I hate it

Look, because of my lack of sleep as well as the tiredness which sets in after doing something whch doesn't go with the rest of myself (mobilizing the BMC servants to do something on the wards), I left a couple of jobs for the next day despite being ordered to do it that come whatever may.

I got fired for that. I'm very upset with that. They are calling me inefficient. They are alleging me that I'm not interested in work and I don't put my heart in this enough. I don't want such things to happen. I hate that.

To drown all the miseries, one of the lovely sisters in our wards brought me and another houseman fish, fish and more fish. Lovely meal! The only problem is that she's leaving the ward to go to work in another ward. During the meal, I had a good conversation with this houseman who had lucid clear thoughts and opinions on my situation. That was sort of unexpected.

What a surprise!

Wow! Having had a depressing day, I would haven't expected this for a surprise. I Rock XX is going to happen this weekend. In two fucken days! Can you believe that. Now I will have to work out my permissions again. But I don't think that I'll have too much of a problem because everyone knows how I love that.

Hurting questions

I really hate when people sort of drive in facts that you wish were not true. Especially if it with me. I was sleepy throughout the theatre today. Two of my seniors kept of commenting about my appartent disinterest in Orthopaedics and the fact that if I'm not assisting properly in the surgeries.

How I wish I could explain to them that it was because I was unable to sleep properly and the fact that I needed sleep. But that doesn't work out guys!

In the evening, I managed to drown my miseries while listening to the radio. Yeah, it works for a bit.

Efficient

As I told you guys, I was very sleepy yesterday at the emergency. I had to take a nap and I got a 2 hour solid period. I felt thoroughly refreshed after that. Then came the next best thing. I took time out to read paper and shower during the morning hours. This is the first time that I'm doing any such thing between the time period of 9 AM and 5 PM.

All this while the other people were waiting for the grand rounds to happen. That never happens dear reader in the unit that I'm working. Besides, I had a reason to go back to the room.

It must have been the nap which I took in the night. I was fresh throughout the day and I finished most of my stuff early enough in hope of sleeping early. But as usual, something turned up in the night and I had to sleep in the ward for about 4 hours.

Another sleepy emergency

I don't know how I ending fucked up each and every emergency. Today as well, I'm feeling sleepy all throughout. That's because I'm not sleeping early enough on pre-emergency days. See this is were time management in my life gives up. I shouldn't have eaten out you might say. Yeah, alright. But then, don't I deserve something good once in awhile.

Fit for surgery

Yesterday evening, after I had returned from my escapade of sorts, I reached my ward where my blood tests had arrived. And guess what! I was very very fit for surgery. I had enough blood in my body to survive two major orthopaedic surgeries!

Along with that, I awaited reports of the rest of the reports including my seropositivity status.

Another good thing happened yesterday night. I and my co-houseman went to a famous Marvadi resturant chain in South Mumbai. I can't recall their name. No, I get it now. BCTC - Bhagatchand Tarachand! But we had a great time there eating buttered up chappathis and curries. To top things off, we had two pints of buttermilk. Lovely evening!

Updates

• Mr. Lion - I've requested for a 'meeting' with him when I visit home
  
• Ray - has had an episode of 'cruising luck' last week. He got shagged off by a middle aged men
  
• Chuck is hanging out with his former best friend who's visiting home from the UK. He's otherwise enjoying life as a groomed Orthopaedic resident
  
• May, who has passed the diploma course she was doing, is planning to give exams to get a Degree course. She also has plans to go the US as a Plan 'B'.
  
• Dr. R. - nothing new. He is about to leave the hospital in hometown as his exams are coming up. I hope to meet him when I visit and continue the wonderful friendship.
  
• My sister - is worried about what's happening with me. I would love to catch up with her when we meet at Chennai to head home next to next weekend.
  
• My parents are anxious to see me. My Mom's having her 60th birthday in October 2nd week which is going to celebrated in our family. That is why I'm going down under within in India.
  

Blood tests

Today, I'm undergoing blood tests. Routine tests and some special tests for arthritis. After that, I came out on my 'Dentist visits'. I activated National roaming as I can't believe that in less that two weeks, I'm going home on vacation.

