The African void

Three points about Africa:

1. I just read about this on Times Of India - Uganda court scraps new anti-gay law

2. Yesterday, I also heard a BBC anchor from Africa say something in the lines of, "I come from Africa which gets its share of daily doom."

3. After hearing this, it dawned on me that I don't have any friends - online or offline from Africa. I have so many friends from the USA, Canada, UK, Asia, Australia, and even Latin America.

I feel sad and about Africa and ashamed of myself.

Through Love’s Great Power - A Poem by Vikram Seth

Vikram Seth just sent this to the Times of India. It's a poem on the Supreme Court ruling on Section 377, recriminalizing homosexualilty in India.

Through love’s great power to be made whole
In mind and body, heart and soul –
Through freedom to find joy, or be
By dint of joy itself set free
In love and in companionhood:
This is the true and natural good.

To undo justice, and to seek
To quash the rights that guard the weak –
To sneer at love, and wrench apart
The bonds of body, mind and heart
With specious reason and no rhyme:
This is the true unnatural crime.

Vikram Seth

Forward it to those who matter.

http://krishnakumarv.tumblr.com/post/74921327602/through-loves-great-power-through-loves-great

Imran Khan's vs. homophobia - thanks to NH7.in

Thanks to Upworthy for this article, and NH7.in and Imran Khan for this project.

DNA article

A post from my blog got published in today’s DNA. I’m happy and proud. Here’s the link to the original post.

Mr. Azad–really, really?

I can’t quite believe that Mr. Ghulam Nabi Azad said it. The whole world heard and is making fun of India. And the ministry. The Health Minister said these words “Men having sex with men is a disease!”

Shallow, callous, stupid, archaic, unscientific… I’ll run out of adjectives to describe the statement. I’m ashamed and appalled. I don’t know how I can show my face around.

Strangely, this coincides with my 4th anniversary of meeting Vinokur. Happy anniversary of friendship, Vinokur!

To be gay in India

Someone started a hashtag on Twitter #ToBeGayinIndia. I don’t quite know what was the motive behind it. I bet it was something negative –something about the hardships that gay/lesbian/transgender people face being out in public in India.

Having been out for about 15 years now, in varying levels of ‘outness’, with the present level being completely out, I think that India (Kerala + Mumbai) is very gay friendly. It’s just that people don’t realize it. That’s the irony in it. People just think that India isn’t all that friendly and they choose to stay in closets of relative sizes.

I have had practically no bad experiences having been gay in India, except for perhaps finding an apartment to live with another man in an apartment (when Vinokur came down in 2008). Other than, touch wood, it’s been a wonderful 15 years of being out in India.

Look at me – I am out in all facets of my life, out on all social networks, have an active blog, and have a very promising gay social life, which unfortunately I don’t participate much in. The only bad thing is that, because of the problem that I mentioned above, I haven’t found a good partner for me from India.

This problem would be solved if people started embracing  themselves instead of blaming the society for not embracing them. As simple as that!

Homophobia in WWE?

I was watching the episode of WWE's Raw (21st February, 2011) on Ten Sports tonight. John Cena was responding to the Rock's monologue during which he made fun of Cena's "You can't see me" catchphrase and his boyish antics. Cena started out well. But I thought he went into a phase where he sounded extremely homophobic. Here's an excerpt of the monologue from Prowrestling.com and other sources.

Cena continues to rap and knocks Rock for wearing makeup and a dress in his movies. Cena says he's like a big purple pinwheel and tells Rock to "blow me." Cena goes on, saying Rock spends his next movie in a bowling alley, polishing Cena's balls. Then he makes a jibe at the Rock: “Don’t go racing to Witch Mountain Rock, because your mountain is Brokeback!”.

Here's a video of the excerpt from YouTube:



Now, I don't consider that the writers and the management staff of WWE are doing great by promoting angles with clear homophobic tendencies. After all, the mass they cater to is the kids and adolescents more than any one else. The only way to justify this is they WWE is plotting Cena to turn a heel soon. In that case, maybe this would be alright.

