You are things, yet you aren't

You are tired, yet you have to fulfill your promise.

You feel sleepy, yet you dread being unable to fall asleep.

You had a good day at work, yet you feel like you’re going to feel exhausted even tomorrow evening.

You are a musician, yet you can’t find the energy to work on finishing songs.

You are, all of a sudden, a sketcher/drawer, yet you are aware that it is yet another skillset that will take years of slow skill building to overcome amateur-ness.

You are lying on the couch with your cat by your side, yet you don’t see how comfortable others might think your life is.

You switch off the TV because watching feels like work, yet your writing is work that you are switching to.

You are in winter (in Bombay), yet you feel the almost imperceptible sweltering swelling up.

You learn every day, yet the realization that there’s even more that you haven’t learned that you will not get to learn gets deeper.

You read and marvel at the words of others, yet you can’t seem to picture reciprocation in any realistic way.

You pack your evening with plans, yet you feel your life remains empty because the plans leave behind nothing substantial.

You take pride in being a friend, someone who cares and makes people comfortable, yet you don’t create opportunities to work your skillset.

You want love, yet you shy away from giving, which you know is one sure way of taking.

Through Love’s Great Power - A Poem by Vikram Seth

Vikram Seth just sent this to the Times of India. It's a poem on the Supreme Court ruling on Section 377, recriminalizing homosexualilty in India.

Through love’s great power to be made whole
In mind and body, heart and soul –
Through freedom to find joy, or be
By dint of joy itself set free
In love and in companionhood:
This is the true and natural good.

To undo justice, and to seek
To quash the rights that guard the weak –
To sneer at love, and wrench apart
The bonds of body, mind and heart
With specious reason and no rhyme:
This is the true unnatural crime.

Vikram Seth

Forward it to those who matter.

http://krishnakumarv.tumblr.com/post/74921327602/through-loves-great-power-through-loves-great

A friend I'll never forget

This is another song that I have just started writing. The last two lines of the first verse have been contributed by Vinokur. Both this and the song below have been inspired by status messages on FaceBook. FaceBook statuses aren't that bad after all.

‘What will you do tomorrow - write a song about me?’
I had said yes, but I haven’t yet
The words will come and the song will be
An ode to a friend that I’ll never forget

What I did today was to think about him
To reminisce the wonderful moments spent
And the words came along and the song is now
An ode to a friend that I’ll never forget

What I will do tomorrow, even I don’t know
I’ll hope for more such moments of fun and frolic
And the words have come and the song is now
An ode to a friend that I’ll never forget

How do such friends come along – that no one knows
How lucky I am to be with them – that only I know
How happy I was with him – that everyone can see
How glad I would be with him – that only time would tell

My only defense

This is a song that I have just started writing. My friend Athiran contributed the last two lines of the first verse.

Don’t know what I should do now
Be myself or hide behind a pretense
Feel I should call him now
The pain I feel is so intense

Let’s blame it on love
Baby, that’s my only defense

Someone suggested to me
‘Be yourself, that’s the easiest way’
I swear by that rule, and hey
Have followed it scrupulously to date

Let’s blame this on them
Baby, that’s my only defense

I wait for an hour or two
Before calling him twice
I get no answer either time
Must’ve been busy, I pay the price

Let’s blame it on the situation
Baby, that’s my only defense

Hoping for a call or a message back
I stay up until half past one
I still haven’t heard from him
Must be sleeping now, like a baby

Let’s blame it on the distance
Baby, that’s my only defense

Much like a cuckoo

The morning went to plan
Until I get a call from him
Was he changing his plan?
Was it just me, or was it him?

I call him, my heart's in my mouth
Unfortunately, it's not a clear line
I hear his voice, he asks
'Is everything going to plan?'

I breathe a sigh of relief
I told him everything's just fine
I need to have more self-belief
Just to be myself, I'm fine

The morning went well,
The afternoon did too,
When the evening came, well
I was much like a cuckoo

The workday went a little too busy
My workmates were all happy for me
All of the wished me the very best
They wanted to see me happy, after all

At the very end of the day
My boss called me in the cabin
We discussed something important
And we shook hands and parted with a smile

It is my first vacation from work
In two years and a little more
I went back to my desk thinking about it
And my heart was back in my mouth

The morning went well,
The afternoon did too,
When the evening came, well
I was much like a cuckoo

Waiting For You (Part 3)

