Oct 31, 2005

The day before

The day before I joined my is turning out to be a dull day. Nothing much to do. But a fear of novelty overhanging. I guess that is there in all facets of life. I'm just getting really worried about a senior who is known to physically abuse his juniors. I'm under him for the next six months. Naturally, I should feel scared.

After joining this unit, I'll have more days in the OT. That means less free time to even go out and pay my bills. I hope I can manage somehow.

October's so cool

There is something about October in Mumbai that is so very cool. Cool as in literally cool as well as the slang cool. The shades of sun at dawn and dusk are just lovely. The air is fresh. Not too much of heat as comparted to yesteryears. I feel very happy to even walk around in the wards. It is just on the chillier side which is the only bad aspect from my point of view. I'm so thin and scrawny, I can't stand low temperature.

Oct 30, 2005

Change of units

Today was a busy day with taking over from my next unit mates. Got some free time in the afternoon and went out and had a lunch at McDonalds in the mall. Then I went to Xanders. I couldn’t enjoy playing music as usual. Because of the fact that my bass guitar’s one pick was not working. I want to get it repaired soon.

Oct 29, 2005

JAK's buy

I must have mentioned sometime back about JAK, a fellow resident in Anaesthesia who is from my home state. He was my only hope of using my mother tongue in this hospital. Therefore, I had expected our friendship to blossom. The first few days when we had to stay at Xander’s changed all that. I and Xander were irritated by JAK’s various habits and behavioural pattern. Nothing all that bad. Just irritating stuff.

One of the habits which I really hated was the habit of keeping tabs of his spendings on his laptop computer. That too upto paise. Otherwise, he was very analytical in his spending practices. He’s also fond of good gadgets.

Recently he bought a Nokia 6620. He had showed it to me a few weeks back. I didn’t think highly of it. Just an expensive phone.

Yesterday night, he came with that mobile for doing something for a patient in the ward. He said that he’d taken GPRS and it was so much of fun.

In about 20 minutes time, I checked the phone and GPRS stuff and found that it was too good. I could read tabs, check mail, maybe even blog had I got such a phone. WOW!

Two things are highlighted here. One is the fact that JAK is a very intelligent objective buyer. Secondly, such a purchase could change my life. But how do I do that?

Oct 28, 2005


There is this colleague of mine who is very interested in women. He always talks about having sex and women with me. When I appear disinterested he is sort of pissed. Today, as we were having food out, he was commenting on the hot shapes. After about five minutes hoping for a response from my side he asked me ‘Kris, are your testosterone levels low? I couldn’t help but smile and appear like I am staring at someone’s breast.

Oct 27, 2005

Touching up

I want to assure you guys that whatever I did in the morning today, was purely accidental. I was very sleepy when I went to the Operation Theatre to give the list of patients to be shifted. I didn't notice that the head sister, a relatively hot woman (in the view point of straight guys) was standing close. When I went to grab at a piece of paper at the desk, my hand accidentally hit this sister's butt. She was startled and I said sorry. She asked me to never do it again!

The servants (all male) totally enjoyed this. I did it as well. Well, don't misunderstand me. I enjoyed it because I made some hot servants think dirty. I was so aroused by activating dirty sexual thoughts into them that I was erect most of the time in the OT under scrubs

I'm really unbelievable.

Oct 26, 2005

A gift from an MR

Although I am sort of against the MR's (Medical Representatives) offers and gifts, I had to accept this huge gift of a heater cum oven. I'm planning to send it to Mom as a belated birthday present. That should make her extremely happy. If I don't manage to do that, Xander will be happy to have it at the apartment as well.

Oct 25, 2005

Not finding time

However less busy I'm, I'm not getting time to call my friends and family. Sometimes, I forget it completely. I don't know what I should be doing about this. The fact that I'm going to be busier scares me. Maybe I'll lose all contacts with my friends in the coming 6 months. Come on, that is so scary!

Oct 24, 2005

Sleepy and tired

Whenever I decide to devote some time to my private life, I end up screwing my professional life. Yeah, the sleeplessness had remarkable and drastic effects at the emergency. I was so sleepy that my seniors gave me firing. What should I have done? Not go to Xander's?

Monday night at the apartment

The guilty conscience was ripping me apart. Add to it a short message service message (looks weird ain't it - I meant an SMS message) from Xander saying 'Kris, it's been a while... and we're supposed to be in a band' which made me feel extremely sorry for the decision I made on Saturday. What did I do? I got out of the hospital around 11. At home, I found Xander and P. lounging with Rum and guitars. Xander was not drunk. Therefore, we played a lot of tunes and we sounded great. Expecially 'Rooster' and 'Sludge Factory' by Alice In Chains.

