Uncertainties and Inconsistencies

Crossroads everywhere. Career, music, life.

It’s been yet another break. Months have passed and I have been stuck in my shell. Been working on things, as usual, but nothing to showcase.

I am a content creator. I was. Maybe I’m trying to be once again. Content creators are expected to be consistent in content generation and publishing.

At the top of every week, I make a list of things to focus on. I write “Write” and “Blog” like clockwork.

It’s been tough to admit defeat at the end of every week. Like many, I don’t like admitting defeat.

I learned some coding but it has already become just another thing for which I can beat myself up.

Also I finally had COVID. Mild to moderate symptoms. It has been a different experience, and I probably contracted it at a packed gig.

I had one of the most incredible experiences playing at that gig. I have been taking vocal lessons and I have been singing better than ever. Yet I have never felt closer to giving up on music.

Remember my decision to not be active on social media? The thing that musicians and content creators need to be good at to be successful. I continue to not be sensible.

Read a bunch of books. Watched a bunch of shows. I guess that’s what is occupying more of my time.

One TV show reference worth mentioning. Best Quality Vacuum. And I guess I want to pick up and say

“I need a dust filter for a Hoover Max extract pressure pro model 60. Can you help me with that?”

Things that I've been doing

I have not been blogging too much lately. It's not because I don't have things to write about. Rather, I don't feel that what I write is not going to be interesting enough for reading. I guess this is very much part of the negative thought loops associated with depression. I have been reading a couple of books about depression that have opened my mind about this.

This  post is about what I have been doing, apart from worrying/being depressed and working, in the past few months (from January 2014):

• Watching
• TV series
• Downton Abbey
• Game of Thrones (who doesn't?)
• Rome
• Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey
• SGU Stargate Universe
• Stargate SG1
• Sports/Entertainment
• Cricket (all kinds)
• Football (all of the World Cup 2014)
• Tennis (Wimbledon/French Open)
• Wrestling (WWE, TNA, and ROH)
• Movies
• Resident Evil 1, 2, 3 (2.5 out of the 5 movies)
• Stargate (1994)
• Transformers: The Age of Extinction
• Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
• The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (can't seem to finish it)
• Reading
• Finished
• Cat Sense: How the New Feline Science Can Make You a Better Friend to Your Pet
• Neanderthal
• 2BR02B
• Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
• Ender's Game
• Currently Reading
• Dune
• The Hindus: An Alternate History 
• Manage Your Day-To-Day: Build Your Routine, Find Your Focus, and Sharpen Your Creative Mind
• Kraken
• Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect
• Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy
• Guitar Exercises For Dummies
• Music Theory for Dummies

• Listening
• Podcasts
• The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe
• Ring Rust Radio
• Quirks and Quarks
•  
• Radio
• NPR: All Songs 24/7 Music Channel 
• Radio One 94.3
• BBC World Service
• BBC Radio 3
• BBC Radio 4
•  
• Shows:
• AT40 by Ryan Seacrest
• Books
• Ender's Game
• Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
• Learning
• History
•  A History of the World Since 1300
• A Brief History of Mankind (not finished)
• Some others that I've not finished
• Astronomy
• Some that I've not finished
•  Music
• Some that I've not finished
• Doing
• Music
• Learning new techniques on the guitar on YouTube (PapaStache, GuitarBlogUpdate)
• Learning some new techniques on the bass on YouTube (BassLessonsOnline, Jim Bennet, TalkingBass)
• Working on/recording new ideas
• Jamming/writing songs with a friend (in the first two months) 
• Traveling (to Jodhpur)
• Going to Museums
• Going out occasionally with the BF and friends

Crushes: William Shatner

Starting today, I will bring you celebrities who I have a crush on. Don’t be surprised, most will be movie stars from Australia, US, or UK who are really old now. They would most probably have had three or four wives. But they are still red hot in my book.

