I have a new friend from New York. (What’s with me and the Big Apple?) Anyway, he’s a cultured, interesting, funny, intelligent ex-Texan with whom I vastly enjoy interacting with. Here's an example of the interesting things he comes up with. The other day, he came across the etymology of the word pariah.
pariah: 1610s, from Port. paria or directly from Tamil paraiyar, pl. of paraiyan “drummer” (at festivals, the hereditary duty of members of the largest of the lower castes of southern India), from parai “large festival drum.” Especially numerous at Madras, where its members supplied most of the domestics in European service. Applied by Hindus and Europeans to members of any low Hindu caste and even to outcastes. Extended meaning “social outcast” is first attested 1819.
Why are drums associated with lowliness or disgrace? Is it because they are so basic, perhaps the first instrument ever made? Not only is the drummer himself an outcast, drums (not bugles) are used to heighten a soldier’s humiliation in a drumming out ceremony. The OED dates the first usage of “drumming out of the corps” to 1766 in Thomas Amory's “The Life of John Buncle,” 150 years after the first recorded use of pariah.
To explain why drummers were members of the lowest caste -- drumming was an occupation performed by the Dalit or untouchable caste because drums were made from the tanned hides of animals and thus once associated with death. Therefore, the task of beating on them fell to the Dalit caste, who also performed other “unclean” occupations having to do with death and human waste.
To round this post of:
Q: What is the definition of a band?
A: Three musicians and a drummer. (ba-da-boom!)
(Courtesy largely to Robert Geoffrey McMillin)
Showing posts with label new york. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new york. Show all posts
Vinokur at the Big Apple
I've been quite explicit about my post-break-up experience in the mother of metropoleis here in Mumbai and I feel that I should also narrate the experiences that Vinokur has at America's Mumbai. In our conversations these days, Vinokur always highlights the fact that the most difficult thing about getting out a relationship and seeking new people is the fact that you are out there naked to the world. You start missing the security, the comfort and the enormous force shield that you had and suddenly you feel all human again susceptible to hurt, rejection and misery. Yes, it is the bad side of the coin. I'm rather saddened by the fact that Vinokur has been suffering from the bad side of the coin as compared to me.
Vinokur, like me, has been interacting with a lot of attractive men as well. In his case, until now at least, all of these men who shower incomprable praises about the most handsome older man that is there on the Atlantic, run away like Road Runner when they are allowed the knowledge of his health status. It incredible to realize what they are missing out on - I mean, here is this guy who is kind, gentle, affectionate, caring, attractive and lovable who is willing to give you all of that and you run away from that guy despite being in the same city as this guy? That, my friends, is called stupidity.
The most reasonable thing that one could expect from him is to try and re-start the fantabulous relationship that he had with his ex-ex boyfriend with whom he has this wonderful friendship with. Everybody who's anybody in Vinokur's life knows that phase of his life where he was in this relationship was perhaps the peak of Vinokur's life. That person is currently in a relationship which is not totally satisfactory. The caveat - he's also and ADHD social phobic - hence, it is easier for him to not be with any person whatsoever. Because of the possibility of a beatiful friendship being broken because of (possible) advances for an amorous relationship, Vinokur is hesitant to take the step. I wish both these beautiful people break the ice sooner than later and find solace in each other.
Vinokur, like me, has been interacting with a lot of attractive men as well. In his case, until now at least, all of these men who shower incomprable praises about the most handsome older man that is there on the Atlantic, run away like Road Runner when they are allowed the knowledge of his health status. It incredible to realize what they are missing out on - I mean, here is this guy who is kind, gentle, affectionate, caring, attractive and lovable who is willing to give you all of that and you run away from that guy despite being in the same city as this guy? That, my friends, is called stupidity.
The most reasonable thing that one could expect from him is to try and re-start the fantabulous relationship that he had with his ex-ex boyfriend with whom he has this wonderful friendship with. Everybody who's anybody in Vinokur's life knows that phase of his life where he was in this relationship was perhaps the peak of Vinokur's life. That person is currently in a relationship which is not totally satisfactory. The caveat - he's also and ADHD social phobic - hence, it is easier for him to not be with any person whatsoever. Because of the possibility of a beatiful friendship being broken because of (possible) advances for an amorous relationship, Vinokur is hesitant to take the step. I wish both these beautiful people break the ice sooner than later and find solace in each other.