More links to read:

• http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=121413230346&topic=16137
• http://bleacherreport.com/articles/624351-homophobia-a-serious-issue-plaguing-john-cena-and-the-wwe
  

Dostana's negative influence

Yesterday, my colleague MVP and I, both doctors and out gay persons, were doing some work together at the office. As usual, we were teasing and and taunting our colleagues. Then, MVP answered a call during which he talked about meeting 'someone' at Malad station at 7.15 pm. I started pulling his leg by announcing to my other colleagues that MVP was going out on a date tonight and how we should all feel happy for him. We all joined in and started teasing him.

As soon as he hung up, he turned around and told another female colleague of ours 'You are just jealous because you are going to meet your mother-in-law'! Of course, the female colleague denied it saying that she wasn't going to meet her mother-in-law that evening. Apparently, she had other plans. Soon she was on her way out for the day and continuing with our playful banter, we both conveyed our regards to her mother-in-law. She said 'Sure, I'll tell her that two of my gay colleagues said hi to her!'

After she left, MVP told the rest of the colleagues about the story of my colleague's mother-in-law and her concept of homosexuality. Apparently, she had seen the movie 'Dostana', which had led her to believe that homosexuality was just a pretense to take advantage of innocent girls and to grab their attention. We all had a hearty laugh at the end of it all.

However, it struck me as amazing how such Bollywood slapstick comedies featuring stereotypical gay characters can negatively influence people and lead them to having delusions about homosexuality. This is one of the many reasons why gay movies that portray gay/lesbians/transgenders in positive roles should be made in Bollywood. Bollywood's impact is so huge that this is a must to help change the mindset of urban, middle-class India.

So Bollywood, can you please insill some serious sense into these Gujju mother-in-laws please?

Steven Davies - attaboy!

The first time I saw him on television, he looked an attractive player and a suitable, if not better, replacement for Matt Prior. This was during the English winter and the Australian summer, during the just-concluded, vastly entertaining Ashes seried down under. I was actually disappointed when I heard that Prior was given the nod ahead of him the World Cup squad.

In the second week of the World Cup, he has made me proud. He has made all of us proud! Steven Davies has officially come out of the closet, and by doing so has become the first professional cricketer to come out of the closet. This is simply wonderful news for everyone - most importantly for him.

Sinc yesterday, there were dozens of news stories about him. But the most moving one was the one where he detailed how distressing it was to remain in the closet while playing for his teams (England, Surrey, and in the future, surely an IPL franchise). 'A tour of two weeks felt like two years', he said. Initially, he came out to the England coach Andy Flower about this who had a long discussion with him and they both decided that the team needs to know this.

When they collectively announced this to the team, the response was even more heartwarming. Matt Prior apparently gave him a nice hug and asked him why he had kept this to himself all this time! The others must have had poignant responses too. This news comes right at the heel of the news story of James Anderson, the Enlgish pace bowling spearhead and a straight, married man with kids, agreeing to model for a gay magazine photoshoot.

Both the stories speak volumes about the acceptance of of homosexuality as a social variant rfather than an abberant in the English cricket team, and more widely in the UK and in Europe. Indeed, many European countries have made gay civil unions legal and some others like Portugal and Spain have made gay marriages legal.

There are lessons in this. First, being out of the closet is the ideal, for the gay guy and his friends and family. Second, the society and the state, as and when i starts accepting homosexuals as individuals with equal legal rights, make it easier for celebrities and sportsmen to come out of their closet. I hope everyone takes home a message from this story and a glorious path is paved toward more people coming out!

Besides, who wouldn't want a bunch of Indian hotties like Zak and Virat (from the Indian) team coming out of the closet? ,-)

Here are some wonderful links on the story:

• http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2011/feb/28/steven-davies-gay
  
• http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/cricket/8350779/Steven-Davies-England-cricketer-announces-he-is-gay.html
  
• http://www.espncricinfo.com/england/content/current/story/503503.html
  

Directions to the TV9 office

This is a google map view showing the road route to reach MIDC area close to the TV9 office. If you need any help in locating the office, please call on the following number.