Listening and Learning

I cleaned up my room after I came from Xanders. Then I went to the ward. Was very happy. Another reason to cheer was that the news of my 'girlfriend' being in Mumbai was spreading. Everyone was asking me. I was happy to play happy. That sure relieves some pressure of me.

In the night, I spent some nice time reading to Orthopaedic theory (whoa, after a long long time) while listening to Incubus, System of a Down etc on Zen Micro. By the way, it has an excellent Album of the day function. Why did I venture out to do that? Because my guide in my MS course wanted me to start that.

Sunday Morning Call

Yesterday nights events, along with the fact that I didn't sleep okay forced me to ask for permission for half-day off on a Sunday. Actually, it isn't much of a problem taking this. The morning rounds, where nothing happens is a half an hour issue. I asked my co-resident to cover up for me.

After doing that, I slept. Xander and me got about 1 AM. After that, Xander, who didn't remember anything from the night, started playing some metallica riff. I was finishing up on sorting my mp3 player collection.

Then we spent some time jamming some metallica. Again it sounded great. As I was leaving, I told him about what had happened to me over the week. I also told him how hurt I was when he said those mean things when he got drunk. He was surprised and sorry to hear that.

But does that solve the problem? No it doesn't. I want him to stop drinking at least when I am there to jam. I have told him clearly that. I hope he thinks long and hard about it and does something about it.

Why the title? Because I, after a long time, have access to Oasis thru my Zen Micro - Sunday Morning Call is one of Oasis' songs.

At Xanders

Even as I was leaving for Xanders, I was feeling extremely happy and contended. I couldn't explain why. Maybe it was the fact that I was going home to jam. Maybe it was because I could get my Zen Micro back to working.

We did both of that. But Xander was drinking Rum. Before he got high enough to lose all senses we played some amazing sounding music. My Bass and the Baby Bass amplifier are making sounds worth millions these days. I was uploading music at the same time.

At about 3 AM, we started having dinner. Soon after that Xander lost it and started bitching about me. He said that I was selfish and I didn't want to practice. That's the reason why I didn't turn up for three weeks. This went on until he started his weird gesturing/acting dumb thing. I guess that it is the culmination of his 'high'. He started interrupting me playing my bass by tuning the guitar out. I lost my patience and I said that I don't want to talk to him.

Soon after, he slept of. I continued uploading songs.

Going to Alex's apartment
Feeling happy despite being shitty
uploading music to micro
Playing some lovely music
Alex and me when he's drunk

Things going wrong

Lots of bad things happened today.

• The tubing issue is still not sorted. Already, my co-residents have assured me that I wouldn't have problems with the anaesthesia department. But that was the falsest of all assurances. In the morning, I already got a call from the lecturer asking me to pay.
  
  
• Then I got a lot of rude comments from my seniors who said that I was not good at surgery and didn't not have the aptitude for Orthopaedics. Yeah, I'm not making it up. Just when I was doubting myself, they push me further into the hole.
  
  
• My lecturer examined my ankle and gave me differential diagnoses
  
  
  
  • Rheumatoid Arthritis
    
  • Gout
    
  • Tubercular Arthritis
    
  
  
  
• Another lecture from an anaesthesia lecturer over the phone did me in. She demands Rs. 8, 000 Rs. for the tubing!
  
  

I finally decided that I needed to take a break. I'm going to Xanders'.

The master and the servants

When I'm in the ward, I'm sort of the 'Master' and there are 'Servants' to work under me. There is no pun at all in the sentence preceding this even though it looks so like it has. Whatever! What I want to tell you is that I'm very happy with the servants in one of the wards that I work in. They are friendly, have sense of humour and are quirky in one way or the other. After last week's incident, I guess I'm trying harder as well. Anyway, I'm very happy. They warm my food when it comes as a parcel and stuff. I share it with them. Besides, there is this one servant which I would call BB who gives me a body to touch; in the good sense! hahaha

Evening out

Today, had a good evening. I went out to buy a table lamp (Study lamp sort of) because the tube light in my room (over my bed actually) went off a few days back. In that process, I saw some cute lamps. But, all were expensive and not fitting my budget.

