Additions to my WHILTHS List from the Stargate universe

As I wrote in my last post, I quite urgently need to update my With Him I’d Like To Have Sex (WHLTHS) list. Considering that the last few months have been dominated by my discovery of the Stargate franchise and consumption of related content, it is most pertinent to add a four delectable men from the Stargate content what I have watched so far.

1. Richard Dean Anderson (older version) as Captain Jack O’Neill in SGU

This may come as a surprise, because, to be honest, Richard Dean Anderson in SG-1 is really attractive. But I got goose-bumps when I watched the SGU pilot when the now aged Captain knocks on the door of a mathematician geek boy Eli Wallace asking him to join the team. The most attractive aspects are the accent and the sarcasm.

Captain O’Neill in SGU

Captain O’Neill in SG1

2. Tony Amandola as Bra’tac from Chulak from SG1

This character is the prototype of my tastes – rugged, coarse features, strong masculine voice, and the balded head/silver goatee.

 

3. Erick Avari as Kasuf as the Leader of Abydonians in Stargate (1994) and SG1

He’s actually the first among this list who I really fell for, primarily because he was the only eye candy on the film Starage (1994) for me.

4. Don S. Davis as George S. Hammond or Hammond of Texas

His character has almost everything that I go for: power, authority, wisdom, righteousness, baldness, shortness, and, and of course, the accent. Below the photographs, you will find a YouTube vide where Master Bra’tac addresses him as Hammond of Texas for the first time.



(PS: I think I’m about 20% through the entire Stargate catalogue on offer. The movie Stargate (1994), 3 seasons and some of Stargate SG1, and most of the first season of SGU Stargate Universe. This is quite strange because I started with SGU. After the pilot, I was so hooked on to the concept that I decided that I had to go the Star Wars/Planet of The Apes way of watching sci-fi series. So I started from the movie that kicked everything off and the follow-up series. The rest of the episodes of SGU have been watched with the BF – he wants us to watch something or the other every night and we have to find new things that we both can stand.)

“Porngate, my foot”

That’s an excerpt of what Pritish Nandy wrote about the two Karnataka cabinet ministers who were caught watching a pornographic clip on a mobile phone inside the assembly.

“@PritishNandy: Porngate, my foot. its Yawngate. ND Tewari did better. At least the women were real.”

All I have to say is this. India, watching pornography is okay. Ministers watching pornography is okay. Watching pornography at the workplace is probably wrong, but shouldn’t amount up to resignation if someone is caught. They are human beings too and can get distracted and hence they should be warned.

However, carrying mobile phones in the assembly – which is what the ministers did - is against the rules, and should be condemned. You voted for people who are just like you, who are vulnerable to the physiological demands of relaxation and entertainment, and of course sexual urges.

Here are two read-worthy articles on this issue that I came across this morning. The first one is an article written by my friend and journalist Vikram Doctor from Economic Times. The other one is a blog post that I was referred to on Twitter.

Are sex and masturbation a taboo among women in urban India still?

Today, I was having a casual conversation with my colleagues (all female) about sex and masturbation over lunch. Not the average lunch-time topic, I agree. But I wanted to discuss it with my friends.

All of them said that they don't 'do' such things and they would only have sex after marriage. I can't quite believe it. No masturbation? Throughout adolescence and adulthood until marriage?

Do others have similar experiences?

Women = whine. Men = wine

The average young man looks average. The average young woman looks above average. But as the years catch up with both these sets of the human demographic, there is something starkly disparate. Men age better. Much better. Women age similar to how a pig rolls in a dump.

As I look out through the BEST bus window, while the summer sun's light shines on the right side of my face, I see a worthwhile example of what I stated above. I see a family of three - dad, mom, and daughter - riding on a scooter with a side attachment, which houses the unfortunate sight called the mother.

The dad, with near-perfect posture, is riding the scooter. Very little of his shapelessness is visible. He's freshly shaven with a neatly trimmed moustache, and has a face which could easily fetch him a role in a movie or two. He's fair and his shirt has just been ironed, and he's wearing lovely dress shoes that go with his elegant trousers.

The mom is slouch-slumping all over the extension wearing a wrinkled kurta pajama. Her expression is of contended flatulence and dyspepsia and she has a blank look on her face. The daughter has neatly inherited the ugliness gene from her mom in the homozygous dominant form. Her love handles ripple at every thrust of the scooter motor, and she has an excessive layer of lard, which would have saved her from the wrath of an ice age or two.

