The Disparity

Have you ever felt scared of reality? I am beginning to suspect that I am. It is easier for me to be at my computer chatting with my friends and Vinokur than going out there and being with real friends. Damn, it’s easier for me to be with myself and write on this blog and be with virtual friends too. Is this something that I’m going to get used to as I’m growing old?

I think it’s the levels of stress and hurtful things that I’m avoiding when I’m being with real friends. Real people could hurt you by their vicious comments which are almost always uncalled for. On the internet, people seem to be serene and a lot funnier. Besides, the stream of thought seems to relate too. Obviously you see snidely remarks online as way. But somehow or the other, there is this coating of well-mannered humor in there.

The easiest way to get around to facing the god-forsaken happenings of reality is by using humor. Most people would argue that humor is the best defense mechanism. It helps to get used to it. For me at least, laughing at practical impossibilities is the only way to deal with them, when I can deal with them. Most of the times though, nothing really helps. That’s when I think of getting anti-depressants.

Anyway, in a weird way, the two bands that I play in fit to the analogy between reality and virtual bliss. Of course, they both are ‘real’ bands with living musicians playing ‘real’ instruments. But there is a big difference.

‘Noise Market’ is much bigger and hence more of a pain. Despite the members being funny, it feels more work than pleasure. There is a sort of impending burden when there are scheduled practice sessions or recording session. I fully expect to get hurt and feel bad during sessions with them. Yes, we have a recording label and have cut an album and we are going to be celebrities if things go well. But this professional attitude has definitely taken almost all the ‘fun’ out of being in the band. Since we indulge in original stuff, there is a lot of ego and there are always more arguments and misunderstandings. In short, it feels like real life.

Shoonyas, on the other hand, is almost comical and purposeless. We hardly indulge in regular practice. We don’t have any formed agenda for our future. Of course, there is a lot of talk about how we should become bigger on the scene. But nothing comes out of it. The songs are entirely covers (until now). Hence, work-load is less as well. But it is always fun. Even while goofing up, there are hardly any edgy moments. There is definitely less ego and less pressure.

Tonight, as I type in, my life feels so much better. Why? Maybe because there wasn’t any Noise Market stuff going on - just a fun-filled practice session with Shoonyas.