But we got loud and one of the irritating neigbhors gave us a warning to stop playing loud. Xander got very pissed. Then we talked about various issues including my problems with my parents and family. After that he asked me a strange question which still bothers me 'Kay, In a love relationship, when do you decide that it is enough?'

After that, I came back at around 3 in the morning. I have to do lots of work tomorrow baby. And I'll be sleepy throughout emergency.

Oct 23, 2005

Goody Sunday

After a heavy emergency on Sunday, I felt guilty of one single thing. Yesterday night, I was free by about 10.30 pm. I could have gone to the apartment to meet Xander. Then I thought that I would sleep and be fresh for the emergency. I did that and for the first time in my residency life, had about 8 hours of continuous sleep. I felt wonderful throughout the day and had a great time in the Emergency. I felt that I was back to my best in my professional career.

Oct 22, 2005

Busy weekend ahead

This weekend's going to be busy with the double emergency. With Sunday and Tuesday being emergencies, I won't get time to do anything. I want to meet Xander sometime. I hope I can make it today evening.

Oct 21, 2005

A party

Not often has this occured. In fact, it is wrong. It is NEVER. I'm talking about dancing. But I did this. I danced at a 'party' thrown in by some Medical Representative. It was at a bar in Dadar. I danced to remixes in Indipop and Bollywood tunes. I had to join because of peer pressure and the coaxing of seniors. I know that I was very clumsy. But I sort of enjoyed it. In the end I wanted to learn a few good steps etc. Besides that, I drank 1 and half pint of beer and was okay after that!

Oct 20, 2005

Popularity Vs. Alcoholism

I must have typed in somewhere that I was not being very popular among servants in the past. But recently, I have found that its exactly opposite. One reason is that I'm talkative. I talk a lot. Why? Just like that is a reason. Another one being the fact that I like hanging around with men. I'm gay remember. This popularity certainly increases when I talk about taking beer/alcohol or talking about sex. Now, I talk freely about being a beeraholic. And they like me more!

Oct 18, 2005

Back into the groove

It didn't take much of time to get back into the groove. I didn't miss being at home. I just missed my friends. Why do I keep on reiterating this fact? I guess my friends are the most important people in my life.

Future's even busier

I am glad to announce that I've been posted (from next month beginning) to the best unit in my hospital. This basically means that my work has generally been appreciated and is considered to be good enough to be given posting there. That way, I've fulfilled my ambition. But the bad part of the deal is that I'll be totally over-worked there. I don't think I'll ever time to sit and blog. Also, no time for jamming or hanging out.

So friends, please co-operate. Its just six months. I'll blog as often as I can.

Shopping and sweets.

I really thought that the sweets that my Mom sent along with me were inappropriate for the purpose. But still, I distributed them. But before that, I shopped around for plastic containers for dispensing the sweets. In that process, I spent a lot of time at the Big Bazaar. It was fun. Then, I went to the wards and distributed the stuff. Most of the people thought that my 'aravanappayasam' (A type of payasam ie. kheer made with jaggery, sugar, gheer, rice etc) was inebriating.

After that, I cleaned up my room with the help of my room mate. Loads of shit out. After that, I'm so happy to sleep.

Oct 16, 2005

Back in Mumbai

It does feel different after the trip. The difference is a pleasant one. But things are definitely dirtier, smellier and sweatier in Mumbai. But it is fun! That's all I can say about this city which is basically rotting with its infrastructure but at the same time promising a better life to all its inhabitants.

Zen Micro gives true company

Although my travel times were not lengthy, I was given a great time by my Zen Micro which now features a lot more of Nu Rock! I'm starting to re-live those Limp Bizkit days of Crazy tones on the guitar with hanging notes and stuff. 'Show Me What You Got' is the typical meaningless Limp Bizkit song which is so interesting to listen to.

Plus, now that I have lots of Seether, I think they are a hell of a band. Great riffing. Great song construction etc. Highly listenable.

4 1/2 movies in a week

The time I was in my home town, I watched 4 movies in the theatre. The two Hindi movies 'Yahaan' and 'Kal - Yesterday & Tomorrow' were the best of the lot.

'Yahaan' is a wonderfully cinematographed movie based in Kashmir. It basically gives a good picture about what's happening in the terrorist infested society there. I and Ray gave 3.5 out of 5 for the movie.

'Kal - Yesterday & Tomorrow' is revolting in the way it is taken. The screenplay is minimal but the score and the visuals are filling. It is a crime thriller based in Mumbai coroporate circles. Nice concept. I gave it 3.5 again but Ray gave it 4.

