This is how I look like when I have just woken up and talking to the love of my life. The diamond-shaped screen of my PDA is a tad misplaced - it should have been at my precordium overlying my heart, which gleams in happiness when I'm with Vinokur.
Showing posts with label confession. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confession. Show all posts
Clarification
Many have commented on my latest post and have expressed their wonder and amusement at my state of affairs. Some think that I was just joking around in an attempt to raise some attention and chatter. There are some facts that I have to clear up.
If this record label things clear up, then I'll be in good stead. That will also kickstart live gigs which will pay me enough to make ends meet. And I won't be needing any help. Thankfully, my sister (I don't know if she read my posts or not) has sent me some money for paying my bills and stuff. I still can't make myself eat anything more than the minimum that I need to satitate the hunger with. That's because I think I might be in a spot sooner if I don't act miserly with the help that I'm getting now.
- I was NOT kidding. I was and am totally serious.
- I have applied for part-time jobs online. I'm already on my way to starting some guitar lessons for beginners. I'm also applying for writing in some magazine or newspaper.
- To have sex with money involved is not a new thing to me. It's not really prostitution. Sugar Daddies are people who like to treat their spouses with some class including monetary support. If I find one to date around, it'll get me some social outings and some money. It's not plain prostitution.
- Plus, I don't think that prostitution is a shameful thing to do. I have always admired the guts of whores to face the society who look down on them. But think of it, they are earning money doing something what they are good at. Thankfully, it's sex and everyone will have pleasure out of it.
- The fact is that I'm not having regular meals. That too, for the past 3 months. Usually I just have that 16 rupee dosa plate and something like instant noodles or rice with curd as another meal as 'linner'. I buy some cheap vanilla cake to serve as a snack. I could cook but then, I don't want to end up spending a lot on groceries. And obviously I can't eat at restaurants.
- I got into this state because of things going wrong. I was supposed to pass my exams in May. I didn't because of many reasons. Vinokur and I were supposed to
staylive together. But that also did not happen because many similar reasons. Our record label hasn't paid us since May. That's the single most important reason why things went wrong. I was banking on that. - I'm a proud person. I'm usually generous when it comes to lending people money and I expect that from my friends. Not that they haven't helped me. But the initiative to help me has to come from my friends. Just like how I do to them. I'm also in this state because I have lent out more than 40, 000 rupees to my friend S./E-boi. He is also stuck because of the record label thing.
- Vinokur would have helped had he himself not been in a crazy situation with insurance and bank balances back in NYC. He has always been supportive and is looking up unimaginably complicated ways to send me some money.
If this record label things clear up, then I'll be in good stead. That will also kickstart live gigs which will pay me enough to make ends meet. And I won't be needing any help. Thankfully, my sister (I don't know if she read my posts or not) has sent me some money for paying my bills and stuff. I still can't make myself eat anything more than the minimum that I need to satitate the hunger with. That's because I think I might be in a spot sooner if I don't act miserly with the help that I'm getting now.
Hope It's Over
I am extremely happy to bring to you something which I consider to be one of the highest forms of expression - a song. I was inspired really by the responses that i got from the 'Hey There Alan' post which somehow re-kindled the song-writer inside me. Hence, after a really long period of about 3 years, I have written a brand new song. It's totally original and you are the the first people to ever hear it. It's called 'Hope It's Over'. The song's lyrics are given below.
And finally the song...
(PS: This is recorded on a regular computer using a microphone intended for voice chatting. The guitar which has been used is not of professional quality and of course, I'm an amateur singer. Well, I thought I'd let you know before you start going overboard.)
Hope It's OverAll I can say that it's a very sombre confessional which might not suit the style of at least a few. I have been known by my friends to only write very sad, morose music. This really stands by that claim. The lyric is open to interpretation even though the song is based originally on a relationship in my life. Please opine. Please criticise.
When did I stop being, what I used to be
Where did I start falling, you weren't looking
What did I start chasing, it feels so long
Whom did I leave stranded, I fell so hard, I felt so low
Was it you, was it me, who knows
When did I stop listening, it was deafening
Where did I stop looking, what lies ahead
What did I start wishing, wish I'd be there now
Whom did I try faking, I tried so hard, I felt so lone
Was it you, was it me, who knows
Was it you, was it me, who knows
The hope that is left, is it too heavy to confess
The hope that is left, it's so easy to forget
Was it you, was it me, who knows
Was it you, was it me, is it over?
And finally the song...
