She said 'You look more gay than ever!'. I asked her why. 'Tight trousers, a clean shave and pimples'. Apart from the pimples bit, which I confirmed later at home, I was very happy.

    • This is the birthday wish that I received on SMS - 'Birthday wishes to the gayest man alive - Happy Birtday!

    I am 25 years old!

    Today, I turn into a 25 year old man. I am not planning to celebrate it. That is because I'm still undecided on what music gear I'm getting before not too long. I still haven't heard from S. about his friend's opinion.

    Yesterday, I went to talk to May about a possible (arranged) proposal. The 'boy' is a resident in the hospital. I don't know him too well. But I had a feeling that he wouldn't be a good match for May. When I talked to her about this, I was very relieved to find her not interested. That really saved me a lot of trouble.

    Recently, I decided not to indulge in too much of silly-movie-watching. Ever since I told Ray this, he purposefully avoids me while going for the movies which he considers as not interesting enough. This week, he has done this thrice. 66.67% times, he has managed to have some 'cruising' action.

    Nov 6, 2004


    About a couple of weeks back, when I slumped on the couch in the living room after a day of heavy work at the hospital, my folks told me that S. had come home earlier and was using the computer. They asked me if I knew about it. I said that I didn't. I was wondering why they were making a fuss out of it?

    When I finally turned on my computer, I was astonished and angry to find that S. was browsing straight-porn. He even had a folder where he saves photos of nude models etc. I was really going to have to talk to him about this.

    Last week, after another busy day at the hospital, I was watching a movie on TV. S. came home and was talking to me and all I wanted was to talk to him about the porn issue. I have a problem when I'm in a mood like that. My tend to be sharp, to-the-point.

    I took him by surprise when I said that I had found that he was checking out straight-porn on my 'puter. He couldn't explain it first. But I didn't let him explain at first. I said that I didn't expect him to do that. Then came the wickedest reason from him - He said that he was doing some 'research' and needed photos of nude models!

    I was speechless for sometime. Anyway, I was more interested in watching the movie than talking to my friend about straight-porn. He went home.

    This week, once again he spent a lot of time at the computer when I was away. And to my disbelief, he was again at it. This time I think I've made my point clear that I didn't want him to repeat this again.

    When I think about it, I think my reasoning is fine.

    • I'm gay. I hate straight-stuff.
    • People shouldn't be watching straight-porn on my computer unless it involved senior men in it.
    • Straight-porn watching on a private computer isn't really necessary. You could go to any browsing center and do it without a hassle. Had I been straight and my friend gay, him watching gay-porn on my computer would have been fine.

    Does anybody else have a similar problem?

    Nov 5, 2004


    When it comes to stuff such as an electric guitar, my friend S. is a better bet than me. He has had a few years of jamming with pros in the city where he studied. He even knows to play it better than me. That is important when you consider that he's just starting out on guitar.

    When I talked to S. about my plans to buy new gear, he suggested that I should buy it with the help of a pro who he knows. He also suggested me to buy a Fender Strat second-hand. The more I read about it, I want to buy it.

    The plan now is that S. will ask his guitarist friend to find some time to check out a few guitars for me. I'll go to there and make the purchase.

    But, there is a problem. I have a good relationship with the music-shop guy here. I don't want to disappoint him because he already gives me a lot of freedom. I think I'll talk about this development with him and try to make him understand.

    Nov 4, 2004

    I'm tired

    I had to spend the night yesterday at the hospital. I covered for someone who I hate very much. But there wasn't much work. Ray was taking duty as well. We spent a lot of time talking and exchanging our views on hot bystanders at the ER.

    During my free time, I searched for help online for making guitar purchases. I enrolled into some discussion forums as well. I felt the desire for buying a Fender Showmaster increase!

    I'm tired now. I'll continue tomorrow.

    Nov 3, 2004

    Good day

    The case presentation went well. I didn't exceed my own expectations but I got good reviews from all of my colleagues.

    I went to check out electric guitars avaialble at the local music shop. I tried a Behringer V-Tone guitar. I was not too happy with it. I discussed other options. I might need to buy a Fender guitar. But that is way too expensive.

    I am now in good terms with the guy at the shop. I've already made him agree to let myself try out the Guitar Processors at home and then buy!

    Nov 2, 2004

    Case presentation

    Tomorrow morning, I'm going to present a case in front of the
    Department. It is my first big presentation after starting
    pseudo-residency! Therefore, I can't continue with the Xander story

    Nov 1, 2004

    Turning point in life

    I'll continue the evolution of my relationship with Xander later. Today I have a bombshell to drop!

