Three books

I started three books last night. Entirely unlike me, I will admit. Not because I don't like reading, but because I don't have the kind of time I would have like to have had to devote to it. I have a gruelling full-time job, I'm a part-time musician, I live by myself for all practical purposes, I'm in a demanding relationship, and I live in Mumbai, which means I spend about 3 to 4 hours in commute every day. But that's not what this post is about. It is about the three books that I have started yesterday.

What were they? Stumbling on Happiness by Dan Gilbert, Smarter Than You Think: How Technology Is Changing Our Minds for the Better by Clive Thompson, and The Giver by Lois Lowry. How these books arrived in my consciousness is interesting.

My friend/colleague/book-clubber forwarded a TED talk by Dan Gilbert to me and J. I usually do not warm up to such video shares. First, because I rarely find myself in a situation, when I initially check the thread/conversation, where I can comfortably watch and comprehend what I'm seeing. Poor connectivity, environmental distractions, etc., you see. Second--come on, admit it. Who wants to hear another talk about the elusive "happiness"?

Anyway, I watched this talk--I was at my apartment late in the night when I checked and I immediately watched the video. Mr. Gilbert was not only persuasive in terms of his argument about how happiness is relative and difficult to attain, he was funny and had interesting references. Hence, I decided to download a sample on my Kindle. I was hooked and I bought the book immediately. I am now past the second chapter and it remains interesting.

Clive Thompson's book about technology changing our minds and the way we communicate was inspired by, ahem, another talk. This time, I was at the talk that Mr. Thompson gave at the plenary address at the Council of Science Editor's Annual Meeting in Philadelphia. The talk about the Future of Thought, and I, along with some other conference attendees thought this speech was the best at the conference.

IMO, @pomeranian99 stole the show with the plenary "The Future Of Thought", and many agree with me! https://t.co/EDYfHXoMzY

— Krishna Kumar V. (@krishna_kumar_v) May 18, 2015

Even in the talk, Clive was able to successfully demystify the notion that the changes in the way we communicate--the reliance of texting, social media, spending time online--which are generally considered bad for you, are not bad at all. We are thinking differently and that's fine. We are getting more information, which is benefiting us. He stresses on the "ambient information" from "weak ties" as the most useful information that you will get for your day-to-day life.

In other words, you will probably be more benefited from random status updates of your casual social acquaintances more than the in-depth discussions that you have with your spouse. Pretty cool, eh? If you want to find out more, please get the book. It's a smooth and fast-paced read.

Plus, Twitter now makes reading books on topics like these by being cool like this:

@pomeranian99 Just started reading your book. Thanks for making me feel better about living in a metropolis. :-)

— Krishna Kumar V. (@krishna_kumar_v) June 11, 2015

@krishna_kumar_v Aha, glad you like it! And yes, reading Glaeser's work made me feel better about living in cities, and being online, heh.

— Clive Thompson (@pomeranian99) June 11, 2015

We all need to feel better about being online. Such interaction between the author and the reader is proof. :-) https://t.co/SNiYW2f1e7

— Krishna Kumar V. (@krishna_kumar_v) June 11, 2015

The third book, the Lois Lowry classic, is the book of the month this month in the book club. I came to know about it around the time the movie was released. The concept is fascinating, and is one of the more plausible dystopias that you can expect to be reality soon. Plus, the writing is crisp and fast paced. I'm so glad we chose this book for the young-adult fiction category.

(PS: I realized that fiction tends to make me sleepy (because of I'm perpetually tired and sleep deprived) whereas non-fiction does not. This is probably the fourth neuroscience-related book that I've picked up in the last year or so.)

Merry Christmas

I can't believe that it's been over 6 months since I last posted a note on this blog. I sincerely apologize. Just so you know, I had my last major bout of depression in early April 2012. Life has almost come around a whole circle in the succeeding 8 months or so. I'm at a very happy place in my life at the moment. Knock on wood!

So what happened in that period? The lack of motivation to share thoughts, which comes bundled with the package of depression in the brains of people like me, was the reason in the first three months. I cheated. I mean I lied, or, maybe I should say, I didn't come clean with the truth, in the last few posts. This was when I was really struggling to comprehend what was happening to me.

Supposedly, I was happy. I was in a promising relationship, had ongoing projects with three bands, one one of which looked like it would fulfill my dream of cutting an album, and my work-life was going smoothly. From out of nowhere, it hit me. I fell flat on my face and the people closest to me chose to give up on me. Within no time, I was dumped my my lover, rejected by one band, kicked out of another, and stranded by the third.

I was dazed and confused but I managed to not crack down under adversity, thanks to some excellent friends, who stood by me and saw me through, and of course, to my new shrink. Thank you, Billiards, for spending so much time with me on Skype virtually every night for many months. Thank you, Sujit, for helping me find a new shrink, which made me turn the corner. Thank you, my work colleagues, for providing me with the wonderful environment where I spend most of my awake hours. Finally, thank you Mr. Psychiatrist, without whom, wouldn't have known what it is like to be really happy.