Finally I went to an electrical shop and was I served by someone hot! Whoa baby! Totally hot! Except of unkempt hair. 50 ish, great smile, awesome voice, mushy, chesty, great forearms. I was disappointed at not achieving eye contact. I was so drooling with saliva that a lot of expensive electrical equipment were shortcircuited due to the slow, persistent dribble.

And he too goes...

If it is a coincidence or what, my patient gets worser on the OPD days. Honestly, I don't think that I am fit enough for sitting at the OPD. With this amount of sleep deprivation, I'd rather miss the OPDs. I'm making use of this time by catching up on my newspaper reading. Last few weeks, I was almost out of touch by about a week. After this week, I'll at least finish a day's newspaper on the day after.

Finally, in the afternoon, the patient died. I didn't try to revive him too much after strict instructions from seniors. But I felt bad that I couldn't do anything; even to a man who had little hope of making it.

Allegations

As always, my days cannot end without misery. Halfway through my OT day, the anaesthetists at the theatre, started bitching about. It was about a piece of tubing that came with the ventilator on which my patient is surviving. Apparently, a T-piece connector sort of thing which was supposed to be there is not there. And the blame is on me for losing it.

I'm dead sure that I didn't have it when the ventilator had arrived. That's for sure. I have witnensses to prove this. But still everyone started alleging me for professional inefficiency. That includes the hot sir at the theatre. Not only that, they want me to pay huge sums for a new set of the whole tubing. Obviously, I was hurt. I finally felt the cruelty that this world dishesout.

How adequate sleep can help

Overcompensating for my sleep yesterday, I assured that everything; and I mean every single possible thing went to plan the next day. Sure it did. And my seniors were happy. One thing that was clear from this episode that I need some adequate sleep to function like I'm used to working. Efficient, reliable and professional. These days, my skills aren't quite living upto the standards that I had set back at home.

zzzzz ZZZZZ zzzzz ZZZZZ ....

I slept for a whole 8 hours overshooting the official deadline by a solid three hours. My seniors were so enraged when I didn't come to ward as expected. My mobile was on silent mode and I didn't listen to the call. The alarm clock didn't ring properly I guessed. But the coincidence is that my co-resident also slept. I can't believe I did that.

Missing emerg

Yesterday night, I had to get the patient on the ventilator finally. For that I had to put in a lot of efforts to get one. My seniors weren't happy with what I'm doing because there was the slightest chance of the patient coming out of the ventilator. Besides, because I was in the wards, the things in the emergency got out of control. They asked me why I wanted to prolong the agony. Well, I can't explain why I would like to save the life of a patient.

In the night, I had to leave my patient in the ward and go to the emergency OT. There, I was struggling. One thing was the sleeplessness of the last three nights. The other thing was the ankle pain and swelling I got when I assisted a surgery without bandaging for some time. This is becoming worser by the minute.

Coming out officially...

I had sent a call to the Psychiatrist on call for the patient that I posted about last post. It was a lady who had seen a few calls for my patient in the last few weeks. I had already established a rapport with him. I have to admit it, she is a very interesting person to talk to. Almost bubbly with smiles and jokes. As we were talking about, we entered the topic of counselling. I enquired if she could suggest someone in the department for counselling.

After that she started asking me questions about my problems. I mentioned a few of my problems. Then she asked me if I have a girlfriend. Well, I had the urge to tell her that I'm gay. And I did that. She was, as you would expect, warm and accepting. After that, I'd lost all my inhibiions and we talked for a good hour or so. It was nice experience. For one thing, I came out officially. Secondly, I think I have a good prospective friend - her blogname would be Dr. T!

Topsy Tuesday

I think I'm not thinking about reverting back to long posts. Short sweet posts are easier to read and understand.

Yesterday night, as opposed to a routine pre-emerg day, I had a busy night trying to save the life of a patient. This patient, a young male who suffered trauma to his cervical spinal cord while carrying a headload went into respiratory failure. At first he deceived us first with symptoms of delusions and hallucinations. Retrospectively, he was in Carbondioxide narcosis. I had to stay awake during most of the night monitoring the patient. But that did pave way for an interesting conversation during the eventful night.

Apart from that, the tube light (fluorescent light) just stopped working. I called in the electricians. Apparently it will take some time to get it back on.

Strangenes with kids

Read '1251'. How would you read it?

