I had entrusted three persons to check out the prices of guitars in three metros across India. They were my bandmate Xander, my best friend J and my sister and brother in law.
After 4 days, these are the responses that I got.
I don't know how to react. Was I too selfish and unrealistic to expect them to do this for me? Or is it the usual thing : 'I help people out - they don't find time to do returns' thing?
The engagement went fine. I felt good in the role of a responsible friend and a photographer. It was a whole lot different from the last time that I had been in such a role. I didn't even feel uncomfortable just once through the whole two day period.
That must be due to the fact that the company was a whole lot different. Besides Chuck and Ray, the other friends were a jolly good bunch. We enjoyed ourselves thoroughly playing 'Dumb Charades' while travelling in the train.
Since this was the first occasion that I and Ray were travelling together after we came out to each other, we laid a few ground-rules about exchanging thoughts and expressing feelings about other men. Basically, we decided to refrain from commenting about older men, exchanging glances and pointing out hot men during the trip.
It worked well. We didn't break the rules more than twice. Both the times, when we had total privacy.
Apart from that there were two siginficant things that I felt during the trip.
Today evening, I'll be starting from my town to attend Chuck's
engagement. I'm very happy because Ray will be there along with me
through the trip. Chuck and his family are coming as well.
The search for my guitar is still not getting anywhere. That is a
little disappointing.
<
Too many expectations. Too little money. A multitude of options limited to a SINGLE guitar!
That sums up my experience at the Queen yesterday. Besides, I was irritated to the core by S. with whom I had gone.
We checked out three guitar shops. Only one had at branded guitars and that too, a single guitar each from Ibanez and Fender. Fender's Showmaster sucked. Ibanez's starting range guitar GRX-40 was okay. But just okay. It is relatively expensive for the quality. And it is made in China and not Japan (which is the benchmark).
My friend S. managed to irritate me a lot. Here's why
The great thing that happened was that I was able to meet and interact with members from the progressive rock band 'Evergreen'. I even got to see them practice.. in their own practice room! Oh, it was lovely! The drummer was simply awesome! So was the guitarist and the bassist!
Today, I'm setting out on what promises to be another giant step in my life - I'm going to 'The Queen' for buying the musical gear. I hope this changes my life forever!
Ever since I watched Indiana Jones and the Last Crusaders, I have longed to watch the other two movies. Last week's and Lost Ark was not upto the mark. This week's Temple of Doom is even worse. I thought that the storyline was weak and the action scenes shown were too unrealistic.
One good thing though; the movie gave me a good excuse to avoid being dragged into a hopelessly predictable and boring conversation between my parents and my cousin who had gone to visit my sister a couple of days back.
Today, a group of guys from college paid a friend of ours on the day before his wedding. This is the guy for whom we had bought the condom+lube+books set. As we were having snacks and tea, the conversation meandered on to my sexual orientation. My friend had promised to get me a sexy older man for his bachelor's party.
I asked him if the plan still was on. He said yes. But of course he didn't mean it. He went on to explain to the rest of my friend (to whom I was already out) that he didn't believe me first when I told him that I was gay and I liked older men. It was only when he saw my porn collection that he could believe it.
Then he said "I would find it even hard to imagaine. What would you be; ACTIVE or passive? I replied with utmost ease "Passive, of course!". His jaw virtually hit the table. Same for the rest of the gange except Ray and Chuck.
All this happened without us realizing that a relative of his was taking video of us talking.
A couple of minutes back, he came back and asked my friend if he wanted to keep the footage for the wedding CD. And then he replayed on the cam. We could clearly hear our voices. He said yes!
I feel proud about this achievement. Am I not the best?
Today was a great day. A good day at the hospital except for a
comment or two from Chuck which sunk my spirits. He was asking me if I
could get our friend a gift on his wedding. He said that I've been an
unreliable person in the last few weeks and therefore, needed double
confirmation that I would do the purchase. He repeated it.
I was surprised at this apparent lack of trust-worthiness that my
friend found in me. Since it came from Chuck I felt bad. In fact I
told him immediately that just like two days back when he had brought
a smile back to my face, he'd put me down. I felt even worse when he
said that that is how he felt every morning when I wouldn't wake up to
join him for jogging.