The new shrink, almost magically, brought in a radical transition by switching me to a new medication and guiding me to cognitive therapy. He suggested that I should be weaned off of the previous psychoactive cocktail (low-dose combination therapy with escitalopram, clonazepam, and haloperidol) and started me on bupropion. Along with that, he guided me to http://depressioncenter.net, which gave me the insight about cognitive therapy - I meticulously maintained a mood diary for about a month, which enabled me to find out what were the real triggers, and thereby find the root cause of my negative thought cycles.

Sometime in late July or early August, I started enjoying life like I have never before. I guess I had more time for myself with most of my responsibilities as a musician, apart from my that as a solo performer, having vacated my life, and I started watching, following, and reading stuff that interested me and I started looking forward to spending time by myself. I restarted socializing - dating, drinking out, going for movies, etc. I also was able to get rid of my guilt to spend money for myself for entertainment and leisure. By September, I was dead sure - the period comprising the last three months or so was the happiest that I had ever been.

Then, in October, out of nowhere, I met three interesting men - all three attractive, single (well, technically, at least), and interested in me. All three are so different and yet seemed to offer me something that I had never experienced in Mumbai - dating. Although I'm good friends with all of them, I have spent most of the last two months with one of them - Jay - and it has just been a wonderful experience.

Thus, on the eve of Christmas, I sit by myself, content and happy, albeit missing Jay, hoping to spend the New Year's eve with him.

Merry Christmas.

Stay calm and hug a bear. Trust me, that works.

It was showing on my face

When I got back to work after the long weekend, happiness was apparently evident on my face. Everyone was asking me questions about how Joe was, how things were etc. Of course, I had a lot of work, and I couldn’t explain everything to them. But still, I’m sure they understood that I was very happy.

Yes, I’m happy. Very happy.

Wonderful Vinokur

Today, received this beautiful note from Vinokur, my ex-boyfriend. Needless to say, he made me happy like no other man has ever has, or perhaps can.

I think my ex, Kris, who lives in Mumbai, loved me more than any lover I've ever had. In fact, I think he still does. He's a wonderful person and I suspect you'd agree. Although he's a Hindu by birth and was named for Lord Krishna, he's an atheist now. He's a very fine rock musician.

Thank you, Vinokur!

Happiness, Beauty, Creativity, Apprehension

Happiness lies in what's inside of you
You need not search for it, else you may fail
Happiness lies in what you choose to be
You need not search for it, for once let it grow

Beauty lies in what's inside of you
You need not look for it, it's in your mind
Beauty lies in what you choose to see
You need not look for it, it's there to be seen

Creativity lies in what's inside of you
You don't search for it, it's in yourself
Creativity lies in what you choose to make
You don't search for it, it's already there inside

Apprehension lies in what's inside you
You need not hide it, it's in your mind
Apprehension lies in what you choose to be blind to
You need to hide it, otherwise it grows inside

'Goosebumps' moment

Music makes me happy. Very happy. That is the main reason why I’m on a sabbatical from surgery, pursuing a career in music which seems rather optimistic and utopian. There are occasions during which I get pleasantly reminded of the reason behind this sudden diversion in the career path. Live performances to a packed audience, a studio/recording session where everything seems to ‘click,’ a brilliant songwriting moment etc.

Rather more uncommon, however, is the goosebumps experience during a jam session with a band when you get everything right – when you can’t quite believe that the music that you are hearing is being performed by a bunch of people that includes yourself. When that happens, it’s like an orgasm with a loved one (I’m not talking about sex with a random person, mind you).

Yesterday, one such moment happened. It was with my new band Bad Influence. We were auditioning my friend Mik for the drummer’s slot. Mik and I are friends through our freelancing work with the band Pralay. On our menu was the song ‘Sober’ by Tool. It is a relatively difficult song for a drummer, which our previous drummer wasn’t quite able to ‘play.’ Mik arrived, played, and conquered! It sounded simply amazing!

When I left the jam room, I had a big fat smile on my face. Dear world, this is why I’m doing what I’m doing. :-)

I have been promoted!

Yay! I’m so excited to announce this to the world! It’s been a year and half since I started working as an academic editor in the wonderful company called Crimson Interactive. I have been given an ‘out-of-line’ promotion to become a Senior Research Editor. This brings me a lot of pleasure to announce this on my blog.

My bosses—at least one of whom reads this blog at least occasionally—wer extremely happy to see me successful manage and balance my two (or is it three now?) lives and emerge successful in at least one of them—in editing, that is.

Noise Market might not be turning heads as much as expected, and Shoonyas never took off from being a good band which plays within town to something else—of course, how could I forget not to mention my recent break up with Vinokur and the pain that it brought me—at least, my editing career is going places!

This promotion has given me a lot of hope and inspiration to achieve even more in my life. I so feel like saying the clichéd line of “with power comes responsibility” and killing it and myself in the process. But I’m not going to. This makes me feel a stronger person and helps me believe in my abilities.