A post from my blog got published in today’s DNA. I’m happy and proud. Here’s the link to the original post.
Showing posts with label gay socializing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gay socializing. Show all posts
Keep your friends close and your gays closer
Danny Lehmann, Vinokur’s friend, and his wife Laurie Lehmann are both amazed at the incredible network of gay friends that they have around the world. This includes Vinokur, Yours Truly, and Renato. Each of us have helped Danny in one way or the other to capture wonderful picture of the world around us. Danny himself admits that gay people tend to have more important social contacts that can take you to places.
That’s very true in my life. If someone asks me for a favor, and I can’t personally provide him any help, all I have to do is to look up the necessary number(s) or numbers from my gang of gay friends and send a text message. More often than not, I get an almost instant reply. The end result is usually positive and I would have got the necessary information that I needed.
For helping Danny to shoot prime locations in Mumbai, all I did was ask around half a dozen of my gay friends regarding permissions and logistics of things to do and almost all of them were helpful. Some, of course, said that they would require some time to get things moving and sorted.
The point that I want to make to readers of this blog is this: keep your gays close! More often than not, your gay social network will end up being more resourceful and capable of helping you out in a variety of ways.
That’s very true in my life. If someone asks me for a favor, and I can’t personally provide him any help, all I have to do is to look up the necessary number(s) or numbers from my gang of gay friends and send a text message. More often than not, I get an almost instant reply. The end result is usually positive and I would have got the necessary information that I needed.
For helping Danny to shoot prime locations in Mumbai, all I did was ask around half a dozen of my gay friends regarding permissions and logistics of things to do and almost all of them were helpful. Some, of course, said that they would require some time to get things moving and sorted.
The point that I want to make to readers of this blog is this: keep your gays close! More often than not, your gay social network will end up being more resourceful and capable of helping you out in a variety of ways.
The Banana Bar experience
After many months, I ventured out to the open - to the world of socializing in gay-friendly venues. As usual, my friend Vik, who organizes a monthly party at the Banana Bar, sent me an SMS invite. I politely responded saying that I had a rehearsal and hence could not attend. Vik playfully replied saying that I could make it after the rehearsal. Honestly, I was not expecting any reply, certainly not such a spontaneous one.
Suddenly, I felt like taking the plunge. I asked him if he could arrange some daddies for me. He replied saying that some older men are always there at the party. My curiosity was completely aroused - a new venue and the prospect of using my highly polished skills of flirting were too tempting. But I still did not have a date. I tried asking my dear friend Shruts, but she wasn't sure of making it.
I decided to delay the decision until after the rehearsal, which was a boring affair without the drummer. I messaged Shruts to ask if she was making it while waiting for her reply decided to head to the party. Sharing the share rickshaw to Malad station with three other smelly men was the worst part of the evening and made me wonder if I was smelling alright - remember that I was going to party not dressed appropriately after 12 hours of work + rehearsals.
I reached the venue relatively late and was pleased to see Vik come up to me to greet me as I placed an order for a beer. He said I looked more like 'Krishna' because I was dressed in a kurta and had my hair tied up in a ponytail. I replied saying that I was 'Kris' tonight and let my hair loose.
Soon I spotted a couple of friends at the terrace and I walked across the dance floor to meet them. On the way, I ran into a friend who had a very special message for me - I can't divulge the information now, wait for it! Then, the first surprise of the evening came to hug me. Sandy, my friend, whose Dad had rented his apartment to me and Vinokur when he visited me, was there to celebrate her wonderful sister Susie's birthday!
I spent about half an hour catching up with Sandy, Susie, and their gang of friends. Sandy and I go back 5 years, back when I was jamming with Xander and S - that long back, yes! We were so happy to catch up with each other. We reminisced the wonderful days when we would jam with me on the guitar and Sandy on vocals - we used to cover Jason Wade from Lifehouse then!
After that, I set out on my Daddy hunt. I went back to Vik and asked him he had seen any come in. He said he had spotted a few but was not sure where they were. I looked around and all I could see was the one guy that I had already met at a personals site a few months back. But he was busy with his friends.
Thankfully, they were showing the highlights of the Test match between India and South Africa on a big screen. I grabbed another beer and started watching the match. And then, all of a sudden, entered a white daddy with his relatively older-looking Indian friend.
It didn't take me much long me to go over to him and start a conversation. And he turned out to be a great guy! So, Vik kept his promise! And I met a lot of my friends. All in all, it was fun. Looking forward to being there, next time around, hopefully with Shruts!
As for the environment and the ambience, I liked the place better than 'Karma' or 'Let's Scream', where GayBombay parties usually take place. The terrace is a welcome relief to people like me who hate dancing and love conversations. Plus, this place is visited by a bunch of very sexy lesbian girls! So, thumbs up for Banana Bar!
Suddenly, I felt like taking the plunge. I asked him if he could arrange some daddies for me. He replied saying that some older men are always there at the party. My curiosity was completely aroused - a new venue and the prospect of using my highly polished skills of flirting were too tempting. But I still did not have a date. I tried asking my dear friend Shruts, but she wasn't sure of making it.
