Awkward conversation in the washroom

This is going to be a socially inappropriate post. Maybe even NSFW. But the irony is that the post is about a conversation that I had with a colleague in the washroom at work. Those who don't want to read any further, this is a good time to click out.

So, this evening, around 7 pm, I went to the washroom to pee. My colleague, a smart young man, also happened to need to pee at the same time. So we both stood adjacent to each other at the two urinal stalls. We were talking about a TV show and we carried on, while proceeding with the act of micturition. Everything seems fine, until my friend asks me:

Kris, what are you doing?

What do you mean what?

I mean how are you doing that?

What do you mean?

You are not holding it!

Holding what? Oh, yeah, I don't need to hold it. Why would you need to?

Doesn't it spray all over the place?

No, it doesn't. Even at this age, I'm pretty darned good at it.

[After an awkward smile/grin/laugh, he says]

This is surely an awkward conversation that we shouldn't be having.

I guess!

And I walked out of the washroom and back into the office and everyone lived happily ever after.

(PS: I wasn't aware that men are supposed to do it. Several of my friends apparently use the technique my colleague was suggesting. I still don't see the need.)

Another lesson about friendships

If a person that you love constantly tells you the following – “You will never understand me!” “You never listen to me!” “You never remember anything about me!” - and if that same person gets repeatedly offended by things you say or do, it’s probably better to back off and leave that person alone. At least for quite some time.

The problem, if you can use that word, probably lies with both of you. You may not have the time or patience for taking care of the other person. And/or the other person is not in a position or is incapable of understanding your limitations. Don’t take the brunt of the burden to correct things all by yourself. Efforts have to be bilateral.

It was showing on my face

When I got back to work after the long weekend, happiness was apparently evident on my face. Everyone was asking me questions about how Joe was, how things were etc. Of course, I had a lot of work, and I couldn’t explain everything to them. But still, I’m sure they understood that I was very happy.

Yes, I’m happy. Very happy.

Am I that straight-acting?

Today, at work, a female colleague of mine casually asked me “Are you trying to tell me that you are gay?” I said, “Yes, that’s what I am.”

She said “Is this one of your pranks?”

I said. “No. I’m dead serious about it. Why do you think that I get along with the women in the office so well?”

She said “You gotta be kidding me. I don’t believe it!”

And from then on, I tried to convince her that I was indeed gay. She didn’t buy it.

Am I that straight-looking?

Dostana's negative influence

Yesterday, my colleague MVP and I, both doctors and out gay persons, were doing some work together at the office. As usual, we were teasing and and taunting our colleagues. Then, MVP answered a call during which he talked about meeting 'someone' at Malad station at 7.15 pm. I started pulling his leg by announcing to my other colleagues that MVP was going out on a date tonight and how we should all feel happy for him. We all joined in and started teasing him.

As soon as he hung up, he turned around and told another female colleague of ours 'You are just jealous because you are going to meet your mother-in-law'! Of course, the female colleague denied it saying that she wasn't going to meet her mother-in-law that evening. Apparently, she had other plans. Soon she was on her way out for the day and continuing with our playful banter, we both conveyed our regards to her mother-in-law. She said 'Sure, I'll tell her that two of my gay colleagues said hi to her!'

After she left, MVP told the rest of the colleagues about the story of my colleague's mother-in-law and her concept of homosexuality. Apparently, she had seen the movie 'Dostana', which had led her to believe that homosexuality was just a pretense to take advantage of innocent girls and to grab their attention. We all had a hearty laugh at the end of it all.

However, it struck me as amazing how such Bollywood slapstick comedies featuring stereotypical gay characters can negatively influence people and lead them to having delusions about homosexuality. This is one of the many reasons why gay movies that portray gay/lesbians/transgenders in positive roles should be made in Bollywood. Bollywood's impact is so huge that this is a must to help change the mindset of urban, middle-class India.

So Bollywood, can you please insill some serious sense into these Gujju mother-in-laws please?