Clarification

Many have commented on my latest post and have expressed their wonder and amusement at my state of affairs. Some think that I was just joking around in an attempt to raise some attention and chatter. There are some facts that I have to clear up.
  • I was NOT kidding. I was and am totally serious.
  • I have applied for part-time jobs online. I'm already on my way to starting some guitar lessons for beginners. I'm also applying for writing in some magazine or newspaper.
  • To have sex with money involved is not a new thing to me. It's not really prostitution. Sugar Daddies are people who like to treat their spouses with some class including monetary support. If I find one to date around, it'll get me some social outings and some money. It's not plain prostitution.
  • Plus, I don't think that prostitution is a shameful thing to do. I have always admired the guts of whores to face the society who look down on them. But think of it, they are earning money doing something what they are good at. Thankfully, it's sex and everyone will have pleasure out of it.
  • The fact is that I'm not having regular meals. That too, for the past 3 months. Usually I just have that 16 rupee dosa plate and something like instant noodles or rice with curd as another meal as 'linner'. I buy some cheap vanilla cake to serve as a snack. I could cook but then, I don't want to end up spending a lot on groceries. And obviously I can't eat at restaurants.
  • I got into this state because of things going wrong. I was supposed to pass my exams in May. I didn't because of many reasons. Vinokur and I were supposed to stay live together. But that also did not happen because many similar reasons. Our record label hasn't paid us since May. That's the single most important reason why things went wrong. I was banking on that.
  • I'm a proud person. I'm usually generous when it comes to lending people money and I expect that from my friends. Not that they haven't helped me. But the initiative to help me has to come from my friends. Just like how I do to them. I'm also in this state because I have lent out more than 40, 000 rupees to my friend S./E-boi. He is also stuck because of the record label thing.
  • Vinokur would have helped had he himself not been in a crazy situation with insurance and bank balances back in NYC. He has always been supportive and is looking up unimaginably complicated ways to send me some money.
I hope this will clear a lot of your doubts. Again, I'm not joking around. I have been getting generous offers from strangers, readers of the blog and some of my friends. I'm very, very thankful to all of you. But I would have to refuse to accept money from you because of the reason that we aren't close enough to do that. Thank you once again.

If this record label things clear up, then I'll be in good stead. That will also kickstart live gigs which will pay me enough to make ends meet. And I won't be needing any help. Thankfully, my sister (I don't know if she read my posts or not) has sent me some money for paying my bills and stuff. I still can't make myself eat anything more than the minimum that I need to satitate the hunger with. That's because I think I might be in a spot sooner if I don't act miserly with the help that I'm getting now.

36 comments:

Prash said...

I agree with you about "prostitution" and "sugar-daddy" concept.

If was you, I would do the same (not accept money from unknown people)...I do understand your feelings.

I want to cheer you up. But don't know how ...want to help you out...don't know how...

Cheer up...it is easy for me to say, I know ! But still I say, cheer up !

Anonymous said...

sugar daddy..or watever way u sugar coat it prostitution is prostitution and it's not worth it...

I dont hav anything against whores or dont look down upon them ..

Nobody aims or aspires to b a prostitute they are forced to become one out of circumstances..im sure u hav better options

dude remember it's not worth it...think bout it...

Regards,
Rajeev

Stray said...

Dude, What's a convenient email ID to reach you on?

Dolly Koshy said...

See Kriss, it is very easy to get disappointed, fustrated with life and resort to actions that you will regret later.

Before doing anything, always keep in mind to do only things that you will take full responsibility for in future.

Good and Bad are objective so whtever u do there will b people who wil say it is either good or bad. But their views niether make the action good or bad.

It is you who have to live with your actions. I believe that if you truly know what you want and have positive outlook things will work out for the best.

Many times things do not work out for us due to our inflated EGO and selfishness. These traits only tend to make us take wrong decisions and in the end make us losers in life.

Stop being over excited whn small sucessess come ur way or small failures visit u. As told by Buddha, desire (he did not mean physical desire I suppose) is the cause of all misery. Have dignity of labour. Do not try to take easy way out for all problems.

Kris Bass said...