9820521108

Finalized plan for the protest against TV9

(Details courtesy Pallav Patankar)

ACTIVITY PLAN

Address:
TV9 Media Maharashtra Pvt.Ltd.
110, Silver House, 13th cross road, MIDC, Andheri East
Mumbai, India
Time : 5.30 pm -8.00 pm

Activity:
We can start individually/in groups to TV 9 offices from 5.30 pm onwards. Pallav , Sonal , Vivek Anand , Gautam Yadav (others welcome) will carry letters of protest to TV9 at 5.30 pm. We will present ourselves at the reception desk and politely ask for the higher most authority present in the office. If we are successful in meeting him/her , we will handover the letters of protest. Currently the letters issued will be from QAM, HST, INFOSEM mentioning the shameful act of TV9 Telegu. We will hand over white flowers to the official. All those who wish to protest can come with a letter and white flowers (of any sort) and present their letters at the reception.

Each one can can ask for the highest ranking official in TV9 present and give their letters of protest. The higher the number of protests and protest letters the better.

Code Of Conduct:

1. There shall be no violence , aggression or bad language used in TV9 offices.
2. Please be appropriately dressed.
3. Conduct should be graceful and explanation as to why we are protesting should be given.
4. Each group that enters can decide if they wish to take other TV crews along while registering the protest.
5. Post depositing our letters at the reception desk we can continue to congregate outside the premises and display banners, as well as sing the song “Aaaj kal tere mere pyaar ke charchey har jabaan par “(we sang this on 2nd July Azaad Maidan)

Peaceful protest against TV9 Hyderabad

This is a "copy-paste" of the details of the protest against TV9 from an LGBT mailing list. Credits go to Sibi Mathen.

TV9's slanderous and malicious story of gaymen of Hyderabad and Planet Romeo is a wake up call for the LGBTI community to make sure we don't let the media or any individual invade on our personal rights for dignity and privacy

Join us for a PEACEFUL protest at TV9 Maharashtra's office. Join us in huge numbers with banners, protest letters(to be given to the channel) and flowers (with a get well soon message)....no screaming, no violence, no Naarebaazi!!

Time : 7pm 5.30 to 8 pm

Date : Friday, 25th Feb 2011

Location : TV9 Media Maharashtra Pvt. Ltd.

110, Silver House, 13th cross road MIDC, Andheri East Mumbai - 400 093

Please be there on time. For any queries (directions etc) call 9820521108.

Send us your mails on unitedagainsttv9@gmail.com.

Please pass on this message to friends, even if you can't make it, and help spread the word around.

TV9 Hyderabad's evil exposé

Yesterday, TV9 Hyderabad's YouTube channel uploaded a video of a slanderouos, maligned news story titled "Gay culture rampant in Hyderabad." Apparently, undercover reporters from TV9 went to a gay party and covered it. They also created a fake profile on PlanetRomeo.com and called some of its users and recorded the conversations that they had with them. These were used along with private pictures of users on PlanetRomeo.

The LGBT community in India has united and has condemned these actions by the TV channel. The YouTube video has been flagged and YouTube has taken in down, and although I'm sure that this video will be uploaded at other locations soon, it is a positive step in protesting against the channel which has invaded the privacy of innocent people. The latest on the news story is that one student who was exposed in the news story has committed suicide. I don't have any official confirmation for the same.

Apparently, as a knee-jerk reactions, hundreds of members of PlanetRomeo have deleted/moved profiles and taken off their photos from the site. LGBT community members in Mumbai are planning a peaceful protest at the TV9 office in Mumbai on Friday. This will be against the ridiculous story run by the TV9 Telugu division. The details will be posted soon.

Please help the community in protesting against this serious issue of invasion of privacy. Thank you!