    But to get you to understand the reasons behind the bombshell, you need to know that Xander and I have decided towards making our dreams real; make a band and write songs. The decision took place late yesterday evening.

    I happened to get an opportunity to break this news to my parents. To my utter surprise, I found them to be supportive. They said that I should get the gear that I need and work on my music for the time being. Well, it there was a reason as well. My father, who is an astrologer, predicts that I'm going to be succesful in my musical career than in medicine.

    Since this turning-point, I've been thinking about putting in more time to music. This means that I can't spend so much time at the hospital. Therefore I need to quit or work as a regular 'voluntary' trainee does; take no duties and hang around as per my wishes.

    I thought I should ask my chief if I can do that. I was astonished to hear another positive response. I'm thrilled. Now, I can work on my music while keeping myself in touch with the hospital work.

    I've already visited to the local music shop to enquire about the prices of electric guitars, amps and FX units. I'm going to check some of these apparel out later on in the week.

    One thing that I'm pretty sure about - This is going to be one big turning point in my life!

    And I'll continue with Xander tomorrow...

    Oct 31, 2004

    Me and Xander

    I've got too many things to write about and I don't know where to start. I think I'll start with a huge huge thing happening to my life. I had another chat session yesterday with Xander.

    Our history is very complicated. We met about 5 years back when my friend S introduced Xander to me. Back then, Xander and S were in a slutty college band which played covers of boybands and pop songs. Xander was a rapper/vocalist who was not too much interested in rock. That was because he had never heard enough to get interested.

    It was a practice session for their college rock show and they wanted some advice. I was much better off than either in guitar and musical theory. Naturally, I helped them out with chords and melodies etc. I was getting bored doing this and wanted them to do something more rockish. But no one was interested enough.

    During this apparently inconsequential session, S. asked me if he could let Xander borrow my guitar. I said it is fine. He took my guitar and I didn't see him for some time.Another show came up in their college. S. took my drumset, tambourine and another guitar. At that time I was having a busy time with my studies in med school and I didn't have time to practice or jam.

    A few months passed by and I needed my gear back. I called S. up and asked him to bring the stuff back home. S. said he will bring it soon. Even after a few weeks, no signs of him returning. I went and talked to S. about it. S. said that there was a problem. Most of the stuff was with other bandmates from college (including Xander) and they refused to return it.

    I insisted. Finally I got back my stuff, not all of it though. The drum set was damaged. My tambourine was gone and only one guitar was back. The guitar with Xander had not yet arrived. I was in rage after this and I bursted out to S. He said he was helpless and couldn't help me repair the stuff.

    I was very disappointed. But still I didn't have my guitar back from Xander. I hated Xander then. I demanded S. that he should bring the guitar home whatever happens. In another months time, after numerous phone calls as reminders, he brought the guitar back.

    I was relieved. But I still hated Xander.

    Then, came my big mid-life-crisis. It involved S. and was a huge misunderstanding. It is too long to write about here. In summary, I lost my trust in S. I realized that S. was making excuses all the while for not taking care of my gear. This meant that Xander was not responsible for not giving back the guitar.

    A few months passed. I began my internship. I was enjoying life. One day, at a restaurant, I was handed over a fly about a gig in town. I decided to go to the gig. I was without company and had high hopes.

    But two songs into the gig I felt rotten. It was gospel rock and it didn't sound great. I hated the lyrics and once the vocalist asked everyone to stand up and clap while should "We serve the lord..." or something of that sort, I thought I had enough of this.

    I rushed out and noticed that there were three others who went out along with me. The one in the middle was Xander! I went and met him. I was very happy. We decided on meeting sometime later to jam.

    I'll continue the story tomorrow...

    Oct 30, 2004

    Gayness and finger ratio

    Go read this first!

    This is the second time in a week that studies based on finger lengths have gained relevance to my life. If you have gone to the link, you'll make sense out of this. My index finger is relatively smaaaaal compared to my ring finger!