• One thousand and fifty one
  
• Twelve fifty one
  
• Twelve five one
  
• One two five one
  

That's about it I guess. But check out the strangeness kids in general. This number was printed on a banner on top of a double-decker bus just ahead of me in the traffic snarl today. A family was riding on a motorcycle behind me. There was this 7 odd year old kid sitting up front and she said..

One twenty five one

!

This is why I hate kids. They are so strange. They are so irritiatingly strange.

Zen Micro's back

Whoa, baby! I went to get back the Zen micro half expecting a disappointing end to the work week. That's cuz I was not able to get in touch with the service center before I started on a Kiney. But it paid off, I got it. A brand new one with 1 month warranty. Fuck the warranty, I have my player.

I'm so happy.

I was singing on my ride back after getting another, this time expensive, FM radio. This is because I don't think I'm going to allow myself to carry my Zen Micro every day to the wardss. On the search for the FM radio, I stumbled on to a shop which has Ipods and its accessories. I asked them about Ipod Nano. They said it will be arriiving in a week's time. I couldn't believe my ears!

What a great day!

Wine-o-mania

I think I have quit beer. But have taken up wine. Yesterday, I read the wonderful article from NY times on DNA (I love the daily) about the pros and cons of Wine and Beer. Ever since, I wanted to drink wine. I executed that yesterday night itself when we guys (residents) went to the original Hazaara restarant where we get Tandoori and good food along with beverages. I had a great time.

Just one problem. Lots of farting! Yeah! I was so embarassed in the morning today when I had some space alone in the elevator. I let out a smelly fart. Immediately after, the elevator stopped to let in a distinguished looking gentleman who didn't look at me. But it was obvious. I was very embarassed.

May's plans

May has plans to migrate to the US. Since I too have plans, we were talking about it a lot. She asked me to research papers and publications in the time I'm doing my residency. She thinks that it was the most important thing for getting a good match in the USMLE. For that, I need a computer (a laptop) and a camera. Look at me, I'm spending on mp3s and a prospective brand-new mobile phone. Haha, me and my priorities.

Onasadya proper

Finally, I had my deserving Onasadya. With May's family. We had a wonderful chat session preceding the meal during which I had to act the doc for two 'patients'. One of them was May's father and another one a guest invited by May's mother.

I'm not going to talk too much about the food. Cuz it was not the best thing to have happened.

I felt great to talk to one of my friends in persons after a long time. We talked in depths about our lives. She had been to San Fransisco and been close the the Gay village and stuff. I talked about my crises and my life.

This was in the backdrop of the amazing view offered by the seaface window of the apartment in Malabar hill; grey clouds, with a glimmer of sun in the edges, promising a lot for the future, the grey sea bouncing on and off rocks. Wow, so romantic.

During the conversation, I confessed to May that I'm using her as my official 'girlfriend' to give me some breathing space in the cruel straight world that we live in.

Maya's back

May's back from the US. I'm disappointed because I know that she hasn't got the Ipod Nano. That damn thing is so hot that is way out of stock. But I'm very very glad to be able to see her. I'm going to meet her in the afternoon as she's invited me over for a lunch. Wow! At the same time, I had to say lame excuses to Xander for not turning up for jamming this weekend. Honestly, one of the reasons why I didn't go to our apartment is because he had asked for my mp3 CD player. I am scared that he'll not keep in safe and dusted.

Oooh, the Crossword bookstore

I happened to read aobut R. Sriram and the Crossword chain of bookstores which have some sort of mega sale going on. It had to happen on the next day when the gracious relative of a patient of ours, who had borrowed me a book to read, asked it back. It was so uncomfortable to say that I hadn't read that book. I couldn't even make eye contact. But I'm determined. Even though I don't have a shitty minute for reading a book now, I'll definitely take it up, live it up and read it up in Aamchi Mumbai in the coming years.

KH and me

Why was I able to see all this chaotic dancing of Ganapathi visargan up close? Because I had to go pay my Orange bill riding my Kiny (Kiney - Kinetic Honda) as it was the last date. By the way, I don't know how many people are aware of the looks of the Kiney, it is hopeless in looks. It is hard to manoeuvre and it is ill maintained. Still, it is like a charm for me to traverse the interminable traffic of Mumbai. I usually ride with a jeans and a Levis t-shirt with a huge helmet on. My skinny arms protrude out of my shirt like stalks. Boy, how many people would me laughing at me and my bike?