I don't know what's happening to me
I'm nervous and jittery, its plain obvious for everyone to see
A bunch of butterflies have taken refuge in my tummy
Madonna and Trent Reznor aren't helping me take it easy

Waiting for a word from him
Waiting for a call from him
Waiting to hear his voice
Waiting to hear him say 'yes'

Every moment that passes does ever so slowly
Every time I refresh my inbox our when my phone vibrates
My heart goes into a flutter
Don't know if I can pull down the shutter

All this in the hope that
Every moment that I'll spend with him
Will be making up for these anxious moments
All this in the hope that
Every moment that I spend waiting
Will be rewarded by something special

Laughter and Jokes

How wonderful is to make you laugh
To see you gush, to see you blush
How wonderful is to make your life
To see you smile, to see you blush

How wonderful is to make you laugh
To see you forget, the pain in your life
How wonderful is to grace your life
To see you open wide and wide

Laughter and jokes aside
What’s there left of life?
Laughter and jokes aside
What’s there to live for?

My Addiction

I can't see, I can't breathe, I can't lay still, without the sight of you
I can't scream, I can't fight, I can't play cool, without you being there
I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't stay still, without the sight of you
I can't dream, oh my plight, I'm such a fool, without you saying hey

Like dark chocolate
Like a cup of latte
Like a glass of scotch
Like an OCD
So hard to shake you off

My addiction, it's a contradiction
My addiction, it defies deaddiction
My addiction, it feels like corruption
My addiction, no one's jurisdiction

I can't feel, I can't shield, I can't bear it all, without you inside me
I can't leave, I can't move, I can't just live, without you being there
I can steal, but I can't give, I can't keep up, without you inside me
I can't plea, I can't flee, I can't but slide, without you saying hey

Like dark chocolate
Like a cup of latte
Like a glass of scotch
Like an OCD
So hard to shake you off

My addiction, it's a contradiction
My addiction, it defies deaddiction
My addiction, it feels like corruption
My addiction, no one's jurisdiction

Faithless?

Turn around and you will see me
My loving words will echo in your ears forever
Play around and you will miss me
My loving words may not have a recipient anymore

Walk around and you will see me
My loving words echoing in others ears
Look around and you will see not just me
But everyone in this phase forever

Why do we like playing around?
Because it reminds us of our childhood?
Why do we like flirting around?
Because it reminds us of our childhood?
Why do we like to misbehave?
Because it reminds us of our childhood?
Why can't we seem to accept the truth?
Because it reminds us of our childhood?

You were around to see me play
But will you be around to see my cry?
You were around to see me display my charms
But will you be around to see me lie?

What I Have Lost

This is a song I wrote at the Juhu beach one fine evening when I took my guitar with me. This was back in October 2010. Of course, it's about me and Vinokur.

What I Have Lost (2010)

I look back, to see what I've lost
I lay back, to feel it rush in fast
Eight half past, the waves are gushing past
The past oh past, I'm sure it didn't last forever, and ever

I'm here all by myself
And you have moved on fast
And I feel what I have lost
It's so hard to make it/you past

I'm back, to the time that I was lost
I hold back, the world spins so fast
Third year at last, the masterplan has crashed
It had to crash, because we made sure it didn't last forever, and ever

I'm here all by myself
And you have moved on so fast
And I feel what I have lost
It's so hard to make it/you past

The best jerk

Oh please, would you please, stop it, you bastard
It's not as if the world around you is deaf
What you do does indeed go with the groove of Morcheeba
But that's no excuse to go on and on, so tirelessly

Like a jerk, like an asshole
Like a fucked up pretentious fool

You look back at me and scream as if I'm responsible
It's part of your 'job', as you always claimed it to be
Don't let your dirt spill out like a leak in the toilet
Don't let your hands push on this monster, creating a racket

Like a jerk, like an asshole
Like a fucked up pretentious fool

You are more jerky than a motorized saw
You don't know how to ride this monster
You better quit what you are doing
You better stop what you are doing

Life and Love

Life is a misery, your soul is sold
She is a lost cause, you are getting old
Life is a parody, your hope is restored
It's lonely path, you ain't growing up

You are the travesty that the world should never see
Your are the ignonimity that the world should never see
You are the mediocrity that the world should never see
You are the nothing that the world loves to ignore

Love is a misery, your heart is sold
She is a lost cause, you are getting cold
Love is a parody, my hope is destroyed
It's a tricky path, you ain't moving forward