I decided to delay the decision until after the rehearsal, which was a boring affair without the drummer. I messaged Shruts to ask if she was making it while waiting for her reply decided to head to the party. Sharing the share rickshaw to Malad station with three other smelly men was the worst part of the evening and made me wonder if I was smelling alright - remember that I was going to party not dressed appropriately after 12 hours of work + rehearsals.
I reached the venue relatively late and was pleased to see Vik come up to me to greet me as I placed an order for a beer. He said I looked more like 'Krishna' because I was dressed in a kurta and had my hair tied up in a ponytail. I replied saying that I was 'Kris' tonight and let my hair loose.
Soon I spotted a couple of friends at the terrace and I walked across the dance floor to meet them. On the way, I ran into a friend who had a very special message for me - I can't divulge the information now, wait for it! Then, the first surprise of the evening came to hug me. Sandy, my friend, whose Dad had rented his apartment to me and Vinokur when he visited me, was there to celebrate her wonderful sister Susie's birthday!
I spent about half an hour catching up with Sandy, Susie, and their gang of friends. Sandy and I go back 5 years, back when I was jamming with Xander and S - that long back, yes! We were so happy to catch up with each other. We reminisced the wonderful days when we would jam with me on the guitar and Sandy on vocals - we used to cover Jason Wade from Lifehouse then!
After that, I set out on my Daddy hunt. I went back to Vik and asked him he had seen any come in. He said he had spotted a few but was not sure where they were. I looked around and all I could see was the one guy that I had already met at a personals site a few months back. But he was busy with his friends.
Thankfully, they were showing the highlights of the Test match between India and South Africa on a big screen. I grabbed another beer and started watching the match. And then, all of a sudden, entered a white daddy with his relatively older-looking Indian friend.
It didn't take me much long me to go over to him and start a conversation. And he turned out to be a great guy! So, Vik kept his promise! And I met a lot of my friends. All in all, it was fun. Looking forward to being there, next time around, hopefully with Shruts!
As for the environment and the ambience, I liked the place better than 'Karma' or 'Let's Scream', where GayBombay parties usually take place. The terrace is a welcome relief to people like me who hate dancing and love conversations. Plus, this place is visited by a bunch of very sexy lesbian girls! So, thumbs up for Banana Bar!
New Year's Eve party
I was in two minds to attend a New Year’s Eve party. I didn’t want to go to the crowded nonsensical GB party and I didn’t have a date to hang out with. Voila, one of my dear friends (who is also a hot Daddy) gives me a ring and invites me over to a BYOB house party. His apartment is very close to where I live and he had promised me that there will be a lot of Daddies out there. He even ensured that I will have a blind date.
So, with all this high expectation, I went to this party dressed up in a tight fitting beige pants (that my friend Shruta gifted me) and the Bodies exhibition T-shirt (that Vinokur had gifted me). I also sprayed myself with the new perfume that the Frenchman had brought. I brought whiskey with me to the party.
At the party, I met friends and past fuck-buddies, some of them I was very surprised to run into. This included the sculptor and the weird older friend that I have who has many “boyfriends.” The guest included LGBT heavy weights such as Ashok Row Kavi, Sridhar Rangayan, and Vivek Anand (Humsafar Trust). The blind date was charming as well and it was a pleasure be with him all throughout the party.
I made it a point to not get too drunk. That helped me enjoy the party better! All in all, a fabulous jump into the new decade!
Happy New Decade everyone!
So, with all this high expectation, I went to this party dressed up in a tight fitting beige pants (that my friend Shruta gifted me) and the Bodies exhibition T-shirt (that Vinokur had gifted me). I also sprayed myself with the new perfume that the Frenchman had brought. I brought whiskey with me to the party.
At the party, I met friends and past fuck-buddies, some of them I was very surprised to run into. This included the sculptor and the weird older friend that I have who has many “boyfriends.” The guest included LGBT heavy weights such as Ashok Row Kavi, Sridhar Rangayan, and Vivek Anand (Humsafar Trust). The blind date was charming as well and it was a pleasure be with him all throughout the party.
I made it a point to not get too drunk. That helped me enjoy the party better! All in all, a fabulous jump into the new decade!
Happy New Decade everyone!
How 'ungay' am I?
One of my good friends asked me in an SMS early this morning - 'Are you still gay?' He was joking of course, or so I believe. However, in the present state of my mind, I think that question carries more significance and relevance than it seems to. How many 'gay' qualities do I possess -- more importantly, how many that I don't. Let's see.
I'm not into socializing. I don't go well with parties anymore. This is well documented in a recent post about a party that I went to after being invited by the same friend who asked me the abovementioned existential question. Gay people thrive on parties. They meet people, crack jokes, bitch about people, fish for dates, and get laid eventually. There goes a major point.
More about gay people socializing. They meet friends with their friends and hang out at cafés and go out for dinners and cheesy movies where they laugh and make comments at slap-stick comedy and melodrama. They shed tears when hollywood/bollywood divas succeed in their quests to find love (on screen, of course). They enjoy doing all this as part of groups. I don't.