Ganpathi visargan

I don't like religious things. Nothing. I hate the concept of religion even. Therefore, I was half-mocking, half-despising at the almost sczhizoidal behaviour of the crowd marching on for the dipping of the Ganapathi idols on Chowpatty today.

Look, I don't expect to get hate-mail after this post. But still, it is my point of view. I hate the colors and the noise and everything with such festivals. Besides, Ganapthi, is obese and almost ugly in looks. How can you worship such an unsightly god?

The Sheraton

One of my patients which I have to give a dressing regularly, is a young male with paralyisis of both lower limbs. He has a bed sore which is healing due to intensive care given by our doctors. He has had two back surgeries and is in a general state of depression. That is quite expected in such a case I guess.

So, I have read these stories about doctors cheering up patients by asking them to go out and enjoy the fresh air outside and stuff. I wanted to do something of that sort. I wanted to do something like the doctor who convinced a dying patient that he won't die until the last leaf of a dying plant seen through the window would fall. Of course, he then went on to paint a leaf on the window on the night the leaf had fallen. The patient gets back to health at the end of the pleasant story.

I hope you get the point. So what should I do? I love the Sheraton hotel in the neighborhood for its awesome views. This patient's room had a window through wich you had a fantastic diagonally side on view of the Sheraton. After tonight's dressing, I personally moved the cot of the patient so that he could watch it. The grumpy patient said he enjoyed it after it was over and done with. I had a hint of satisfaction and pride after the deed.

But seriously, the Sheraton is awesome! I'll try to get a photo sometime!

Febrile again

The swelling didn't subside. Superadded fever made me fear of the gravest of possibilities. An ankle synovitis which one of my seniors had diagnosed earlier. I'm on analgesics and crepe bandage now. Fever has gone down since afternoon. Another relieving factor is that my co-houseman is back.

The undeed

I don't know if I should be commenting on this on this blog. But I did something hideous. In terms of medical ethical context that is. I fondled someone when that someone was helpless. I don't know why I did it. It must be due to the lack of sleep or rest. Or it might be due to the fact that I'm so deprived of sex. Anyway, it was a different experience. I think my queer quotient just got higher.

Onam in Mumbai

For all those who are not aware, today was "Thiruonam". Back in the place where I come from, which is so obvious to anyone who has been reading my blog quite regularly, Onam is the festival of the year. Thiruonam is the most special day of the festival.

.

First of all, let me just tell you that I was totally unaware of the fact that Onam was around until the week turned around the Sunday when I was offered an 'Onasadya' (meaning full 9 course meal) by the restarant which serves me dinner daily. I decided to go for it.

It was today. It came in one of the plastic bags which are officially banned. It had everything except rice in smaller banned plastic bags. I couldn't eat it on time. I ate it about 4 hours late. Therefore, the food was kinda stale. Still, I enjoyed it. I shared it with a senior from Rajasthan. He said he liked it. Although I didn't fall for the comment, I think it was okay.

But the actually gross thing about the whole deal is that I ate the sadya out of plastic bags. That is a contadiction! That too, a big one! You are supposed to be served in a very special sequence and have to eat out of the plantain leaf to eat the Onasadya.

Sorry to those who lost interest in the post due to the lack of awarenes. Here are a few links to go to get the taste of Onam and it's sadya.

• http://www.southindia.com/onam.htm
  
• http://www.malayalifestivals.dgreetings.com/malayalifestivals/onam/
  
• http://wv.essortment.com/onamfestival_rjjv.htm
  

Zen micro update

:)

:)

:D

Yeah, yeah, yeah! I have broken from the rule of a single para posts. Thats cuz I have great news. My zen micro is repaired and it will cost me about 2200 Rs. Wow! I am going to take care of it like never before! Meanwhile, I have already e-interacted with May and she might bring me Ipod Nano. Oooh, on that matter, has anyone seen the Ipod Nano. It is so sexy. And so amazing. I want to have that badly. I know I'm too selfish greedy and stuff. But it is worth it. Take a look - Ipod Nano.

