Aug 22, 2008

Parallel-Olympics

Earlier in the day, I watched the semi-final bout at the Olympics that Vijender Kumar lost. I felt a little sorry for him but I guess he gave his best. A couple of days before, when I first saw his footage from the earlier matches, I went; 'Man, India can finally feel proud!' I mean this guy is fast and looks so damn professional when he does his pugilistic work.


Paradoxically, in the media and at least in gay circles, Vijender is getting more attention because of his looks. Everyone's opining on his cuteness and poster-boyish looks. To live up to his week long reputation of India's latest heart-throb, Bipasha has offered him a date with her. Frivolous publicity perhaps? But guess what, Shobha De herself acknowledges in this* post that he's the one with the potential to knock of Dhoni from the endoresement throne.

I beg, with a guitar case and my jacket laid on the streets, to differ. For me, he's just another cute guy to pass. The real man is our wrestler! The remarkably hot Sushil Kumar who sent even my gerontized sexth-sense to shivers of excitement. I mean, check out the body! And he has that typical North Indian 'I don't care' bear look. I'm not even mentioning his finer assets! This is exactly what I had in mind when I had posted about travelling all the way to Delhi or Pakistan in search of such men to get laid with. Well add a couple of decades and you'll get Mr. Perfect-for-Kris!


For most of us in the blogging world, the closest that we get to playing sport is to sit on a couch, watch the tube and scratch our own balls. If you are the kind who would let your imagination run wild, maybe our partner's balls (too). But I think we shouldn't be ashamed of it! Scratching balls, in my opinion, is a respectable thing to do. You pay homage to something which deserves to be idolized. Also, it tends to make us think, imagine, dream more!

That is exactly what happened to me. I started thinking about disciplines in which I could compete in a parallel-olympics and win a medal for India. I'd say I could win a gold medal in sex with men over the age of 50! Mabye I could also win a bronze in Long Distance Relationships. Definitely a gold in going to a supermarket and not buying anything after spending 2 hours! What would you guys win in?
Q: Which custom-made event would you strike gold in for your country had such an event been allowed in the Olympics (in a parallel universe)?
Examples – Blogging, Sex (any type of), Sleeping, Being Lazy, Love, Networking, Chatting, Baking a cake, Knitting, Shopping, Movie watching, etc? Remember you could be part of team events as well. If you want to comment on someone else, go ahead and do it?

This photo, although not totally related to the post, is actually from the Olympics. Wouldn't it look great on a Mills & Boons gay edition's cover?



(Image courtesy: Vijender - Tribune India, Sushil - Mumbai Mirror and the last one, Internet)

(* - Updated on 3.13 AM on the 23rd of August, 2008. Thanks to Oxy for pointing it out.)

12 comments:

Vee said...

Hyperlink Shobha De's 'this' post.

Vee said...

I can probably win gold in watching movies back to back (on DVDs, not theater) and yea of course without sleeping for at the most 3 days.

Probably silver in observing people endlessly. I can just sit for hours and look at any random person around... thats why I do not get bored if I am put on wait (be it anywhere)..

can think of just this two as of now..

Anonymous said...

I got extreme stalking skills --( ghost of Quested)

Kris Bass said...

@ Oxy: (Corrected the De hyperlink! Thanks!) LOLz at staring at people

@ Ghost of Quested alias Dunan Hines: We all know that, don't we!

sulz said...

the picture, are those gymnasts really gay or it's just some brotherly love? looks pretty gay anyhow. :)

Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

Advice to athletes in the last picture: Get a room. Make sure it's mine. Thanks. Much appreciated.

Kris Bass said...

@ Sulz: Welcome here! We presume the aren't!

@ rambws: You know what, I knew you were always into kinky stuff!

Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

What? A guy can't have two gorgeous looking athletes over for a umm..er..aaah ... cuppa tea without being caled names like "kinky" and "daddy"???

Kris Bass said...

An excerpt from Amateur Gay Blog Review - ... and the plot thickens from another celebrity gay blogger admits his liking to twinks and the fact that he's a Daddy. This is what we like about the Indian gay blog scene. You never know how things can turn out. Go read 'em fellas!

(*I swear, it's an actual truthful statement)

(** Oooh, Daddy I'm interested!)

Anonymous said...

I could see myself competing in the blogging olympics. Sounds like fun actually.

Kris Bass said...

@ Silver neuorotic: Blogging gold! I think I have my eyese set on that.

