Gig vs Gay party

So, tonight, I paid the price of having two jobs. I had to ‘work’ on a night when the biggest gay party of the year (perhaps – the venue was Blue Frog, and it featured man performances by LGBT artists – I was even invited to perform my songs). Yes, I have a gig with Cirkles at Not Just Jazz By The Bay (which has been apparently renamed as Pizza by the Bay).

I don’t think I should be complaining too much. It’s fun to play in Cirkles and Saturday night crowds at Jazz are always fun. Plus, I’m earning some money. But I would still miss a wonderful party – my friend at office had plans to go and was inviting me. But that’s life and I had to choose ‘work’ over ‘play’.

Date Night

Since yesterday didn’t work out, I decided that that was it. I need to break out of my social celibacy. Plus, a date - A ‘dinner/conversation date which would go on to the party and then we would see from there’ date. It was a semi-blind date – a friend of a dear friend of mine – the same guy that hadn’t got my jokes. I was apprehensive to say the least.

So, I went and met this guy and we had dinner over whiskey/vodka. The conversation was not the most brilliant and it was more one-sided than you expect a date to ideally be. Throw in some weird concepts and ideologies, it wasn’t far too entertaining or interesting.

From there, we went on to the party, where I met my dear friend, who gave me some respite. We went on to wine and beer at the party, but the conversation never took off. However, I got to know three interesting facts during the night: 1, Picasso painted realism fantastically :-O; 2, Lady Gaga played good piano; and 3, Not Just Jazz By the Bay used to a gay cruising place.

What this means is that I just have one guy on the radar. The funny guy!

Bar Night that got canceled

This afternoon, I got the sudden urge to break my social celibacy by going to a ‘bar night’ at a new venue. I coaxed my friend and colleague to come with me to check out the new venue and cruise men. He agreed. I also decided to invite a few of my straight colleagues from work. Three of them agreed too!

It was all set. It was a new place. I was excited.

Alas, in the evening, around 6.30, I came to know that the party was canceled. And they hadn’t even announced it on the FaceBook page or anything (or I hadn’t seen it). This is outrageous and disappointing. :(

Directions to the TV9 office

This is a google map view showing the road route to reach MIDC area close to the TV9 office. If you need any help in locating the office, please call on the following number.

9820521108

Finalized plan for the protest against TV9

(Details courtesy Pallav Patankar)

ACTIVITY PLAN

Address:
TV9 Media Maharashtra Pvt.Ltd.
110, Silver House, 13th cross road, MIDC, Andheri East
Mumbai, India
Time : 5.30 pm -8.00 pm

Activity:
We can start individually/in groups to TV 9 offices from 5.30 pm onwards. Pallav , Sonal , Vivek Anand , Gautam Yadav (others welcome) will carry letters of protest to TV9 at 5.30 pm. We will present ourselves at the reception desk and politely ask for the higher most authority present in the office. If we are successful in meeting him/her , we will handover the letters of protest. Currently the letters issued will be from QAM, HST, INFOSEM mentioning the shameful act of TV9 Telegu. We will hand over white flowers to the official. All those who wish to protest can come with a letter and white flowers (of any sort) and present their letters at the reception.

Each one can can ask for the highest ranking official in TV9 present and give their letters of protest. The higher the number of protests and protest letters the better.

Code Of Conduct:

1. There shall be no violence , aggression or bad language used in TV9 offices.
2. Please be appropriately dressed.
3. Conduct should be graceful and explanation as to why we are protesting should be given.
4. Each group that enters can decide if they wish to take other TV crews along while registering the protest.
5. Post depositing our letters at the reception desk we can continue to congregate outside the premises and display banners, as well as sing the song “Aaaj kal tere mere pyaar ke charchey har jabaan par “(we sang this on 2nd July Azaad Maidan)

Peaceful protest against TV9 Hyderabad

This is a "copy-paste" of the details of the protest against TV9 from an LGBT mailing list. Credits go to Sibi Mathen.