The dad turns to look at the rest of the traffic, probably trying to avoid the ugliness he's schlepping around. I can clearly make out from his nose and jawline that he had once been the quintessential 'attractive' young man. I lower my gaze ever so slightly to focus on his cargo - two of the reasons why God must feel deeply sad for having created a yoni. I sigh deeply.

Sexmania 2010

I touch the screen
And start to answer
He touches me
And starts to dance, ha!

We make love indiscreet
And start a sojourn
We make out on the street
And startle many, for long

I fuck him hard and sweet
And he winces in pleasure
I pull it out swift and neat
And answer the call of another

We meet at a workshop
And I flirt with him
We meet at a coffee shop
I later play strings with him

We make passionate love
And I worry about his e-mails
We make delicious breakfast
And I fidget in my g-mail

I have capuccino, he has mocha
And I get a call, a warning
I sip my coffee, he reads out español
And I get shit-scared by the warning

We patch up over Skype
And I flirt with the Superman
We have an argument
And I become Mary Jane

I chat him up for a walk
Meet with him at McDonald's
I and he decide Marine Drive
We chat, cry, expose

We talk a lot on the way back
And hold hands in the train
I and he part at McDonald's
And I take a bus as he walks

I call him up to talk
And he agrees to meet tonight
I and he meet up at his place
And he fucks me to heaven and hell

We talk about meeting up
And he's not sure when and where
I and he part at his door
And we don't even kiss on the lips

I talked up three other men today
And I don't know how and when
I'll meet them and have fun
And it will go on and on

Lust in a Train

He sits across a couple of rows
A fleeting glance, it gets locked
I gaze out the window
Turn my head, I'm locked too

Perfection. The look. There is no other word
Polar opposite otherwise, I presume

Salt and pepper, looks clever
Sharp nose, trimmed black 'stache
Long fingers, three rings
Tucked out shirt, no binger
Fair and handsome
A product of the genes and not a factory

But, there is a Crimson tilak,
Probably listens to Uddhav, the shark
Has a wife, an ugly beast perhaps
And has a business that pays him in heaps

But again, conservative, religious,
And worried that I'm looking back at him

I chew the salted nuts, hoping they could be his
He shifts uncomfortably, and starts his routine prayer

Should i leave him alone?
He's too good to look at!
Is he going to come home?
He's too proud to do that!

I stare on and on, and
every thirty seconds, he catches me
Just the fleeting glance of lust
Of what he lost out on
Because society forced it on him

Society overcame him then
It does now too
The seat vacated next forces him
To readjust himself significantly
So that our eyes won't meet anymore

I start typing this
I get busy at this
Five minutes on, I look up
He's still staring at me

He wants me, but he can't
I want him, but I won't

He dozes away at Bandra
His head bounces up and down
I wish, oh how I wish, I were the reason
And not the train and the gaps in the tracks
And then a crowd blocks my vision
Hell, I won't mind pulling a Kasab, to get my view back

And then I see him staring at me
Eyes locked, not wavering
Had he decided that Sena is sin?
And sodomy is in?

I feel the stirring, a bit of hope
The train will be near empty, it's Dadar

It's my stop but I'm lost in him
And I don't feel sorry
Not for me, but only for him

I feel happy that I made a Sainik
Regain his conscience
Perhaps it's not much
But it's a start, or a semblance

Vinokur at the Big Apple

I've been quite explicit about my post-break-up experience in the mother of metropoleis here in Mumbai and I feel that I should also narrate the experiences that Vinokur has at America's Mumbai. In our conversations these days, Vinokur always highlights the fact that the most difficult thing about getting out a relationship and seeking new people is the fact that you are out there naked to the world. You start missing the security, the comfort and the enormous force shield that you had and suddenly you feel all human again susceptible to hurt, rejection and misery. Yes, it is the bad side of the coin. I'm rather saddened by the fact that Vinokur has been suffering from the bad side of the coin as compared to me.

Vinokur, like me, has been interacting with a lot of attractive men as well. In his case, until now at least, all of these men who shower incomprable praises about the most handsome older man that is there on the Atlantic, run away like Road Runner when they are allowed the knowledge of his health status. It incredible to realize what they are missing out on - I mean, here is this guy who is kind, gentle, affectionate, caring, attractive and lovable who is willing to give you all of that and you run away from that guy despite being in the same city as this guy? That, my friends, is called stupidity.

The most reasonable thing that one could expect from him is to try and re-start the fantabulous relationship that he had with his ex-ex boyfriend with whom he has this wonderful friendship with. Everybody who's anybody in Vinokur's life knows that phase of his life where he was in this relationship was perhaps the peak of Vinokur's life. That person is currently in a relationship which is not totally satisfactory. The caveat - he's also and ADHD social phobic - hence, it is easier for him to not be with any person whatsoever. Because of the possibility of a beatiful friendship being broken because of (possible) advances for an amorous relationship, Vinokur is hesitant to take the step. I wish both these beautiful people break the ice sooner than later and find solace in each other.

