Come into me

No, I’m not being lewd. It’s just want Dave Matthews is singing to me. In Crash Into Me, that song from the ‘90s that typified him and his band.

I was watching a Dave Matthews Tiny Desk Concerts literally a minute ago. I stopped because I was sufficiently inspired to go back and work on that song that I’m working on.

Despite the headache that I’m having. The one that has been there for over a day. Not sure what’s going on. Is this how the rest of the life is going to be for me? Hopefully not.

The song that I’m working on is something that I would imagine a artists with shades of of George Michael and Bruno Mars would write/sing. It’s called Seesaw. The problem with it—well, the problem is me—is that it is just right in the middle of my comfortable chest and head voice ranges.

My vocal instructor did ask me to roll some songs down by three to five half-steps so I could render them at my best. This song might need a six or seven.

So why am I typing this when I got inspired by Dave Matthews? Because I can’t renege on the promise that I made myself. For writing every day. Every night actually. Maybe on weekends, I should try writing on the day as well.

Anyway, I think I have done enough writing. The headache’s still there. My friend at work, who I knew before I joined work, is going through some trouble. I spent over two and a half hours listening to his side of the story and trying to understand.

Oh, also I met someone from Philadelphia who I think I’m going to be working closely with for a cause that I think I’ll be proud of in the long run. Sneak peek? Well, it’s related to LGBTIQ+.

Disovering GarageBand Drummer

A few weeks back, after getting terribly frustrated with the severe lack of cooperation from my band mate friends, I decided to explore software options for writing drum tracks for songs. I started asking these friends and they suggested several options that seemed relatively complicated. I needed to buy software and/or a MIDI keyboard to write drum tracks, they said.

However, I decided to do some research by myself. Interestingly enough, I discovered that GarageBand, a software that I have been almost exclusively for recording my demo tracks after purchasing my MackBook Air, had a feature called Drummer. According to the reviews online, this seemed very intuitive and good.

Before leaving for my conference, I had downloaded the extra software required for me to have full access to this feature. However, I hadn’t got enough time to sit with Drummer until tonight. Not only that, I stumbled on a video in which one pro-musician made a decent-sounding demo track, from scratch, on GarageBand, using just an acoustic guitar and a Mac machine’s microphone!

I couldn’t believe it. So I decided to try it out myself. And voila, yes, you can do it. Within about an hour, I was able to record this track using just my Macbook’s mic and an acoustic guitar.



I feel like I’m such a loser for not having known this before. Now, I feel empowered to track demo tracks for all the tracks that I have written so far. Woo hoo!

Depeche Mode – Walking in My Shoes

Few artists have inspired me more in recent times than Depeche Mode. I’m going to plug in a few songs of theirs as and when I am inspired to do so. Today, I’m going to present to you the brilliant ‘Walking In My Shoes.’

I would tell you about the things
They put me through.
The pain I've been subjected to.
But the Lord himself would blush.
The countless feasts laid at my feet,
Forbidden fruits for me to eat.
But I think your pulse would start to rush.

Now I'm not looking for absolution,
Forgiveness for the things I do.
But before you come to any conclusions -
Try walking in my shoes,
Try walking in my shoes.

You'll stumble in my footsteps,
Keep the same appointments I kept.
If you try walking in my shoes.
If you try walking in my shoes.

Morality would frown upon,
Decency look down upon.
The scapegoat fate's made of me.
But I promise now, my judge and jurors,
My intentions couldn't have been purer.
My case is easy to see.

I'm not looking for a clearer conscience,
Peace of mind after what I've been through.
And before we talk of any repentance -
Try walking in my shoes.
Try walking in my shoes.

You'll stumble in my footsteps,
Keep the same appointments I kept.
If you try walking in my shoes.
If you try walking in my shoes.
Try walking in my shoes.

Now I'm not looking for absolution,
Forgiveness for the things I do.
But before you come to any conclusions -
Try walking in my shoes.
Try walking in my shoes.

You'll stumble in my footsteps,
Keep the same appointments I kept.
If you try walking in my shoes.
Try walking in my shoes.
If you try walking in my shoes.
Try walking in my shoes.

I believe this song has a religious background and although I don’t really endorse that, it’s virtually exactly what I want to say to the people who insist that I have wronged in my life path. So before you make any judgments, try walking in my shoes. I’ll smile when you stumble.

Why this such a hit?