A couple of hours later, I was walking to the parking lot to my
scooter thinking what had suddenly gone wrong in my life. I was low in
self-esteem and that is exactly why I felt bad when someone questioned
my integrity.
When I reached there, I saw Chuck standing there talking to someone
on the mobile phone. He waved at me as soon as he saw me. I walked up
to him undecided on what to say. It was easy to make out that it was
his fiance at the other end. In between, he asked me if I would join
him for lunch. I said yes.
I gave him a lift on my scooter and it was not until that we had
found a table that he hung up on the phone. Immediately he apologized
me for what had happened in the morning. I apologized for behaving the
way I was during the last few weeks. He offered me a lunch to make it
up at a restaruant of my choice. I said that was unnecessary.
When we finished lunch I felt at ease with my life.
Then we went for shopping for the gift. It took a lot of time to
finally get what we wanted; a Kama Sutra honeymoon pack. It was a
wonderful time even though we couldn't find one. Whenever we walked up
to a store to ask for condoms, the shopkeepers would seem stunned and
always tried to be evasive. Instead, we went to a big medical store in
the city, got a sample of all the varities of condoms available and a
lubricant jelly. We got it packed in a big Kama Sutra condom box. Then
we went shopping in a book store. We bought a couple of cheap versions
of the book 'Kama Sutra' and another book on the Arabic Technique of
Sex called 'The Perfumed Garden'.
Since Chuck was on duty, I left him at the hospital and went to
Ray's room. We spent some time going through the sex manuals and found
a lot of interesting stuff regarding oral sex and it's practice in
ancient India. According to the books, oral sex was practiced
extensively by Hindus and sodomy was introduced by the Muslims.
Then, I went to a colleague room in the hostel to try my hand at
troubleshooting a computer which was acting up. I tried my level best
to re-install Windows 98. But a hardware problem kept me at bay.
After that, Ray wanted me to take a look at the common 'puter at
the hostel. It was getting stuck after it got booted. It didn't take
me much time to note that it was due to some virus/worm as the
computer was laden with spyware and junk downloads and didn't have a
firewall or an updated antivirus software.
I removed most of the crap and got the system back to booting
properly. But couldn't finish the job as the network adapter was not
working which made it impossible for me to access the internet so as
to get an updated version of antivirus software.
After that, I and Ray decided to go out to have dinner. We went to
our favorite vegetarian restaurant. Had a delicious meal. Then hung
out at public park watching out for silverfoxes. Then we went for a
movie. We had been indecisive about the movie after our last
experience. We finally decided on a hindi flick called 'Naach'.
Thankfully, our decision was spot on! The movie was excellent. It
is much different from the average Bollywood sizzler and is probably
the best Hindi movie I have watched this year.
I'm finding myself bluesy for the last two days. I don't have any particular reason for being so. Generally, I'm not satisfying myself with what I'm getting out of my life.
I don't usually feel down. And it is easy for someone to cheer me up. But that was not the case for the last two days. Yesterday, it took a good effort on Ray's side to bring me back to normalcy.
Today, I was feeling down in the afternoon. I took a nap and woke up realizing that I felt disgusting. I had a bad headache as well. Chuck tried to cheer me up. At first, it didn't work.
I had to meet him again later on in the evening. This was after I had finalized my plan to make my guitar purchase next week. I told Chuck that I'm getting a new pair for jeans.
He asked me 'Who's giving you this? And in return for?' with a funny look in his eyes. I laughed and felt good instantaneously. When I asked him what he had meant, he said that he thought I had got the jeans as a reward for my services to an older man. He guessed that I would rip the jeans of a hot older man and give him a nice blow job. In the end, the older man would give me the jeans as a reward for the fine job while patting my back saying 'Well done my boy/son!'
Then I had to meet May to give her a book. She said that I'm looking more gay! Well, because of me wearing tight pants which clung on to my thighs revealing my thin waistline.
Now I feel really happy!
I've noticed that I've not been commenting about the movies that I watch. I think that it is bad. It is one area where I can blabber about a lot.
I saw three and a half movie in the last 4 days.
