My disenchantment with India

I wrote in my last blog post that my recent trip to the United States of America has changed my perspective about life. I have become a disenchanted Indian.

So apparently I have transformed into a stereotypical Indian who is disenchanted with life in India after visiting the US of A.

— Krishna Kumar V. (@krishna_kumar_v) May 27, 2015

What I mean by the that is that the way things are done in India, especially in Mumbai, don't particularly make sense. Unfortunately, these things universally involve people: people being uncooperative, people yelling at each other, people letting their kids to annoy other people, people not respective personal space, people talking louder than what's necessary.

Sure, when you aren't exposed to this year round, these will seem charming--they become a part of the India experience. That's what movies like Slumdog Millionaire and The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel do to you. Like allergens, anything unacceptable can be tolerated at low doses of exposure.

My close friend Rich, who loves this limited-exposure to India pointed this out. He thinks that Indian New channels, with 5 tickers, 10 people shouting at each other seemingly always, and the assault of colors on our retinae, are able to sufficiently encapsulate this phenomenon. I agree with him.

So the trip hasn't changed my opinion about the reasons underlying this public immorality. I still think people behave they way they behave because they were forced because of other people behaving a certain way. A closed loop, you see. So, technically, you can't blame them. They do what they have learned in their life and they probably haven't exposed to anything different.

What has changed, however, is that, before the trip, I thought that I had to adjust to it and remain relatively unperturbed. You couldn't do much, you see. You need to expose yourself to it if you want to experience life and not live as a hermit.

Now I think it is different. I feel that I'm being unkind and inconsiderate to myself by consciously exposing myself to this and bring the quality of my life down. Yes, I know that I will probably have less of a social life if I follow the strategy. But what I will have left will be more worth the trouble.

But what am I doing to change it? I will communicate my resentment more regularly. Here, I just wrote about it. Yesterday, on my way bag from a weekend at J's home across the bay, I had a conversation where I made sure the people who misbehaved understood that I was talking about them. Maybe Indians still have a certain threshold for shame that I'm able to overcome.

Care for some sane opinion?

Unfortunately, it’s the same shit all over again. Television, newspapers, rants, opinions… wait a minute, there is something different this time around. And that is Twitter! With Twitter, you get access to the thoughts of free-thinking individuals which are, trust me, far better than the farce the put on TV these days.

Yes, Mumbai’s resilience needs to be sent back to the cupboard. But if you want to some sane opinion on issues such as this, as well as cricket, from an intelligent Mallu, of course, here’s what you have to follow – @prempanicker on Twitter.

‘Holi’day relapse

I don’t know why I hate it so much. Actually it’s not an ‘it’. It’s more like a group of ‘it’s. All have the tags ‘festival’ and ‘religion’ attached to them. On top of of the charts is ‘Holi’ and close contenders are the ‘Diwali’ and ‘Ganesh’ festivals. I’m sure I have forgotten others but I choose not to remember them because I don’t want to have nightmares. I posted about this issue on my FaceBook status message in the morning and I got a prompt, sarcastic remark.

‘Kris, I can’t believe that you are saying this. You are, after all, part of a band which is called ‘NOISE’ market. Happy happy happy Holi!’

I really don’t see the correlation. Why? Is it because I’m part of a Hindi band? Is it because the band’s name consists of the transliterated ‘NOISE’ word? Is it because I’m gay (and so is this friend who commented) and by being what we are, we are predisposed to liking ‘color’ful, festive things? Or is it because my real name, the God that I am named after, used to play pranks on the gopis during this festival? What is it that makes it necessary for a person like me to like festivals naturally? I don’t see any reason.

Of course, most festivals in India are commemorative of the victory of good over evil, or of gods over demons, or right over wrong. That IS such a noble cause. But that’s just about it. They have been shaped into something really more demonic than holy. Yes, in India, a festival means – loudspeakers and blaring music irrespective of the time of the day (or night) or the location (hospitals eg.), traffic jams due to processions, drunken people dancing to the latest blasphemous Bollywood tune being played on trucks carrying deities. Diwali adds to the mess with people getting the 'license' to cause mini-explosions which are harmful to the ears and minds of humans and animals alike.

‘Holi’ takes it to another level – invasion of personal privacy! People throw colors at each other in the form of powder or fluids without permission or provocation. Each and everyone is supposed to LIKE that and be happy at the end of it all. Hello? Have you heard of something called personal rights? Would you go up to someone and tell them ‘Hey, I thought it would be really cool to use your car as a graffiti canvas. Happy ‘Car Graffiti Day!’ So why are people doing this? If they want to celebrate among themselves, why don’t they stop bothering those people who are not interested in this?

For the last four years since I chose Mumbai as my home, I have been scared and intimidated by this holiday. I’m frightened to go out and be splattered with paint-balls. I don’t think that it’s right. I don’t think it is right for people to do whatever they want to with the excuse a ‘religious festival’. I’m sure there are many more people like me who are just shutting up because they think that it’s immoral to admit they don’t like festivals. Don’t do that. Speak up!

Immodesty is my middle name

At least a few of you who actually bother to visit my blog and to read it regularly (the last time I checked it was 11.64 persons on an average week) might remember that I hinted about something related to being a celebrity. I said I am a micro-celebrity, or better one in the making. And I did leave that clichéd teaser ‘Watch this space tomorrow!’ To only those sincere readers, here is why!

So, I’ve been commenting about Queer Azadi march in many forms of electronic media – GB forums, TOI pages, blogs and some celebrity blogs – to be more specifically, one celebrity blog – Shobhaa De’s blog. I commented on her post about Shabana Azmi and other stars (all who happen to be muslims) finding it hard to get an apartment because of their religion. I had said that I had found it extremely difficult for me and Vinokur to get one in Mumbai and I had to even bring R. along to convince that I was ‘normal’.

And then, I commented about her Queer Azadi post saying that I myself don’t prefer to be a drag. I would instead like to portray the image of a responsible young man who is demanding his human rights to love and to live with his love. Since I’m a frequent commentator on her blog, she has taken pains to chat with me about such topics when she gets time.

Kris hears muttering voices say ”Okay, okay! Big deal, you are getting to chat with a celebrity! Get to the point, dick!”

Day before yesterday afternoon, I got an e-mail from our blogging friend Aham tell me that De has mentioned me in her column 'The Sexes'about the Queer Azadi march published in the Aug 31 edition of The Week magazine. I didn’t believe it first. So I had to confirm it with the horse’s mouth and I was surprised that it actually was about me. I went out and got a copy of the week to confirm my micro-celebrity status. I didn’t post it until now because I couldn’t have given the link to you guys as well. Here’s the link. And here’s the excerpt about me.

"I received emails galore from concerned gay friends who were worried they may have to face stepped-up hostility due to the weekend hoopla. One of them wrote how difficult it was to get a flat in Mumbai (his lover is a gora), till he produced a 'wife' (friendly female colleague). He preferred to lie low while members of his community bounced around in boas, puckered their lips and pouted inanities for the benefit of sensation-seeking journos. He said he felt sad, ashamed and embarrassed. Time to introspect before waving that seven- hued flag again, guys!"

Thank you De!

(Turns around and bows to an entire blog audience of 12.34 people per week.)