    In 24 hours

    • It was a wonderful night yesterday with a cocktail dinner at a club for surgeons from our city. The case presentations and the discussion held afterwards were simply excellent.
    • During dinner, our Head of the Department came up to me and asked me if I want to change units at the hospital. I said I didn't want at first. Then, when I thought about it I thought I wasn't sure about this. I ended up being totally confused about this topic and asked around for opinion. This caused further confusion. I have asked him to give me two days time to make up my mind about this. I still don't know whether I should give away an opportunity work with Chuck.
    • I woke up to see Yasser Arafat's package outlined clearly in the front page of India's national newspaper, The Hindu. Not a bad start.
    • There was a cutie right beside Yasser Arafat. Very, very hot.
    • I went to the hospital to attend an interesting academic discussion.
    • Had a dull day at the OT.
    • Heard from a resident (that I hate the most) that our chief considers me as a role-model for residents. I'm not kidding! This happened. Apparently, my chief is really impressed by me.
    • Came back home to watch the final rites at the Nagpur test. I wish I could just instill in the batting skills of Parthiv Patel into either Ganguly or Yuvraj so as to get Patel off as 'keeper and to get some use from the latter two for Team India.
    • Chatted with my pal and bandmate Xander after a long time. He is now working as a 3D animator in the city which I'm starting my residency in 6 months' time. I'm very happy.
    • I find out that the place where his office is only 10 minutes from the hospital that I'll be working in. I'm ecstatic. This way, I have someone there with whom I can entrust my musical gear. This is awesome.
    • I make him listen to my latest song fearing the fact that the directions in which I and he have gone in our songwriting careers have created a big gap which might be hard to bridge. But he ends up liking the song. He even thought that I sang well in it. He says that I've a good voice. I'm thrilled to my subtlest senses!
    • I'm beaming in the evening while attending an academic session at the hospital. I am very happy to inform Chuck and Ray about the developments.
    • Finally, I and Ray end up watching King Arthur in the second show. It is a good movie.

    It has been a wonderful day. A day which probably gives me a definitive direction in the future. I think I can harbor hopes of a good band career with Xander!

    Oct 29, 2004


    Yes. I'm going to break the big news concerning chuck. Brace yourself...

    Chuck is going to get married soon! If you remember, I covered for Chuck because he had to leave for some place in an emergency. He had indeed gone to check out the girl.

    For those of you who cannot make sense of what I meant by the phrase 'check out the girl', remind yourself that I live in India where arranged marriages are still considered as the rule. And this is how an arranged marriage would go.

    The father and mother of the man/woman would consider matrimonial sections from newspapers, magazines, internet etc. From these sources, they would take the horoscopes of both the sides and compare. In the case of a match, they would enquire about each others' family background. If they find it alright, the parents would talk over on the phone. Finally if they seem to be okay to each other, they (the parents) plan to meet. If the sets of parents don't mind each other too much, they would eventually arrange for a meeting of the man and woman who would be marrying. This is the function that I meant by checking out.

    Back to Chuck; he liked the girl. The two sides like each other. Therefore, his marriage is almost fixed. All it needs is an official engagement ceremony to fix it officially.

    He had broken this news to me on the day before he went. Now, most of our close friends know it. And that is why I'm able to tell you.

    If you want to know how I feel about it. Umm, I don't know. Really. First of all, I don't believe in arranged marriages. Then about kinda losing a friend, or at least the prospect of losing out on some quality friends-time with Chuck is saddening. But I think I should be happy for Chuck. Chuck is happy because he wants his parents to be happy. Therefore, he doesn't mind getting married even though, personally, he would want to marry only after he finishes his residency.

    Oct 28, 2004

    The story of self destruction

    This has got to be really sad. My friend J., who is only 25, had an episode of epistaxis (bleeding from the nose) last week. He lost about 100 ml of blood in the first episode which subsided with nasal packing. He had another episode in the night which was less severed. He got his blood pressure checked. It was 120 over 180 mm of Hg. His blood test have returned to be normal and he doesn't give a history of any trauma/picking to the nose.

    What his means that it is a Hypertensive epistaxis. He is a chronic smoker for about 10 years and smokes 1 to 2 packs per day.

    All these years, I've been trying to get him off this dirty habit. Many a times, I've felt like a loser because of my unsuccesful efforts.

    Oct 27, 2004

    Index finger length and penile length

    This has got to be one of the most interesting stories that I've read in the past few months. There is an article about correlation of penile length with that of the index finger. Go check it out.

    From now on, I'll take a vow that I would carefully scrutinize the hands of all hot patients in the hospital! ;)

    The only bad thing about this article is that it has destroyed my fantasies about penis length and girth increasing with age and some other body measurements. I usually go by these; thickness of forearms, wrists and fingers for penile girth.