The first one was 'Indiana Jones : Raiders of the Lost Ark'. I wanted to watch it for three reasons 1)Sean Connery as Indiana Jones' father 2) I loved the Lost Crusader movie and therefore, I wanted to watch the other two 3) Sean Connery as Indiana Jones' father. The story was fine. But the action was a bit too much. Perhaps the best part of the movie was the first 10 minutes which showed Mr. Ford taking part in another adventure. Halfway through the movie, I realized that I had seen it before. To sum it up, it was just okay. And there was no Sean Connery in it.
Chuck recently bought a nice DVD player. I went to help him get it up and working. He rented Harry Potter and the socerer's stone. I watched with him the first hour of the movie. It was by far the best movie of the 3 and a half. I loved the charming English setting and the wonderful accent.
Then, I watched a local mallu movie. It had a strange story. It was about a young engineer who had a heart made of gold. He had a crush on his uncle's daughter who then got married to someone else. In his journey across India, he does a lot of touchy stuff. Finally, after he gets engaged with a writer, he commits suicide. Doesn't make sense uh? Well it needn't. Because it is strange in a dumb way. The only thing that was worth watching was the juxtaposition of flashbacks and present time stories one beside the other.
The fourt one was the worst. It is actually a disaster called "Veer-Zara". I am going to pin point a lot of facts which need to be addressed by someone.
I hope I will get to watch better movies on the big screen in the coming days.
Finally, I've started on Alan Hollinghurst's 'A Line of Beauty'. The first fifty pages simply gave me thrills of joy. He is simply marvellous.
On a side note, I have not completed 'The Lord of the Rings' or '1984' or 'Vernon God Little'. Therefore, this becomes the fourth book that I'm currently reading.
Yesterday, I received a mail about a controversial photograph of Dick Cheney which appeared in a periodical in the US. The photo was taken on his campaign trail and it gave away some of his assets! The second I read the mail, I wanted to see the photo. Thankfully, I got the photo (a very unclear version) as another mail. You can see it here!
Isn't it impressive? I mean, I would love to have someone who is so blessed as my man-friend!
I've had a good and a bad day. I've finally made my decisions to
buy what and when. My parents are happy to let me do that. But at the
same time, I felt bad knowing that a pro band finds it hard to make
their presence felt.
I felt wonderful listening to a few minutes of a carnatic classical
music concert while I went to pick my father up. It was sounding so
very good. But I was feeling the kind of sadness in his tone when he
introduced me to his friends there. He still wants me to be doing
classical music. He still wants me to be more like him.
I am aware that the divide between me and my parents is widening.
In fact, I'm writing a song about it.
I and Mr. Lion had planned to engage in a 'discussion' today. We started planning a month back after I learned that my parents were going on tour for a couple of days.
But, they changed their plans! In the last minute - on the morning of the tour. Well, because of a 'hartal' or generalized strike which paralyzes the life in these parts of the world.
I'm so sad. And disppointed. I was so looking forward to this.
I will consider myself to be a gifted musician. I mean I have some talent. I am blessed with a good ear and I work hard to develop my musical skills. The music talent in my paternal lineage might have also contributed significantly.
I recently found out that my acute sense of hearing, the ability to pick up slight sounds and pin-point the directions of their origin resulted from being with my parents a lot. Want to know why? This is going to be gross. Therefore, those who have a lot of 'quality' time with your parents shouldn't read this. So here goes...
Did I ever tell you that my parents fart a lot? Oh brother, they do! They fart in the most awkward situations. And in a variety of different ways. And they seemed to be the least bothered about it.
I was watching the India Pakistan cricket match. My parents were home for only 3 hours of the match; they had to go a musical concert in between. I was reading a book as well. So most of the time, I wasn't looking anywhere other than the book. And in that period I counted 14 farts. I didn't need to look anywhere to identify the source... ie. father or mother and how far they were away. I could simply listen to the sound and pinpoint the location.
Isn't it disgusting? I wish I lived with someone who wouldn't fart so much.
I felt odd. I felt like I wasn't doing anything meaningful. I wanted to come home and do something about not doing anything. My plans went right up my imaginary vagina. There was this power surge which destroyed a couple of a light bulps, burnt a few cm of coil in one of the celing fans and destroyed a fluorescent lamp choke.
There are two questions here. Why do physical phenomena not under our control hit us when we are at our most vulnerable selves? And why do I hate the vagina?
The last three days have been hectic. I had attended a workshop on
Research Methodology. It was simply excellent. I have big ambitions in
my professional career. I hope to bring out a lot of scientific
research papers in the future.