(PS: This is recorded on a regular computer using a microphone intended for voice chatting. The guitar which has been used is not of professional quality and of course, I'm an amateur singer. Well, I thought I'd let you know before you start going overboard.)
Sweetness from New York - part 2
Last time I posted something about Vinokur’s sense of humor, people acted overly excited and emotional and responded with mushy comments. I was impressed both at my narrating skills and my fiance’s sense of humor. It made sense to pursue that angle and today, I got a little dose that I'd like to share.
To kick things off, my apartment was in total shambles! Again? If you ask how it gets back into such a state every now and then, I can only guess that if you just start being a little lazy and don’t tidy it up every day, it is prone to get dirty. Shoes, clothes, newspaper, dirt, the late-rat dropping behind stuff etc. Shit happens, you see.
Procrastination worked wonders until late evening when I decided to hang out with Vinokur on Skype. Don’t smirk! I know my life ain’t all that ‘happening’! It was Saturday-fucken-night, in Mumbai that is. Yet, I was at home, alone doing my chores! But, it does help when you have someone to talk to when you are doing that.
So, in about 4 hours of time, I did the entire apartment. I was interrupted by visits by Rob and S. We had to talk regarding the band and stuff, you know. And in between, I and Vinokur were talking about topics like how he was sure that all gods were Jews and hence, my delusion that he was divine looking was not so misplaced.
I was winding up my routine by mopping up the floor. For a poor southerner like me who is used to such routines since childhood, mopping is done without a regular mop – the long stick like thing with fabric at the end. I use a cloth and dip it in a bucket of water with some cleaning solution and do it with bare hands, squatting. Yes fellas, I do that!
As I was mopping up stuff and getting closer and closer to the computer, I suddenly felt naughty. Well, I and Vinokur like doing role play and stuff. No, not too kinky. Just the master, slave thing; he the Gora master and I the Indian slave. Fits in perfectly, believe me. I asked him to describe what he was seeing through the camera hoping that he would say something exciting that I can work with. And he said
To kick things off, my apartment was in total shambles! Again? If you ask how it gets back into such a state every now and then, I can only guess that if you just start being a little lazy and don’t tidy it up every day, it is prone to get dirty. Shoes, clothes, newspaper, dirt, the late-rat dropping behind stuff etc. Shit happens, you see.
Procrastination worked wonders until late evening when I decided to hang out with Vinokur on Skype. Don’t smirk! I know my life ain’t all that ‘happening’! It was Saturday-fucken-night, in Mumbai that is. Yet, I was at home, alone doing my chores! But, it does help when you have someone to talk to when you are doing that.
So, in about 4 hours of time, I did the entire apartment. I was interrupted by visits by Rob and S. We had to talk regarding the band and stuff, you know. And in between, I and Vinokur were talking about topics like how he was sure that all gods were Jews and hence, my delusion that he was divine looking was not so misplaced.
I was winding up my routine by mopping up the floor. For a poor southerner like me who is used to such routines since childhood, mopping is done without a regular mop – the long stick like thing with fabric at the end. I use a cloth and dip it in a bucket of water with some cleaning solution and do it with bare hands, squatting. Yes fellas, I do that!
As I was mopping up stuff and getting closer and closer to the computer, I suddenly felt naughty. Well, I and Vinokur like doing role play and stuff. No, not too kinky. Just the master, slave thing; he the Gora master and I the Indian slave. Fits in perfectly, believe me. I asked him to describe what he was seeing through the camera hoping that he would say something exciting that I can work with. And he said
‘Honey, you look funny. You look like a duck. An oversized, but thin one with brown skin. And you do know how to quack!’I looked back at him on the Skype video window and saw him struggling to conceal a gorgeous smile.
Hair fall solutions?
I come from a family of men who are bald, obese and generally ugly. The obesity part is manageable with some dietary adjustments, exercise and wisdom. Ugliness is subjective really. I’m not saying that I think I’ll pass of as a model or anything but yeah, I look decent. The only thing that I am scared of is getting bald.
Why, all of a sudden? Well, the story is that in the past few months I have been losing hair. Not in the typical androgenic balding pattern. But I think I’m getting generally thinning. It is evident in my apartment clear white tiles as I broom everyday. It is evident in the bathroom drain sieve as it gets clogged every now and then. A scary thought – my father who’s entirely bald and almost Mr. Weatherbee-esque had hair like the Parachute ad-models until 30. One deluge of hair and he turned bald.