Dreams from a weirdo mind/brain - part 3
This is the third in this series about dreams (read part 1, 2). This, I think, really highlights the relationship with my family. From my side, I keep on wishing that they would be more supportive of me. They seem to be until they sort of give up on me. Rest of the interpretation after the dream narrative.
My mental picture of my father and the indifference is clearly illustrated in the fact that I don’t even expect him to be around helping me. In the end, he does act as if he’s not interested in helping which is exactly what I used to get from him in my childhood. I presume the water-body that I’m facing in the last part could either be a metaphorical ‘hurdle’ of coming out or a much more realistic Atlantic ocean between me and Vinokur. The city could very well be New York.
If this got you all bored and stiff, I get much cozier dreams as well. I woke up having pleasant dreams about waking up next to Vinokur (who was sleeping) in his bed. In the dream, I was wondering what to tell him and how he would react when I woke him up and told him that I was there with him.
Another dream that I had a couple of days was a rather hopefully idealistic one in which I had a wonderful time with Noise Market – without any arguments. Just good ol’ fashioned compliments, jokes and jamming for fun!
"It was comforting to see that my family finally accepted my personality. They were happy about what I had chosen and were willing to be supportive. I waved to my Mom and my sister and starting along with my companion who also was my guide.Coming to think of it, this is so serious that it doesn’t go with the usual posts on my blog. Anyway, I’d explain a little more about it.
He led me through mountains and valleys and across passages that only he knew of. I remember walking on something that resembled the Great Wall of China. I distinctly remember an instance when I was about to cross the gate which would admit one person at a time and I had to wait because the person going the other way, a very handsome looking gentleman in his forties, was coming across. As we passed I caught him nodding at my companion and passing a hint of smile at me.
Things were going well, I thought. In a couple of days, we were nearing our destination. Finally we reached a big lake which overlooked the wonderful city, my final destination. As I walked to the shore, I saw no boat. I turned back to look at my companion and surprised that it had been my father. I asked him why there weren’t any boats or ferries.
He said ‘Look, I can only lead you to here. You’ll have to take care of yourself.’ As I watched him turn and walk back across the path we had walked, I felt disappointed at the fact that my father had chosen this path despite knowing that I didn’t know how to swim."
My mental picture of my father and the indifference is clearly illustrated in the fact that I don’t even expect him to be around helping me. In the end, he does act as if he’s not interested in helping which is exactly what I used to get from him in my childhood. I presume the water-body that I’m facing in the last part could either be a metaphorical ‘hurdle’ of coming out or a much more realistic Atlantic ocean between me and Vinokur. The city could very well be New York.
If this got you all bored and stiff, I get much cozier dreams as well. I woke up having pleasant dreams about waking up next to Vinokur (who was sleeping) in his bed. In the dream, I was wondering what to tell him and how he would react when I woke him up and told him that I was there with him.
Another dream that I had a couple of days was a rather hopefully idealistic one in which I had a wonderful time with Noise Market – without any arguments. Just good ol’ fashioned compliments, jokes and jamming for fun!
Sweetness from New York - part 2
Last time I posted something about Vinokur’s sense of humor, people acted overly excited and emotional and responded with mushy comments. I was impressed both at my narrating skills and my fiance’s sense of humor. It made sense to pursue that angle and today, I got a little dose that I'd like to share.
To kick things off, my apartment was in total shambles! Again? If you ask how it gets back into such a state every now and then, I can only guess that if you just start being a little lazy and don’t tidy it up every day, it is prone to get dirty. Shoes, clothes, newspaper, dirt, the late-rat dropping behind stuff etc. Shit happens, you see.
Procrastination worked wonders until late evening when I decided to hang out with Vinokur on Skype. Don’t smirk! I know my life ain’t all that ‘happening’! It was Saturday-fucken-night, in Mumbai that is. Yet, I was at home, alone doing my chores! But, it does help when you have someone to talk to when you are doing that.