Prash said...

my 8 reasons why the Olympics make me laugh

1. Suddenly Everyone Is An Expert.

Why is it that people who generally do not give a hoot about sport now all of a sudden care? The games now are being posted left right and centre so each man, woman and child now has access and is able to view matches and games of various events. Over night it would seem that now every couch potato has now suddenly become a sporto and not only just a sporto but expert judge also! It really is so funny hearing them speak like they have been in the industry for 20 years.

2. National Pride.

Oh, China...
Ok so maybe it is not about sport but it is about, national pride? Can someone explain this? We all know the mantra, "Hong Kong is Not China and China is Not Hong Kong". This line is drilled into our heads everywhere we go. When people turn their disgust at mainland Chinese issues like, poor human rights, pollution and public spitting, "Hong Kong is definitely NOT CHINA!"

How fickle people have become now that China is hosting the Olympics and winning like absolutely, every thing????? It would seem that they only use that mantra when it serves them best like when they are winning the Olympics. Have Hong Kong people forgotten that there actually is a Hong Kong team participating in the Olympics also? It really is funny seeing how all of a sudden, all ethnic Chinese including (Hong Kong and Malaysian Chinese) are now 'so proud to be Chinese'.

Swaying Allegiance
Something else i find really funny about national pride is how national support comes for the highest bidder. This phenomenon particularly goes to those who have dual nationality. How funny is it seeing people fluctuate from one side to another because the other side is winning? One day they are supporting Greece because that is where they were born and then suddenly they are supporting Australia because they live there and now Australia are winning that match. Guess, everybody wants to be a winner baby... what ever happened to the spirit of competition?

Old Grudges Die Hard
I don't get it. England and France just need get over themselves and the five hundred year old grudge they have against each other. You sit and watch any game or ceremony and next to you there happens to be an English lad you call your friend. Suddenly if a French team come out then suddenly non stop all you hear is badgering of the French from your English friend. I don't know what is happening at English hospitals these days but this grudge is definitely ingrained into their genetic memory. They can't explain it; you cant explain it. All you can do is laugh.

3. Bogus Polices

For the Sydney 2000 Olympic Games, Australia promised to be the "Greenest Games in History" and promote the environmental and sustainability... It didn't happen. China promised to cut down on pollution and improve human rights -- that didn't happen either. China was applauded for establishing a designated area for protesters... the area was established but none of the protesters' applications where processed (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7567703.stm). In fact, some elderly Chinese women did protest and now they are being sent to hard labour as punishment (http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/08/21/sports/21protest.php?page=1). Olympic promises are sh*te -- it is all one big political game for power/money. Don't get me started on the countries which still do not allow women to participate despite the OIC's charter stating equal opportunity for both men and women.

4. Blatant Bias/Blatant Cheating

Why is it that China is winning everything? There have been many matches were other countries have out performed China but still China still a higher score. Makes you wonder what is going on under the table or perhaps this is just the powerhouse we know, China just doing what they do best – rigging and blackmailing? It's totally crazy! Helmets are getting hit off but no scores given then the Chinese boxer would tip his opponents face and get a full score.I am also in real awe of some of the lengths people go to cheat. Did you hear about the female weightlifter who after a chromosome check turned out to be a he? Do people have no shame?

So many world records have been broken these Olympics which to me comes as strange surprise since people have been speculating that records will not due to the poor air quality in China. I'm sorry to say but it's all about the drugs folks and do not mean the performance enhancing drugs themselves but the drugs they take to hide them. Sports technology hey? Where really is that fine line within sports technology between a performance enhancement body suit and performance enhancing drugs?


5. Crappo Sports Commentary

Seriously, where do they find these guys? I don't know about you guys where you are but here in HK, we really do have some sh*te commentators. What else can you do but laugh at commentary like, "and so and so is captaining hence why he is called, captain". Ok, that is not a direct quote but seriously, that is what it sounds like! These guys have no clue. I do also like how they struggle w difficult names… I don't blame them but it is funny to hear.


6. China Fakes

In order to achieve, Good feng shui, there must be a passage for the dragon to fly from the mountain to the sea. I have worked on a few projects now were they literally have (bulldozed and) moved mountains to make sure that the feng shui is "right". It would seem that nothing in China is real any more... not the Gucci, the Prada, the DVDs and definitely not the Opening Ceremony also – they even admit the girl was miming and the fireworks were fake. Oh China...

7. Wicked Sports Injuries

Sporting injuries to me are a love/hate relationship. As painful as they are to watch, i love a bit of elbow snappage to make the games interesting. Did you guys check out what had happened to that Hungarian weightlifter? Ouch!

8. Dud Olympic Sports

Nothing like laughing and tilting your head at a few dud sports like dressage and curling... enough said. Can anyone recommend any more?