TV9's slanderous and malicious story of gaymen of Hyderabad and Planet Romeo is a wake up call for the LGBTI community to make sure we don't let the media or any individual invade on our personal rights for dignity and privacy

Join us for a PEACEFUL protest at TV9 Maharashtra's office. Join us in huge numbers with banners, protest letters(to be given to the channel) and flowers (with a get well soon message)....no screaming, no violence, no Naarebaazi!!

Time : 7pm 5.30 to 8 pm

Date : Friday, 25th Feb 2011

Location : TV9 Media Maharashtra Pvt. Ltd.

110, Silver House, 13th cross road MIDC, Andheri East Mumbai - 400 093

Please be there on time. For any queries (directions etc) call 9820521108.

Send us your mails on unitedagainsttv9@gmail.com.

Please pass on this message to friends, even if you can't make it, and help spread the word around.

TV9 Hyderabad's evil exposé

Yesterday, TV9 Hyderabad's YouTube channel uploaded a video of a slanderouos, maligned news story titled "Gay culture rampant in Hyderabad." Apparently, undercover reporters from TV9 went to a gay party and covered it. They also created a fake profile on PlanetRomeo.com and called some of its users and recorded the conversations that they had with them. These were used along with private pictures of users on PlanetRomeo.

The LGBT community in India has united and has condemned these actions by the TV channel. The YouTube video has been flagged and YouTube has taken in down, and although I'm sure that this video will be uploaded at other locations soon, it is a positive step in protesting against the channel which has invaded the privacy of innocent people. The latest on the news story is that one student who was exposed in the news story has committed suicide. I don't have any official confirmation for the same.

Apparently, as a knee-jerk reactions, hundreds of members of PlanetRomeo have deleted/moved profiles and taken off their photos from the site. LGBT community members in Mumbai are planning a peaceful protest at the TV9 office in Mumbai on Friday. This will be against the ridiculous story run by the TV9 Telugu division. The details will be posted soon.

Please help the community in protesting against this serious issue of invasion of privacy. Thank you!

What you can do:

• Flag video/copies of the story online
• Write to the TV channel
• Express solidarity to our friends from Hyderabad
• By talking about this on various social media platforms
• By changing your FaceBook profile picture to a picture which displays protest to TV9
• By changing your Planet Romeo profile to "Hyderabad" and post your pictures on it
• Join the community in our peaceful protest against TV9 on Friday evening at TV9's office (Details on my next post)

Please do as much as you can. Let this be a movement to prevent such stupid journalism from raising its head again.

Straight date for a gay evening

I finally broke the jinx - I went out with the most beautiful woman that I know. That too, to a gay party. She is the aunt of my gay friend. It was a fundraiser party for the Queer Azadi March week. We met at the Bandra station. I was wearing a mix and match outfit with a kurta, jeans, and flip-flops. She was dressed as beautiful as ever in a saree and with a matching stole and shoes.

On our way to find a cab, one of the straps of her left shoe gave away. It was very embarrassing for her as she had never had a shoe-malfunction in any of her previous dates. We found a cab soon and got into it. However, the cabbie ran into his family by the roadside. He wanted to give them a ride back home and said that he'll find us a cab first.

My gracious and beautiful date was so kind, she let the cabbie's family travel with us - not only that she paid him a minimum fare too! I was moved by her kindness and generosity. In the second cab, we traveled to the venue of the party - Dios at Tardeo - the same venue where I had one too many drinks a couple of months at a birthday party where Cirkles were performing. On the way, we found a mochi (cobbler) and he managed to fix my date's shoes. We bought ourselves Kolhapuris as a backup for.

It turned out to be a good decision - one of the buckles on the shoe that my date was wearing came off as we were walking to the venue after getting out of the cab. We meet our common friend Dee at the entrance - he was surprised to see us two together!

