Long-distance cross pollination

What's the most important quality that I have? Not a difficult question for me - the ability to make people laugh/smile/feel good about themselves. Vinokur has helped me hone my skills in this department. Humor comes naturally to him too. His brand of humor, which revolves around the skill to surprise people with audacity and innuendos, has seemingly seeped into me as well!

Not just humor - almost the entire psyche, including the positives and negatives, (positives way way more, of course) and negatives, appears to have somehow been injected into me. We think alike, we love alike, we fear alike, and we analyze alike. We complete each others sentences, know each others triggers, are aware of each others sensitivities, and can see and feel the other's mind. Our common friends say that we 'sound' alike in the way we present our thoughts - I guess lexicon transfer is also involved.

I wonder if such 'psychic' transference commonly occurs in intimate emotional relationships. If yes, is it good enough to be seeking - and if not, is this craziness?

For those unaware, such similarities have grown despite a tumultuous long-distance relationship! I wonder what would have happened had I and Vinokur been living together? Would the similarities have been even more evident? Would our omeletees taste the same? Or would we have had lesser cross-pollination of ideation and behavior?

Thank you - I am back

The winter might be wreaking havoc up north and in the West; I too experienced its bite when Shor Bazaar went up to Gulmarg to perform for the New Year's bash arranged by the J&K government to usher in the decade of snow tourism, but the hell-freeze capturing my mind seems to be thawing. It's interesting to note that the pure whiteness and sheer beauty of the virgin snow up on the slopes exists almost symbiotically with the unyielding bitterness of the cold. When I was up there, I wished if my mind were wiped clean off all what's done and those not won, of all the pain and those not gained, of all what's lost and those who caused.

I have survived once more, almost by a miracle thanks to the one and only soul who stood by me all along, albeit half the world away, the two women who took care of me gastronomically, a set of seven musicians in two bands who were generous enough to bear with my thymic chorea (out for which two, you and you, who have helped me the most), and a generous set of friends who have reached out with their heart more than once, so touchingly, and finally, a wonderful set of colleagues who have adjusted to me like how glove adjusts to a surgeon's hand. I must not forget to thank my shrink (Dear. R) who prescribed an SSRI, an anxiolytic, and anantipschyotic that are making me stay mellow and warm.

This year has begun wonderfully well. I have renewed hope. I truly hope that I have turned the biggest corner of my life and am running away from the past! For all of who who have helped me, thank you! I wish you a wonderful and happy new year!

Primitive senses and ment-o-portation

When I did my medical school, I was engrossed with the senses that advanced/evolved organisms had. The five major senses which were all neatly packaged within our own heads were classified in the order of advancement. Vision/Sight ruled above the other four (smell a. k. a olfaction, sound a. k. a. audition, taste a. k. a. gestation and balance and equilibrium) so much so that the others were considered as primitive senses.

I have had my own set of (different) views as I was interested very much in cats and other mammals. Such beings depend on their ‘primitive’ senses far more than us. I think it is easy to understand why someone would become fascinated by this fact. I mean, look at the graceful yet brutal way in which the bigger cats hunt down prey. It fits in so well with your sense of sexuality and pleasure, doesn’t it? There have been theories (debatable) propagated which link up olfaction, sex and emotions.

I think I digressed a bit. The reason why I am posting about this rather unlikely topic is because of something that happens to me every day; the memories associated with my primitive senses; especially, the olfactory memory and auditory memory. Getting confused? Here’s an example.

I was watching VH1 today evening and I watched a video from the mid ‘90s by Aerosmith called ‘I don’t want to miss a thing’. I was suddenly transported back to my first year of medical school. For a few seconds, without me realizing, I felt like back then. Carefree, naïve and worry-less, I felt like running down the stairs at my home and going out to my friend R. B.’s apartment for an all encompassing talk about what came to our minds. It is not just memories. It’s more like ment-o-portation (noun: an act of being moved to a state of a different set of feelings, usually in the past, totally unrelated to the present feelings; mental tele-portation; etymology: Engayging Life, the blog).

Stronger, though, is my olfactory memory. And it is, for all your kinky ones, associated with sex. (At least, my digression makes sense now.) I can feel the touch of my partners if I smell their perfumes, deodorants, aftershaves or a simple talcum powder! It is so unreal and it freaks me out. And to make it even juicier, I have these things with me always so that I can get some ‘kick’ out of it every now and then.

Funnily, I don’t have Vinokur’s. I have perfumes that he’s gifted me. But I don’t have what he used to wear which, as I realized right now, is something that I can easily buy to complete the little inadequacy. And as a tip, such olfactory materials help to lighten the heavy-workload of a long distance relationship. In fact, one of the commonest tips to maintain such a relationship is to send scented postcards and perfumes.