What you can do:

• Flag video/copies of the story online
• Write to the TV channel
• Express solidarity to our friends from Hyderabad
• By talking about this on various social media platforms
• By changing your FaceBook profile picture to a picture which displays protest to TV9
• By changing your Planet Romeo profile to "Hyderabad" and post your pictures on it
• Join the community in our peaceful protest against TV9 on Friday evening at TV9's office (Details on my next post)

Please do as much as you can. Let this be a movement to prevent such stupid journalism from raising its head again.

A strange plea for help

A week back, I got this message from a friend of mine. It's about a friend (woman) of his who's finding it hard to come to term with her sexuality and sexual orientation. I'm pasting the contents of the message below.

"i know a very nice, homely, cool girl who is also highly qualified. She likes rock and roll and is a vocalist. she's 24. she's frigid...unable to have sex. family pressure to get married is mounting to a point where she might just decide to end it all. i think you understand better what a fragile situation this is...this is worse than rape.

She wants to meet guys who are gay, but have similar pressures on them to settle down "with a girl". This way she can be helped...and someone from the male gay community can also breathe easy.

I'm all for the "coming out of the closet" thing. But Kris i also know that there must be people out there who are struggling with gaining acceptance towards their sexuality. Maybe we can help 2 people...

i have seen her state, man. imagine what she'll have to go through...it bought tears to my eyes...she is a very caring and loving person..."

I don't know what to tell my friend. Should I talk to his friend, the woman? Should I suggest that she speak to some counsellor? Maybe someone at Humsafar trust? Do you think she can find someone gay who'll agree to forge a 'marriage of convenience' with her? Is that the right step?

Delhi Trip - Day 2

The second day started out with a fantastic breakfast at the roof-toop restaurant at our hotel. It was still overcast and there was a threat of drizzles. We first set out by metro to Chandni Chowk. Central Delhi isn’t really a place that will appeal to a foreigner who’s expecting Delhi to be a shining demonstration of India’s emergency as an economic superpower. After getting out the metro station, we walked around the maze of Chandni Chowk. We found an interesting chaiwallah who allowed us to photograph him after some initial reluctance. His chai was amazing and we would recommend him if you ever visit Chandni Chowk by using the metro as he is on your way out from the metro station to the main street.

We walked through some of the bylanes in Chandni Chowk looking for some items for him to buy, but we didn’t find anything interesting. Then we headed out to the Red Fort where we were greeted by the great Indian racist propoganda – Rs. 250 entry for a foreigner and Rs. 10 for an Indian or those from the SAARC countries. After getting our passes, we went in the majestic red fort which wasn’t look all that red.

Inside, we found an interesting row of stalls selling antiques, jewelery etc. He was suggesting that we should visit all the shops with cute Indian men and as soon as we said that, we walked by a shop which had a couple of handsome Indian men up front. We walked into the shop and we were greeted by a third handsome man who took us to the interior of the shop to demonstrate his wares.

We got into a friendly conversation with him. Soon enough, the vendor recognized us as being a gay couple and outed himself as a bisexual guy. He showed us fantastic paintings of the gay Kama Sutra – apparently, that shop is the only place which sells such paintings in Delhi. We had such a wonderful, flirtatious chat with this vendor and we decided that we would come back and buy some paintings if my friend’s client would answer positively to the e-mail that we would send later that evening.

We then visited the interior of the fort, which was a pleasant experience. On our way back out, we checked out some more stalls and my friend bought a few bracelets at a reasonable price using all of his charm on the vendors. I can’t believe how all these vendors love him so much. He’s such a charmer, I say! We then headed back to the metro station. We grabbed some cheap vegetarian fast food on our way for lunch.

We bought our tickets to the Central Secretariat and got into a packed train at Chandni Chowk. We were almost crushed to death three times during our trip – funny, it wasn’t even rush hour. I consider that as an experience even worse than the rush hour in Mumbai suburban railway system. Somehow, we managed to get down at the Central Secretariat and walked on the Rajpath to the India Gate. This part of Delhi, the South Delhi part is incredibly beautiful – despite some puddles and mud on our way because of the rain.