'Grudge' was a total disappointment in every which way you looked at it. The only stand out good feature was the way the credits were displayed up-front; stuff written with ink in an aquatic environ - reminded me of Jellyfishes and Spongebob Squarepants. 2 out of 5

'Nerariyan - CBI' was the worst out of the lot. Immensely boring in all aspects. It should ideally be deleted from human memory as its prequels are far more entertaining. 1.5 out of 5.

Apart from these, I was able to watch half of the movie '2001: A Space Odyssey'. It looked 5 star. But disappointingly, the pirated DVD let me down.

Oct 15, 2005

Back with my friends

These last few days, I've been doing all the things that I love to do. Hanging out with Chuck, going to movies with Ray, talking with Dr. R etc. The only problem is that I can't find time to do anything else. I don't have time for my family or myself.

As I've mentioned, I've come here to celebrate my Mom's 60th birthday. In my family, this thing is celebrated with so much of religious functions and stuff that I find it extremely boring. Therefore, whenever I possibly could, I sneaked out and hung out with my friends.

Naturally, my family is not happy with me. But the prospect of explaining to all of my uncles and aunts as to why I'm like how I'm is driving me crazy and driving me away from them.

Oct 14, 2005

Why are hot Daddies always cool?

I have found this strange correlation between two of my desires. I desire to have hot looking Daddies. I desire to have a friendship with good persons. This is all good and fine.

One of my uncles is extremely hot and is one of the best persons who I have met. He's understanding and pleasant. He's one of the very few in my family who understand my psychology. I have not yet come out to him.

Now, the fact is that I'm attracted to him. Sexually or as a good person I don't know.

This is not the only case. I have observed that older men who look the part are generally great personalities. That applies to other uncles in my family as well.

I just want to know why it is like that?

Oct 13, 2005

At home when friends visited

I had invited a few of my friends over for a small party on the occasion of my Mom's birthday. There was a lot of confusion and mismanagement on the serving-food part o it. But that is fine cuz I really enjoyed being with my friends.

Amongst my closest friends, all except Dr. R. came. I didn't force him to come because he would have been out-of-place as all other friends of mine knew each other and stuff.

May had a surprising and shocking news for me. She said that she didn't like the idea of me mentioning her as my 'GF'. She seemed very upset with that. I tried explaining that it was essential for my survival in my hospital. Finally, she sort of reconciled. She even apologized for her outburst later on in an e-mail.

Oct 12, 2005

Back with Mr. Lion

WOW! Another wonderful wonderful 'discussion' materialized in the same hotel where I lost my 'virginity'. This time I was far more relaxed. Apart from the sex we had, there was this nice time when we spent hugging each other in the bed while talking about stuff.

Another prominent development during today's meeting is that I found myself good in deep-throating as well. Yeah, and I'm happy about it!

Booker prize

I'm so lost in myself that I forgot to even mention the booker prize for once in my blog. I think that must be due to the fact that I have very little time to even think about books in Mumbai.

Anyway, this year's Man Booker Prize went to John Banville's novel 'The Sea'

I don't know a thing about this novel or this guy. But this one's on my must-read list. That is along with Rushdie's 'Shalimar the Clown' and Seth's 'Two Lives'. SO very much is being written in the Indian press about the the two.

Horniness levels

I think I'm at my horniest in my life. I am so so horny that I want a piece of any good looking man that I see on the road.

The one and only solution was Mr. Lion - and I have arranged for a meeting. That's coming up in an hour or so.

Be back with hot updates!

Oct 11, 2005

A couple of movies

You know, I have told about the state of affairs here. The family concept is so weak in my system. All I need from them is money I feel. Otherwise, what is the point?

Today as well, I did what I wanted and didn't do anything what a normal family would cherish from a son who has come back after six months. I went to a movie with Ray in the night. This is after the late night movie that I went for yesterday. The only respite being the fact that my sister and brother in law were around with me.

I had hoped to talk to Ray in detail. But that didn't work out. We hope to do it later tomorrow.

Catching up with everyone

The disappointment with my sister does seem to linger on as my experiences with my close friends were not as I expected. Ray was busy at the hospital as it was his emergency. Dr. R. was back at home and is expected to come in a couple of days. Chuck was busy with his wife. He couldn't find time on the phone. And finally when I went to Chuck's place the conversation was indeed superficial. It couldn't touch the heartening depths that we used to reach.

But hey, wasn't this expected? Well, umm... Yeah, I'd have to guess. But still, I want more. I need more.

My life in Mumbai was the toughest question to answer. And I did my very best to wrap it up in a glittering red paper with a silver ribbon and present it to my friends. That wasn't as tough as I had expected it to be.