It was just about 10.15 pm by the time we entered. We went up to realize that there were hardly any people at the party. I hardly knew anyone except for the male money-mongering whore who I had seen in a few other parties. We got ourselves a couple of beers and sat at a couch with a fantastic view of the moon in front of us and talked.

Soon, people started trickling in and my date found a lot of young men who she from FaceBook – yes, Facebook. She knows dozens of young men who seek her company and advice on FaceBook. She is a fantastic lady and she offers her heart and soul to all of these young gay men who don’t have acceptance in their families. That’s how awesome my date is.

I took a look around and I found a bunch of my friends from other parties. I hung out with some of them. I tried to work my humor, but some of them were so bitchy and shallow that they took offense. That’s part and parcel of humor and sarcasm, I guess. Then, I found my dear friend Craig who was hanging out with his usual bunch of friends. We bitched about like how we always do. We love each other so much!

Then, I saw this male-whore trying to butter up a cute looking Firangi. Not only did I want to talk to this Firangi, I also wanted him to be warned about this whore trying to extract money from him. So, as he made his way to the bar, I sneaked in and bumped into this white guy and warned him about the whore. After that, I hung around him to see if he would initiate a conversation with me.

He eventually did and we spent the entire rest of the evening talking to each other. I was a little worried about leaving my date alone, but she was having a good time with her boys. Before the party ended, I exchanged numbers with the Firangi guy and we decided to meet up the next evening.

On our way back, I was a little worried if my date had felt bad. But I guess she didn’t. So, it was a good evening outing. I should do this more often.

The Banana Bar experience

After many months, I ventured out to the open - to the world of socializing in gay-friendly venues. As usual, my friend Vik, who organizes a monthly party at the Banana Bar, sent me an SMS invite. I politely responded saying that I had a rehearsal and hence could not attend. Vik playfully replied saying that I could make it after the rehearsal. Honestly, I was not expecting any reply, certainly not such a spontaneous one.

Suddenly, I felt like taking the plunge. I asked him if he could arrange some daddies for me. He replied saying that some older men are always there at the party. My curiosity was completely aroused - a new venue and the prospect of using my highly polished skills of flirting were too tempting. But I still did not have a date. I tried asking my dear friend Shruts, but she wasn't sure of making it.

I decided to delay the decision until after the rehearsal, which was a boring affair without the drummer. I messaged Shruts to ask if she was making it while waiting for her reply decided to head to the party. Sharing the share rickshaw to Malad station with three other smelly men was the worst part of the evening and made me wonder if I was smelling alright - remember that I was going to party not dressed appropriately after 12 hours of work + rehearsals.

I reached the venue relatively late and was pleased to see Vik come up to me to greet me as I placed an order for a beer. He said I looked more like 'Krishna' because I was dressed in a kurta and had my hair tied up in a ponytail. I replied saying that I was 'Kris' tonight and let my hair loose.

Soon I spotted a couple of friends at the terrace and I walked across the dance floor to meet them. On the way, I ran into a friend who had a very special message for me - I can't divulge the information now, wait for it! Then, the first surprise of the evening came to hug me. Sandy, my friend, whose Dad had rented his apartment to me and Vinokur when he visited me, was there to celebrate her wonderful sister Susie's birthday!

I spent about half an hour catching up with Sandy, Susie, and their gang of friends. Sandy and I go back 5 years, back when I was jamming with Xander and S - that long back, yes! We were so happy to catch up with each other. We reminisced the wonderful days when we would jam with me on the guitar and Sandy on vocals - we used to cover Jason Wade from Lifehouse then!

After that, I set out on my Daddy hunt. I went back to Vik and asked him he had seen any come in. He said he had spotted a few but was not sure where they were. I looked around and all I could see was the one guy that I had already met at a personals site a few months back. But he was busy with his friends.

Thankfully, they were showing the highlights of the Test match between India and South Africa on a big screen. I grabbed another beer and started watching the match. And then, all of a sudden, entered a white daddy with his relatively older-looking Indian friend.

