Aug 26, 2011

Oh, well

This is what I ended my last post with. It very well sums up the situation vis-à-vis my parents visiting me this winter. Yesterday, after considering everything, I wrote an e-mail to my Mom explaining everything – warning her about potential incompatibilities, arguments, limitation of my apartment, etc.

Yesterday evening, I chatted with her regarding the possible dates. She said that my cousin might probably get married around that time – nothing is confirmed now – and they might have to plan around that wedding. I said okay.

This morning, she repeated the same thing and said that she’s not sure about visiting. I thought aloud that it might be a good idea after all as it would relieve me off the pressure of hosting them.

She said: “Then, we won’t visit you.”

I said: “Thanks Amma.”

So much for the effort. :(


Anonymous said...

why is your relationship tense with your family, is the primary reason you being gay or you leaving medical profession?

Kris Bass said...

Neither. Just the generational and social divide.

Anonymous said...

are relationships tense between adult children and their parents in india because of generational and social divide?

Kris Bass said...

Well, they could be if the children or the parents are so separated from each other vis-a-vis generational and social divide.

For example, I was talking with my Mom yesterday about my opinion on my adult cousins living with their Mom and Dad. I felt that they should be moving out and living by themselves. My Mom thought that my thoughts and concepts were American, and hence, alien.

Anonymous said...

The thought of living by yourself independently is in fact very american. In Indian middle class families it is common that adult children live with their parents even after marriage, it has both advantages and disadvantages. Whether someone wants to live by themselves or with the parents is their own personal decision. So unless your cousins are asking you to move with your parents you shouldnt suggest whether they need to live separately.

Kris Bass said...

I wouldn't call it American. It's very western (European as well). Even better term would be modern.

I voiced my opinion about what I felt my cousin brothers should do. That doesn't mean that they should do that.

Having said all this, I talked to my cousin brother a while back. I asked him about arranged marriages and other social 'necessities' of living in middle class India. He said he would like to find a woman by himself. I presume that he would want to live by himself with this woman as well.