Balooning...

The swelling's not giving up. It is increasing. Bewilderingly gross it was. I was limping on in the ward. Yet, nobody was willing to give me rest. Even I am a little careless. I didn't put an effort to take rest. I didn't get the medications on fast enough as well. Anyway, by the end of the day, my foot was even more swollen and I was beginning to worry if I had some sort of chronic problem which might require surgery.

Swollen foot

On the downside, I developed pain and swelling around the ankle again. Once more without the history of trauma. It is just nagging now. But I can't understand why it should happen. That too only on the one leg. I suspect some pathology.

Work piled up

Looks as if the double emergency was not enough. My co-houseman had a personal emergency and had to leave us to visit home. That left me with an already deprived team of residents to manage the second day of the 'Double Emergency'. The Doomsday Tuesday, which was the nickname which came up when I first heard the news of him going, didn't turn out to be that bad. In fact, it was good. I was able to do one and assist three surgeries. Ain't that good! And I enjoyed it this time as well. This makes it even better!

Looking back

Yesterday was okay. Not too heavy, not too light. That helped me. I am recovering from a upper respiratory infection with a sore mouth. I could have gone out. Since my dentist appointments are put off for sometime at least, I had time in the afternoon. But I don’t know why, I couldn’t. Some work was still pending at the time I was about to leave.

Shutting up

I cannot shut myself up, at least on the internet; (in real life, my ulcers making even talking painful), without commenting on my ulcers, which I accidentally did earlier in this sentence itself. I’m taking multivitamins and an oral antiseptic gel. They are giving me good relief. But the difficult thing is to eat roti/parathas which everyone loves to eat.

Looking ahead

This weekend is going to be the double emergency weekend. This means that I have Sunday emergency along with the routine one. This means that I’ll be fucked almost the whole of the five days ie. From Sunday through Thursday. Besides I have not had good sleep last week. I’m a little worried if I can pull it off. But the fact that I enjoyed assisting a surgery last week helps me feel better.

Short and Sweet - the new style of posts from Kris

Yeah, I have got a lot to write on and I don't have enough time nor facilities. So, from hereon, until I announce changes, my posts are going to be short and sweet. Short as in confining themselves to a single paragraph. Mostly that is. Sweet... ummm, well I think that they are going to be. Cuz I'm in a great mood. You'll know why at the end of this series ending Monday, the 19th of September, 2005.

More home food +updates

This week, I started a new system for dinner. The kind of food that I used to eat back at home delivered as a parcel daily evening. Whoa, having a good time with it. The only disappointment is that I'm eating it so late that it loses all its taste. But still it is quite great!

Besides, I'm having this episode of oral ulceration which is destroying the peace of my life. About 25 ulcers in the floor of my mouth. Along with that, as a compliment, I'm having fever and sore throat. I guess I need to take antibiotics.

On the family front, today, I chatted simultaneously with my sister and my parents. It felt great. They saw me on webcam too. One good day despite the fever and ulcers!

Finally

This is the day I've been waiting for. I finally enjoyed assisting a surgery. Today we did something in the theatre which was quite out of the ordinary. Thankfully, I was allowed to assist actively in the case. I did that, and I enjoyed it. It is great!

Issues are slowly resolving. Good news, my friends.

Finding an address in Mumbai

Finally I made some time to give my Creative Zen Micro for repair. I went on a rainy afteroon. I had the address and phone number from the internet. I called them up and asked for directions. They gave me some. But still, I took about 1 and a half hours to find that place. This is in South mumbai. Finding buildings is so damn tough here.

I finally gave it for repair. The technician there offered me hope. I'm so wanting to have one. Meanwhile, I have been thinking of getting an Ipod. Coincidentally, the IPod dealer was also nearby. I wanted to take a look at Ipod before deciding on purchase.

I found the dealer alright, but only to find in disgust that he had cut ties with the Apple company.

On the way back, I decided to catch the infamous (or famous) No. 66 bus. It took me about an hour to get in one. Another 1 and a half hour to reach my hospital. Total is 2 and a half hour. I reached that place in a cool 20 minutes by local train.

Mumbai life in short - Trains are heaven! Bus sucks in the evenings!