    "Age and (body measurements) were not associated with the size of the genitalia, excluding the index finger length, which correlated significantly with the dimensions of the flaccid, maximally stretched, penis," the report indicates.

    Oct 26, 2004

    This boy needs to be shot

    I am very excitable when it comes to cricket. I usually follow Cricket Test matches, especially those involving India, as much as time permits. These days I'm not being able to catch most of the live action. But whatever I get to see is disappointing. Parthiv Patel, supposedly one of the bright young talents in Indian cricket, doesn't deserve to be playing in the senior eleven.

    He needs to be shot on the stadium after he grounds yet another important catch/stumping. I know this may sound too radical. But isn't that the only option. The captain, coach and the selectors cannot figure out the fact that India can win more test matches if it gets a better 'keeper.

    Oct 25, 2004

    Still suspended

    It is only a couple of days or so before I can break you the huge news concerning Chuck. The day was dull except for more developments on the Chuck-front.

    I'm getting sick and tired of working with lazy residents. The day when I covered for Chuck, I had a great time working with the residents in his unit. The atmosphere is so different here; indifferent would be a proper word.

    Chuck is already breaking the news to his closest friends. That means that I can breathe a sigh of relief because I had told Ray about this even after Chuck ordered against this. Finally when Chuck broke it to him, Ray acted splendidly to avoid any uneasy moments.

    Things that happend in under 24 hours

    • Chuck gave me the details about something which I can't write about. It is pretty humongous. Even by my gay standards.
    • I watched a Roger Moore Bond flick on Television. The name is 'The Man with a Golden Gun'. To my surprise, it was much better than the Sean Connery films with the Sean Connery part out. I mean, Roger Moore is no way as hot Sean when it comes to Gay sex appeal. The movie had some pretty gross scenes which were funny and highly unforgettable. Mr. Moore is shown twisting the Sumo wrestler's *loin-cloth* hard enough to make him pass out due to pain and fears of impotence for the rest of his life and thereby, helping to release the round-the-body squeeze grip that the wrestler used to stop Moore from going inside the villain's bungalow. There is another scene where 007's girl friend Good Night accidentally pushes a button with her buttocks (while bending down to watch her man in action)and thereby, inadvertently triggering a mechanism which concentrates the suns engery into to a 400 degree beam which might have vaporized Mr. Bond had he not been fast enough in his efforts to save the world.
    • My unit chief openly admitted that he trusted me more than most of the residents in the unit. I felt like I was kissing Gabriel Garcia Marquez (who is the latest entry to my WHILTHS List. I have to admit that being an elderly male writer with monstrous fame is good enough to get an entry into the list. But Mr. Marquez is SO physically hot!
    • Gabriel Garcia Marquez got entry into the prestigious "With Him, I'd Like To Have Sex" (WHILTHS) List. There was an article about him in the newspaper with a photograph. Our maid servant had to spend extra hours to wipe the floor clear of all the drool.
    • Three reasons why Mr. Marquez is on the list

    • I made it to an special category of human beings; those who can take more than 40 push ups in one go. I did 41 today. I had a great work out in the morning. I have upgraded my dumbells to 9 from 7 kg. I'm almost ready for the 11 kg dumbells.
    • I cracked a wonderfully straight joke at the Operation Theatre the other day. My straight image is so well glorified now.
    • My cousin spent 12 hours at my home using the computer. He was preparing for an exam. During that time period.
      • Time spent with him : 46 minutes

      • Time spent talking to him : 22 minutes

      • Time spent talking to him about computers : 19 minutes

      • Time spent talking to him about him : 1 minute

      • Time spent talking to him about me : 2 minutes

      • Time spent talking to him while looking at him : 32 seconds

    • Another random list of stuff
      • Number of times someone made fun of me of lacking muscular mass : 2
      • Number of times someone said that I've gained weight : 2
      • Number of times I felt good about having gained weight : 1
      • Number of times that I felt depressed after learning that I had gained fat and not muscle : 2

    A big secret

    I'm sorry. I cannot break the secret yet. It is about Chuck and it is huge. It is so huge that it is going to change his life forever. I, being his close friend, can expect huge changes in my life as well.

    I don't think that anyone who I know personally (other than Ray and May) are reading this. But May still doesn't know anything about it. So I can't post it here.