@ Stray: It's given on the profile page. I am not giving it here on the comments page as it attracts the spam-bots!

Kris Bass said...

@ Dolly: Interesting comment. Small successes and small failures. Very interesting. It makes sense.

Thank you Dolly!

Vikster said...

Can't put it as eloquently as Dolly or Rajeev but, all I can say is don't do it.

Just my two cents.

Vik (A VERY middle class Indian boy with very middle class values)

Vikster said...

Do the call center thing like Swats pointed out in an earlier post comment.

They are ALWAYS lookinng for people! And they pay well, like real well.

And you can have all the sex you want there too..

Anonymous said...

Prostitution as an alternative means of livelihood??? Thre r better ways of earning money Kris.

Read this and lemme know if 'Content writing' interests u..

The Client is a Hollywood media house and event management company.
Job profile: Research on Hollywood Movies.

-Written skills and Internet browsing Skills have to be exceptionally good

-Knowledge on Film Production.

Work Location: Malad,(Mumbai).
I think its Mindspace.

Cheers!

Stray said...

Bloody hell! There are some great folks out in the blog-sphere! I need to get myself a blog or two! :)

Kris, I endorse Dolly's POV. You should take Swats advice and look at running the rat race for a bit.

Kris Bass said...

@ Vikster: I know what you are saying. And I appreciate you saying that you did.

@ Swats: Oh, you are a swell person. I got your e-mail. I'll look into all that! Thanks!

@ Stray: There are a lot of brilliant people in the blogosphere!

Anonymous said...

Alternatives to prostitution:

1. Find a part time job in a contract research company. There are a few in bombay who would love you have your MBBS creds work for them. You can work on patient recruitment, administration, monitoring etc at some hospital or the other. Tata cancer is a place to research.

2. Find a part time job at a healthcare insurance company. Again your MBBS background will help them in claims evaluation.

3. Work as an assistant to a ortho physician practice. Not sure if any near you that will let you concentrate on studies, music, whatever else suits your fancy.

4. Cant hurt to be a GP. I hear you dont need much beyond hanging a shingle outside the door to get started.

5. Part time work in a government hospital emergency room.

6. Teach. Med students, students preparing for med school exams etc. I am assuming that you have good grades and are smart and can teach.

Anonymous said...

adding on...

7. Contact companies like Metropolis - its a path lab company. They have plenty of centers all around bombay and can use you.

8. Assistant at a path lab? Beneath you? I bet you will do a much better job than most of those untrained technicians. Thyrocare has a lab near Sahar airport. They would love to have a doc.

9. Look at imaging centers. Why cant you work there? You do know how to read x-rays dont you on a part time basis.

10. There are some radiology centers that employ radiologists, orthopedic docs that send you xrays on the net for diagnosis. You get paid on a per plate basis. Research that.

Will think of more. I don't think Bombay is the most happening place in India for healthcare but it is fragmented enough for you to find something meaningful that will pay more than whoring around. Basically move butt as there is plenty to do.

10.

Anonymous said...

...

11. Register yourself at a nursing agency. Yes yes you are a doc and all, but think about this. Many families would love to hire you as a nurse to care for their geriatric relatives who stay with them at home. We employed one for my gran @500 for 12 hr shift. Dude, there is plenty of free time in that stuff unless the patient has dementia as well.

Think about it, 12 hr shift to study and work and earn 10-15 k per month till you take your exams? Beat that!

Anonymous said...

...besides, caring for a geriatric may well be your dream come true!!!And you earn money doing that!!!and its not whoring!!!Yayyyyyy!

Anonymous said...

Dolly has written just the right things. Though I know I am not on the right page with positive attitude myself with everything going around; but found myself nodding so much with what she has written.Take care of yourself Kris.

Anonymous said...

November looms.

You know all that... "a bird in hand" stuff. Its not just stuff. It is real life.

A Well Wisher in NYC

Prash said...

@swats

I do disagree. Ask those girls who are in the streets if they would like to have a well-paid job in Wall-Street...you think they would refuse and still go on prostituting ?

I agree with Kris when he says he rather admires their courage in facing this society.

