Awkward conversation in the washroom

This is going to be a socially inappropriate post. Maybe even NSFW. But the irony is that the post is about a conversation that I had with a colleague in the washroom at work. Those who don't want to read any further, this is a good time to click out.

So, this evening, around 7 pm, I went to the washroom to pee. My colleague, a smart young man, also happened to need to pee at the same time. So we both stood adjacent to each other at the two urinal stalls. We were talking about a TV show and we carried on, while proceeding with the act of micturition. Everything seems fine, until my friend asks me:

Kris, what are you doing?

What do you mean what?

I mean how are you doing that?

What do you mean?

You are not holding it!

Holding what? Oh, yeah, I don't need to hold it. Why would you need to?

Doesn't it spray all over the place?

No, it doesn't. Even at this age, I'm pretty darned good at it.

[After an awkward smile/grin/laugh, he says]

This is surely an awkward conversation that we shouldn't be having.

I guess!

And I walked out of the washroom and back into the office and everyone lived happily ever after.

(PS: I wasn't aware that men are supposed to do it. Several of my friends apparently use the technique my colleague was suggesting. I still don't see the need.)

Hetero-homo-phobia

I was watching the season 3 of Will & Grace on my 'puter the other day and I saw the episode in which Jack unleashes his hetero-homo-phobia. Whaaaa? There is this episode in which Will tries to organize a educational programme against homophobia and discrimination for police men. Through the episode, Jack continuously insults a lesbian couple who volunteer to be themselves in the 'play' that Will writes.

I was amused. Not because of the comedy, but as to why I sort of empathized/related to Jack's views. I'm not saying that I hate lesbians. But I couldn't put my finger on it. Today, I received an e-mail from the GB mailing list which decimated my confusion. It showed a rather lewd picture of a soap dispenser decorated by imagery with someone's hand having the dispensed soap.


How? What? Confused? Well, look I started thinking who could not be amused by this picture. All men, all men who liked men, all women who like men. But not women who like women.

Still don't get it? Penises. Yes, they are not involved in lesbian sex. That's why.