To tell you the truth I want to start doing it right now. I want to
show the rest of the medical fraternity here that it is important to
conduct scientific research and contribute to the knowledge bank which
they have used.
Right at the end of the workshop one of the chair persons announced
that they are running short of manpower to analyse data that they had
collected over the past few years. Someone who was interested enough
to do voluntary work will be gladly accepted and appreciated. As a
return, the volunteer would gain a lot of experience and at times get
their name published with the paper.
Need I say more? I enrolled.
Now I have these things to do.
I still remember the time when I used to look forward to Diwali. We used to make the list of all the crackers and fireworks and used to order them via my father's office. And we used to spend a lot of time setting them on fire.
And now? I hate even the idea of crackers. It is so absurd. It irritates me to the most. It scares my dog (and every other dog on the surface of earth) to nuts.
I even remember arguing with a hot older man in our neighborhood a few years back about this. His wife, who at that time was recovering at home from a heart attack, needed some quiet rest-time. Our group of friends were setting mini explosives late in the night. This guy got out and shouted at us.
At that time, I thought that he was being unreasonable. Now, I can understand who was unreasonable. I can understand who was stupid, stupid enough to not realize that it was an opportunity to gain a few points with this hot guy!
As I sifted through the stories in the newspaper this morning, I was particularly drawn to the articles related to the status of Yasser Arafat. According to a leading daily, there were conflicting reports about his condition. The Paris hospital authorities are quoted as saying that Arafat had died. The Palestinian authorities said that Mr. Arafat was certainly alive but seriously ill.
Being the pervert that I am, my thoughts drifted to the picture that I had posted a couple of weeks back; the one with Arafat and his body guards. If you remember, I had picked that up because it outlined Mr. Arafat's package. Then I remembered something else. When I had shown Ray the same image, he said what interested him even further (than Arafat's package) was a couple of security aides in the picture.
I wished that I could take one of those security aides and hug him and kiss him. I was getting lot in my dream when I heard my mother announce that my morning coffee was ready. I started sipping the coffee and resumed reading the newspaper.
Then came something astounding! I'll quote a particular line from the newspaper.
Saddened by the news of the departure of their leader, Arafat's security guards were seen hugging and kissing each other in front of the hospital in Paris.
!!!
!!!
!!!
I couldn't believe my eyes. This was so gay! I felt happy about the fact such totally gay stuff were being printed out in newspapers in India.
Then, I switched the computer on and searched Google for similar articles. See what I found.
For several years there have been suggestions that Arafat was bisexual. Ion Pacepa, who was deputy chief of Romanian foreign intelligence under the Ceaucescu regime and who defected to the West in 1978, says in his memoirs that the Romania government bugged Arafat and had recordings of the Arab leader in orgies with his body guards.
If I haven't told you yet, Scott Weiland is one of my favorite(st) singers. I love the Stone Temple Pilots (STP). Almost everything they have done yet.
About a few weeks back I noticed a song on the Alternative Rock station on my satellite radio which sounded so much like one made my STP. I didn't hear the DJ mention anything about STP. I thought it might be a band very good at mimicking Weiland's vocals.
About a couple of weeks back I listened to yet another song which sounded very much like Weiland was singing in it. But the guitars and the melody of the song sounded like something else. I was thinking that this was some wannabe STP band trying their best.
A couple of days back, I couldn't resist my urge to find out which this band was. I was listening to the second song mentioned above and didn't know it's name. Thanks to Google, which needs just a random line from a song's lyric to search and find out a 1000 pages about a band, I found the band out. It was termed Velvet Revolver.
Okay, so what? I went to their website. I personally thought the site was a lot of bullshit. More showbiz than actual content. I lost interest in the band immediately and was about to click the X button on the right top corner of the window when I saw 'Weiland' on the site somewhere. I almost fell out of my chair!
Somehow I managed to climb back and resumed reading. The line on top of a particular page read - Lead Vocals - Scott Weiland. That was enough for a surprise. Scott Weiland was performing in another band. That is why it was sounding different.
Then I was I almost convulsed when I saw another name - Lead Guitar - Slash!
Yes, Weiland had split off from the STP. After Axl Rose's departure from G 'n R, the band members had caught the priceless prize scalp in Weiland! And the team were already out with a record!