Being single again

In the last three weeks or so, I have been interacting with a dozen or so men. It is incredible really to note that I have had sex with 4 different men in a period of a 10 days after being celibate for over 8 months. I will be labelled as being promiscuous but then, you have to still take a dip in the fall to find if you can catch something special.

There have been men of all kinds and ages actually - from 35 to 65 - remember again that I'm sexually attracted to older men - and some of them have been special. Broadly, they can be catergorized to those with whom you can think of a long-term relationship and those with whom you can't. The trick to find a person with whom you would be happy with both sexually and emotionally.

The best of them, sadly, has rejected to my offer for a relationship. I guess, he doesn't need to carry the entire baggage that I have around at his ripe age of 60. He was everything that I could have asked for - red hot in bed, caring, affectionate, kind, intelligent, funny, succesful - but couldn't offer me a live-in relationship and was closeted. He and I were practically in love until he realized that we couldn't really carry forward the relationship any further. It was traumatic - but again, this is life - the real life, that is.

Then, there is this wonderful artiste who would have been a great guy had he been 'free'. He is in a long-term, long-distance relationship and he and his partner have decided to stick to each other. Of course, that doesn't mean that they can't sleep with someone of their liking. He is a wonderful conversationalist and seems to be a good guy in bed too! We meet regularly with the occasional instance of sex - but it's a wonderful thing to talk to him about all kinds of topics.

The third one is this wonderful, kind person who is perfect relationship-material. But the fact is that I and he have not really had a great time together in bed. It is the same guy that I spent the New Year's Eve together with. He's charming and interesting and a very nice person to have as a companion. But sex too is important in a relationship and it hasn't clicked yet.

Today, I met up with this amazingly closeted married guy. We exchanged a few messages and eventually our phone numbers. We had decided to have a cup of coffee which eventually resulted in me inviting him over for sex in my apartment. The funny thing is that he was so scared about being robbed or harmed in anyway that I felt kindful to him. We had a wonderful act of love-making - animal type love making, without any affection whatsoever - and that was it.

This bring forth the question - is it too early to seek out a relationship? Shouldn't I, at my ripe young age of 29, look to experience as much of sex as possible? Of course, I will be on the look out for the Mr. Perfect to walk in to my life. Until then, I'd be just the carefree gay guy in the metropolis who just wants his share of the Samantha-character in Sex in the City.

(PS: I recently found out on a stupid Facebook questionnaire that the character that I most resemble is 'Carrie')

Parallel-Olympics

Earlier in the day, I watched the semi-final bout at the Olympics that Vijender Kumar lost. I felt a little sorry for him but I guess he gave his best. A couple of days before, when I first saw his footage from the earlier matches, I went; 'Man, India can finally feel proud!' I mean this guy is fast and looks so damn professional when he does his pugilistic work.


Paradoxically, in the media and at least in gay circles, Vijender is getting more attention because of his looks. Everyone's opining on his cuteness and poster-boyish looks. To live up to his week long reputation of India's latest heart-throb, Bipasha has offered him a date with her. Frivolous publicity perhaps? But guess what, Shobha De herself acknowledges in this* post that he's the one with the potential to knock of Dhoni from the endoresement throne.

I beg, with a guitar case and my jacket laid on the streets, to differ. For me, he's just another cute guy to pass. The real man is our wrestler! The remarkably hot Sushil Kumar who sent even my gerontized sexth-sense to shivers of excitement. I mean, check out the body! And he has that typical North Indian 'I don't care' bear look. I'm not even mentioning his finer assets! This is exactly what I had in mind when I had posted about travelling all the way to Delhi or Pakistan in search of such men to get laid with. Well add a couple of decades and you'll get Mr. Perfect-for-Kris!


For most of us in the blogging world, the closest that we get to playing sport is to sit on a couch, watch the tube and scratch our own balls. If you are the kind who would let your imagination run wild, maybe our partner's balls (too). But I think we shouldn't be ashamed of it! Scratching balls, in my opinion, is a respectable thing to do. You pay homage to something which deserves to be idolized. Also, it tends to make us think, imagine, dream more!

That is exactly what happened to me. I started thinking about disciplines in which I could compete in a parallel-olympics and win a medal for India. I'd say I could win a gold medal in sex with men over the age of 50! Mabye I could also win a bronze in Long Distance Relationships. Definitely a gold in going to a supermarket and not buying anything after spending 2 hours! What would you guys win in?