My colleague

I am slow I know in ward work. But I need everything to be perfect. That takes time. My colleague doesn't like that. He has some issues with this matter I guess. I hope I can sort it out.

Reading home newspaper

Nowadays, I don't get time to read newspapers even. I collect about 5 days of newspaper and select them according to some priorities when I get time. Even though it appears boring, it is actually wholesome pleasure for me. There have been days when after my routine ward work, at 3 Am approx in the morning, I would sit on the toilet with a newspaper that is days old and doze away.

Whatever, I have this patient from my native place in the ward. He gets our local newspaper (the one which I used to read at home). I had a great time catching up with all the happenings there. A great time it was!

The question and the answer

As I've told you, there is a very obvious M&M couple in our hospital. One among them is a servant and the other a paid caretaker for patients. So, today evening I was dressing a wound in a patient the ward were this couple hang out. This servant was helping me with the dressing. He had just come for work and was wearing a bright blue/white sweat shirt which was so gay. As I was chatting with him, he was displaying the whole repertoire of feminine gestures and stuff. Then, all of a sudden, an unintentional but brilliant question came from me.

I asked 'Where is N.? Is he not there?'.

Immediately, the relative with the patient, a 16 year old teen gave me a worried anxious look. The servant seemed embarassed for a moment but regained composure immediately by saying 'He's not there. That's why I'm so depressed.'

I enjoyed the moment. That was the stark reality. People knew about the couple but still they didn't adore them going about like they are. And the couple is still fine with what the people had to offer them.

I hope to get them both on to a pride march in the future. And by the way, I wanted to badly be in a pride march in Mumbai. I hope I get a chance in the near future.

Heavy day

The dinner last night meant that I could only sleep late. That meant that I had not slept good even for a single day last week. That forced me to take a nap during my emergency. I had expected serious scolding from seniors. But it was fine eventually!

Problems with Xander

Xander came to the hospital today to undergo some tests. During the conversation we had, I came to know that he felt very bad of me choosing I Rock over him (and his condition; with malaria) last Saturday. I felt horrible when he said that.

Coming to think of it, I'm doing a lot o things which I wouldn't have otherwise done in this period. I guess it must be due to stress.

On the other hand, we had a nice time having a Smoking Joe's pizza in the hospital. I ordered for him using one of contacts. We got it at half the price and we enjoyed the meal!

Dinner surprise

Sunday night, that is yesterday, I was in the mood for a nice dinner. Something like Tandoori chicken (I guess the thing has caught up) and beer. But then the routine place was far away. Besides, I needed to sleep.

So I thought, I'll visit a nearby hotel/bar which I haven't visited yet. I had heard that it was good. After visiting the ATM, I went to the hotel. As I was going through the menu, I was surprised out of my skins when someone came up from behind and asked

'Doctor, can we join you?'

It was none other than the relatives of a very nice patient that I have. They said that they were at first scared that I would scold them if I found them having a drink in the bar. I was scared to death hearing that. Is this what relatives thought of me? Come on, I'm a much better sport.

Eventually, the conversation drifted on about my drinking habits. They were surprised to hear me say that I only drink beer. I ordered Tandoori, naan and paneer etc. We talked a lot. They drank Whisky. They bought me beer.

Just as we were finishing, they requested not to speak about this dinner to the patient himself. They told me that the patient doesn't like them drinking. Soon after that, they added that the patient who has fractures of arms and legs fell down from a scaffolding after taking drinks.

What a coincidence!

Had a nice time. They even paid for the whole dinner! I'm lucky!

Rainy sunday

Although I slept till late, my Sunday was ruined because of my senior's thesis work with Cadaveric surgery. It was pouring as well. Nice time to write songs... Not too much work actually. But still day is ruined.

Apart from that, I called Xander to find what was up with him. He has malaria. He sounded disappointed with me as I didn't go with him to the hospital. But what can I say. I so badly wanted to go to I rock and chill out for a break from the hospital routines.

After the I Rock mishap

I was at South Mumbai, the best place in Mumbai. I wandered throught he streets. I picked up a copy of the Times of India + Mumbai Mirror. Then I went in to Baristas coffee bar. I had a couple of delicious cups of coffee along with a sandwich while going through the newspaper. This reminded me of the life that I so wanted to live. It actually reminded me of Frasier's coffee shop.