You remember the movie Devdas ? Chandramukhi's a prostitute and Paro's son-in-law frequents prostitutes but won't accept such women in enter his house or mingle with others...Where is his dignity when he sleeps with these prostitutes ?

All this said, there is also another fact...

In Hong Kong, there is a big scene of prostitution in the area called Wanchai. Mostly Filipinos, thais and Indonesians.

The domesitc helpers (maids) are also from these three countries...

So, I heard that in Philippines, the girls are given a choice...be a prostitute or a maid. In 2 years they will make the money what they would have made in 12 years as a maid. And certain of them, do choose prostitution, not because they want to and they love to...because they "need" to !

venkatesh said...

I think I will agree with the majority here!

Harish said...

Dear Kris, firstly, I admire your guts to stand up for your inmost feelings and speaking it out on a public forum like this one. We all indulge in this kind of inner talk, but not all put up their self-effacing babble in type. Yes, prostitution is not demeaning. And there are sugar daddies who would take care of their counterparts necessities. But But But, I have friends who are closeted (female) commercial sex workers and I can vouch "no whore is whole. There’s a void no whore can avoid. I have been through the path of joblessness; I felt I was redundant, obsolete and useless. And yes at times like these when sanity hangs by a thread, thoughts such as these storm us, and countless people would bogg us down with their insensitiveness. But we shouldn’t do things that we feel embarrassed later… I remember a couple of years back, I posted on the gay Bombay yahoo group about me being a survivor of child sex abuse, and the incidence making me an introvert for years and thus being jobless… I had no intent of sounding like craving for sympathy, I was just venting out my frustration and behaving harebrained… but I received a lot of flak (rightly so) from many in GB... when I look back I feel embarrassed… I know my mail is lying somewhere in the post… and that scares me… now.

Kris Bass said...

Wow, a lot of comments since I replied.

@ Anonymous: I am amazed by the time that you must have taken to compose such detailed messages. Thanks a lot for those options. I'll certainly keep them in mind.

You look like you are a doctor? Do I know you?

The last options sounds very warm and cozy! ;)

@ MyHeadTrip: I will! Thank you!

@ AWWiNYC: Thanks for the reminder. Thanks for being so sweet to me and Vinokur!

@ Prash: Well, I'm not really wanting to take it up as a career. But that could have been the easy way out for a few days or so. Otherwise, I agree with you.

@ Venkatesh: Well, I disagree! :)

@ Aham: I don't remember reading that post. But I can sure relate to your feelings. Thanks for your message!

Reema said...

I'm totally with Anon and his suggestions of work on basis of ur medico background!! U know in India an MBBS doc cant starve!!
dont opt for prostitution. I think there shld be some things in life labelled as "just not an option no matter what happens"..and moreover sex with someone ..wont it be infidelity with ur partner?

Kris Bass said...

@ Reema: Well, I agree. All these things take time. I was hoping for a night or two and earning enough for a month!

Anonymous said...

@PRASH
I don’t particularly admire whores and neither do I despise them..its probably their way of life..i know most of them r forced into the flesh trade.. I know no one chooses to b a sex worker! Circumstances force them to resort to prostitution!

But thre r so many employment opportunities.. varied job openings..even maids make kewl money these days..at least bombay maids..and y just maids, nannies make good money 2..The hospital ward boy mints more money than a full-timer today! V had employed one and he made awesome money, given his level of education!

Even undergrads and anghutachaps make money…Its just abt having the right attitude, patience, perseverance and self-belief!

U have to make the right choices in life..its always easy to take the wrong path, to get carried away…the right part may b challenging, bloody frustrating and taxing but at least wen u look back u wudnt b squirming or regretting ur actions!

Anonymous said...

"@ Anonymous: I am amazed by the time that you must have taken to compose such detailed messages. Thanks a lot for those options. I'll certainly keep them in mind.

You look like you are a doctor? Do I know you?"

Nope, not a doc and nor do I know you. I am not even in India. Just dont want you to wig out when options are available to you.

Anonymous said...

can I get on the list for some ass this weekend, can I write a check? -DH

Anonymous said...

