"I’ve outlived my dick" - A Poem - by Willie Nelson

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That day

That day I made a promise
That I'd write a song for him
One month later, I'm far from keeping it

That day was the end of winter
In a noisy old hotel in Delhi
And now, I'm sweating in summer heat of Mumbai

That day, I wasn't lying
To a very dear friend of mine
And now, I'm waiting for him online

That day seems so far away
When I will see him again
And now, I'm waiting for that day again

To be able to survive

This is another FB poem that is shaping up as we speak.

I don't know if I will be able to survive | There are so many things from which to hide |

I don't know if I will be able to survive | There are so many things that I have left by the side |

I don't know if I will be able to survive | There are so many people to be beside |

I don't know if I will be able to survive | There is so much to do, and no one by my side |

I don't know if I will be able to survive | Missing you so much, and you are not by my side |

I don't know if I will be able to survive | With the foreignness of the truth about which I lied |

A friend I'll never forget

This is another song that I have just started writing. The last two lines of the first verse have been contributed by Vinokur. Both this and the song below have been inspired by status messages on FaceBook. FaceBook statuses aren't that bad after all.

‘What will you do tomorrow - write a song about me?’
I had said yes, but I haven’t yet
The words will come and the song will be
An ode to a friend that I’ll never forget

What I did today was to think about him
To reminisce the wonderful moments spent
And the words came along and the song is now
An ode to a friend that I’ll never forget

What I will do tomorrow, even I don’t know
I’ll hope for more such moments of fun and frolic
And the words have come and the song is now
An ode to a friend that I’ll never forget

How do such friends come along – that no one knows
How lucky I am to be with them – that only I know
How happy I was with him – that everyone can see
How glad I would be with him – that only time would tell

My only defense

This is a song that I have just started writing. My friend Athiran contributed the last two lines of the first verse.

Don’t know what I should do now
Be myself or hide behind a pretense
Feel I should call him now
The pain I feel is so intense

Let’s blame it on love
Baby, that’s my only defense

Someone suggested to me
‘Be yourself, that’s the easiest way’
I swear by that rule, and hey
Have followed it scrupulously to date

Let’s blame this on them
Baby, that’s my only defense

I wait for an hour or two
Before calling him twice
I get no answer either time
Must’ve been busy, I pay the price

Let’s blame it on the situation
Baby, that’s my only defense

Hoping for a call or a message back
I stay up until half past one
I still haven’t heard from him
Must be sleeping now, like a baby

Let’s blame it on the distance
Baby, that’s my only defense

Much like a cuckoo

The morning went to plan
Until I get a call from him
Was he changing his plan?
Was it just me, or was it him?

I call him, my heart's in my mouth
Unfortunately, it's not a clear line
I hear his voice, he asks
'Is everything going to plan?'

I breathe a sigh of relief
I told him everything's just fine
I need to have more self-belief
Just to be myself, I'm fine

The morning went well,
The afternoon did too,
When the evening came, well
I was much like a cuckoo

The workday went a little too busy
My workmates were all happy for me
All of the wished me the very best
They wanted to see me happy, after all

At the very end of the day
My boss called me in the cabin
We discussed something important
And we shook hands and parted with a smile

It is my first vacation from work
In two years and a little more
I went back to my desk thinking about it
And my heart was back in my mouth

The morning went well,
The afternoon did too,
When the evening came, well
I was much like a cuckoo

Waiting For You (Part 3)

I don't know what's happening to me
I'm nervous and jittery, its plain obvious for everyone to see
A bunch of butterflies have taken refuge in my tummy
Madonna and Trent Reznor aren't helping me take it easy

Waiting for a word from him
Waiting for a call from him
Waiting to hear his voice
Waiting to hear him say 'yes'

Every moment that passes does ever so slowly
Every time I refresh my inbox our when my phone vibrates
My heart goes into a flutter
Don't know if I can pull down the shutter

All this in the hope that
Every moment that I'll spend with him
Will be making up for these anxious moments
All this in the hope that
Every moment that I spend waiting
Will be rewarded by something special

Laughter and Jokes

How wonderful is to make you laugh
To see you gush, to see you blush
How wonderful is to make your life
To see you smile, to see you blush

How wonderful is to make you laugh
To see you forget, the pain in your life
How wonderful is to grace your life
To see you open wide and wide

Laughter and jokes aside
What’s there left of life?
Laughter and jokes aside
What’s there to live for?

