Sunday fight

Today morning, I felt like I wanted to do something other than jam. Like watch a movie. Therefore, after getting up really late, I had a lazy breakfast reading the newspaper, bathed leisurely and at around 2 pm I set to to the wards. I took an extensive round thinking ahead for 2 days (of holidays) and as I was finishing up, I got a call from Parry. They were jamming at home.

Even while lying that I was about to call them, I felt happy that I'm going to jam after all. I can't explain the sudden change of emotions.

Everyone was free and in the mood. Therefore, we headed to the Musician's mall with my new bass guitar and Xander's electric guitar. Both needed some minor adjustments (hopefully). We went on a cab and on the way, I, finally feeling happy about the way things had evolved after nearly 1 days of purposeful avoidance of the rest of the band, was happy and gay. I felt like singing songs on the cab. Nobody was in the mood and Xander had a cold. Really, I was left with just myself and with my hoarseness, it was more like croaking/screaming. I had fun. But no one else had really.

At the shop, we were glad to find that my bass was doing very well except for a set of ageing strings. Xander's guitar needed further check-ups. We also ran into a retired professor from my hospital who was introduced to me by the shopkeeper who knew that I was a surgeon working at the hospital.

After that, the main-even unfolded. We jammed for the first time in history as a band with all on their own instruments. The jam was not as good as last time when me Parry and E-boy had gone. But still, E-boy was sounding like heaven on drums.

The shopkeeper needed the shop to be closed by 6 AM. We left both the guitars there for further check-ups tomorrow. After a coffee at Cafe Coffee Day, we set out to meet J., E-boy's former colleague and a possible future-band mate of mine (and E-boy's for that matter). J. owed E-boy some money and was returning it to him.

Then we went to the mulit-cuisine, pork-specialist restaurant called Oasis. There we had wonderful food. We headed back home and on the way we stopped at Xander's office to finish off some urgent work. We took some print outs of tabs and Sumit made us listen to a few inspiring songs from Dave Matthews Band 'So Damn Easy', 'American Baby', 'Dreamgirl' and the acoustic rendition of 'Creep', which, particulary that one, inspired me totally.

In that awesome mood, we headed home. As soon as we reached back, me, E-boy and Parry started jamming. Oh wow, it was sounding great. But Xander was not in a mood. He didn't really sing like he was enjoying it. After a while, even E-boy went and sat with him strumming some songs on the acoustic.

While all this, me and Parry were figuring out riffs from the latest song that we were working on; 'So Cold' by the Breaking Benjamin. Sometime later, E-boy and Xander started fooling around. I was already in an irritable mood after the nipple crushing that I had received from boy E-boy and Xander in the cab ride earlier. Yet, I was controlling my anger, smiling and playing along.

Then I lost my mind completely and threw my four-string bass guitar on to a pile of beer bottles on the floor. I was so pissed that I said that I have had enough and that I was leaving then. Parry calmed me down. Apparently E-boy and Xander were also pissed with my behaviour.

Parry tried talking to them as well. He tried so hard to get us talking that I felt bad for him and I went and started the conversation. We started blaming each other for what had happened. I was unhappy with the fact that I threw my bass guitar to show my rage instead of talking to them/shouting at them. I was starting to feel creepy about how I was becoming like my Dad or my sister, both of whom, I modelled against when growing up.

Arguments got heated. Finally I lost it and started crying. I was feeling very bad about not being able to talk to my set of friends about how I felt. About the lack of freedom and honesty that we had in our relationship. Parry and E-boy tried consoling me and finally I settled down.

We ended up talking till about 6 AM after which, I came back to the hostel and slept.