I was quite late to catch up to the latest viral hit on the internet.

On repeated listening, I am getting to quite like the song. The lyrics are crazy and don’t let the song get boring even after multiple listens.

But the question remains: Why is this such a hit? Of course, a lot of time must have been spent on planning social media and marketing for the song.

My friends have the idea that the makers of the song bought a lot of YouTube hits and started off from there claiming that in a few hours the song has so many hits etc., thus making it seem like an overnight success.

Oh, well. The power of social media!

Update Feb 6th, 2012

Here’s a good article on Guardian.co.uk that discusses the possible reasons why Kolaveri Di went viral.

To be able to survive

This is another FB poem that is shaping up as we speak.

I don't know if I will be able to survive | There are so many things from which to hide |

I don't know if I will be able to survive | There are so many things that I have left by the side |

I don't know if I will be able to survive | There are so many people to be beside |

I don't know if I will be able to survive | There is so much to do, and no one by my side |

I don't know if I will be able to survive | Missing you so much, and you are not by my side |

I don't know if I will be able to survive | With the foreignness of the truth about which I lied |

A friend I'll never forget

This is another song that I have just started writing. The last two lines of the first verse have been contributed by Vinokur. Both this and the song below have been inspired by status messages on FaceBook. FaceBook statuses aren't that bad after all.

‘What will you do tomorrow - write a song about me?’
I had said yes, but I haven’t yet
The words will come and the song will be
An ode to a friend that I’ll never forget

What I did today was to think about him
To reminisce the wonderful moments spent
And the words came along and the song is now
An ode to a friend that I’ll never forget

What I will do tomorrow, even I don’t know
I’ll hope for more such moments of fun and frolic
And the words have come and the song is now
An ode to a friend that I’ll never forget

How do such friends come along – that no one knows
How lucky I am to be with them – that only I know
How happy I was with him – that everyone can see
How glad I would be with him – that only time would tell

My only defense

This is a song that I have just started writing. My friend Athiran contributed the last two lines of the first verse.

Don’t know what I should do now
Be myself or hide behind a pretense
Feel I should call him now
The pain I feel is so intense

Let’s blame it on love
Baby, that’s my only defense

Someone suggested to me
‘Be yourself, that’s the easiest way’
I swear by that rule, and hey
Have followed it scrupulously to date

Let’s blame this on them
Baby, that’s my only defense

I wait for an hour or two
Before calling him twice
I get no answer either time
Must’ve been busy, I pay the price

Let’s blame it on the situation
Baby, that’s my only defense

Hoping for a call or a message back
I stay up until half past one
I still haven’t heard from him
Must be sleeping now, like a baby

Let’s blame it on the distance
Baby, that’s my only defense

Waiting For You (Part 3)

I don't know what's happening to me
I'm nervous and jittery, its plain obvious for everyone to see
A bunch of butterflies have taken refuge in my tummy
Madonna and Trent Reznor aren't helping me take it easy

Waiting for a word from him
Waiting for a call from him
Waiting to hear his voice
Waiting to hear him say 'yes'

Every moment that passes does ever so slowly
Every time I refresh my inbox our when my phone vibrates
My heart goes into a flutter
Don't know if I can pull down the shutter

All this in the hope that
Every moment that I'll spend with him
Will be making up for these anxious moments
All this in the hope that
Every moment that I spend waiting
Will be rewarded by something special

Singer/songwriter debut

Well, the Queer Azaadi March this year features a week of queer-related activities leading up the pride march on the 29th of January (Saturday). I have already applied for a half-day leave on that day.

More importantly for me, however, are the dates 27th and 28th, when I'll be performing as a singer/songwriter at two separate venues - at the Carter Road Amphitheater, Bandra and at Cooper Candies, Pali Hilll, Bandra, respectively.

On the 27th, I'll be joined by Rob (on guitar/vocals) and S (on djembe, percussion). The fantastic Alsha Batth will be performing alongside. On the 28th, I'd be performing solo for just a song or two at the Open Mic Night event. Both will be memorable days in my life, where I'll be performing songs that I wrote, songs that are so very personal.

This will the first time that Ideat Savant (my pet music project) songs are being performed live. As a prelude to these two gigs, if things go well, I'll be performing a 3-song set with Rob and S at the Cirkles gig at Not Just Jazz by the bay on the 21st of January. That makes it a total of three singer/songwriter gigs in a week's time! Wish me luck fellows!