It didn't take me much long me to go over to him and start a conversation. And he turned out to be a great guy! So, Vik kept his promise! And I met a lot of my friends. All in all, it was fun. Looking forward to being there, next time around, hopefully with Shruts!

As for the environment and the ambience, I liked the place better than 'Karma' or 'Let's Scream', where GayBombay parties usually take place. The terrace is a welcome relief to people like me who hate dancing and love conversations. Plus, this place is visited by a bunch of very sexy lesbian girls! So, thumbs up for Banana Bar!

How 'ungay' am I?

One of my good friends asked me in an SMS early this morning - 'Are you still gay?' He was joking of course, or so I believe. However, in the present state of my mind, I think that question carries more significance and relevance than it seems to. How many 'gay' qualities do I possess -- more importantly, how many that I don't. Let's see.

I'm not into socializing. I don't go well with parties anymore. This is well documented in a recent post about a party that I went to after being invited by the same friend who asked me the abovementioned existential question. Gay people thrive on parties. They meet people, crack jokes, bitch about people, fish for dates, and get laid eventually. There goes a major point.

More about gay people socializing. They meet friends with their friends and hang out at cafés and go out for dinners and cheesy movies where they laugh and make comments at slap-stick comedy and melodrama. They shed tears when hollywood/bollywood divas succeed in their quests to find love (on screen, of course). They enjoy doing all this as part of groups. I don't.

Gay men enjoy musicals (like Mama Mia, the Sound of Music), movies based on high fashion (SATC). They hate action movies like the Expendables , sci-fi movies like Predators, and cartoon movies like Up. They watch drama on television as if their lives depended on it. They love classic (read gentle) pop music and dance to Bollywood tunes like their lives depended on it.

Gay people take care of themselves. They groom and keep themselves physically attractive all the time. They wear fashionable clothes in line with the latest in fashion. They visit the gym religiously and have the term 'six-pack' listed under abs and not beer.

This list could go on and on. I find myself as the most 'ungay' gay man amongst the people I know. This has resulted in me confining myself to my apartment weekend after weekend, making me unable to find anybody to be with or have sex with, thus making me lead quite miserable 'social' life.

You could say that my 'ungayness' isn't helping me at all.

Parties are not my kinda thing anymore

There was a time, a couple or years or so back, when I had a good time at parties -- especially gay parties. Of course, after coming to Mumbai, I was initiated to GB parties by a friend -- who himself is a surgeon, but is closeted. I had some acquaintances to talk to and things to talk about -- about my career as a surgeon, about my aspirations as a musician, about my wonderful relationship with Vinokur etc.

Things have changed much since then. In the last few parties or so, I have had the worst experiences of my life. I would stumble in, usually with a heartful of expectations, and find no one interesting. Soon, I'd be drinking down drinks while checking out stuff on the internet on my mobile. There might even be good cricket/football matches that I had left at home, the scores of which I would be checking furiously. No one would come talk to me -- of course, I wouldn't find anybody interesting to talk to too.

Occassionally, there would be a familiar face in the crowd, someone that I knew but wasn't close enough to hold a conversation with. I would usually go up to them and greet them and whine about the boring party. If there people who I knew better, I'd want to strike up a conversation with them, but they would need to cater to his other friends sooner than later. Finally, I'd be all alone with my mobile phone.

People have asked on occasions whom I was messaging. Of course, when I was in a relationship with Vinokur, I'd have been communicating with him in one way or the other. But now, I have no specific person to communicate with. So I'd be spending time on Twitter and FaceBook.

So what has changed? I have grown old, I have thrown away my surgical career, I've put on weight and grown hair all over, I have fallen out of my 'unbreakable' relationship with Vinokur, I am cagey with my mind full of insecurities, and my social phobia. But more importantly, is it a case of me changing as a person? From being a converted extrovert back to an introvert?

I don't know, but parties aren't my kinda thing anymore! Give me loneliness, give me internet, give me sport on television. I'm happy that way. Oh, I'm game for one-on-one dates still.