We hung out for a few minutes at the India Gate where some vendors came up to my friend and started talking to him in English. Suddenly, my friend started talking in Japanese. The jaws of the vendors dropped and they asked me in English if my friend was Japanese. After a furious minute or two of conversation in fluent Japanese, during which my friend indicated his lack of interest in the items the vendors were selling, we took a autorickshaw to Rashtrapathi Bhavan at the other end of Rajpath.

We spent a few minutes taking pictures and my friend posed for pictures with an extended family from Uttar Pradesh. Then we took the same autorickshaw back to Pahar Ganj. We were really tired for the second day in running and relaxed for a couple of hours while drinking beer – I watched the World Cup warm up match between India and New Zealand while my friend got busy with e-mails and photographs.

We headed out to find another restaurant for having dinner. We ended up at a cheap roadside dhabha at Arakasan road which had a tandoor. After having rather disappointing dinner comprising Tandoori Chicken, rumaali roti, and half chicken tikka biriyani, we took a walk around the disappointing neighborhood. I played with a few of the stray dogs – the stray dogs in Delhi are so much more friendly than those in Mumbai – and after that, we returned back home for the night.

The best pride ever!

Working half-day – slogging, quite literally – before heading down town for the pride march and the accompanying festivities isn’t the best idea. But I had to do it because it fell on a working Saturday and I had to at least work half-day. I reached just in time to catch Celina Jaitley and Ashok Row Kavi address the crowd. No sooner as she left the stage, the organizational committee wanted me to speak on the megaphone, which was a bit crazy I thought. I managed to utter a few sentences before getting off the podium and joining the pride march.

The march itself was pretty amazing. It was very strongly populated. But what made the afternoon/evening/night most memorable was the company. The company of a man who claims that I had written something bad about him on this very blog after our first date about 2 years back. I’m talking about Craigie. He is the funniest, sarciest bitch that I know and I love him. He kept me company through the march, and then at the post-march party at Café Ideal, then at a friend’s apartment/terrace, and then finally at the post-pride march GB party.

We laughed so much that I really can’t remember the time when I had laughed so much. Maybe back in 2007/2008 when Vinokur was at his best! That’s how funny he was! Americans are funny, but Craigie is special and takes the humor to another level. We happened to have the company of one a DDG, handsome German actor H. who was with us most throughout the evening. We had a blast! This is how partying should be. Fun, laughter, merriment!

Of course, I had my share of luck with a bunch of older men at the GB party, a couple of whom I was forward enough to make out with. But alas, all of them are married and have families and are closeted. Well, I did meet a single Kiwi guy – my second Kiwi guy in a week’s time – who might be an interesting person to hang with. But Craigie and H. made 2011 pride really special!

Must-not-miss events during the QAM week - Ek Madhavbaug and Dancing Queens

ABOUT EK MADHAVBAUG

Ek Madhavbaug is one of the pioneering Marathi language plays written on homosexuality and acceptance of the Gay community. The poignant play tells the story of a 21-year-old youth coming to terms with his sexuality. The play is seen from the view point of his mother. The Mother discovers that her son is Gay and through his diary, relives his journey of discovery of his own sexuality. The play strikingly brings out the emotions of a mother and son and will leave no soul untouched through its intensity and heartfelt content.

Chetan Datar had performed the original Marathi Play at the Humsafar Trust in 1998 and since then it was a dream that we shared with Chetan to translate the play into the hindi language and provide it a larger platform

The performance reading is done by actress Mona Ambegaonkar. She has given award winning performances and is still remembered for her work in television serials like KADAM, CID and AMBER-DHARA. Her films include MANGAL PANDEY, WHITE NOISE, and amongst her plays are KASTURI, RADHA-NIVAS, SITA-SURPANAKHA & SANDRA AND WHATEVER YOU SAY.