I have reason to believe it is rather wide-spread and not necessarily limited to the scalp as there are much shorter, curlier hairs in my dust pile after brooming. Aaargh? Nope, wrong there. I’m a semi-hirsute and it must be from the pectoral region.
So what do the wise men and women of the blogging world have as suggestions to me?
(Stats: 28 year old, non-vegetarian who hardly has enough money to eat. Don't smoke. Hardly has alcohol. I drink about a litre of water. I sleep irregularly and worry a lot. I prefer coconut oil to anything else for hair. I use conditioner and shampoo (regularly) about twice every week. Pantene and Garnier are my preferred brands. I used to use hair gels when I went to the hospital.)
Why, all of a sudden? Well, the story is that in the past few months I have been losing hair. Not in the typical androgenic balding pattern. But I think I’m getting generally thinning. It is evident in my apartment clear white tiles as I broom everyday. It is evident in the bathroom drain sieve as it gets clogged every now and then. A scary thought – my father who’s entirely bald and almost Mr. Weatherbee-esque had hair like the Parachute ad-models until 30. One deluge of hair and he turned bald.
I have reason to believe it is rather wide-spread and not necessarily limited to the scalp as there are much shorter, curlier hairs in my dust pile after brooming. Aaargh? Nope, wrong there. I’m a semi-hirsute and it must be from the pectoral region.
So what do the wise men and women of the blogging world have as suggestions to me?
(Stats: 28 year old, non-vegetarian who hardly has enough money to eat. Don't smoke. Hardly has alcohol. I drink about a litre of water. I sleep irregularly and worry a lot. I prefer coconut oil to anything else for hair. I use conditioner and shampoo (regularly) about twice every week. Pantene and Garnier are my preferred brands. I used to use hair gels when I went to the hospital.)
Random updates
I do realize that the frequency of updates of my blog per day are sometimes more than the number of times Britney Spears checks in and out of rehab per week. I also know that it isn't funny. The Britney Spears part at least. Come on, she's also a human being. We can't make her the butt of jokes always. Only on select occasions like this scene when Leonidus kicks her into the Spartan Pit of Death. That is funny! Digression over.
To save me the blushes of having to post posts (1 , 2) about posts, I have added a new widget titled (as cornily as ever) 'Recently Engayged'. Geez, I do hope you don't get tired of my sleazy word play. Digression over.
The actual Random Updates:
To save me the blushes of having to post posts (1 , 2) about posts, I have added a new widget titled (as cornily as ever) 'Recently Engayged'. Geez, I do hope you don't get tired of my sleazy word play. Digression over.
The actual Random Updates:
- My fellow band mates have done some tweaking of the template etc for the Noise Market blog. I would like my esteemed blog audience to take a look there, and post comments about updates here. Honestly, I didn't like it. And I want to make sure that I'm not the only weirded out one. Be candid please.
- For those who want to check out some more pictures of the Queer Azaadi pride march last Saturday in Mumbai Check out these - Albums 1, 2 and 3. If there are generous souls out there, please spread the message around.
- My girlfriend May recently joined one of the most reputed hospitals in India as a resident of Clinical Haematology. It is really cool. It was her ambition for a long time. But the really cool part isn't that. She gets Wi-Fi all around the campus. Yesterday I saw her Facebooking and G-chatting while she sat at the OPD. After she finished her patients that is. Ain't that cute?
- I managed to detect the onset of attraction towards another man and nipped it right in the bud. Yes fellows, that's how it is done. I confessed both to this new guy from Bangalore and Vinokur yesterday and all have agreed to keep things in check. The actual culprit is a photograph on his Facebook profile which triggered the feeling. And this is what he said "Thankfully, we are both bottoms! And far enough from each other to keep it platonic!" In another message, he added "Am into hard core stuff. So you are pretty safe!"
- Yesterday night, was a bloody homicide in my apartment. Well, maybe not technically. It happened while I was sleeping. The blood is splattered all over the floor. I didn't call the police. Instead, I picked the corpse up, put it in a plastic bag and dumped it. Nice and easy. Totally professional. Now, I'm mopping the stains up. :)
- For those who actually started shaking in dread, the rat's dead.
The Disparity
Have you ever felt scared of reality? I am beginning to suspect that I am. It is easier for me to be at my computer chatting with my friends and Vinokur than going out there and being with real friends. Damn, it’s easier for me to be with myself and write on this blog and be with virtual friends too. Is this something that I’m going to get used to as I’m growing old?