I didn't even try to spend time with my family. Instead, I was more interested in the gay porn, downloadable music and other things that the internet had to offer. That is so mean.

What a bitch that I actually am?

Action online after so long

I think I'm an internet addict. As soon as I came home, I logged on to the internet and started doing all those things that I have been missing. Downloading music, browsing websites, watching gay porn. Also I jacked off watching my friend Curt from across the seas. Wow, what an experience. The only problem is that now I'm worried if I'll have enough firepower left to impress Mr. Lion when we might meet later on in the day. But the reply hasn't come yet. Therefore it is okay I suppose.

Oct 10, 2005

A day in a train

A full day in a train with not so interesting people can be boring. It would have been had it not been for my mp3 player. Apart from that I slept for about 10 hours in the train in day time. That's enough of catch up time for anyone. Also, I ate tons of food. Not because it was so tasty, but because I had so much of free time to eat.

But the disappointing aspect of the journey is that I failed to connect with my sister once again. This is probably the third or fourth time after her marriage that I have tried and failed to connect in the way we used to. I think it is time to shove the past into a shelf and get on with the fact that my sister is no more my good friend.

Oct 9, 2005

The difference between

Switching from one Metro to another is not something which I do regularly. This is actually the first time I did that. But I could still feel the perceptible difference between the styles of the two. Mumbai - although the dirtier and disorganized of the two, is still the better one. I don't know how or why. I don't think I need to answer that question because it is purely inconsequential.

Oct 8, 2005

The flight

The message that I got from Ray just before I got on the plane read like this. 'Always keep your eyes open. You don't know when you end up striking gold'. In the context of men; the universal dictum of looking out for hot men, this held true. Although not as aggressive as him when it comes to hitting on a hot stranger, I did as he told. But the insomnia in the days preceding did dampen things a bit. But there was this hot hot co-pilot who explained about the security steps before the plane took off. Whoa, I felt so aroused when he demonstrated how to blow into the life-support bag.

From the Mumbai airport

This series of updates is from the Domestic Terminal of Mumbai airport while I'm waiting for my flight which is already delayed by half an hour. It is a blessing to access the internet when I had nothing else to do! I'm very happy also cuz I'm meeting my sister later on in the night. So long since we met!

Coming up later - Chuck, Ray, Dr. K and Mr. Lion etc. WHOA!

Oct 7, 2005


Xander just called in to say that he can't get the I Pod Nano as promised. He added that we'd have to pay approximately 16, 000 for each set. That is after all the taxes and shit of getting it imported from Singapore.

This is so fucken disappointing. I'm doing so well with Zen Micro that I can't wait to get hands on something even more smaller and lighter. I guess I'm selfish, but still, I want a Nano!

Oct 6, 2005

Handing over money

Today, I borrowed Rs. 6, 000 from a friend of mine on the pretext of paying rent for my apartment. Actually, I had taken it for my I Pod Nano. I got money from May's Dad as well for her I Pod Nano. With these, I went and met Xander. He was very happy to see me. I was happy too. He wants Jackfruit chips when I come back from my home.

Oct 5, 2005

Another new surgery

Yesterday, I did a surgery after a long long time. And again, it felt good! Now, I think I'm back in the groove. That means so much to me. I'm very happy. The X-rays have come out to be excellent. I have this knack of doing surgeries whose X-rays come to be better than expected.

On that note, my professor, who's a chooth (meaning Focker) (I guess you read about the woman who got shoved out of an aeroplane because she wore a T-shirt with pictures of W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Condolezza Rice and the caption 'Meet the Fuckers'), had the opinion that if you have to succeed in professional orthopaedics, you should know how to have good X-rays. That's cuz of a simple reason. People evaluate you on the basis of performance. In the case of Orthopaedician, it is based on how good the X-rays are.

At least, I have some quality within myself to make myself succeed in my professional career!/p>

Oct 4, 2005


I don't know if I have mentioned about this website in my blog. I guess I haven't. It is Gigpad.comf and it gives us information about the Indian rock scene. I ran across it about 4 months back. I think Xander suggested that I should try it. I have become a big fan of the site.

Currently, it is being updated. That is great news. A site which is already very good and informative getting upgraded sound awesome. I wanted to read up on reviews and message board posts on I Rock XX. Because of the udpates, there was this one report; by some Anuj Gupta (I surely must have seen him in at I Rock). What struck me first was that it looked so much like the wrestling event reviews in the Pro Wrestling sites. The language, the style, the colors; everything!

I guess Alternative Rock/Metal scene is so associated with Professional Wrestling that even the websites look the same.

