Split-personality disorder

I have two of everything. Well, almost. I have two e-mail accounts, to FB accounts, and two Twitter accounts. On FaceBook, especially, I have a little game going on between the two accounts (Krishna Kumar Venkitachalam and Kris Bass, who are in complicated relationship). Yesterday, I had this idea of tweeting two contrasting, almost contradictory, versions of the same tweet.

I had three such tweets:

• Krishna: So many people to love and so little time to do it...
• Kris: So many people to make love to and so little time to do it...
  
  
• Krishna: Playfulness is so much more fun when some romance is involved.
• Kris: Romance is so much more fun when some playfulness is involved.
  
  
• Krishna: I wish I could feel attracted to men as much as they feel attracted to me.
• Kris: I wish men would feel attracted to me as much as I feel attracted to them.

I enjoyed doing this and hope to do more in the future.

Change truly is coming

You know, I have been procrastinating about doing something about a gift for Jodi and Sumo's wedding. I've been sitting on some of the wonderful suggestions that you guys had given me. Thanks to all of you. Well, today being the wedding anniversary of my sister, I finally decided to get my ass out of the lazy-chair and do something. I recorded a little audio message from both me and Vinokur and added it along with a cover of a song that I have always meant to sing for her. I hope my sis and BIL like it.

One thing does lead to another even in my world. This time I did something even cooler. A whole package of little jokes, warm wishes, greetings and a song (a Beatles classic sung lamely by yours truly) - by arists from two continents all produced, recorded, mixed and mastered in under 45 minutes. I sent it along to Jodi and Sumo. I hope they like it.

But something was missing - a photo greeting card. And since my relationship truly symbolises the hope which is manifested in the recent victory of senator Obama, we did something on the same theme. Here it is for you analysis and comments.

Gerontophobia

I’m tired of people saying stuff like ‘Hey, look at that ‘uncle’… he looks so gross. I don’t feel like bathing (in the pool) now. I wish he weren’t here.’ & ‘Look at her, she’s half dead. I don’t want to be talking to such an old woman.’ & ‘You know what, I saw this band from Kolkata. They are all ‘uncles’ and they play classic rock.’ & ‘Arrgh! How can you even think of having sex with an old man/woman?’

I have heard a lot of this stuff, believe me. Yes, I’m predisposed to such comments because I like older men and I have relationships with them. But I have a question – How could you be so judgmental/critical/biased about a particular subset of the society? What if it is your uncle/aunt or your father/mother? Even better, what will happen to you yourself when you get older?

In the gay circles at least, it is hypocritical to say something like that. Why? Because we demand the rest of the society accept us for what they consider as weird/abnormal/unnatural. So how on earth can we say something like that to an elderly person? Aren’t we discriminating because of age just like we are being discriminated because of our orientation?

Because of this conundrum, I’m skeptical about telling people about Vinokur’s age. That’s okay compared to taking him out on a party. What kind of comments will people make? More importantly, wouldn’t he get affected by all that? He claims that he can ignore such comments? But can I? Can I stand the insults to someone that I love more than myself?

Call from Mom

I got a call from my Mom yesterday. She and my Dad had just read the Rolling Stone magazine story (post) about Noise Market. Mom said

'It's nice. I'm happy for you.'

There, not too elated. Not too happy. It sounded more like

'Ass, look you were much better off being the average doctor than a rock star.'

She continued

'Your Dad's saying that his name is coming on the newspapers and magazines without him doing a thing.'

There are two issues here.

• For one thing, folks from down South in general, refer to their spouses in third person. Why do they need to do that?
• This, by the way is the problem with people from South India. 'Kris Bass' is actually the 'Kris' from 'Kris Kum' (which actually is my name) and 'Bass' is my Dad's name. In mags like RS, they have to have a surname. In my case, my Dad's name.

She added

'Your father didn't recognize you in the photo. He says that he doesn't think that it's you. I recognized you immediately!'

That's the only heartening thing really. At least my Mom recognizes my bearded-moustached-long hair look. Maybe she would also relate more to my coming out.

I actually expected them to say something about seeing me in the pride march on Mallu television. But then, I came to know that the television set at home is under repair.

Priceless

I'm short by nine hundred and ninety nine words for this picture. Maybe you guys can fill in!

My single pictures

Yesterday was a real pain in the ass for me as I assorted and posted 300 odd pictures of the picnic to private albums. It was boring just because it took so long. By the end of the day I was so fucken tired that I fell asleep immediately. Today, I woke up to find a lot of 'Thank You!' e-mails about the photos. I thought, why not get my fella bloggers a little bit of something to look at?

So don't get me wrong. I'm just posting a few of 'I alone' pictures. I'll go a step ahead and give you some landscapes. The other pictures, I'm afraid, have been decided to be warded off from anybody but the people in the pictures. I hope you understand.

Now, I want you to comment on these pictures in the POV of this - Does my hair look bad without the cap?

This is the link to the landscape photos.

The First Anniversary

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Of Horrorscopes

If I were a regular boring straight young adult from the southside of the Indian peninsula, my horoscope would have been published in various matrimonial magazines, websites and newspapers. Believe me, it would have been really platitudinal and it would have read something like this.

‘Dr. Kris, 28 year old orthopaedic surgeon (M. S. Orthopaedics (Mumbai), M. B. B. S. (Trivandrum)), 5’ 10”, slim, medium complexion seeks a bride 20 – 25 years of age, post graduate, preferably a doctor, 5’ 5” to 5’ 8”, slim, fair, beautiful who’s interested in music, reading, computers, etc. The bride shall be open to the option of staying abroad or in other cities in India. The bride shall also be from a wealthy family which will be willing to provide a luxury sedan and about 50 lakhs of rupees in cash.’

Now, the reason why I’m posting this is because during today’s conversation with my sister, she said that a couple of cousins of mine are getting their horoscopes published. This, down south, is considered a sign of maturing into this wonderful, responsible young adult who could lead a sparkling marital/parental life.

Awww, c’mon! These are the same people who haven’t gotten laid, haven’t been involved in a serious relationship and can’t practically take mature decisions. These are people who still drink without their parents knowing about it, who still live with their parents and who still make chauvinistic comments about women.

And naturally, such ‘horrorscopes’ lead to ‘not-so-special’ relationships!

I hope arranged marriages and marriages based on astrological features are abolished forever!