An update about Neverlast

Blogging seems so late 2000s these days, at least for me.

Until about 6 years ago, around the time I met J, this blog used to be where I opened my heart out, and let loose all the shit that my brain came up with. I'm not suggesting that the outlet that I had on this blog has somehow been replaced by a man. No, not at all. Yet, I admit that we do have strange conversations. But that's not why I stopped writing here.

Life became packed. Dating someone within the same geographical boundaries means that your social life kinda doubles. Plus music. Gigs, rehearsals, gigs, and more. Plus, ever heard of social media and podcasts?

Yet, a few years ago, when I was visiting my parents in Thiruvananthapuram, I scratched that itch to write again. Write blogs, that is. I had just started exploring Tumblr and I thought, Why not? Tumblr had a nice app which you could easily draft posts in. It was more intuitive for sharing images/gifs. Why not, indeed? That's how Neverlast was born.

Strangely enough [with three heaped scoops of irony], Tumblr became my desirable source of erotica. Anyway, Tumblr, for some fucking reason, does not let you have multiple user accounts on the app. That was a huge dampner to my blogging efforts. Since then, I have linked  my Instagram to Tumblr, and Neverlast gets all my instas, yo.

Coming to the point -- I'm back with my parents. Some slight changes, though. They are in Chennai. My father is in his deathbed. My mother has become even more complaining and talkative than she was before. I'm here helping my sister out to manage my parents. I'm somehow able to meaningfully communicate and spend time with a child (my niece)! But I have become even more averse to talking on the phone to other people (like J) and share what craziness I'm going through.

This means that all day I go through an exquisitely frustrating ordeal of managing chaos, noise, interruptions, while attempting to work from home. This is indeed no fun. I get my shit together once my Mom goes to bed around 10 pm. And today, I have work to finish. So I took a shower to rinse myself off all the frustration. And in the shower, I thought - Why not, indeed?

So I am going to try and microblog on Neverlast once more. You are welcome to check it out.

Bookings done!

Juggling parents, work, music, and the boyfriend, and trying to give them adequate time can be quite a task. Especially, if you don't really know what talk about with your parents when you come home. Yet, in in the middle of all that, after confirmation from Joe (the boyfriend), I have finalized and made all the reservations for the year-end trip to South India.

We start from Mumbai, go to Goa, then to Thiruvananthapuram, then to Chennai, and finally back to Mumbai. Most of the traveling is by train because Joe wants to "experience" how Indians travel. Well, I hope it works out well because "how" Indians travel is not acceptable to most around the world.

Dreams from a weirdo mind/brain - part 2

I'll continue (read part 1) my series on dreams on this fine Independence Day morning. I must thank Vinokur for making me do this. He thinks recording dreams is one of the coolest things to do. This one is about about hydrophobia (or maybe aquaphobia as this Wiki article suggests). Not the kind that is associated with rabid dogs (or men for that matter).

The dark, menacing clouds were looming high over my head. It had been raining all throughout yesterday and today. The whole town was flooding. I knew I had to escape this. As I was pacing through the dirt-path, I remembered that I needed to cross the river; the angry, violent force of water. Across it lay the land of peace, happiness and freedom.

Soon, I’m greeted by the haunting sound of water. I knew that it was near, it was the test of my life. And I saw it! The wide, brooding body of water which had turned into a wild monster after all the torrential downfall. I was scared of reaching near enough to take a closer look at it. I ran for a mile or two along its side. It only got more threatening.

Then I saw it. The rope bridge strung across the couple of miles of madness was swaying in the wind. I walked slowly towards my destiny. I had to be strong. I had to prove myself. Soon I found myself walking on the rope bridge clinging to my life. I tried hard to not look down. The river seemed to have widened to the dimension of a lake but retains its ferocity. I wished if things were not so tough in my life.

Wondering what this is all about? Well, during my childhood, a traumatic one at that, my weekends were more painful. Incredible for a kid who goes to school, right? I'm not talking about you brats who enjoyed a memorable growing-up-time with a warm household to spend it in!

My mother had her share of problems with her in-laws to the extent that she had to go over to her folks place and spend the weekend there in order to 'enjoy' it. She used to take me and my sister along without even passing a thought if our lives were getting affected. I had to miss all of my regular friends who listened to music (yes, I used to listen to music when I was a kid!), played cricket and hung out with.

I was stranded at this godforsaken, conservative part of town with kids who liked chanting hymns to reading comics. No friends and extremely boring. My giant, forgettable grandfather and the dysfunctional conversations that my Mom used to have with her folks used to scare me (they still haunt me). I used to try in every way to get away from all this to find something better to do.

Strangely enough, I chose something that I was scared of. Right next to this place was the biggest river in Thiruvananthapuram (Karamana river - Wiki, Map). I would go sit by the river, throw stones at it etc, despite my phobia. The 'good' part of the town lay across the river and I always wished if I could cross over and be with my friends and be happy.


Apart from this, I remember that I was stranded in a boat in the middle of the Thekkady lake during a vacation trip. The light was dimming and there was the risk of not being rescued. I really thought that I would find myself in the obituary section of the newspaper the headline of which would be 'School kids drown in the lake'.


Coming back to life - I still have problems with large bodies of water. And I can't still swim. I have real problem in bathing on streams/waterfalls etc. And I don't even know how I will feel on a cruise ship.

(Image courtesy 1 - SkyScraperCity.com , 2 - Keralamist)