Jun 24, 2011

To be gay in India

Someone started a hashtag on Twitter #ToBeGayinIndia. I don’t quite know what was the motive behind it. I bet it was something negative –something about the hardships that gay/lesbian/transgender people face being out in public in India.

Having been out for about 15 years now, in varying levels of ‘outness’, with the present level being completely out, I think that India (Kerala + Mumbai) is very gay friendly. It’s just that people don’t realize it. That’s the irony in it. People just think that India isn’t all that friendly and they choose to stay in closets of relative sizes.

I have had practically no bad experiences having been gay in India, except for perhaps finding an apartment to live with another man in an apartment (when Vinokur came down in 2008). Other than, touch wood, it’s been a wonderful 15 years of being out in India.

Look at me – I am out in all facets of my life, out on all social networks, have an active blog, and have a very promising gay social life, which unfortunately I don’t participate much in. The only bad thing is that, because of the problem that I mentioned above, I haven’t found a good partner for me from India.

This problem would be solved if people started embracing  themselves instead of blaming the society for not embracing them. As simple as that!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well my partner and I found a solution to that as well, we decided to buy our own apartment rather than bother with idiots and put forth requests to let us be tenants. Yay!

P

ps: the word verification for me to post this comment, requires me to type characters as in the pic yeah. What were the character? "ASSTAKERR". I KID YOU NOT. LOL

Kris Bass said...

Anonymous: Hahaha! I'm glad you could afford to buy an apartment. I know some friends who have done that. :)

Cheers!

Yadhu Krishna said...

Every post like this actually push me an inch towards the coming out day..

I am am still in the closet.. but kinda biiiiggg closet with lot of people in it.. But I might tell my parents one day...

But I really dont know if I will find a guy to spend the rest of my life with. If I do, I am coming out.. the next day!!

Thanks for being an inspiration!

Anonymous said...

I really think being "gay" or being whatever anywhere is all in the mind.

My partner and I have never been a part of any scene as such and everything turned out well for us in due course.

Though at times I do think that everything happened too soon, still in my early 20's and I've been with him since 5.5 years. No complaints however :)

P

Kris Bass said...

Yadhu Krishna, I'm glad that I was able to help you out with regard to the eventuality called 'coming out'. There is no pressure on you whatsoever to do that now. Whenever you are comfortable with yourself, please let your dearest ones know what you are and how you feel about it, because they will be really happy about it, I tell you!

Kris

Kris Bass said...

P: It sure is mostly in the mind. To be part of the 'scene', also, is an option that you can choose to exercise. I have had fun being in the scene for quite a while. But many couples seem to avoid it for various reasons. You might be able to find a post about this curious phenomenon here or on the GB mailing list.

I'll raise a toast to you and your partner! Great going!

xoxoxoxo

Anonymous said...

Thank you very much.

I guess I'm too paranoid of someone trying to interfere or create between us, hence I usually avoid avoid avoid. Believe it or not, we have no gay friends. Not that we know of. :P

Either ways, keep blogging and keep entertaining.

P

Kris Bass said...

Don't be paranoid! Nobody is going to intrude upon you. :)

I will try to keep you entertained!

apoorva said...

Hey I'm from DNA newspaper, and we would be interested in including an excerpt from your blog on our LGBT page - with credit and link of course. If you're interested, please mail me on apoorvadutt88@gmail.com

Kris Bass said...

Hey apoorva, thanks for writing to me. I have already replied to you in an e-mail. Cheers!

Kris