William Shatner. Or the incredibly sexy James T. Kirk, the captain of USS Enterprise, from Star Trek. Swoon!

(Picture courtesy: Wikipedia, TopNews)

TWiT.tv

I’m very much into radio, especially News/Talk radio. So, a few days back, I was browsing the list of stations under News/Talk radio on iTunes and I stumbled on this gem – the audio feed from TWiT.tv. Totally geeky, but fantastic content for those into internet, technology, and gadgets.

I also checked their online TV stream out – the radio stream is just the audio version of the TV stream – it streams beautifully even with my 1 MBPS cable connection.

You guys have to check this out. TWiT.tv. It’s my internet revelation of the year!

The Big heist

Everyone who's anyone must have seen and been intrigued by the 'See you at home soon' ads that have been going on in TV channels and newspapers. Well, okay. It was not the coolest of teasers. But still, it created enough curiosity inside me to wonder what's gonna be seen at home soon.

Yesterday, I realized that 'Big TV' was going to be seen at home soon. The ad sort of seemed to be a little hastily done (underdone) and reminded me of the rest of the Reliance stuff that I get to see.

Ysterday, as I was browsing through the Times of India when I casually stumbled on this news article. I have to say, I finally have a newfound respect for Reliance group. They have the spunk to go hunt down a competitor like the Mountain Dew Vs. Sprite fight!

Homo-eroticism

Today was a better day for my studies despite a dull, hot afternoon which went to waste thanks to another episode of sleepiness. I'm beginning to wonder if this exaggerated tiredness is due to depression or some nutritional deficiency. It could very well be and I guess I'll have to deal with it until I get the record label money comes in. What made an otherwise drab day were a couple of incidences of homo-eroticism.

I had gone out to buy my Rs. 20 dinner and on my way back I saw a middle aged man wanking his member by a pavement on a busy road in the heart of Andheri. Being a naturally trained voyeur, I was captivated by this 'show'. Initially I thought it was just another act of micturition but I'm sure it was more than that as this probably continued for about 3 minutes or so. I don't want to go into a vivid description but there was visible evidences of pleasure in what he was doing.

Don't drop your jaws. I'm sure everyone has a voyeur hidden inside. It's just that I'm honest enough to admit that I have fun doing this. My interest in it stems from the numerous exposures to the male genital organs in various settings during my childhood. In Kerala, this seems to be a norm; something the society happily accepts without protest. Not just men, but women too. But then, I never had a thing for women.

When I was having my dinner, I was browsing through the TV channels and I stumbled on to a Professional Wrestling show on Star Sports. Yes, I do enjoy Professional wrestling. Again, don't drop your jaws. I know it is all scripted and stuff. But, it has hot men. It's a treat to the gay eyes. Big muscular men with athleticism, power and grace.

Then I dropped my jaw. I saw a wrestler of Indian origin called 'Sonjay Dutt - The Guru'! I'm sure the media in India haven't caught up with the developments of the wrestling world. Judging by the hype that the Great Khali gets - full interviews and features of serious channels like NDTV - such a name should have got some attention.

Brothers and Sisters

I know that posting frequently within hours of each post qualifies myself as a loser with nothing better to do in my life. But I didn't plan this or anything. I am just being honest. I was just switching channels and I stumbled on this new favorite of mine; 'Brothers and sisters' on Star World. The show itself is captivating with a lot of relationship and gay threads in it. But what made me post this is the levels of masculine beauty in them. For the gerontophile in me, this is a revelation of self. I adore these men. And for the first time ever, I like the younger men better than the older men in a TV show! And these men, beat these gorgeous women, by miles!

These are their individual bust shots. I'd rate them according to wishable sleepability.

Rob Lowe (4 stars) Balthazar Getty (3 1/2 stars)Matthew Rhys (4 1/2 stars)Dave Annable (4 1/2 stars)Ron Rifkin (4 1/2 stars)Check the details of the show and cast here. What do y'all reckon?