I'm overwhelmed with surprise and bitter disappointment. I SO want STP to make new material. But on the bright side, Weiland is not being wasted in a rehab center. Even if it is with a boring metal band as G 'n R.
I'm a little worried because I'm not able to make a move on my
guitar purchase. S.' friend couldn't be contacted as he's on tour.
Good for him, but not for me. But I'm prepared to wait.
I'm into some music theory now. I'm learning Scales and Modes. Tell
you what, the modes are really tough. I'm finding it difficult to
memorize even the names. Forget the actual scale modes.
Isaac Asimov is probably my favorite writer. I have read most of
his work and I love the book 'I, Robot'. But the movie is totally
disappointing. The story lacks substance except for a good concept
about Robots taking seige over mankind in order to protect them from
the harm being caused by themselves.
Here's the continuation the story of my relationship with Xander. Read Part 1 here.
About a week later, Xander came visited me at home. I could clearly make out the change within him. Now he was more interested in Grunge and Alternative Rock and he was much better at playing the guitar. He said he wanted to learn more guitaring from me. I taught him the basics of chords and guitar theory. He seemed to pick it up very easily. In a week's time, he was playing stuff like Creed and Godsmack.
We also tried jamming and recording some songs. I still remember one splendid cover version of 'My Sacrifice' by Creed that we did. It sounded so professional. After listening to it, we couldn't believe ourselves. That is about the time that we seriously started thinking about making a band.
About this time, I was almost done with my Internship. There was a convocation ceremony and I really wanted to do a show at college. The line up I had planned was like this. Xander on vocals, S. on the drums, Ross (if I haven't introduced him yet, he my 'guru' in guitaring) on the guitars and myself on the bass.
I and Xander did our practice very well. The other two promised to make it at the show. But in the last minute, S. had to withdraw. But we still managed to do an acoustic set of four songs. Xander was just astounding! Everyone at the venue was awestruck by his voice! Even my Mom and Dad, who were not at all interested in Rock music, were impressed!
After this show, Xander started practicing even harder. I was getting busy with my preps for the pre-residency exams. About three months later, Xander rang me up and invited me for something huge - a recording session for an album! I was thrilled but at the same time unsure if I could get enough free time as my studies were much more important at that time. I was scared to explain this to Xander.
I went for a couple of practice sessions but about three days from the actual recording, I called Xander up and told him that I wouldn't be able to make it. He said it was okay but obviously he was very disappointed. In fact he was totally in rage!
About a month later, Xander called me and asked me if I wanted a copy of the record. (The record had 4 originals and 5 covers). I said yes. Finally he brought me a copy of the record. I loved one of the originals. It was only one week later that I realized that there was a song in the record with plenty of hatred against a doc who turned his back on a friend. I'd realized my mistake and didn't make it an issue.
I'll continue it later!
Usually, I don't wish for anything specific on my birthdays. In fact, I don't even expect someone to give me a present. Let's see. Last birthday a close friend of mine gave me two packs of Staedtler pencils which I loooooooved. Apart from that, I can't remember any special birthday gift in the past few years.
But this year it is different. I wanted someone to give me a big present - A Fender Stratocaster electric guitar.
Forget that. It is almost 8.30 pm in India and there are no signs that someone is going to give me anything as a present.
That is why I'm turning to other avenues (read Internet). Would someone give me a belated birthday present? Preferably the beauty right along side this!
Coming to think of it, if someone gave me a Strat as a present I wouldn't have to worry too much about the other gear that I'm going to buy. It would be such a bliss. Yes, it would be.
If this doesn't work out, I will have to get converted to Christianity and wait for December-end. I could then hope for a hot silverfox in Santa to give me a Fender Strat and much much more on the night of Christmas!
Confirmation of an earlier news story. I'm turning gay-er!
Today, I turn into a 25 year old man. I am not planning to celebrate it. That is because I'm still undecided on what music gear I'm getting before not too long. I still haven't heard from S. about his friend's opinion.
Yesterday, I went to talk to May about a possible (arranged) proposal. The 'boy' is a resident in the hospital. I don't know him too well. But I had a feeling that he wouldn't be a good match for May. When I talked to her about this, I was very relieved to find her not interested. That really saved me a lot of trouble.