The hindi version of the play was first performed at Kashish Mumbai International Queer Film Festival 2010 at PVR Juhu in April 2010 to packed audiences and received standing ovation from the audiences

Ek Madhavbaug will be performed on 26th January 2011 at SNDT University Auditorium in Juhu, Mumbai as a part of the QAM Pride Week Celebrations!

Do come!

ABOUT DANCING QUEENS

Dancing Queens is coming together of 20 male dancers who impersonate as women and perform dance numbers of all time famous Diva’s of Hindi Cinema. The first performance of Dancing Queens was done as a fund raiser for Queer Azaadi Mumbai 2009. The show was supported by various Community Based Organisations and friends. The show was a big success and nearly two-hundred friends (within and outside the community) attended and were entertained with mesmerizing performances. The show managed to raise Rs. 30,000/- for QAM 2009 in a single night. It also got coverage from leading news papers which brought visibility to the initiative.

Dancing Queens are back again on 26th January 2011 at SNDT University Auditorium in Juhu,Mumbai.

Be there!

(Write-up: courtesy Vivek Anand from the Humsafar Trust)

Queer Azaadi week calendar

This is the final draft of the QAM pride week calendar. I must also link you up to the official blog of Queer Azaadi Mumbai. I'm expecting this year's march to be the biggest yet in Mumbai. But don't forget to turn up for the other events that have been lined up. Don't you even dare to not check my performances on 27th and 28th!

Singer/songwriter debut

Well, the Queer Azaadi March this year features a week of queer-related activities leading up the pride march on the 29th of January (Saturday). I have already applied for a half-day leave on that day.

More importantly for me, however, are the dates 27th and 28th, when I'll be performing as a singer/songwriter at two separate venues - at the Carter Road Amphitheater, Bandra and at Cooper Candies, Pali Hilll, Bandra, respectively.

On the 27th, I'll be joined by Rob (on guitar/vocals) and S (on djembe, percussion). The fantastic Alsha Batth will be performing alongside. On the 28th, I'd be performing solo for just a song or two at the Open Mic Night event. Both will be memorable days in my life, where I'll be performing songs that I wrote, songs that are so very personal.

This will the first time that Ideat Savant (my pet music project) songs are being performed live. As a prelude to these two gigs, if things go well, I'll be performing a 3-song set with Rob and S at the Cirkles gig at Not Just Jazz by the bay on the 21st of January. That makes it a total of three singer/songwriter gigs in a week's time! Wish me luck fellows!

Here is the QAM schedule:

So much for blood relationships

Last weekend, I had a chat conversation with my sister. I thought it was about time that I mentioned the developments in my life vis-a-vis men and romance. I didn't want her to know after the rest of the world already knew, which already is the case unfortunatley.

As usual, our conversation was nothing but rude and unhealthy. I opened my heart out to her and I guess she did it too. Our feelings to each other were categorically unruly. She asked me things like 'Why do you meet before you get to know them/like them?', to which all I had to say was 'That's how relationships are made, by meeting peope and knowing them better'.

When I told her that humor was a very important factor when it came to choosing a man because I had a good sense of humor, she said that she thought that I didn't. That's how shallow our relationship has become these days. If she didn't know that I was funny, she hasn't known me at all, I said. She said that what she knew of me from the past, I didn't have much of a sense of humor. Incredible!

And then, as usual, she asked me to make decisions carefully, as if I didn't know that already. She thought that my decisions have not been well thought through and that's the reason why I'm having such a miserable life. I asked her how she knew that she was right? Then she asked me 'Now, who's being rude here?'

With that she and I decided that we better not chat with each other any further. This is the reason I should believe why families are not meant for the welfare of people like me. Also, I know why it was such a wise choice to have decided to separate myself from the family and adopt 'friends' as the primary family. As someone told me the other days, and I quote, 'Friends, to gay people, are what family is to straight people'.