So, in about 4 hours of time, I did the entire apartment. I was interrupted by visits by Rob and S. We had to talk regarding the band and stuff, you know. And in between, I and Vinokur were talking about topics like how he was sure that all gods were Jews and hence, my delusion that he was divine looking was not so misplaced.
I was winding up my routine by mopping up the floor. For a poor southerner like me who is used to such routines since childhood, mopping is done without a regular mop – the long stick like thing with fabric at the end. I use a cloth and dip it in a bucket of water with some cleaning solution and do it with bare hands, squatting. Yes fellas, I do that!
As I was mopping up stuff and getting closer and closer to the computer, I suddenly felt naughty. Well, I and Vinokur like doing role play and stuff. No, not too kinky. Just the master, slave thing; he the Gora master and I the Indian slave. Fits in perfectly, believe me. I asked him to describe what he was seeing through the camera hoping that he would say something exciting that I can work with. And he said
To kick things off, my apartment was in total shambles! Again? If you ask how it gets back into such a state every now and then, I can only guess that if you just start being a little lazy and don’t tidy it up every day, it is prone to get dirty. Shoes, clothes, newspaper, dirt, the late-rat dropping behind stuff etc. Shit happens, you see.
Procrastination worked wonders until late evening when I decided to hang out with Vinokur on Skype. Don’t smirk! I know my life ain’t all that ‘happening’! It was Saturday-fucken-night, in Mumbai that is. Yet, I was at home, alone doing my chores! But, it does help when you have someone to talk to when you are doing that.
So, in about 4 hours of time, I did the entire apartment. I was interrupted by visits by Rob and S. We had to talk regarding the band and stuff, you know. And in between, I and Vinokur were talking about topics like how he was sure that all gods were Jews and hence, my delusion that he was divine looking was not so misplaced.
I was winding up my routine by mopping up the floor. For a poor southerner like me who is used to such routines since childhood, mopping is done without a regular mop – the long stick like thing with fabric at the end. I use a cloth and dip it in a bucket of water with some cleaning solution and do it with bare hands, squatting. Yes fellas, I do that!
As I was mopping up stuff and getting closer and closer to the computer, I suddenly felt naughty. Well, I and Vinokur like doing role play and stuff. No, not too kinky. Just the master, slave thing; he the Gora master and I the Indian slave. Fits in perfectly, believe me. I asked him to describe what he was seeing through the camera hoping that he would say something exciting that I can work with. And he said
‘Honey, you look funny. You look like a duck. An oversized, but thin one with brown skin. And you do know how to quack!’I looked back at him on the Skype video window and saw him struggling to conceal a gorgeous smile.
Sweetness from New York
For those of you who don't know me well enough, this might not be boring. And the rest, well, you will just have to act cool and pretend that you enjoyed this.
Since I and Vinokur fell in love a year or so back, we wanted to meet each other badly. Fair, anyone would say. Even animals would want to do that. [But, do animals fall in love?] We made our initial plans to meet up for our common birthday which falls in early November. But that did not work out and the visit was postponed to late February this year. Since I'm a brown, Indian boy with a beard but without savings in the bank (read 'no VISA'), we decided that he would fly down to Mumbai first and live happily ever after with me.
For that we had a masterplan; new apartment with the faintest tinge of luxury etc. But because of his extensive back-ground of health problems, the three week stay in India was far from memorable. It included hospital admissions and resulted in an extensive period of amnesia. These days, during our conversations, I periodically check if he has started getting back those memories. Yesterday, I asked him which was his most memorable moment during this visit.
He said 'The first time we kissed each other at the apartment.'
As you would expect me to, I asked him to elaborate his version.
He said 'I kissed you passionately!'
I was shocked. I wanted more background, more build up and attention of minor details like the lighting, smell etc. I asked if he could be more descriptive, like a writer. What he said in response startled me. And it made me laugh hard.
'My lips met yours. Mine were below my nose and yours were below your nose.'
This is the kind of humor that he has. It's hard to get I know. But still, what can you do to such a guy but love him!
Since I and Vinokur fell in love a year or so back, we wanted to meet each other badly. Fair, anyone would say. Even animals would want to do that. [But, do animals fall in love?] We made our initial plans to meet up for our common birthday which falls in early November. But that did not work out and the visit was postponed to late February this year. Since I'm a brown, Indian boy with a beard but without savings in the bank (read 'no VISA'), we decided that he would fly down to Mumbai first and live happily ever after with me.