Oct 3, 2005

Medicis rocks

I bought this Medicis CD from the CounterCulture stall at I Rock. Wow, they absolutely rock! They sound almost like any other Althernative Rock Metal band from abroad. Lovely vocals, riffs and recordings! And now I know why - they are basically french in origin!

Sorted music in Zen Micro

I'm listening to my Zen Micro having all of my favorite song sorted out in a huge playlist. It sounds so cool! I really really recommend anyone interested in music to try and buy an mp3 player and start grooving!

I Rock Day XX - Day 2

I finally got Xander back on his feet with all the pills that I could lay my hands upon and excessive coaxing that I could muster up. He agreed to come to the gig on day 2. This day we started out in a cab which. It felt like eons to reach to the show (Lesson No. 1 in Mumbai - if you know how to get in and out of Suburban Trains, never ever use road to travel).

When we reached bands had already started playing. The out of the new bands, Demonic Resurrection and PDV sounded out of the world. Although I must admit that PDV's vocalist left a lot to be desired as compared to the instrumentalists, their bass and drums sounded awesome. I was so impressed that I went and talked to the bassist and the drummer. Interestingly enough, the drummer also plays in three other bands! Whoa!

Xander, I came to know, was not interested in laying the foundations for contacts in the Mumbai rock circuit. He thinks that we are too early to do this. But I think that it is worth it.

I went out to eat lovely pork and lamb with Xander at his favoritest restaurant in Mumbai - Oasis (Andheri). On the way back I did something that I have always dreamed of doing - ridiing in a car listening to good music. Of course, I was in a cab and we had Go 92.5 FM dishing out hit after hit.

Nice day. First of all, I got another off day from hospital. I'm so darned lucky! Then I hung out with Xander and played some riffs. Then I Rock XX. And then the food. And then the ride back home! Fundastic!

I came back to the hospital late. I could'nt sleep cuz of bedbugs, newspapers and other reasons. I'm going to have to find some time to sleep sometime later today.

Oct 2, 2005

Nano and the muddle of finances

Xander gave me a deal which is hard to ignore. In fact it is so appealing that I'm going to go for it. He'll get I Pod Nano's at Rs. 6500 a piece. Wow! I was so happy to hear that. But then disappointed climbed on me like a shadow from behind. I have to pay for the half yearly rent of the apartment. I have to buy my friends and mom some things when I go back home. And I have to pay for the Nano as well.

Suddenly the harsh realities of life strike me. I might have to cut down on food. And I might have to borrow money from home as well as friends to work things out.

Whatever it is, I want the Nano. I have read reviews and I love my mp3 player (which I'm listening to now) too much. I'll borrow from a friend.

Oct 1, 2005

Hopes and expectations with fear and despair

The title of this posts looks and sound weird. That is because of the emotional rainbow that I went through the whole day.

Hopes and expectations first. Fear and despair next.

    • It typified the period in the early morning when I tried to put in extra effort to be alert in the OT.
    • I felt sleepy again. I got ridiculed again. My guide asked me if I was interested in Orthopaedics at all.

    • During the time period between noon and early afternoon, I hoped to get out early so that I could reach I Rock early.
    • One of my cases got delayed beyond the expectations. Then I was asked to take X-rays for all the patients. All this when everyone around must have known how important it was for me to go to I Rock.

    • When I called Xander to ask if he was coming or not.
    • Xander said that he had work. I even suspected that he was just getting back at the fact that I always act busy.

    • When I finally caught a fast train to Andheri while running about 200 metres through the crowded Dadar station.
    • I couldn't get out at Andheri. I had to go all the way to Borivali, come back, get in a rick, get stuck in a rick and then reach the venue by 8. Late by two hours. But later by an hour as compared to the possibility of getting down at Andheri in town. I missed three news bands in the competition. That included 'Vertigo' which eventually won.<

Whatever it was, I went and stood in the front just next to the barricade and rocked. Most of the show was awesome. Helga's Fun Castle rocked thus reaffirming my earlier views on them. Zero's PSP 12" brought a pre-orgasm to me. Vayu's guitars and the oldie covers rocked as well. I bought some new CDs from Indi Rock bands as well.

But even better was the fact that I went and met the bassist of Zero. He looked genuinely interested in a conversation with me. I got his e-mail ID as well.

Then came the disappointment again. I called up Xander to realize that he is having fever again - must be a Malarial relapse. I went back the hospital to get medications and the paraphernalia for collecting blood samples etc.

I reached our apartment at around 1 AM in the night to find Xander okay. There were Xander's friends as well as his neighbor from his native place. We chatted for a bit. After which, I started the work of getting all the Indi Rock bands on the Zen Micro.