- Why I'm not blogging as much as I used to
- Not responding to the half a dozen tags and stuff that I have received over the last two weeks
- Not doing anything for the Avant Garde awards
- Not spell checking and stuff (my little post last time around had three major typos including 'Avant Grade')
- Not chatting with my friends
- I'm getting pissed with everything.
- I'm getting pissed with Vinokur for things like not remembering what I talked to him about and the fact that he is sleepy.
- I'm getting pissed with myself for getting pissed at Vinokur and not being able to concentrate as hard in studies. I'm also pissed at the fact that I'm not able to study in the afternoons. I feel terribly sleepy.
- I'm getting pissed with Noise Market because the song-writing process for the second album is getting tardy and boring. I honestly believe that instead of 'wasting' time sitting together and 'screwing around' with a tune without any structure, we should work on a scaffolding.
I currently feel like I'm a 'bad person'. And although I'm sure that I'm not, I need some reaffirmation. Excepting Vinokur, nobody would ever be kind enough to do that to me. But I can just reaffirm one thing - I love my Vinokur!
15 comments:
With a Record Label that isn't paying you anything, is there any income whatsoever coming in from music, at the moment?
Perhaps you need to speak with your shrink pal?
The fact that you are open to this kind of help and are aware that you are experiencing classic signs of clinical depression is a victory in itself. So many people are in denial. SO now go out there and get the help you need. Dont self medicate or ignore it. You cant "fix it" yourself. You probably need non judgemental professional help to see straight thru this maze.
A Well Wisher in NYC
dude...will you please stop whining and complaining and get on with your work (which is studying to take your tests in november). I can believe that after all the whining and complaining and threats of whoring around for lack of money, which you eventually got from you sister, the first thing you do is record a bloody song.
Grow up and stop being a little princess who demands attention all the time. You are a tiring little brat who needs a little good fashioned spanking and made to get back to some old fashioned work!
Why would you think you are a bad person? I cringe when people say stuff like that about themselves.
Like it's intrinsic or something. Or worse even, like you believe someones else's idea of what their idea of "God" or the essence of humanity entails.
Come on Kris, you ain't bad person. You are wonderful.
And abt Noise Market, don't be so depressed. You know, you guys will rock!! :D
Hopefully, everything will be damn good soon. Just have faith, good sleep and smile. :)
@ Unsungpsalm: Not really.
@ AWWiNYC: Yes. I realize I have to. I will speak to my colleagues and stuff. I just woke up after sleeping for 13 hours. That too in the afternoon at 1.30 pm.
@ Anonymous (Duncan perhaps): I guess you really don't understand what being depressed means and what it makes you do. I'm not kidding. And I'm not doing all this to get sympathy and attention.
@ Handmaiden: It's probably intrinsic. It stems from my childhood when my family always made me feel that I'm a 'bad' person.
@ BloggingKnight: I hope so. But it's getting a lot tougher to live.
i think you need ta take a break.. and you have someone who loves and trusts you, so just take some time off and youll get back too normal
that was not me in the anon comment above-
hey i know mental illness and depression, all my friends are nuts, some certified and other's just
unhappy.
feeling unhappy, boredom, feeling like you can't win, --this cannot be medicated away --meds make it worse.
if life is going great and you find yourself depressed, then you have a problem.
sounds like you have the blues, the cure is new friends, new surroundings, and exercise.
don't take the easy way out and look for a pill, suffer through this malaise, you will be stronger because of it.
-dh
Dude, I get online and check on your blog after a week to find that nothing's changed in your Life! No lottery wins, no lifetime offers from sugar daddy(ies) on the anvil, no contract with Sony/ Universal/ Warner. Gosh, u lead a sorry Life! Well, what the heck - I wish I were gay, but I still ain't. Guess Life doesn't always grant us the easiest path to what we fancy. Just plough on knowing that things will get easier.
In other news - one of the plays I caught this week was the musical "We Will Rock You", a storyline built around some of Queen's most popular numbers. Thought about you and am wondering when (not if) you're gonna come visit.
Any which how why what the matter may be, I still think you're a nice person. Let's make fiendship. ;)
@ Duncan: Blues or no blues, I have been helped by some pills earlier. Maybe I should seek help again. I understand your concern though. (Who was that anonymous anyway? Must have been DelHiBoi)
@ Stray: When did I refuse a friendship? And where do you expect me to come? ;)
*Kris
Well, then it's quite futile to be considering it your "only source of income at the moment", isn't it?
Do you get paid for the gigs?
@ Unsungpsalm: I'm getting very little money. Not enough. Like about 5 grand per month.
I had been weirdly busy...and am just catching up with my blog reading...
Stop! you are a nice person. You have people who love you, like you and consider you a good friend. You have your exams coming up; do well in them...November should look good for you with Vinokur's visit. Have already told you that whatever help you think I can do, you are free to ping/call me. Take care of yourself please!!!!!!
@ MyHeadTrip: Thanks for the offer. It's hard for me right now.
@ MyHeadTrip: Thanks for the offer. It's hard for me right now.
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