I think its exciting that you're going to put your self out there as a sex worker, i wish I was brave enough to do it, my biggest fear is people may want their money back.You're right, I don't think hookers get enough respect. They really fill a basic need, like hunting and gathering. Please don't go on this adventure without condom's and a positive attitude. Most of all, please come back to the blog with all the juicy details. this might be better than anything on cable or even the presidential debates. good luck and be safe and thanks for putting a face on prostitution. You could pen a modern day Kamasutra, or a "Happy Hooker" book or at least a "LACE" ( shirley Concoran)?
-dh

Solitaire said...

I am very sorry that you are going through this situation. I have been in similar situations where I have worried day and night about my bills, money, and employment, while I was still a student. I too did not like to borrow money but somehow realized that everything works out in the end.

How does Vinokur react to your idea of prostitution. I am curious. Feel free to not answer if it is too personal a question.

Anonymous said...

-okay fine I'll get some cash-dh

Anonymous said...

I'm hoping for some definite positive news from you very very soon.
You've set the wheels in motion. All the best!

Hope it doesn't come down to paid sex, but as a very last, who can help it?

Kris Bass said...

@ Swats: You make a lot of sense. I hope I can survive this crisis.

@ Anonymous: That's very nice of you, Mr. Anonymous. I thank you for taking your time out for me.

@ Duncan: You aren't going to cease that thread of making fun of my whorrible idea, are you? If I'll get down to doing it, I'll blog about it at the minimum.

@ Solitaire: I guess everyone goes through that phase sometime or the other. I really hope that things will come around.

Vinokur, doesn't like me doing whore work. But then, he realizes that it is my decision finally. He has done prostitution himself when he was a young man! So, there is nothing that he can say really.

Having said that, neither I nor him want me to take this step and suffer from trauma.

@ Duncan: Again, we'll have to do that when you are here honey!

@ Unsungpsalm: I hope to give you that news real soon too! :)

Anonymous said...

U r a doctor n u still hv problems getting a job in India???????????? R u kidding me ???????????

take up a research post in a private hospital.. they gv u arnd 10-12k n u dont evn hv to work 12 hrs!

n prostitution is jst wat it is called... dont do stuff that u will regret later.

Anonymous said...

I'm saving my lunch money, but you're going to do more than sing for your supper -dh

the free spirit said...

wowwwwww....i thought I cud help but the one of the anon above has opened a classified section for you right here:D
You are so lucky to have the courage to voice teh truth always and then there are ppl around to actually read and care enuf (minus the ppl who are so stuck on whether prostituition is gud or bad and the pros and cons of it)
I think when ppl go on dates here they expect to have a gud time, men pay for fancy restaurants and dinner shows in hopes of getting lucky. these ppl are not always looking to settle niether men nor women... sooo there is always a thin line and that shud not be the focus here...my opinion
you are so smart im sure you know the pros and cons. BUT!!!! you said it yourslef above that it will only further the damage, no point in doing that :)
kris you shud really try and look at all the options above and I am sure you will find a way. I hate lecturing and quoting sayings but they are all sooo true so here goes (im sorry) where there is a will there is a way:)
also what doesnt kill u makes u stronger. I have never had to starve but I did have to climb out of hell once and guess what..never been there since...hang on my blog friend hang on:)

Kris Bass said...

@ Anonymous: I'm not kidding you. I need a part-time job to earn some quick money. That's my first prirority.

@ Duncan: Save up. You'll save a hell lot in another 30 odd years!

@ The Free Spirit: Like many others, you too have inspired me. Thank you. I love the phrase 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'.

Anonymous said...

hmmm...
u can do locum for private clinics. u can earn upto 400 bucks per day. (as in u get it the same day).
N i was tellin u abt clinical assistant / research assistant posts.. u earn decent amnt (like i said 10-12k) and u get plenty of time to study ( i m guessing u r appearing for AIPGMEE/AIIMS/DNB). Put in ur cv across biggie hospitals in mumbai.

N wat i wanted to say abt prostitution is that its jst easy money, but carries a hell lot of risk.. its jst not worth it kris...
hang in there. n love urself enuff to see beyond immediate failures. U will b jst fine.

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