An interesting suggestion

The other day, someone contacted me on a dating app.

Before we get any further -- Yes, I am partnered and I'm still active on these dating apps. To hell with idealized, restrictive, socially reinforced "monogamy". I'm still monogamous sexually/emotionally, but that is a choice because the relationship that I'm in would benefit from it. I still enjoy chatting and flirting with people from around the world. And yes, some of the material on these dating sites is very good fodder for masturbation.

So among the several who contact me on these dating apps, one stood out. This younger man seemed to find my profile interested and found me "sane and sorted". He then went on to check my blog(s) (I guess both Engayging Life and Neverlast). In the chat conversation that followed, where we discussed how this blog was way more mainstream than it is now, he suggested that I took some time out from my otherwise busy life, contribute to the community.

In other words, he proposed that my writings could still be relevant in the current day and age to help LGBTQI folk. Interviews and op-eds, maybe.

I discuss such things with my partner and a close friend. My partner, admittedly jealous (yes, I am ashamed that jealousy is still a thing in our relationship) suggested that the nice words was pure flattery. The friend thought that this was not such a bad idea.

Hmmmm.

An update about Neverlast

Blogging seems so late 2000s these days, at least for me.

Until about 6 years ago, around the time I met J, this blog used to be where I opened my heart out, and let loose all the shit that my brain came up with. I'm not suggesting that the outlet that I had on this blog has somehow been replaced by a man. No, not at all. Yet, I admit that we do have strange conversations. But that's not why I stopped writing here.

Life became packed. Dating someone within the same geographical boundaries means that your social life kinda doubles. Plus music. Gigs, rehearsals, gigs, and more. Plus, ever heard of social media and podcasts?

Yet, a few years ago, when I was visiting my parents in Thiruvananthapuram, I scratched that itch to write again. Write blogs, that is. I had just started exploring Tumblr and I thought, Why not? Tumblr had a nice app which you could easily draft posts in. It was more intuitive for sharing images/gifs. Why not, indeed? That's how Neverlast was born.

Strangely enough [with three heaped scoops of irony], Tumblr became my desirable source of erotica. Anyway, Tumblr, for some fucking reason, does not let you have multiple user accounts on the app. That was a huge dampner to my blogging efforts. Since then, I have linked  my Instagram to Tumblr, and Neverlast gets all my instas, yo.

Coming to the point -- I'm back with my parents. Some slight changes, though. They are in Chennai. My father is in his deathbed. My mother has become even more complaining and talkative than she was before. I'm here helping my sister out to manage my parents. I'm somehow able to meaningfully communicate and spend time with a child (my niece)! But I have become even more averse to talking on the phone to other people (like J) and share what craziness I'm going through.

This means that all day I go through an exquisitely frustrating ordeal of managing chaos, noise, interruptions, while attempting to work from home. This is indeed no fun. I get my shit together once my Mom goes to bed around 10 pm. And today, I have work to finish. So I took a shower to rinse myself off all the frustration. And in the shower, I thought - Why not, indeed?

So I am going to try and microblog on Neverlast once more. You are welcome to check it out.

The Mowgli in me


Those who have known me for a while would be aware of my ability to make friends just about any cat/dog (a cat/dog whisperer?). Yes, over the years, I have developed to knack of reading the psyche our furry brethren and modulating my behavior/posture to make them feel comfortable and not intimidated.

How did this all start? When I was 6 years old, I started the daily ritual of going over to my neighborhood friend’s house with my elder sister. I was too young to play with my considerably elder peers. Fortunately, I found some other playmates, thanks to my neighbor’s grandmother. Her passion was rearing cats, and she had about 20 of them[1] (with ~2 or 3 litters of kittens) at any point in time. I was initially afraid of these adorable but hazardous monsters, but I slowly got used to being with them and handling them. I started paying closer attention to how kittens/cats behaved, and eventually learned how to mimic their cries and sounds. [2] In fact, I became so effective in managing them that my neighbor’s family called me for help regarding any feline emergencies!

At 12 years of age, I adopted one my of my neighbor’s cats (Thalla Poocha – meaning Mother Cat in Malayalam) who brought dozens of litters of joy to my house over the next decade. I eventually adopted (from PETA/SPCA) a cat-friendly dog to help me manage my feline population. During this period, the kittens I raised earned the reputation of being well behaved and human friendly, and eventually were in demand for being adopted. [3] [4] Many of these felines are now spread across Kerala. Eventually, I moved to Bombay for my post-graduation, and adopted a kitten (aptly named Manohar Kadam) at the hostel. He eventually became the darling of the hostel/mess. After moving out of the hostel, I didn't have the means to have pets in my life. But I made friends with cats and dogs whenever I had a chance. One of them is the infamous Motu Patchy, who was a big street dog at the building where my company's offices were in the late 2000s. He started taking seriously the role of “protecting” us to the extent that he would snarl at and chase delivery boys!

Over the last few years, with the help of my partner, I have been able to adopt/rescue a dog in Alibag (KiKi), two kittens in Alibag (Spock[5]/Billyji), and two kittens in Mumbai (Miggins[6]/Blu). Here’s to more paws in mine and our lives!

Blu and I, a week after she was rescued from the mean streets of Colaba.





[1] My grandmother used to tell me these fantastic stories our neighbor’s ~120 cats lining up on a low parapet wall to be fed fish!
[2] I was so nerdy even back then that one my first summer school project was to study cat behavior and psychology!
[3] I eventually adopted another female cat, who could not get along with Thalla Poocha. Coincidentally, these cats two gave birth to two litters of 4 and 5 kittens, separated by just 3 days. I mixed these litters up in their infancy, and the two mom cats shared maternal responsibilities for all 9 kittens.
[4] My Instagram name chachoch is a derivative of the names of my favorite batch of kittens. Chakku, Chokki, Chakki.
[5] Spock has been missing for over a year. Male cats tend migrate and find new territories. We hope that he’s safe and thriving somewhere in the nearby villages.
[6] We lost Miggins to feline leukemia at the tender age of 4 months.

Engayging Life has moved to WordPress

Engayging Life has fully moved to WordPress

Yes, I am alive and I'm still blogging. Regularly. But on WordPress because offers an easier workflow for me. Here is a selection of wh...