A crazy dinner date

It was another Friday evening. But unlike the last time, I was out on a dinner date. A dinner date with a new friend that I had acquired from the GB mailing list. Humor was the inciting factor that led us to communicating with each other in the first place - humor as a response to an e-mail from a very funny Parsee with whom people have been trying to compete in vain to be funny.

Anyway, I didn't know what to expect. All I knew that I was going to be treated to dinner by a fun-loving Gujju man. As I was getting myself out of the office after sprinkling myself with perfume, my colleagues were all curious as to who this date was with. I told them all that it was nothing special. Just a dinner date. To someone else, I had already shared a little bit of this interesting man's history - of having two committed relationships at the same time.

When we met at the Charni Road station, I was a little surprised. Not quite what I was expecting, but not something unpleasant at all. My friend showed traits of being a half heterosexual by being rather uncaring of how he presents himself to the world. The conversation was interesting enough until we reached his favorite adda - a veg bar/restaurant.

The idea of a veg bar/restaurant was itself quite unsettling. Then came the stories about his relationships. They were so incredibly exotic - many people from GB have campaigned against the nature of these relationships - that they did leave a unsavory aftertaste. That came with the overdose of vegetarian cuisine over Kingfisher lager beer. Quite unlike what I'm used to, to say the least.

As a respite however, I watched the Bangladeshi Tigers give a gem of a performance against the English Lions on the lone television in the restaurant. All in all, a crazy dinner date.

Why teenagers should be quarantined until middle age

So, yesterday I was at a posh club downtown to watch my friend's band Airport' perform - (I was at Zenzi Mills for all you bitchy Mumbai-ites). They were supposed to start at 9.30 pm. I, like a turd of bullcrap, thought that they would start on time. I mean, which band starts on time anyway - excepting Shoonyas perhaps, but we play at cheapass pubs which have strict time regulations etc.

As I walk in 15 minutes early, I meet my friends (aka the members of the performing band) who are just coming back from their apartment wearing nice fashionable clothes, with gelled hair and the just-got-out-of-the-shower look. Mind you, I'm wearing out-of-fashion boring cheap jeans and a Levi's faded black tee shirt, and slippers, and I look as tired as an old hooker. I exchange my pleasantries with my friends and we all walk in the pub.

We reach the first tier - the place where the gig will happen - and my friends start tuning their guitars and stuff. I look around and I see a group adolescents looking at me expectantly. WTF? How the fuck does a relatively new and upcoming, albeit talented, band have such a desirable fan base - a bunch of idiotic teenage wannabes who groove to silly disco music, wasting their parents' hard-earned blood turned into testicular sweat/intermammary cleft sweat money!

Then, my friends leave for the outside to catch up with their pre-requisite body nicotine levels while I, like a fool, stay back to play with my PDA. And then I realize - there's a fucking b'day party going on! The teenagers are doing mindless shit - like having a competition to decide who falls down to the floor while all of them start spinning around like tops! Jesus Fucking Christ! Give me a break!

I can't fucking believe my loser-of-the-millenium luck man. What am I?