I think it’s the levels of stress and hurtful things that I’m avoiding when I’m being with real friends. Real people could hurt you by their vicious comments which are almost always uncalled for. On the internet, people seem to be serene and a lot funnier. Besides, the stream of thought seems to relate too. Obviously you see snidely remarks online as way. But somehow or the other, there is this coating of well-mannered humor in there.
The easiest way to get around to facing the god-forsaken happenings of reality is by using humor. Most people would argue that humor is the best defense mechanism. It helps to get used to it. For me at least, laughing at practical impossibilities is the only way to deal with them, when I can deal with them. Most of the times though, nothing really helps. That’s when I think of getting anti-depressants.
Anyway, in a weird way, the two bands that I play in fit to the analogy between reality and virtual bliss. Of course, they both are ‘real’ bands with living musicians playing ‘real’ instruments. But there is a big difference.
‘Noise Market’ is much bigger and hence more of a pain. Despite the members being funny, it feels more work than pleasure. There is a sort of impending burden when there are scheduled practice sessions or recording session. I fully expect to get hurt and feel bad during sessions with them. Yes, we have a recording label and have cut an album and we are going to be celebrities if things go well. But this professional attitude has definitely taken almost all the ‘fun’ out of being in the band. Since we indulge in original stuff, there is a lot of ego and there are always more arguments and misunderstandings. In short, it feels like real life.
Shoonyas, on the other hand, is almost comical and purposeless. We hardly indulge in regular practice. We don’t have any formed agenda for our future. Of course, there is a lot of talk about how we should become bigger on the scene. But nothing comes out of it. The songs are entirely covers (until now). Hence, work-load is less as well. But it is always fun. Even while goofing up, there are hardly any edgy moments. There is definitely less ego and less pressure.
Tonight, as I type in, my life feels so much better. Why? Maybe because there wasn’t any Noise Market stuff going on - just a fun-filled practice session with Shoonyas.
I think it’s the levels of stress and hurtful things that I’m avoiding when I’m being with real friends. Real people could hurt you by their vicious comments which are almost always uncalled for. On the internet, people seem to be serene and a lot funnier. Besides, the stream of thought seems to relate too. Obviously you see snidely remarks online as way. But somehow or the other, there is this coating of well-mannered humor in there.
The easiest way to get around to facing the god-forsaken happenings of reality is by using humor. Most people would argue that humor is the best defense mechanism. It helps to get used to it. For me at least, laughing at practical impossibilities is the only way to deal with them, when I can deal with them. Most of the times though, nothing really helps. That’s when I think of getting anti-depressants.
Anyway, in a weird way, the two bands that I play in fit to the analogy between reality and virtual bliss. Of course, they both are ‘real’ bands with living musicians playing ‘real’ instruments. But there is a big difference.
‘Noise Market’ is much bigger and hence more of a pain. Despite the members being funny, it feels more work than pleasure. There is a sort of impending burden when there are scheduled practice sessions or recording session. I fully expect to get hurt and feel bad during sessions with them. Yes, we have a recording label and have cut an album and we are going to be celebrities if things go well. But this professional attitude has definitely taken almost all the ‘fun’ out of being in the band. Since we indulge in original stuff, there is a lot of ego and there are always more arguments and misunderstandings. In short, it feels like real life.
Shoonyas, on the other hand, is almost comical and purposeless. We hardly indulge in regular practice. We don’t have any formed agenda for our future. Of course, there is a lot of talk about how we should become bigger on the scene. But nothing comes out of it. The songs are entirely covers (until now). Hence, work-load is less as well. But it is always fun. Even while goofing up, there are hardly any edgy moments. There is definitely less ego and less pressure.
Tonight, as I type in, my life feels so much better. Why? Maybe because there wasn’t any Noise Market stuff going on - just a fun-filled practice session with Shoonyas.
The trans-atlantic wave of depression
Don't blame me for getting into a this sullen mood. The reality is so. Everyone in my virtual blog world knows how badly I want to live with Vinokur and lead a family with kids and stuff. For that to happen we have to have a few things ironed out. And those seem to impossible.
Apart from that, the rats, the state of affairs in the band and the exam situation aren't helpling me a lot either, you know. After posting this, I'm planning to get rid of that unforgiving stench rat-excreta stench. I'm already two rat-kill cakes down. There seems to be no respite. I am seriously considering getting a cat. They always, seems to make me feel better. Another thing that would make me happy is a lot of commenting. All of you, who want to help a soul, please do drop in comments.
- Me to the US - Well I don't have a VISA. I don't have money. I don't seem to be getting any significant money in the near future.
- Him to India - He has a VISA. But his savings have gone to null after the hospital admission and his private nurse salaries.