You are the majesty that the world always bows before
You are the firefly that the children run behind
You are the amnesty that the world hides behind
You are the nothing that the world loves to akcnowledge

Choose your path carefully as
You are always alone in life and love

Intercontinental drift

When I woke up
There were messages waiting for me
When I sipped up
There were adulations waiting for me
When I looked up
There was a handsome face staring at me
When I dressed up
There were sartorial suggestions waiting for me

When I wait up
There were messages waiting to be read
When I climbed up
There were words waiting to be heard
When I dialed up
There was a loving voice waiting to be heard
When I gave up
There was a tender voice waiting to be heard

When I hooked up
There were words of wisdom for me
When I hung up
There was a soul who was dialng for me
When I rung up
There was a soul waiting for me
When I lived up
There was a soul waiting for me

When he hooked up
There was nothing from my end
When he fucked up
There was nothing from my end
When he was sucked up
There was nothing from my end
When we hung up
There was nothing from my end

Tainted freedom

You and me, were meant to be free
For this plea, a gigantic fee
Lay by me, and hear a story free
Here are we, we've let us be

And now, we have done something that is truly incredible
And how, we have slain something that is truly incredible

Come on and share with me this feeling of freedom
Come on and play with me, for our healing and friendship
Come on and share with me this feeling of sadness
Come on and play with me, for our healing and friendship

You and me, we've set us free
For this dream, a gigantic fee
Lay by me, in my dreams
Here we are, we'll always be

And now, we have done something truly incredible
And now, we have slain something truly incredible

Come on and share with me this feeling of freedom
Come on and play with me, for our healing and friendship
Come on and share with me this feeling of sadness
Come on and play with me, for our healing and friendship

It was our fault, not yours or mine

It's not really your fault
If you let my life grind to halt
It's not really your fault
You are in amor's gestalt

It's not really my fault
That I didn't see the fault (line)
It's not really my fault
I was an optimist, by default

It's not really your fault
And you deserve what you got
It's not really your fault
But I didn't deserve what I got

It's not really my fault
That I hoped that it'll last (forever)
It's not really my fault
That i hoped this will pass

It's really our fault
That we let it happen so fast
It's really our fault
That there was no pact

Promiscuity of the Soul

This poem was written by Vinokur and was inspired by my colleauge SS. Thanks to both!

There is, of course, the promiscuity of flesh -
reviled or celebrated through the ages.

There is, as well, a promiscuity of the soul.
It madly, blindly, greedily grasps at life.

From this multiplicity, this frenzied fielding of efforts,
good or bad ensues:

Confusion, incompletion, frustration, sorrow, wreckage.
And, finally,
madness.

Or multi-faceted genius
steeped in knowledge, experience, wisdom.
It wins the Nobel Prize.
Is hailed, admired by all.

What determines
which it will be?
Biochemistry.

Forgetful self

I forget, I can't forgive myself
I fidget, I can't control myself
I'm upset, I can't free myself
I molest, I can't stop myself

I regret, I can't mould myself
I fret, I can't unlearn myself
I'm my pet, I can't teach myself
I let, I can't blame myself

Will I get, some peace myself?

Man Lust

Why are men so attractive?
The cologne, the musk
The rough and tender touch

Why are men so unstoppably attractive?
The stubble, the lust
The clean and defined crust

Why are men so insatiably attractive?
The balls, the cock
The neat trimmed manly chest

Why are men so incredibly hot?
Ain't hard, ain't bad
The chemicals in you and a horny mind

Love Pact

Two people in love like no other
Must realize that not much further
They will fall out of love for each other
That's no shame, it's quite natural

To ease the pain, my fellow lovers
Won't you listen to me, and consider
To make a pact, preamble, for each other
For when there ain't love, for the other

Put it down, when you still love each other
Your words will be kind and gentle, no bother
A play, a poem, some prose, oh whatever
To try and make it last forever

And act it out, without each other
When you have time sans the other
Because all that matters are the words, my lovers
And I know you love each other, like no other

The Floating Doll

The smile. Innocence puppetified?

The eyes. Shallowness immortalized?
The dimples. Too dramatized?
Thin arms. Too thin and rarefied?

The scene, all the dirt is justified
The act. Can it be classified?
The drain. All guts clarified?
The pain. Not one's satisfied!

And now, its allegorified
Is she me, demagnified?
Am I her, dissatisfied?
This life. Am I too qualified?

I'm afloat, perhaps unjustified
For reasons well publicized
Due to pills well advertised
I hope it's all justified.