    Oct 24, 2004

    I'm good

    I should confess that I'm very satisfied with myself. I think I have succesfully passed the test. The first 24 hour shift was busy. I didn't sleep until 8AM the next morning. Had a 3 hour nap. And I felt totally fine until the first half of next day's duty. Chuck relieved me then. But even then, I thought I could safely negotiate the further 12 hours.

    This is very important regarding the future. I would be working like a dog when I start my residency next year. I think I'm preparing myself well for it.

    Oct 22, 2004


    Here it comes! I'm going to test myself out for fitness/temperament
    for working as a resident in a leading institution from next year
    onwards. Actually, I'm going to take a back to back 24 hours duty
    through the weekend extending to Monday afternoon.

    I'm covering for Chuck in the first 24 hour duty. Chuck had to go
    somewhere to do something. I can't divulge more right now.

    The rest of the duty is mine. I hope to feel alright after the
    whole thing. I wouldn't like to let myself down!


    It's about 2 kilometers to the hospital from my home. Once I get to the highway from the lane that I live in, it is a breezy ride till I turn off on a side-road which takes me to another highway on the side of which lies my hospital. This side-road is formed by convergence of two slopes and is about 1.2 km in length.

    This side-road goes across a thickly populated residential area of the town. New houses come up everyday on its sides. As part of this, people just dig up the road to lay the pipes for water supply. This makes the road full of full length gutters, pits, pot-holes etc. A ride on it on my battered scooter is enough to give an average middle aged Indian to develop Intervertebral Disc Prolapse.

    The corporation and the government is generous enough to repair the road every year as part of some silly election campaign or something of that sort. This year, there have been two such repairs. Probably because the number of potholes seemed to be a lot more than last years. The last one was only a week back.

    You can't imagine how good it felt when I went to the hospital about a week back without worrying too much about potholes. I was hoping that it would remain so for at least one or two months.

    Now - in the last 5 days, 4 full-length gutters have been created thanks to the wonderful set of civilians! Can it be more disgusting?

    Oct 21, 2004

    'A Line of Beauty'

    Things that could brighten up my day.

    • Lots of sex.

    • A good book.

    • A good day out with friends.

    • Getting credit for my work from patients.

    • Coming to know that I have a chance to win a personal copy of Alan Hollinghurst's 'A Line of Beauty' which won the prestigious Booker Prize for the year 2004.

    Yes! A couple of weeks back, I entered a competition to guess the Booker Prize winner at the Briish Library in my town. I chose 'A Line of Beauty'. Don't think that I had read the books before and judged that Hollinghurst's gay themed novel deserved to win the prize. It's just because my friend R., who is much more educated about authors and novels than myself, suggested that this book had a better chance than others.

    Now that I'm in the running for the prize, I am in a very happy mood. I don't know why such a apparently silly thing could lit up myself from a couple of days of depression.

    Maybe it is not just the book. I had a good day at the Surgery yesterday. And, I feel ashamed to commit this in public, I saw a huge, magnificently sculptured penis; something that could compete with those on porn sites.

    Oct 20, 2004


    I was feeling down in the last couple of days. I couldn't find a proper reason why. Something to do with the general feeling of not doing anything productive in the academic/music fields.

    Sometimes, when I listen to the radio or when I watch TV, I'm inspired to the core to work on some music. Something original. The ideas will come. But where is the time? To sit and compose something unique, something extra-ordinary and to record it. Damn, I need to make something new.

    Chaos @ schedules

    I'm in trouble again. I have so many things to do. I don't have
    enough time. I think I need to quit doing something in order to make
    time for the things that I give higher priorties. I think these are
    the things that should cut down first.

    • Internet time
    • TV viewing
    • Movies

    And I should get back my schedules to some sort of normalcy. More
    sleep in the night time.

    Oct 19, 2004

    Shame on me

    Yesterday, I scooted hospital. I wanted a break. I woke up late. Finished a lot of pending chores. Spent time reading books/newspapers. It should have been a good day.

    But it turned out to be bad. As I had expected it to be. That is because I feel bad when I don't go to hospital as a part of 'relaxing'. This feeling got worse when the chief of the unit which I work in said that this the first time that I had acted 'lazy'; like the other residents!

    Shame on me.

    Oct 18, 2004

    Bride and Prejudice

    Gurinder Chaddha (I hope I got the name correct) has suddenly turned herself into an idiot. Or so it may seem if you decide to watch her latest movie 'Bride and Prejudice'. The whole movie is rotten. The cast, the screenplay, the songs, the choreography... I could go on and on.