- His health - He seems to be crippling due to the maladies that are infesting him. And as you know, the health system in the states is very weird.
Apart from that, the rats, the state of affairs in the band and the exam situation aren't helpling me a lot either, you know. After posting this, I'm planning to get rid of that unforgiving stench rat-excreta stench. I'm already two rat-kill cakes down. There seems to be no respite. I am seriously considering getting a cat. They always, seems to make me feel better. Another thing that would make me happy is a lot of commenting. All of you, who want to help a soul, please do drop in comments.
The aftermath
I don't know why I'm typing this now. My head hangs in disappointment after an average performance at the gig. My arms ache from all the lugging of the equipment for the gig. My fingers are sore with all the excessive plucking of the strings. My heart is proud but wary of the consequences of my 'coming out' on press and television. My stomach feels a tad empty because I'm lazy to make/order/eat anything (substantial). My legs are tired of walking for the pride march.
Tonight would have been ideal for me and Vinokur to be spending a few quiet hours together, in each others arms: him running his fingers through my hair, gently massaging my scalp as I caress him and snuggle my nose into his furry chest. This is the day that I miss him. I love you my Vinokur!
Tonight would have been ideal for me and Vinokur to be spending a few quiet hours together, in each others arms: him running his fingers through my hair, gently massaging my scalp as I caress him and snuggle my nose into his furry chest. This is the day that I miss him. I love you my Vinokur!
Me, an asshole
Thanks for all of you who tried to help me out! I'm afraid, that is not working out. I'm going through all kinds of feelings right now. I feel insulted, hurt, aimless, indecisive, egotistic and selfish. I acted like an asshole and I left the mixing session in rage after finding out again that there was no point in me trying to tell my band mates what I felt like. All it leads to is more conflicts and less productivity.
I am sure I must have acted like an ass to get the response that I got from my band. I can understand that. But the thing that I fail to understand is why the fuck was I spending my time there in the first place? I could have easily been at home doing something. Maybe even studying. The rest of the band could have easily sat together and done the mixing that had to be done. I act like a depressing thought-block to my band. We don't get anywhere. We just simply waste time and money. The end result is something that the band cannot totally agree with, a lot of built-up frustrations for the members and a lot of mental agony for me. The fact is that I'm weak, but not meek. Despite being the eldest member of the band, I act like a child. I'm hard to convince and I'm very hard to agree with.
Even today, Vinokur gave me his advice. 'Don't try to change things that can't be change. Choose your battles. Just play along if it's not going to help anything.' Everything is so true. Just that I was stupid enough to not see the light. Just the same way that I fail to see the light when my band members suggest anything.
What it resulted in is that I am totally lacking in confidence, self-belief and self-esteem. I think I should turn back to good old 'antidepressants'.
(PS: I'm sure that I'm going to get shouted at for posting this. I think I should start another blog, where I could bare my heart fearlessly.)
I am sure I must have acted like an ass to get the response that I got from my band. I can understand that. But the thing that I fail to understand is why the fuck was I spending my time there in the first place? I could have easily been at home doing something. Maybe even studying. The rest of the band could have easily sat together and done the mixing that had to be done. I act like a depressing thought-block to my band. We don't get anywhere. We just simply waste time and money. The end result is something that the band cannot totally agree with, a lot of built-up frustrations for the members and a lot of mental agony for me. The fact is that I'm weak, but not meek. Despite being the eldest member of the band, I act like a child. I'm hard to convince and I'm very hard to agree with.
Even today, Vinokur gave me his advice. 'Don't try to change things that can't be change. Choose your battles. Just play along if it's not going to help anything.' Everything is so true. Just that I was stupid enough to not see the light. Just the same way that I fail to see the light when my band members suggest anything.
What it resulted in is that I am totally lacking in confidence, self-belief and self-esteem. I think I should turn back to good old 'antidepressants'.
(PS: I'm sure that I'm going to get shouted at for posting this. I think I should start another blog, where I could bare my heart fearlessly.)
The importance of being tidy
I have had a rough time in the last month or so. My life is in disarray. I have had an erratic 'working' schedule with the recording at the studio and rehearsals. My studies have taken a backseat and I have not been going to the library. I have been chatting with Vinokur late into the night and despite trying to sleep early, it hasn't worked so far. I have done a lot of blogging around in the free time that I have had. And on top of that, my social life was also kinda hitting a high.
