I'm in a very bad mood. Things have gone from worse to some undefined state which is worser than that. What incited me is that my credit card has become defunct now. I went out to shop for groceries and I couldn't pay for them. And I had to dish out 150 Rs. from my pocket for them. That leaves me with just about 500 Rs. for the entire month.
For those who have wondered why I should be penniless - I was a resident doctor until about a few months back. Now, I don't work at a hospital. I have clear my exams before I can work again. The money promised by the record label hasn't come in yet. I don't know if it will ever. I've been helped by friends, my sister and my parents in the past and I can't hope to ask them for more.
I face internet, mobile and other blackouts starting in a few days. The number of meals that I have in a day have to be cut from 2 to one or none. I just had breakfast today. And I don't know what to do. The only hope is to sell my body out and make some money with sex. Or else, I could opt for a job but that will deprive me of my time of studies.
I'm so pissed at myself that I am not even going to talk about the new song that I recorded today. I think my poverty is going to be a reason to spoil whatever good things that I have left in my life. For those who feel like commenting, please suggest some jobs that I could do. I'm a medical graduate and I don't have any other 'mainstream' qualification.
28 comments:
so sorry to hear about your troubled state. being poor sucks! :(
if the situation doesn't get better, you have to seek help from your family or friends. it's not easy on the pride, but it's the most practical... and i'm sure nobody wants anything happening to you because you don't have the dough.
wishing things will look up for you from this point onwards. *hugs*
@ Sulz: Thank you for those kind words. But after a point it's really hard to swallow pride unless someone offers help.
I am sorry to hear this Kris. Obviously not a healthy situation on many fronts. I have to agree with Sulz though - if you have no healthy options at all. You can always return the money when you find more stability in your life?
I would be really really really really happy if you were to clear your exams. Can't you put everything else on hold? If you don't find a source of income, you may be compelled to leave music anyway, so why not put it on pause at the moment and concentrate on studies? When are these exams going to take place?
@ Unsungpsalm: November. Look, I would have liked to. But with the current state of lack of food and stuff, studying is much harder than a relieving day of songwriting.
I also cannot leave everything and do my studies. The only source of my money now is music.
The competition that I am taking part is also kinda important to me because it's the last year that I can apply. I'm 29 this November and I can't apply for the competition next year.
But, I'm trying my best.
okay so what's your price, how much for a night out ? maybe some dinner, drinks, a movie? name your price Pretty Woman? Do you charge by the hour or the night Julia? I think you should put together a brochure, with some services offered and send them out to interested parties. for instance, does one order a'la carte, or just get the whole banana? let the market set the price I say. Don't be so glum, it's the oldest profession but everybody wins. Do we just meet at the Sea Princess on Juhu and pretend we have important business to discuss?
-inquiring minds want know.
DH
p.s: hope your life changes drastically for the better.
@ Hines: I hope to make about 3000 Rs. for a night out. And I'm not going to market as a whore. Just having sex with Sugar Daddies.
Sea Princess is a good option.
Yeah, it never will honey!
-sex for 3000? that's cheap, girl you got to raise your rates! can't give it away.
-dh
What do you think I should charge then?
What interesting comments going on!
And here I thought of suggesting joining a helpline on a parttime basis to help some souls throught he phone...like childline or one for suicide or something...
Don't do what you know I have an issue with.
Borrow from friends...you can always return the money later on.
Vik
It think a smart musical piece of ass is worth at least three times as much. -dh
since you're on your way to being a doctor ( hopefully ) your sperm alone is worth thousands to a lesbian couple -dh
so cheer up at least you have your sperm!
@ Chandni: A nice suggestion. But do you know anyone?
@ Vikster: I will try, although I already have a couple of guys to explore those options with. I'm getting some money from my sister. :)
@ DH: Sperm banks! Yeah, that's a good option!
Kris, are you serious about selling your body for cash? Are you SO degraded and retarded to think in that way? Come on man. You are a musician. You will find a way out. Don't worry.
@ Indiapavan: I was an am serious. I really don't think that it's not such a bad thing to have sex for money. It's not exactly prostitution as well.