Q: Which custom-made event would you strike gold in for your country had such an event been allowed in the Olympics (in a parallel universe)?

Examples – Blogging, Sex (any type of), Sleeping, Being Lazy, Love, Networking, Chatting, Baking a cake, Knitting, Shopping, Movie watching, etc? Remember you could be part of team events as well. If you want to comment on someone else, go ahead and do it?

This photo, although not totally related to the post, is actually from the Olympics. Wouldn't it look great on a Mills & Boons gay edition's cover?



(Image courtesy: Vijender - Tribune India, Sushil - Mumbai Mirror and the last one, Internet)

(* - Updated on 3.13 AM on the 23rd of August, 2008. Thanks to Oxy for pointing it out.)

Are you a male or a female

I was about to go hit the sack, when I jittered on to this cool web application through this blog. It tells you the odds of being a male or a female based on your browser cache. Pretty cool, ain't it?

My results were kinda revealing.

Likelihood of Kris being FEMALE is 60%
Likelihood of Kris being MALE is 40%

Okay, okay. It shows that I am a fag!

You can check your probabilities out here. (This works tardily on IE. Better jump to Firefox/Opera)

Primitive senses and ment-o-portation

When I did my medical school, I was engrossed with the senses that advanced/evolved organisms had. The five major senses which were all neatly packaged within our own heads were classified in the order of advancement. Vision/Sight ruled above the other four (smell a. k. a olfaction, sound a. k. a. audition, taste a. k. a. gestation and balance and equilibrium) so much so that the others were considered as primitive senses.

I have had my own set of (different) views as I was interested very much in cats and other mammals. Such beings depend on their ‘primitive’ senses far more than us. I think it is easy to understand why someone would become fascinated by this fact. I mean, look at the graceful yet brutal way in which the bigger cats hunt down prey. It fits in so well with your sense of sexuality and pleasure, doesn’t it? There have been theories (debatable) propagated which link up olfaction, sex and emotions.

I think I digressed a bit. The reason why I am posting about this rather unlikely topic is because of something that happens to me every day; the memories associated with my primitive senses; especially, the olfactory memory and auditory memory. Getting confused? Here’s an example.

I was watching VH1 today evening and I watched a video from the mid ‘90s by Aerosmith called ‘I don’t want to miss a thing’. I was suddenly transported back to my first year of medical school. For a few seconds, without me realizing, I felt like back then. Carefree, naïve and worry-less, I felt like running down the stairs at my home and going out to my friend R. B.’s apartment for an all encompassing talk about what came to our minds. It is not just memories. It’s more like ment-o-portation (noun: an act of being moved to a state of a different set of feelings, usually in the past, totally unrelated to the present feelings; mental tele-portation; etymology: Engayging Life, the blog).

Stronger, though, is my olfactory memory. And it is, for all your kinky ones, associated with sex. (At least, my digression makes sense now.) I can feel the touch of my partners if I smell their perfumes, deodorants, aftershaves or a simple talcum powder! It is so unreal and it freaks me out. And to make it even juicier, I have these things with me always so that I can get some ‘kick’ out of it every now and then.

Funnily, I don’t have Vinokur’s. I have perfumes that he’s gifted me. But I don’t have what he used to wear which, as I realized right now, is something that I can easily buy to complete the little inadequacy. And as a tip, such olfactory materials help to lighten the heavy-workload of a long distance relationship. In fact, one of the commonest tips to maintain such a relationship is to send scented postcards and perfumes.

My Indo-Pakistan paranoia

This afternoon, I had a chat session with a fellow gay from across the border. Since I believe in baring my heart out here, I thought it was a good idea to post a little bit of the transcript. I also believe that this will make it easier for my sister's shrink (2, 1) to get comfortable with my sexuality.

Kris: You know the thing that I have for Dads. How hot are Paki Dads? Just tell me.

Young Paki Gay: Very ;) They are going to come upto your expectations on EACH of your ideals ;) I did a couple of Paki dads and they were GOOD in bed :)

Kris: FUCK, FUCK, FUCK! Why did we ever get to be independent?

Young Paki Gay: So we can cross international boundaires and feel even BETTER about sex ;)

Kris: Now, I have a reason to get depressed.

Young Paki Gay:  No you don't. :) From what I have heard,Pakistanis are just like Dilliwalas and Punjabis. You can visit Delhi and get laid.

Kris:  Fuck you! I wanna get laid by a Khan or Sharif or Nazar or something!