I am not hitting the gym and I am worried about gaining back a flab that I had lost in the first few months in there. Wondering why I am not gymming? 1) Because I have tendinitis of my left hand. I don't want to injure it in anyway as we have gigs lined up. What I'm hoping is that I can consult with my doctor at the hospital, a reputed orthopaedician, if it is safe to hit the gym again. And I need to do that soon. Probably this Tuesday as I have a day of mixing at the studio. 2) I can't really follow the high protein with fruits and fancy things because I'm running low on finances.
All this meant that my usually organized self got disheveled. I don't have a regular schedule of getting up, going to the gym, going to the library, studying and then having the whole evening to myself. Well, not just myself; the band, Vinokur, friends, Internet friends etc. Someone might point out that I have too much going on in my life and I should cut down on something to get back into the groove. Tell me, what can I sacrifice? Band? Vinokur? Internet? Myself? Sleep?
Nothing really. Well, it's not that I have not had enough to organize myself. But I haven't been able to. I have tried probably a little lazily. But with nobody to really push me around even I did a lot of 'slouching'. And every now and then, I felt bad about it myself and I had decided to do something about it. Alas, something or the other comes up.
Yesterday, I was feeling the worst about this and I decide that I had enough. In homage to that decision I turned down 1 each of movie, hang-out and dinner invites from my friends yesterday night. I also turned down an offer to meet up with an old college friend of mine who happens to live just a couple of blocks from my apartment. Yeah, on Saturday night, just like a loser, I spent my time alone. Well not really. But with Vinokur and with my Internet friends. This gave me the wonderful opportunity to sleep early and I did sleep by around 1 am in the night. The result was fantastic.
Sunday morning, I did start brightly. I got up nice and early and after the formality of the Sunday Times with coffee and toast, I decided to finish up a truck-load of chores. At the end of the afternoon, I feel nice and fresh with my shampooed hair smelling good and I'm surrounded by a nice and tidy apartment. And I did do this while watching Seinfeld and Friends (after I got bored of watching the test match that is).
After my practice session which got postpone from the morning to evening, I can probably re-start my studies. I will turn it around this time. Yes, I will!
I am not hitting the gym and I am worried about gaining back a flab that I had lost in the first few months in there. Wondering why I am not gymming? 1) Because I have tendinitis of my left hand. I don't want to injure it in anyway as we have gigs lined up. What I'm hoping is that I can consult with my doctor at the hospital, a reputed orthopaedician, if it is safe to hit the gym again. And I need to do that soon. Probably this Tuesday as I have a day of mixing at the studio. 2) I can't really follow the high protein with fruits and fancy things because I'm running low on finances.
All this meant that my usually organized self got disheveled. I don't have a regular schedule of getting up, going to the gym, going to the library, studying and then having the whole evening to myself. Well, not just myself; the band, Vinokur, friends, Internet friends etc. Someone might point out that I have too much going on in my life and I should cut down on something to get back into the groove. Tell me, what can I sacrifice? Band? Vinokur? Internet? Myself? Sleep?
Nothing really. Well, it's not that I have not had enough to organize myself. But I haven't been able to. I have tried probably a little lazily. But with nobody to really push me around even I did a lot of 'slouching'. And every now and then, I felt bad about it myself and I had decided to do something about it. Alas, something or the other comes up.
Yesterday, I was feeling the worst about this and I decide that I had enough. In homage to that decision I turned down 1 each of movie, hang-out and dinner invites from my friends yesterday night. I also turned down an offer to meet up with an old college friend of mine who happens to live just a couple of blocks from my apartment. Yeah, on Saturday night, just like a loser, I spent my time alone. Well not really. But with Vinokur and with my Internet friends. This gave me the wonderful opportunity to sleep early and I did sleep by around 1 am in the night. The result was fantastic.
Sunday morning, I did start brightly. I got up nice and early and after the formality of the Sunday Times with coffee and toast, I decided to finish up a truck-load of chores. At the end of the afternoon, I feel nice and fresh with my shampooed hair smelling good and I'm surrounded by a nice and tidy apartment. And I did do this while watching Seinfeld and Friends (after I got bored of watching the test match that is).
After my practice session which got postpone from the morning to evening, I can probably re-start my studies. I will turn it around this time. Yes, I will!
The picnic at 'Doctor's farm'
Today (3rd of August), Friendship Day, oozed with fun. 1 hour and 20 minutes of sleep before a relaxing picnic might not be your idea of fun, but as some of you might be knowing, hyposomnolence (noun: a state of lack of sleep, etymology: Engayging Life, the blog) does wonders for me like increased libido, a certain level of happiness etc. I felt that it improved the overall experience of the picnic.