Look, when you are in my shoes - when you don't know if you are going to get your next meal - then you might think of something drastic as well.
sounds like you'll take money for sex! great, nothing wrong with that!
i'll make a list of everyone i know over 90, well I may have to to some old folks homes ---AHHm how do you feel about IV tubes, oxygen tanks and colostomy bags? hope your okay with it cause you cut out a huge group
of dudes there with time on their hands and social security checks! ; )
I'm saving my money but I have to wait soooooooooooooooooo long. boo hoo!
-dh
If i were you i would charge as follows
just a fun night out / $5000
a b.j after wards/ 2000
"he" gets to watch you get off / 2000
full on mutual sex / another 5000 depending on how ugly the dude is (10,000 if he's a dog)
just some heavy petting / with a wank 3500
-hope this helps.
dh
Duncan: If you haven't noticed, and I'm serious, don't you think that you have been a little to harsh on older men, and Vinokur in particular with the way you say things.
Thankfully he doesn't read the comments. I just wish you would see some light and understand that you are being naive and ignorant like a conservative homophobic Indian male.
I understand the humor. But it's not well intended.
( the only part of this mail that's important)
oops! sorry.
( just wondering)
-mostly trying to talk you out of hooking, even though i suspect you're just kidding! you're right, a hearty sorry to V, but why would you go online and say you are reduced to possible prostitution to fill an empty belly and are looking for older gents to foot the bill? I figure that meant you were open to some hypothetical kidding.
Are you not hungry, are you not broke, is it just for fun that you say these things, I'm totally confused.
How could anyone let you go hungry, unless your just joking about it, but then that would not be a good thing to joke about.
Regardless, I have no beef with V or older people--( that's why I made sure to set the old folks I was making fun of at over 90 at least 35 years older than I think V is)
sorry again no more rude jokes,
-dh
Hi,
Sorry here to hear your status...but i think there are many other options of earning money...y dont u take up teaching music? (part-time )
You can also cut down on ur cost of living..If use a phone with gprs (most phones have it these days) you can use it to browse net which is very cheaper compared to other service providers but @slower rates but would be sufficient if u use it only for chatting and checking mails.
Dont worry dear this is just another phase in ur life..u will get over it
Regards,
Rajeev..
@ Duncan: I guess everyone is a little confused. I'll have to clarify on the blog itself. About V or any older gent, you are being unfair.
Look, lets not be discriminatory here!
@ Rajeev: I'm trying that option out. Part-time teaching. But it takes some time to work it out and to earn a little more.
Why can't I use GPRS. I and my boyfriend (Vinokur) stay in touch with Skype chat. That's integral for our life!
dude i guess u can do the teaching from ur home..ppl from ur locality who mite b interested in learning..
You can use a gprs enabled phone to connect to net thru ur computer/laptop..i dont see y u cant use skype then?....
Regards,
Rajeev
@ Rajeev: My bandmate Tim is the most respected guitar teacher in Mumbai. He is helping me out with this. I need to plan it out so that I can gain a steady revenue.
GPRS phone can't provide broadband internet access for voice and video. I repeat, we need that to stay as close to each other as we are.
I am so sorry things are so rough on you. The only thing I could think of which is more practical and not music related, you can teach science subjects like Bio and all...you are a Doctor ppl pay for tuitions. Also you can ummmm work as a receptionist somewhere, since you r sort of cute. As for the food, you might have some friends and family, invite yourself over at dinner ( plz dont think this is a joke, I do it too whenever I am out of work)
I pray for things to get better for you. I know its cliched but every night is followed by dawn and its the darkest before light breaks thru...sooo do it and I agree with a previous comment that you have to take your exams and start practicing. You have to make certain sacrifices to achieve your dreams. You of all the ppl shud know that :) gud luk
I meant start practicing as a doctor...i work in computers and I hate IT and I am saving till I can finish writing and publishing my book...sooo there u go. awww i feel awful for u
@ The Free Spirit: Thanks for your comments. I'll try to be positive!
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