Here is the QAM schedule:

Farewell to a friendship

I had another chat conversation with my sister this afternoon, the first one after our previous one in which we insulted and hurt each other. As a modus operandi, I started the conversation asking about how things were and how the weather was etc – many of my friends had advised me that it was the best way to go about such an unhealthy relationship. She said she was fine and asked me if I was and we thanked each other. I thought things were working out well. I tried to dilute the conversation by sending her and my Mom a recent picture of me taken at the New Year’s Eve party.

Eventually, however, she brought the topic of our previous conversation. She said that she was sorry to have been so blunt and hurtful. She said that she didn’t like to mask her feelings and wanted to be honest about how she felt about me. I told her that we had fallen out of the friendship that we had – we were each other’s best friends for many years during our combined childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood – and that to maintain whatever that was left, it was best that we became ‘fake’ friends.

I also mentioned that I felt more free during online chats with my mother because she seemed to understand me more and appeared generally kinder and more gentle in her dealings. She seemed hurt – more hurt than me, probably because I already knew how our relationship was going to end up anyway. She said that she would rather be not in close touch than be ‘fake’ friends, to stop being touch with me for some time at least. I couldn’t say anything but ‘yes.’

I guess, things ended up just the way that I had written in the song ‘Hope It’s Over’ about me and her. The final line ‘Yes it is’ sounded a tad too harsh, but it’s exactly what has happened. This is the song that I had dedicated to her in the only gig of mine that she had attended. This was in late 2009, I think. Anyway, an ending which might be sad, but is true.

Hope It’s Over (2008)

When did I stop being, what I used to be
Where did I start falling, you weren't looking
What did I start chasing, it feels so long
Whom did I leave stranded, I fell so hard, I felt so low

Was it you, was it me, who knows

When did I stop listening, it was deafening
Where did I stop looking, what lies ahead
What did I start wishing, wish I'd be there now
Whom did I try faking, I tried so hard, I felt so lone

Was it you, was it me, who knows
Was it you, was it me, who knows

The hope that is left, is it too heavy to confess
The hope that is left, it's so easy to forget

Was it you, was it me, who knows
Was it you, was it me, is it over?

Is it over?
Yes it is.

My Addiction

I can't see, I can't breathe, I can't lay still, without the sight of you
I can't scream, I can't fight, I can't play cool, without you being there
I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't stay still, without the sight of you
I can't dream, oh my plight, I'm such a fool, without you saying hey

Like dark chocolate
Like a cup of latte
Like a glass of scotch
Like an OCD
So hard to shake you off

My addiction, it's a contradiction
My addiction, it defies deaddiction
My addiction, it feels like corruption
My addiction, no one's jurisdiction

I can't feel, I can't shield, I can't bear it all, without you inside me
I can't leave, I can't move, I can't just live, without you being there
I can steal, but I can't give, I can't keep up, without you inside me
I can't plea, I can't flee, I can't but slide, without you saying hey

Like dark chocolate
Like a cup of latte
Like a glass of scotch
Like an OCD
So hard to shake you off

My addiction, it's a contradiction
My addiction, it defies deaddiction
My addiction, it feels like corruption
My addiction, no one's jurisdiction

Faithless?

Turn around and you will see me
My loving words will echo in your ears forever
Play around and you will miss me
My loving words may not have a recipient anymore

Walk around and you will see me
My loving words echoing in others ears
Look around and you will see not just me
But everyone in this phase forever

Why do we like playing around?
Because it reminds us of our childhood?
Why do we like flirting around?
Because it reminds us of our childhood?
Why do we like to misbehave?
Because it reminds us of our childhood?
Why can't we seem to accept the truth?
Because it reminds us of our childhood?

You were around to see me play
But will you be around to see my cry?
You were around to see me display my charms
But will you be around to see me lie?

What I Have Lost

This is a song I wrote at the Juhu beach one fine evening when I took my guitar with me. This was back in October 2010. Of course, it's about me and Vinokur.