We went to a place called 'Doctor's Farm' in Kolad (somewhere between Mumbai and Pune, as one of the tired organizers explained to me on our way back. I doubted the authenticity of that claim and I was correct) in a bus and accompanying me were the gayest and the cutest men you will ever see. Drown in the misery of envy and jealousy (;) that was intended for a few fellow bloggers)!
I and him caught up with a lot of our lives as the bus meandered across Mumbai, halting at the various 'pick-up points' in the city to 'pick-up' gay men interested in 'fun'. And the 'fun' did start as the bus took the highway with Antaaksharis and stuff. Hence, whilst the ladies were having a giant blue whale of a time, I started off with my photo shoots. I took a lot of pictures of theguys gays in various positions of howling, wailing, yapping and yowling.
Soon it was time for introductions which were nothing but charming. One of the core members of GB, who has the wiliest shade of sense of humor and a tendency to flourish even in his 'digs' stood by the introductee to help 'come out' to the crowd. A sample: a guy with a place without the boy friend would be asked to mention the charge rates for 'happy hours', 'midnight charges' etc. Everyone, including the most reluctant of all newbies were laughing, baring and sharing themselves; this is what these parties are for and that's where GB seems to achieve what it strives so hard to: to provide gays a safe & comfortable environment to get comfortable with their sexuality.
In about 3 hours after the start, we reached our destination: a beautiful countryside with the fantasy land look with meadows, streams, waterfalls. The air was hot and humid or else, it would just like a dream. At the farm house, at least I was surprised to see the facilities. A relatively equipped kitchen/restaurant, good toilets/bathrooms and huge dorm like rooms (something that you would have seen in dreams about orgies) complimented the garden and lounging place.
The frolic lingered on during the breakfast and the changing session (where young, attractive gays get together in this big dorm room to undress themselves and then to put on skimpy swimming attire) which was highlighted by the catwalk of the queens. I, despite being as un-queen-y and grace-less as Prince Charles, did the walk too - and received insane amounts of cheering - much misplaced I presume. I was loaned a t-shirt and a pair of shorts by the aforementioned bundle of wit which saved me the blemishes of my lack of preparedness for the picnic.
In a ride simulating the African safaris; just replace wild grazing animals with wild 'gay'zing men, we were tempo-ported to the stream and waterfall. We were surprisingly not alone there. Other picnic groups and a group of native children were enjoying nature downstream. 50 out of the 52 strong group jumped into the cool, calming stream. I myself was a little scared of slipping in the mossy rock and injuring myself. The two hours spent hence can't be put in words. Even those were a little shy at the outset unshackled themselves to enjoy.
I, after an hour and a half in the water, some of which was spent under and behind the waterfall, decided to get out and take some snaps. I don't think I really needed to say anything more lest for the chance to make someone else feel sorry about what they were missing out: beautifully sculptured, near-naked bodies of handsome gay men draped in virtually nothing posing for me! Honestly, I didn't expect to be enjoying taking photos of them! But did I have fun!
Four of them (including) him, were very good at posing and I was able to take some shots worthy of magazine covers and center-spreads. The others, even a little unsure and couth in their way, posed for me. The only thing which sort of chucked away a little bit of fun was some gerontophobic comments from almost everyone in our group about a group of older men bathing nearby. I did try to vocalize my protests but soon rested my case.
Back at the farm, another wet-dream of regular gays transpired as most showered (not in common showers, ladies) and got dressed. After a very tasty lunch, I showed many how handsome they looked in the photos. Soon, we were playing 'Dumb Charades'. I realized a startling fact: gay men are really the best in such games with their intelligence, charm and talents showing through. That took us through to tea and it was time to leave.
I, by then, was feeling rather tired and moody and reclused to my phone where I spent time checking my e-mail and blogs. The energy of the group hardly feel though as I heard spasms of laughter every few seconds in the Truth or Dare and Antaakshari games.
All in all, a fantastic experience. One, in which I confirmed that gay men are tons more fun than straight men. The Friendship Day in which I made a few good friends, I wish I could mention the names to thank (to [F. C.], [D.], [S. H.], [M. R.], [N. N. R.]). And I got to know better of my already-befriended ones ([H. G.], [U. S.], [A.], [S. J.], [H. J.], [S. B.]).
And I'm already looking forward to next picnic.
(PS: A very happy and not-so-very-belated Friendship Day!)