In a year's time, he said

You eased into my life that day
When you joked about me getting hit by a car and dying
I wasn't quite sure of it then
But I made sure I didn't get hit

You eased into my life that day
When we went on and on entertaining each other with our wit
I wasn't quite sure of it then
And we made sure we didn't fall in love

You eased out of my life the next day
Saying that I had the chance once and I'd failed to grab it
I wasn't sure what I had missed
I am not sure about it now either

You eased back into my life today
Saying you were unwell and had a terrible period of ill health
I wasn't sure how bad it was
And you gave me vague answers

You eased back into my life today
We joked about for quite awhile until I had to say goodbye to you
I wasn't sure if he'd be my mate
And you wished me well in my endeavor

You'd eased back into my life today
When we decided playfully that in a year's time, if we both were single, we would take it up again
I am not sure if we were joking about it
I won't be until the coming Jan 30th

Happiness, Beauty, Creativity, Apprehension

Happiness lies in what's inside of you
You need not search for it, else you may fail
Happiness lies in what you choose to be
You need not search for it, for once let it grow

Beauty lies in what's inside of you
You need not look for it, it's in your mind
Beauty lies in what you choose to see
You need not look for it, it's there to be seen

Creativity lies in what's inside of you
You don't search for it, it's in yourself
Creativity lies in what you choose to make
You don't search for it, it's already there inside

Apprehension lies in what's inside you
You need not hide it, it's in your mind
Apprehension lies in what you choose to be blind to
You need to hide it, otherwise it grows inside

Blue Lies (2011)

You were spinning right in front of my eyes
I couldn't hold on to you tight
You were spinning out of control
I couldn't save you, you were addicted

You picked me up from the crowd
And rushed toward me with tears in your eyes
You embraced me in front of the crowd
I couldn't believe it, I was addicted

Addicted to your blue eyes
Addicted to them blue pills
Addicted to your blue eyes
Addicted to them blue lies

And it between all this, you wrote to me
Dear, I think I can't take this no more
And in between all this, you wrote to me
Dear, I think I love him a little more

You were trembling in front of my eyes
From happiness or disbelief, I didn't know
You were trembling on the way to our house
I wasn't so sure, you were addicted

You were making love to me ever so tenderly
Was it love, I'm sure it was
You were making love to me ever so passionately
I couldn't believe it, I was addicted

Addicted to your blue eyes
Addicted to them blue pills
Addicted to your blue eyes
Addicted to them blue lies

And in between all this, I cried to you
Dear, I think I can't take this no more
And in between all this, I cried to you
Dear, I think can't bear this anymore

My Addiction

I can't see, I can't breathe, I can't lay still, without the sight of you
I can't scream, I can't fight, I can't play cool, without you being there
I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't stay still, without the sight of you
I can't dream, oh my plight, I'm such a fool, without you saying hey

Like dark chocolate
Like a cup of latte
Like a glass of scotch
Like an OCD
So hard to shake you off

My addiction, it's a contradiction
My addiction, it defies deaddiction
My addiction, it feels like corruption
My addiction, no one's jurisdiction

I can't feel, I can't shield, I can't bear it all, without you inside me
I can't leave, I can't move, I can't just live, without you being there
I can steal, but I can't give, I can't keep up, without you inside me
I can't plea, I can't flee, I can't but slide, without you saying hey

Like dark chocolate
Like a cup of latte
Like a glass of scotch
Like an OCD
So hard to shake you off

My addiction, it's a contradiction
My addiction, it defies deaddiction
My addiction, it feels like corruption
My addiction, no one's jurisdiction

Faithless?

Turn around and you will see me
My loving words will echo in your ears forever
Play around and you will miss me
My loving words may not have a recipient anymore

Walk around and you will see me
My loving words echoing in others ears
Look around and you will see not just me
But everyone in this phase forever

Why do we like playing around?
Because it reminds us of our childhood?
Why do we like flirting around?
Because it reminds us of our childhood?
Why do we like to misbehave?
Because it reminds us of our childhood?
Why can't we seem to accept the truth?
Because it reminds us of our childhood?