Gay men enjoy musicals (like Mama Mia, the Sound of Music), movies based on high fashion (SATC). They hate action movies like the Expendables , sci-fi movies like Predators, and cartoon movies like Up. They watch drama on television as if their lives depended on it. They love classic (read gentle) pop music and dance to Bollywood tunes like their lives depended on it.
Gay people take care of themselves. They groom and keep themselves physically attractive all the time. They wear fashionable clothes in line with the latest in fashion. They visit the gym religiously and have the term 'six-pack' listed under abs and not beer.
This list could go on and on. I find myself as the most 'ungay' gay man amongst the people I know. This has resulted in me confining myself to my apartment weekend after weekend, making me unable to find anybody to be with or have sex with, thus making me lead quite miserable 'social' life.
You could say that my 'ungayness' isn't helping me at all.
I'm not into socializing. I don't go well with parties anymore. This is well documented in a recent post about a party that I went to after being invited by the same friend who asked me the abovementioned existential question. Gay people thrive on parties. They meet people, crack jokes, bitch about people, fish for dates, and get laid eventually. There goes a major point.
More about gay people socializing. They meet friends with their friends and hang out at cafés and go out for dinners and cheesy movies where they laugh and make comments at slap-stick comedy and melodrama. They shed tears when hollywood/bollywood divas succeed in their quests to find love (on screen, of course). They enjoy doing all this as part of groups. I don't.
Gay men enjoy musicals (like Mama Mia, the Sound of Music), movies based on high fashion (SATC). They hate action movies like the Expendables , sci-fi movies like Predators, and cartoon movies like Up. They watch drama on television as if their lives depended on it. They love classic (read gentle) pop music and dance to Bollywood tunes like their lives depended on it.
Gay people take care of themselves. They groom and keep themselves physically attractive all the time. They wear fashionable clothes in line with the latest in fashion. They visit the gym religiously and have the term 'six-pack' listed under abs and not beer.
This list could go on and on. I find myself as the most 'ungay' gay man amongst the people I know. This has resulted in me confining myself to my apartment weekend after weekend, making me unable to find anybody to be with or have sex with, thus making me lead quite miserable 'social' life.
You could say that my 'ungayness' isn't helping me at all.
Why isn't there a gay bar in Mumbai?
Jesus, this is pain. I am on my first GB party in about 6 months. I'm there alone and loud music is blaring through the speakers. Twinks and queens are dancing away to glory. Friends who came with friends are busy talking between themselves. There is a lone television set which is giving me company. It's showing the highlights from yesterdays World Cup matches. There are barstools placed just in front of the television set and people come and plop on them without a care about people watching the match.
I have a small whiskey in my hands and I'm taking my sweet little time to finish it because everything else is so boring. After I finish the drink, I decide I have had enough and get out of the venue out to the street hoping that there would be someone like me who has gotten tired of what's happening inside. There is no one.
Then I see the main coordinator of these parties walk in. He asks me how I'm feeling. I said I'm bored to death and am planning to leave. He suggests that I head off to the lounge were there is place to sit and there is no loud music. Apparently it's up the stairs. I walk up to enter this weird looking room with an 8-feet roof. Couches are splattered near the walls. I curl up in one hoping that at least internet will save me.
No, I was wrong. This place doesn't even have a signal. All I can do is to order for another drink and type in a blog post. So if an interesting person doesn't show up by the time I finish my drink, I'm so out of this place heading home to watch the England vs. USA match!
This brings me to the question - why doesn't Mumbai have a decent gay bar? A place where people can meet up and talk. Not dance. Conversation and drinks. Like the old-fashioned gay hangouts that you see in movies? I have proposed my friend and restauranter this idea. He's thinking about. Hope something comes out of it.
By the way I'm coming back home from this nightmare called the GB party!
I have a small whiskey in my hands and I'm taking my sweet little time to finish it because everything else is so boring. After I finish the drink, I decide I have had enough and get out of the venue out to the street hoping that there would be someone like me who has gotten tired of what's happening inside. There is no one.
Then I see the main coordinator of these parties walk in. He asks me how I'm feeling. I said I'm bored to death and am planning to leave. He suggests that I head off to the lounge were there is place to sit and there is no loud music. Apparently it's up the stairs. I walk up to enter this weird looking room with an 8-feet roof. Couches are splattered near the walls. I curl up in one hoping that at least internet will save me.
No, I was wrong. This place doesn't even have a signal. All I can do is to order for another drink and type in a blog post. So if an interesting person doesn't show up by the time I finish my drink, I'm so out of this place heading home to watch the England vs. USA match!
This brings me to the question - why doesn't Mumbai have a decent gay bar? A place where people can meet up and talk. Not dance. Conversation and drinks. Like the old-fashioned gay hangouts that you see in movies? I have proposed my friend and restauranter this idea. He's thinking about. Hope something comes out of it.
By the way I'm coming back home from this nightmare called the GB party!
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