For that we had a masterplan; new apartment with the faintest tinge of luxury etc. But because of his extensive back-ground of health problems, the three week stay in India was far from memorable. It included hospital admissions and resulted in an extensive period of amnesia. These days, during our conversations, I periodically check if he has started getting back those memories. Yesterday, I asked him which was his most memorable moment during this visit.
He said 'The first time we kissed each other at the apartment.'
As you would expect me to, I asked him to elaborate his version.
He said 'I kissed you passionately!'
I was shocked. I wanted more background, more build up and attention of minor details like the lighting, smell etc. I asked if he could be more descriptive, like a writer. What he said in response startled me. And it made me laugh hard.
'My lips met yours. Mine were below my nose and yours were below your nose.'
This is the kind of humor that he has. It's hard to get I know. But still, what can you do to such a guy but love him!
Shortcut to Happiness
I don’t know why I’m so interested in watching Hollywood flicks based in New York. People might have views on alleging that on my love to Vinokur who, by the way; I’m proud to admit this, is a New Yorker. It might also be that I’m in Mumbai which is almost like New York. I have attributed it also to the fact that almost all of the sitcoms, TV shows and superheroes have a predilection for the Big Apple. Whatever it is, I was lured into another movie viewing experience at a multiplex nearby while it was pouring.
The reason this time was nothing special. Just three three-fourths handsome men (Did you ever notice that the last two letters of ‘handsome’ are the first two letters of ‘men’? Thank you ladies and gentlemen! Actually, all this previous silly comment did it was to leave me feeling like the author of ‘Blogging for dummies’ or ‘Romance with English for Dummies’ or the male ‘Oprah Winfrey!) Ah yes, Monsieur Anthony Hopkins (who steals 3 points) and Alec Baldwin (takes the measly three-fourths) were there in this movie based in New York.
The rest of the cast is really immaterial for a twisted brain like mine. But the story is. Screenplay is. Direction is. And the bottom line is that all of it sucked. Not big time, but it still did. Just the fact that the Big Apple and the portrayal of the posh lifestyle of a ‘successful’ writer added some substance to the movie watching experience can’t take anything from the truth: Anthony Hopkins is red hot. Well, maybe a little overweight. But otherwise, just perfect. Wealth, honor, stature, wisdom, knowledge, mastery of language, humor, power, charm and all the other 3534 qualities that I usually find in an older man; everything encapsulated in a that brilliant man/character. I confess: I would do anything to get him into bed with me. Well anything but my soul really, cuz I can’t love Vinokur without it!
Oh by the way, the movie gets just 2 and half stars from me. 1.5 stars go to Sir Anthony!
The reason this time was nothing special. Just three three-fourths handsome men (Did you ever notice that the last two letters of ‘handsome’ are the first two letters of ‘men’? Thank you ladies and gentlemen! Actually, all this previous silly comment did it was to leave me feeling like the author of ‘Blogging for dummies’ or ‘Romance with English for Dummies’ or the male ‘Oprah Winfrey!) Ah yes, Monsieur Anthony Hopkins (who steals 3 points) and Alec Baldwin (takes the measly three-fourths) were there in this movie based in New York.
The rest of the cast is really immaterial for a twisted brain like mine. But the story is. Screenplay is. Direction is. And the bottom line is that all of it sucked. Not big time, but it still did. Just the fact that the Big Apple and the portrayal of the posh lifestyle of a ‘successful’ writer added some substance to the movie watching experience can’t take anything from the truth: Anthony Hopkins is red hot. Well, maybe a little overweight. But otherwise, just perfect. Wealth, honor, stature, wisdom, knowledge, mastery of language, humor, power, charm and all the other 3534 qualities that I usually find in an older man; everything encapsulated in a that brilliant man/character. I confess: I would do anything to get him into bed with me. Well anything but my soul really, cuz I can’t love Vinokur without it!
Oh by the way, the movie gets just 2 and half stars from me. 1.5 stars go to Sir Anthony!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)