    The only thing which is worth remembering from the movie is the comical portrayal of a couple of Baywatch-esque life guards howling with their arms extended as part of the backup in a song in the movie. What it reminded me was an episode on MAD TV featuring a Baywatch type story.

    Oct 17, 2004


    On the day before I went for the tour, my friend R gave me this book to read; J. M. Coetzee's 'Disgrace', the winner of the 1999 Booker Prize. When I started reading it I thought it was very interesting. It had some additional relevance for me as the protagonist was an elderly professor who had a happening, but promiscous sex life. The story is based in South-Africa and had a Sugar Daddy ring to it.

    I took the book with me on the tour and kept reading while I was travelling. And I couldn't keep it down. I finished it today morning. And I thought it was truly wonderful. I am very happy now.

    First of all, it is something like 3 years since I read a book without much of a break. My late teenage and first few years in medschool were full of such sprees. Of late, I have not been able to. I don't know why. Maybe it is because I have a lot more of hobbies to attend to. Computers, music, movies etc weren't around then.

    The point is that life as it is at present, does not give me the chance to read books like this although I so wish it did. Having said that, I've already started on another novel; '1984' by George Orwell.

    Oct 16, 2004

    To the Queen

    I'm about to start for another weekend tour; this time it is for a
    conference at the city known as the Queen of the Arabian sea. I hope
    to have a great time! See you all in two days!


    It's not often that I post thrice in a day. But this deserves the third post.

    Superman was feeling bored after a long break of crime fighting and wanted to go out and party. He called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club & pick up some young girls. Batman said Robin was ill & he had to look after him. A little disappointed, Superman "SMS" Spiderman to see if he fancied a few beers but Spiderman said he had a date with Catwoman. As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonderwoman's apartment to see if she was free. As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonderwoman naked on the bed with her legs open and her eyes closed. Superman thought to himself, "So exotic, should I or shouldn't I ...wait ...I'm faster than a speeding bullet! I can be in there, have sex & out again before she knew what happened." So Superman did his super thing in a split second and flies off happily. Meanwhile on the bed, Wonderwoman said, "What is going on? Did you hear anything ...?" Invisible-Man replied, "No! But....... my ASS hurts like hell!"

    Oct 15, 2004

    Asexuality hits humans

    By golly - Check this out!


    The following passage will only make sense if you go visit the link given above.

    Two days before I committed an unforgivable error. In an episode of Will and Grace, I failed to pick up the fact that a woman, who looked so alike Madonna, was Madonna! I realized it after Ray asked me if I saw the episode with Madonna. I said "Yeah, I saw the show. But that isn't Madonna. In fact, she is supposed to look like Madonna. There were a lot of jokes with regard to music industry in the episode. But that doesn't mean that the woman is Madonna herself!"

    Pondering as to why my faculty of judgement suddenly stranded me, I came to realize that the image of Madonna that I had in mind - sloppy, dumb, boring, straight pop singer who danced like she was trying to attract apes - was the problem. In the episode, her role was totally different. She was funny, snappy, interesting and lesbian.

    Now, my judgment couldn't be any wronger! Madonna is asexual? She would prefer curling up with a book instead of a stud? Whew! What has the world come to?

    Gayness inherited

    A couple of tough days at the hospital kept me away from blogging.
    But I'm not keeping myself quiet now that I have some free time. The
    coolest thing about yesterday was an href="">article on
    the BBC about the inheritance of homosexuality.

    There are stuff in there which I want to make a few people on the
    surface of the earth read and decide. Right now, I want Chuck to read
    it. He still thinks that homosexuality is a perversion. Even though he
    accepts that he has a gay friend, he still likes to think of it as a

    Oct 12, 2004

    The agony begins

    Today, my braces got 'activated' officially. What this means is that I'll have a dull aching pain till these come off. Right now, the pain is practically non-existent. It is only when you try to bite/chew with the teeth in brackets that I have pain.

    On the positive side, I'm trying to break my push-up records. 38 is my record which I have equalled today. I'll try to improve it to 40 in two days.

    At the seminar

    I went to a seminar regarding biomaterials used in clinical
    surgical practice. There was a lecture from a famous German surgeon on
    the various devices available for use. At the end of the lecture,
    there was a session for clearing doubts among the audience.