We went to a place called 'Doctor's Farm' in Kolad (somewhere between Mumbai and Pune, as one of the tired organizers explained to me on our way back. I doubted the authenticity of that claim and I was correct) in a bus and accompanying me were the gayest and the cutest men you will ever see. Drown in the misery of envy and jealousy (;) that was intended for a few fellow bloggers)!
I and him caught up with a lot of our lives as the bus meandered across Mumbai, halting at the various 'pick-up points' in the city to 'pick-up' gay men interested in 'fun'. And the 'fun' did start as the bus took the highway with Antaaksharis and stuff. Hence, whilst the ladies were having a giant blue whale of a time, I started off with my photo shoots. I took a lot of pictures of the
Confession: I suck at Antaakshari. I think it can be attributed to my relative abstinence from Bollywood music for the many yeas. All I know are a few songs which I listened to in my childhood. Besides, I somehow find the 'tone-deaf' singing hard to fathom.
Soon it was time for introductions which were nothing but charming. One of the core members of GB, who has the wiliest shade of sense of humor and a tendency to flourish even in his 'digs' stood by the introductee to help 'come out' to the crowd. A sample: a guy with a place without the boy friend would be asked to mention the charge rates for 'happy hours', 'midnight charges' etc. Everyone, including the most reluctant of all newbies were laughing, baring and sharing themselves; this is what these parties are for and that's where GB seems to achieve what it strives so hard to: to provide gays a safe & comfortable environment to get comfortable with their sexuality.
In about 3 hours after the start, we reached our destination: a beautiful countryside with the fantasy land look with meadows, streams, waterfalls. The air was hot and humid or else, it would just like a dream. At the farm house, at least I was surprised to see the facilities. A relatively equipped kitchen/restaurant, good toilets/bathrooms and huge dorm like rooms (something that you would have seen in dreams about orgies) complimented the garden and lounging place.
The frolic lingered on during the breakfast and the changing session (where young, attractive gays get together in this big dorm room to undress themselves and then to put on skimpy swimming attire) which was highlighted by the catwalk of the queens. I, despite being as un-queen-y and grace-less as Prince Charles, did the walk too - and received insane amounts of cheering - much misplaced I presume. I was loaned a t-shirt and a pair of shorts by the aforementioned bundle of wit which saved me the blemishes of my lack of preparedness for the picnic.
In a ride simulating the African safaris; just replace wild grazing animals with wild 'gay'zing men, we were tempo-ported to the stream and waterfall. We were surprisingly not alone there. Other picnic groups and a group of native children were enjoying nature downstream. 50 out of the 52 strong group jumped into the cool, calming stream. I myself was a little scared of slipping in the mossy rock and injuring myself. The two hours spent hence can't be put in words. Even those were a little shy at the outset unshackled themselves to enjoy.
I, after an hour and a half in the water, some of which was spent under and behind the waterfall, decided to get out and take some snaps. I don't think I really needed to say anything more lest for the chance to make someone else feel sorry about what they were missing out: beautifully sculptured, near-naked bodies of handsome gay men draped in virtually nothing posing for me! Honestly, I didn't expect to be enjoying taking photos of them! But did I have fun!
Four of them (including) him, were very good at posing and I was able to take some shots worthy of magazine covers and center-spreads. The others, even a little unsure and couth in their way, posed for me. The only thing which sort of chucked away a little bit of fun was some gerontophobic comments from almost everyone in our group about a group of older men bathing nearby. I did try to vocalize my protests but soon rested my case.
Back at the farm, another wet-dream of regular gays transpired as most showered (not in common showers, ladies) and got dressed. After a very tasty lunch, I showed many how handsome they looked in the photos. Soon, we were playing 'Dumb Charades'. I realized a startling fact: gay men are really the best in such games with their intelligence, charm and talents showing through. That took us through to tea and it was time to leave.
I, by then, was feeling rather tired and moody and reclused to my phone where I spent time checking my e-mail and blogs. The energy of the group hardly feel though as I heard spasms of laughter every few seconds in the Truth or Dare and Antaakshari games.
All in all, a fantastic experience. One, in which I confirmed that gay men are tons more fun than straight men. The Friendship Day in which I made a few good friends, I wish I could mention the names to thank (to [F. C.], [D.], [S. H.], [M. R.], [N. N. R.]). And I got to know better of my already-befriended ones ([H. G.], [U. S.], [A.], [S. J.], [H. J.], [S. B.]).
And I'm already looking forward to next picnic.
(PS: A very happy and not-so-very-belated Friendship Day!)
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