My disenchantment with India

I wrote in my last blog post that my recent trip to the United States of America has changed my perspective about life. I have become a disenchanted Indian.

So apparently I have transformed into a stereotypical Indian who is disenchanted with life in India after visiting the US of A.

— Krishna Kumar V. (@krishna_kumar_v) May 27, 2015

What I mean by the that is that the way things are done in India, especially in Mumbai, don't particularly make sense. Unfortunately, these things universally involve people: people being uncooperative, people yelling at each other, people letting their kids to annoy other people, people not respective personal space, people talking louder than what's necessary.

Sure, when you aren't exposed to this year round, these will seem charming--they become a part of the India experience. That's what movies like Slumdog Millionaire and The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel do to you. Like allergens, anything unacceptable can be tolerated at low doses of exposure.

My close friend Rich, who loves this limited-exposure to India pointed this out. He thinks that Indian New channels, with 5 tickers, 10 people shouting at each other seemingly always, and the assault of colors on our retinae, are able to sufficiently encapsulate this phenomenon. I agree with him.

So the trip hasn't changed my opinion about the reasons underlying this public immorality. I still think people behave they way they behave because they were forced because of other people behaving a certain way. A closed loop, you see. So, technically, you can't blame them. They do what they have learned in their life and they probably haven't exposed to anything different.

What has changed, however, is that, before the trip, I thought that I had to adjust to it and remain relatively unperturbed. You couldn't do much, you see. You need to expose yourself to it if you want to experience life and not live as a hermit.

Now I think it is different. I feel that I'm being unkind and inconsiderate to myself by consciously exposing myself to this and bring the quality of my life down. Yes, I know that I will probably have less of a social life if I follow the strategy. But what I will have left will be more worth the trouble.

But what am I doing to change it? I will communicate my resentment more regularly. Here, I just wrote about it. Yesterday, on my way bag from a weekend at J's home across the bay, I had a conversation where I made sure the people who misbehaved understood that I was talking about them. Maybe Indians still have a certain threshold for shame that I'm able to overcome.

Quality of Life and Friendships

They say travel experiences define you, change you, and give you a new perspective about your life. And I think they are right.

Thanks to my employers, I got the opportunity to be in America for two weeks. I represented my company at a scholarly conference in Philadelphia, which was sandwiched by visits to Washington DC area and New York City.

It was an incredible experience. Friends who were exposed to my constant updates on social media told me that I satisfied about 88% of the criteria of a stereotypical Indian touring the States. And that's not a good thing. :)

Photo: One gets really happy when one sees the best-tasting food on the planet! #patscheesesteaks... http://t.co/0jHjytdKTg

— Krishna Kumar V. (@krishna_kumar_v) May 16, 2015

What they did not infer, however, is the dramatic shift in perspective that I have of life. Living in metropolitan India, especially Mumbai, tends to numb you. Especially if you are--I hate to use this word--"cultured." You are suffocated for time, space, and noise, among other things.

I think I am at a stage in my life when a quieter, less-stressful life may be a good thing. My psychological state make this wish more or less compulsory if I need to have an acceptable quality of life.

This trip also made me understand that friendships, even those I maintain online, are my most prized possessions. After all, friends seem to care about me like no one else ever has.

Quite simply, we should all spend more time with friends, share experiences, learn from each other, and create moments.

(PS: With this post, I hope I haven't climbed up on the criteria list for the Indian stereotype.)