    I had a doubt. When I got the opportunity, I stood up and asked the
    question. The question made sense to everyone present at the seminar
    except this German professor. He said he couldn't understand my
    question. I repeated my question again. I tried rephrasing it as well.
    By this time the professor, who until then appeared pleasant and
    comfortable, looked uneasy and grumpy. He finally sort of shrugged
    away from answering properly.

    At the end I felt bad. Afterall, he was a good looking man about 50
    years of age.

    Oct 11, 2004

    Special sentence

    Check out this sentence...

    "I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing
    handwriting nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical
    intellectuality, counterbalancing indecipherability,
    transcendentalizes intercommunications incomprehensibleness."

    "The person who formulated this sentence must be a vocabulary wizard.

    "If you read the sentence carefully. . .

    "In the sentence every Nth word is N letters long, e.g. 3rd word is 3
    letters long, 8th word is 8 letters long and so on...

    Oct 10, 2004

    Pussy Galore and the Air Circus

    I cannot stop laughing. It's been about an hour since the Bond
    movie Goldfinger finished on TV. Why? Because of the terminology used
    in the movie. The charming lady who is seduced by agent 007 is called
    Pussy Galore! What a name! I wonder if they purposefully chose the
    name ditching a thousand others. By the way, she is the chief trainer
    of a group of pilots called 'Air Circus' who work for the bad-man in
    the movie.

    I decided to watch the movie because I thought Sean Connery's voice
    and dialogues could provide me enough fodder for pleasing myself for a
    week or so; until the next movie in a weeks time. I must admit that it
    was disappointing. Except for one scene with (guess who) Pussy Galore
    who flied Mr. Bond across the atlantic in a personalized jet which she
    pilots. Bond suggests in the huskiest of voices 'We can make this
    flight unforgettable.'. And Ms. Pussy Galore replies 'Save your
    charms, Mr. Bond. I'm a professional and I'm on duty.'

    Had I been Ms. Pussy Galore (even better as Mr. Dick Aplenty), I
    would have answered 'Certainly, Mr. Bond.'

    On a side note: I really loved the musical score of Kill Bill Vol.
    1. Did anyone else like that too?

    "Remember that if men were not meant to be sucked, their bodies
    wouldn't have come with a nozzle!" - A Gay

    Oct 9, 2004

    Kill Bill Vol.1 > Kill Bill Vol.2

    I watched Kill Bill Vol. 1 and 2 in 24 hours. I took a pirated DVD
    of the former and watched the latter in the theatre.

    The title is self-explanatory. I liked the first volume of Kill
    Bill better than vol. 2. But not by a whole lot much. And I didn't
    think that Kill Bill vol.2 sucked. There are great surprises in the
    movie and it is worth watching.

    Uma Thurman is really hot and pretty. This is one woman who I guess
    I would have liked to have sex with had I been straight. I don't know
    what is her strong point. I must confess that almost all throughout
    the movie, I kept staring inside the mouth of Uma. I think she has a
    great set of teeth.

    I had gone to the movie with Ray. He enjoyed Vol. 2 even better than me.

    Another cool thing I did today - I went to the library and checked
    out the Booker Prize long listed books. I read the first few pages of
    a few of the books. Two of them were revolting!

    A sad sad thing also happened today. I was sending a link of my
    last recorded song to my friend. Then I realized that it has been over
    45 days since I wrote/recorded a song.

    Oct 8, 2004

    Oh my super-intelligent-alien, I have *straight* porn on my computer!

    First of all, let me clarify the the title of the post.

    I am an atheist. Therefore, I am a little uncomfortable to even use
    the word 'God'. Since one of the commonest phrases to convey the
    feeling of surprise has 'God' in it, I always think twice before
    saying it. Sometimes, I start off saying the phrase and then try to
    fade it off. I'm a little more conscious of its use in

    My efforts to find an alternative word were futile until I saw the
    move Alien Vs. Predator. The story hinges on the concept that a
    species of super-intelligent-aliens come to planet earth. They teach
    human beings everything. And the human beings worshipped them in
    return. Basically, these super-intelligent-aliens are what the what we
    refer to as God.

    Not that I didn't know about this concept. I have read enough of
    Asimov/Clarke to know this from my adolescence. Now this is helping me
    out. Henceforth, I can comfortably use the phrase; at least on my

    The other day, Ray was using my computer. I was showing him a
    website with a cool shock-wave animation. To load the page which I had
    viewed before, I used my Mozilla Firefox's History option. And there
    it was! A dozen desi *straight* porn sights up in the front!