What I Have Lost (2010)

I look back, to see what I've lost
I lay back, to feel it rush in fast
Eight half past, the waves are gushing past
The past oh past, I'm sure it didn't last forever, and ever

I'm here all by myself
And you have moved on fast
And I feel what I have lost
It's so hard to make it/you past

I'm back, to the time that I was lost
I hold back, the world spins so fast
Third year at last, the masterplan has crashed
It had to crash, because we made sure it didn't last forever, and ever

I'm here all by myself
And you have moved on so fast
And I feel what I have lost
It's so hard to make it/you past

The best jerk

Oh please, would you please, stop it, you bastard
It's not as if the world around you is deaf
What you do does indeed go with the groove of Morcheeba
But that's no excuse to go on and on, so tirelessly

Like a jerk, like an asshole
Like a fucked up pretentious fool

You look back at me and scream as if I'm responsible
It's part of your 'job', as you always claimed it to be
Don't let your dirt spill out like a leak in the toilet
Don't let your hands push on this monster, creating a racket

Like a jerk, like an asshole
Like a fucked up pretentious fool

You are more jerky than a motorized saw
You don't know how to ride this monster
You better quit what you are doing
You better stop what you are doing

Life and Love

Life is a misery, your soul is sold
She is a lost cause, you are getting old
Life is a parody, your hope is restored
It's lonely path, you ain't growing up

You are the travesty that the world should never see
Your are the ignonimity that the world should never see
You are the mediocrity that the world should never see
You are the nothing that the world loves to ignore

Love is a misery, your heart is sold
She is a lost cause, you are getting cold
Love is a parody, my hope is destroyed
It's a tricky path, you ain't moving forward

You are the majesty that the world always bows before
You are the firefly that the children run behind
You are the amnesty that the world hides behind
You are the nothing that the world loves to akcnowledge

Choose your path carefully as
You are always alone in life and love

Awakening

Hey belief, hope you’ve not given up on me
Hey grief, hope you’ve not shined up on me
Hey mischief, you have been a blessing to me
It’s a relief, you have dawned on me

Hey face, hope you’ll dawn up on me soon
Hey grace, hope you’ll glaze over the moon
Hey disgrace, you have been my spittoon
It’s a place, where I want to be so soon

Take me there, hand in hand
Lead me there, my heart’s going blind
Take me there, holding hands
Lead me there, my heart’s going numb

(Title suggested by Bruno Nigita)

Waiting for you

Winter afternoon, as time slowly passes by
Whisper in my ear, your face flashes past
Within me a feeling of pleasure, it persists
Without you this feeling would never exist

Hold me in your arms, kiss me with your charms
Feel me with your hands, give me all you have

Wanting for this moment to stay forever and long
Waiting for your lips to push me down strong
Wishing that us and this would be real, really soon
Waiting, if only it would be sooner than soon

Hold me in your arms, kiss me with your charms
Feel me with your hands, give me all you have

Free me, feed me, kiss me, kill me

You may not be what I had in my mind
You may have come up from behind
You have always been far from being kind
You have always been that, I don’t mind

Feel me inside out, it your only chance
Drown me down and out, it’s a fat chance
Feel my breath, it’s not happenstance, you
Drowned me in your charm, as per plan

Free me, feed me, kiss me, kill me
Free me, feed me, cuss me, kill me

Together, forever

Thanks to inspiration from Sidd Coutto and constant coaxing from Robin, I wrote a song tonight. These are the lyrics to the song. I have just recorded it as a scratch tune. Hope to record it sometime in the future.

Together Forever (2010)

We were meant to be deceived
We were meant to taste defeat
We were meant to share our lives together
We were meant to bare our souls forever

Together, forever
Together, forever

All it took was another of my kind
And it was something happening behind
All I knew was that I was kept blind
All those days, that I was slipping behind

Together, forever
Together, forever

Together, forever (4 times)

Love no Superman

The Café, cool breeze flew past
You too, but you were on fire
Curiosity, Looked back at the sky
Started singing with my fingers

At the town square, saving lives
Not quite, but at least a head
Wanted to jot down a story,
You showed me kryptonite

Hush hush Mary Jane,
He's from another galaxy
Of red dwarves and black holes
Slow down Mary Jane
He ain't human
Can't love without no soul

The cognac was smooth, in chalice
I was drowning, smoothly done in
Krypton calling, so far away
A few hours, at the speed of light

The galaxy had brilliant son
Black holes were rumbling, but
Waiting to devour kryptonite
Got traded in, cheaper than gravel

Hush hush Mary Jane,
He's from another galaxy
Of red dwarves and black holes
Slow down Mary Jane
He ain't human
Can't love without no soul

I felt I was flying, without a cape
Was there a world to save?
The cries, and 'why's still linger
I made a mistake, you were Superman