Recently, I decided not to indulge in too much of silly-movie-watching. Ever since I told Ray this, he purposefully avoids me while going for the movies which he considers as not interesting enough. This week, he has done this thrice. 66.67% times, he has managed to have some 'cruising' action.
About a couple of weeks back, when I slumped on the couch in the living room after a day of heavy work at the hospital, my folks told me that S. had come home earlier and was using the computer. They asked me if I knew about it. I said that I didn't. I was wondering why they were making a fuss out of it?
When I finally turned on my computer, I was astonished and angry to find that S. was browsing straight-porn. He even had a folder where he saves photos of nude models etc. I was really going to have to talk to him about this.
Last week, after another busy day at the hospital, I was watching a movie on TV. S. came home and was talking to me and all I wanted was to talk to him about the porn issue. I have a problem when I'm in a mood like that. My tend to be sharp, to-the-point.
I took him by surprise when I said that I had found that he was checking out straight-porn on my 'puter. He couldn't explain it first. But I didn't let him explain at first. I said that I didn't expect him to do that. Then came the wickedest reason from him - He said that he was doing some 'research' and needed photos of nude models!
I was speechless for sometime. Anyway, I was more interested in watching the movie than talking to my friend about straight-porn. He went home.
This week, once again he spent a lot of time at the computer when I was away. And to my disbelief, he was again at it. This time I think I've made my point clear that I didn't want him to repeat this again.
When I think about it, I think my reasoning is fine.
Does anybody else have a similar problem?
When it comes to stuff such as an electric guitar, my friend S. is a better bet than me. He has had a few years of jamming with pros in the city where he studied. He even knows to play it better than me. That is important when you consider that he's just starting out on guitar.
When I talked to S. about my plans to buy new gear, he suggested that I should buy it with the help of a pro who he knows. He also suggested me to buy a Fender Strat second-hand. The more I read about it, I want to buy it.
The plan now is that S. will ask his guitarist friend to find some time to check out a few guitars for me. I'll go to there and make the purchase.
But, there is a problem. I have a good relationship with the music-shop guy here. I don't want to disappoint him because he already gives me a lot of freedom. I think I'll talk about this development with him and try to make him understand.
I had to spend the night yesterday at the hospital. I covered for someone who I hate very much. But there wasn't much work. Ray was taking duty as well. We spent a lot of time talking and exchanging our views on hot bystanders at the ER.
During my free time, I searched for help online for making guitar purchases. I enrolled into some discussion forums as well. I felt the desire for buying a Fender Showmaster increase!
I'm tired now. I'll continue tomorrow.
The case presentation went well. I didn't exceed my own expectations but I got good reviews from all of my colleagues.
I went to check out electric guitars avaialble at the local music shop. I tried a Behringer V-Tone guitar. I was not too happy with it. I discussed other options. I might need to buy a Fender guitar. But that is way too expensive.
I am now in good terms with the guy at the shop. I've already made him agree to let myself try out the Guitar Processors at home and then buy!
Tomorrow morning, I'm going to present a case in front of the
Department. It is my first big presentation after starting
pseudo-residency! Therefore, I can't continue with the Xander story
today.
I'll continue the evolution of my relationship with Xander later. Today I have a bombshell to drop!
But to get you to understand the reasons behind the bombshell, you need to know that Xander and I have decided towards making our dreams real; make a band and write songs. The decision took place late yesterday evening.
I happened to get an opportunity to break this news to my parents. To my utter surprise, I found them to be supportive. They said that I should get the gear that I need and work on my music for the time being. Well, it there was a reason as well. My father, who is an astrologer, predicts that I'm going to be succesful in my musical career than in medicine.
Since this turning-point, I've been thinking about putting in more time to music. This means that I can't spend so much time at the hospital. Therefore I need to quit or work as a regular 'voluntary' trainee does; take no duties and hang around as per my wishes.
I thought I should ask my chief if I can do that. I was astonished to hear another positive response. I'm thrilled. Now, I can work on my music while keeping myself in touch with the hospital work.
I've already visited to the local music shop to enquire about the prices of electric guitars, amps and FX units. I'm going to check some of these apparel out later on in the week.
One thing that I'm pretty sure about - This is going to be one big turning point in my life!
And I'll continue with Xander tomorrow...