Immediately after that, I went across Regal, one of the oldest cinemas in Mumbai. I hoped for some good movie. I wanted to see Iqbal badly. But I was disappointed to know that it was only up for the second show. When I scanned for what was coming up for the evening, I pleasantly surprised to realise that a critically acclaimed, out-of-the-normal movie was on. It was called 'Dansh'. A sort of darkish movie about revolution and the lives of people who live and die in it.

The movie is actually a night's events in Mizoram during the time when Mizoram National Congress had agreed for a truce with the Indian governement. I'm not going to give you the story. I thought that the movie was excellent. Especially the character sketches.

Then I got out and decided to decide what to do next. Just next to the Regal is the 'Sports Bar' which is a pub with pool, bowling etc. It also has loads of TV screens which screen the live sporting events. All this in a wonderfully ambient setting with good quality loud music.

I couldn't believe my luck when I went across it. Pearl Jam's 'Alive' was being played. I decided to go in. I went and sat at the bar table on a high stool and ordered for a Bacardi breezer. I had a most wonderful 10 minutes there listening to awesome music through excellent speakers sipping something which I liked.

I got out of that place with the longing to come back daily for 4 hours. But that wouldn't work out anyway. It is too expensive.

Then I went back to Regal and watched Iqbal. Another great movie. But the hottest part of the movie was Naseeruddin Shah. Whoa baby. What a hot stud. His chest hair was so sumptuous. I have to include him in my list. I'll do that next time.

The screen play is really good with lots of great humour in it. The only dark spot during Iqbal was that I got calls from my seniors in hospital. I decided to turn off the mobile phone until the movie had finished.

After the movie, I called them up only to know that my Sunday was ruined yet again.

I Rock - Screwed again!

This has got to be from a soap. Once again I get permission to go to I Rock. I finish my work at around 5 and call Xander. He says that he's unwell and won't be able to make it anyway since he has work to do. I decide to dress up and drop by Xander's office so that I can give him some pills for his fever.

As I was starting, I get a call from Xander's mobile. It was his colleague who said that he was shivering. I asked him to take Xander to a hospital. I thought that I would head to the Gateway alone cuz I didn't want to miss I rock for anything.

I catch a cab, spend about 100 Rs. for it and reach the venue to find that it was called off. Some police permission trouble. I can't expalin how disappointed I was. I didn't know what to do. I thought that I won't get permission to go when it happens again.

But then I had a great evening! That is in the next post.

A sleepless night

Yesterday night, I had to do a lot of ridiculous stuff to satisfy my seniors that I couldn't sleep. Well, I could have. But had I slept, I wouldn't have gotten up in time. Therefore, I totally didn't sleep but I finished all of my chores and then showered, took breakfast and reached the ward before 6 AM.

Then as usual, my professor didn't turn up on time as he always says he would. At around 7.30 I was asked to do some shitty stuff on the computer for him. I dozed of accidentally doing that. The round occured during that time. Thankfully, no explosions occured. But still I need to figure out a better way to manage time.

Later on in the afternoon, I had so much of trouble trying to stay awake, that I decided that it was not the best way to work.

Another important thing occured today. I called up the local Creative service center or something of that sort. They said that they can repair my Zen Micro. Now I'm having so much of hopes. I'll give it for repairing on Monday when I meet my dentist.

I have to admit that without my music, I am finding it very difficult to live. Especially now when I know that one of my seniors in the unit has an I Pod. I want to try I Pod badly.

Sincerity

Even though I have been posting about how I'm not enjoying my work, I'm becoming more and more 'sincere' in it. That is what everyone is saying. But I don't know what that is. Look, I've always enjoyed talking to patients and being in the wards to help them out. But its the surgery thing which is not there.

Because of my sincerity, I had to sleep over in the ward. Why because if I had gone to my room, I wouldn't get up in time for the next day's OT. This plan of sleeping in ward is great as I'm sure of doing everything properly. Everything was so proper that I was so proud of myself the next day.

And I was able to perform a little surgery. Although I thought I did okay, everyone seemed to think that I did a great job. Now I suspect that they know that I need some moral support and that is why they are saying that I did a great job when in actuality I was just okay.