You were around to see me play
But will you be around to see my cry?
You were around to see me display my charms
But will you be around to see me lie?

What I Have Lost

This is a song I wrote at the Juhu beach one fine evening when I took my guitar with me. This was back in October 2010. Of course, it's about me and Vinokur.

What I Have Lost (2010)

I look back, to see what I've lost
I lay back, to feel it rush in fast
Eight half past, the waves are gushing past
The past oh past, I'm sure it didn't last forever, and ever

I'm here all by myself
And you have moved on fast
And I feel what I have lost
It's so hard to make it/you past

I'm back, to the time that I was lost
I hold back, the world spins so fast
Third year at last, the masterplan has crashed
It had to crash, because we made sure it didn't last forever, and ever

I'm here all by myself
And you have moved on so fast
And I feel what I have lost
It's so hard to make it/you past

Life and Love

Life is a misery, your soul is sold
She is a lost cause, you are getting old
Life is a parody, your hope is restored
It's lonely path, you ain't growing up

You are the travesty that the world should never see
Your are the ignonimity that the world should never see
You are the mediocrity that the world should never see
You are the nothing that the world loves to ignore

Love is a misery, your heart is sold
She is a lost cause, you are getting cold
Love is a parody, my hope is destroyed
It's a tricky path, you ain't moving forward

You are the majesty that the world always bows before
You are the firefly that the children run behind
You are the amnesty that the world hides behind
You are the nothing that the world loves to akcnowledge

Choose your path carefully as
You are always alone in life and love

Waiting for you

Winter afternoon, as time slowly passes by
Whisper in my ear, your face flashes past
Within me a feeling of pleasure, it persists
Without you this feeling would never exist

Hold me in your arms, kiss me with your charms
Feel me with your hands, give me all you have

Wanting for this moment to stay forever and long
Waiting for your lips to push me down strong
Wishing that us and this would be real, really soon
Waiting, if only it would be sooner than soon

Hold me in your arms, kiss me with your charms
Feel me with your hands, give me all you have

Free me, feed me, kiss me, kill me

You may not be what I had in my mind
You may have come up from behind
You have always been far from being kind
You have always been that, I don’t mind

Feel me inside out, it your only chance
Drown me down and out, it’s a fat chance
Feel my breath, it’s not happenstance, you
Drowned me in your charm, as per plan

Free me, feed me, kiss me, kill me
Free me, feed me, cuss me, kill me

Love no Superman

The Café, cool breeze flew past
You too, but you were on fire
Curiosity, Looked back at the sky
Started singing with my fingers

At the town square, saving lives
Not quite, but at least a head
Wanted to jot down a story,
You showed me kryptonite

Hush hush Mary Jane,
He's from another galaxy
Of red dwarves and black holes
Slow down Mary Jane
He ain't human
Can't love without no soul

The cognac was smooth, in chalice
I was drowning, smoothly done in
Krypton calling, so far away
A few hours, at the speed of light

The galaxy had brilliant son
Black holes were rumbling, but
Waiting to devour kryptonite
Got traded in, cheaper than gravel

Hush hush Mary Jane,
He's from another galaxy
Of red dwarves and black holes
Slow down Mary Jane
He ain't human
Can't love without no soul

I felt I was flying, without a cape
Was there a world to save?
The cries, and 'why's still linger
I made a mistake, you were Superman

Man Lust

Why are men so attractive?
The cologne, the musk
The rough and tender touch

Why are men so unstoppably attractive?
The stubble, the lust
The clean and defined crust

Why are men so insatiably attractive?
The balls, the cock
The neat trimmed manly chest

Why are men so incredibly hot?
Ain't hard, ain't bad
The chemicals in you and a horny mind

Love Pact

Two people in love like no other
Must realize that not much further
They will fall out of love for each other
That's no shame, it's quite natural

To ease the pain, my fellow lovers
Won't you listen to me, and consider
To make a pact, preamble, for each other
For when there ain't love, for the other

Put it down, when you still love each other
Your words will be kind and gentle, no bother
A play, a poem, some prose, oh whatever
To try and make it last forever

And act it out, without each other
When you have time sans the other
Because all that matters are the words, my lovers
And I know you love each other, like no other