    Ray looked at me in a puzzled way. I was shocked to death. Then the
    answer came to me. My friend S. has been using my computer to browse
    through *straight* porn sites. That is without me knowing it. He comes
    when I'm away at the hospital and says to my folks that he needs to
    check mail. And he commits the unpardonable sin of watching *straight*

    I don't know what to do. I think I have to talk to him about it. I
    don't know the reason why I don't like some of my friends using my

    Oct 7, 2004

    The Tree of Life

    This is what my friend J wrote recently.

    Life is a tree of decisions.

    The difference between two people at any given time boils down to
    whether one looks down the mouth or up the arse.

    In any case, the next decision one has to make is whose mouth and whose arse.
    Then there is the implementation part of how to interconnect one mouth
    to an arse.

    Once all of these are decided, life becomes a matter of moving from
    mouth to arse to mouth or vice versa.

    Then again, it is the same thing.

    It is the perspective that makes the difference.

    Pretty cool!

    Oct 5, 2004

    More plans

    I have been harboring elaborate plans to convert myself into a hunk. Most of them have bitten dust. But I see a ray of hope now. A couple of my friends have started going to gym last week. I have decided to join them. It would be one momentous moment in my gay life; when I step into a professional gym!

    I have other plans as well. I plan to take an educational loan and buy myself

    • A laptop

    • A portable mp3 player

    • An electric guitar

    • An FX unit

    • A cube which can be used both for bass ang electric guitars

    • A digital camera

    Music has been practically out of my system for the last three weeks. That stupid argument has laid my spirits low. I need some inspiration to write songs. The topic most of often written about is 'love'. I don't have that in my life. Even if I had, I wouldn't be able to write love songs without directly conveying through the song that I was gay. This is tough!

    Alien Vs. Predator

    I expected the movie to be rotten. It wasn't. It was okay. I
    attribute this to my sci-fi instincts. Of course there are a lot of
    stupid things in the plot of the movie. But the general concept about
    God = super-intelligent alien is sort of interesting.

    These days, it has been raining a lot. That is the reason why I and
    Ray walked for long stretches after the movie. The time spent walking
    was worthwhile as we got to check out a few hot older men.

    Oct 2, 2004

    A perfect day

    Finally, after 2 long weeks, I had a perfect day. I got up early and went for jogging. I came back home and read the newspapers before getting a shower. Then got dressed, ate well and reached hospital perfectly in time for a fully day duty.

    Not surprisingly, the whole day went like a charm. I felt energetic all through out the day. I didn't eat like a pig at all in spite of the fact that I was due to have a heavy work hours ahead.

    This sort of proves the point that exercise keeps you on your toes. And all these days, I have been thinking that lack of sleep would leave me tired.

    Oct 1, 2004


    Amongst the friends that I have, Ray and Chuck are different. Both prefer vegetarian dishes to non-veg stuff. Being with them, especially with Ray, means that I tend to have more vegetarian stuff when we go out to eat. This is a healthy trend for sure. And to be honest, I enjoy it.

    Having said this, I really enjoy eating meat, eggs and fish. Fish my personal favorite. Amongst meats, it is Chicken > Mutton > Pork > Beef.

    Oh, by the way, I'm supposed to be a total vegetarian. My religion and caste sub-classification means implies I should be one. But I have never been one. The reason is because the servant lady who used to take care of me during my childhood (when my Mom was away for work) used to give me eggs.

    Back to vegetarianism - I really enjoy most of these veggie stuff. Especially those prepared well. That would be from good restaurants.

    Today, I had a wonderful meal from a Vegetarian specialty restaurant by the hospital. I had a 'Coconut Oothappam'. It is one tasty dish. Go try it out!

    Sep 30, 2004

    More responsibilities

    Starting October, I'll be working officially as a junior resident at the hospital. That means that I get entrusted with duties just like other residents. Until now (for the last 2 months), it was the intensive training bit. This means that, I would get lesser number of duties per week. But those I take would be much busier.

    Another great news; starting tomorrow, new interns will join the college. This means that residents can concentrate more on their actual work without doing too much of clerical and investigational work.

    Damn my tummy

    It has been three weeks since I jogged in the morning. The workouts are becoming rarer and rarer. Now, it is showing. I think I'm gaining in abdominal fat. I'm not becoming over conscious about it as some people might think.

    I think it is high time that I get rid of the idea that I should jog at a particular time every day. Instead, I'm going to try and jog at the time I get to be free.