Showing posts with label GayBombay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label GayBombay. Show all posts

To be gay in India

Someone started a hashtag on Twitter #ToBeGayinIndia. I don’t quite know what was the motive behind it. I bet it was something negative –something about the hardships that gay/lesbian/transgender people face being out in public in India.

Having been out for about 15 years now, in varying levels of ‘outness’, with the present level being completely out, I think that India (Kerala + Mumbai) is very gay friendly. It’s just that people don’t realize it. That’s the irony in it. People just think that India isn’t all that friendly and they choose to stay in closets of relative sizes.

I have had practically no bad experiences having been gay in India, except for perhaps finding an apartment to live with another man in an apartment (when Vinokur came down in 2008). Other than, touch wood, it’s been a wonderful 15 years of being out in India.

Look at me – I am out in all facets of my life, out on all social networks, have an active blog, and have a very promising gay social life, which unfortunately I don’t participate much in. The only bad thing is that, because of the problem that I mentioned above, I haven’t found a good partner for me from India.

This problem would be solved if people started embracing  themselves instead of blaming the society for not embracing them. As simple as that!

The Banana Bar experience

After many months, I ventured out to the open - to the world of socializing in gay-friendly venues. As usual, my friend Vik, who organizes a monthly party at the Banana Bar, sent me an SMS invite. I politely responded saying that I had a rehearsal and hence could not attend. Vik playfully replied saying that I could make it after the rehearsal. Honestly, I was not expecting any reply, certainly not such a spontaneous one.

Suddenly, I felt like taking the plunge. I asked him if he could arrange some daddies for me. He replied saying that some older men are always there at the party. My curiosity was completely aroused - a new venue and the prospect of using my highly polished skills of flirting were too tempting. But I still did not have a date. I tried asking my dear friend Shruts, but she wasn't sure of making it.

I decided to delay the decision until after the rehearsal, which was a boring affair without the drummer. I messaged Shruts to ask if she was making it while waiting for her reply decided to head to the party. Sharing the share rickshaw to Malad station with three other smelly men was the worst part of the evening and made me wonder if I was smelling alright - remember that I was going to party not dressed appropriately after 12 hours of work + rehearsals.

I reached the venue relatively late and was pleased to see Vik come up to me to greet me as I placed an order for a beer. He said I looked more like 'Krishna' because I was dressed in a kurta and had my hair tied up in a ponytail. I replied saying that I was 'Kris' tonight and let my hair loose.

Soon I spotted a couple of friends at the terrace and I walked across the dance floor to meet them. On the way, I ran into a friend who had a very special message for me - I can't divulge the information now, wait for it! Then, the first surprise of the evening came to hug me. Sandy, my friend, whose Dad had rented his apartment to me and Vinokur when he visited me, was there to celebrate her wonderful sister Susie's birthday!

I spent about half an hour catching up with Sandy, Susie, and their gang of friends. Sandy and I go back 5 years, back when I was jamming with Xander and S - that long back, yes! We were so happy to catch up with each other. We reminisced the wonderful days when we would jam with me on the guitar and Sandy on vocals - we used to cover Jason Wade from Lifehouse then!

After that, I set out on my Daddy hunt. I went back to Vik and asked him he had seen any come in. He said he had spotted a few but was not sure where they were. I looked around and all I could see was the one guy that I had already met at a personals site a few months back. But he was busy with his friends.

Thankfully, they were showing the highlights of the Test match between India and South Africa on a big screen. I grabbed another beer and started watching the match. And then, all of a sudden, entered a white daddy with his relatively older-looking Indian friend.

It didn't take me much long me to go over to him and start a conversation. And he turned out to be a great guy! So, Vik kept his promise! And I met a lot of my friends. All in all, it was fun. Looking forward to being there, next time around, hopefully with Shruts!

As for the environment and the ambience, I liked the place better than 'Karma' or 'Let's Scream', where GayBombay parties usually take place. The terrace is a welcome relief to people like me who hate dancing and love conversations. Plus, this place is visited by a bunch of very sexy lesbian girls! So, thumbs up for Banana Bar!

It's happening!

I just read about this on the GayBombay yahoo group. A couple of days before, in the Bandra GB Sunday meet, someone jokingly said that the Section 377 was seeing its last days. Maybe it's not a joke anymore. Check out what the Prime Minister of India and a senior minister from the Indian cabinet had to say during a press conference.
"This calls for support for minority communities affected by HIV/AIDS, including homosexuals, and says that legal barriers that prevent services reaching them should go." - Dr. Manmohan Singh, Prime Minister of India

"Section 377 needs to go. This is something we really need to move forward on." - Minister of State Oscar Fernandes

Maybe, just maybe, AV and I can be safely settled in India in the future!

Engayging Life has moved to WordPress

Engayging Life has fully moved to WordPress

Yes, I am alive and I'm still blogging. Regularly. But on WordPress because offers an easier workflow for me. Here is a selection of wh...