Tonight, I was at the Blue Frog for the launch of the debut album of Dischordian "Feni Farm Riot." Before I went in, I took my pills. Then I had a couple of shot of feni. Then, it struck me. The social phobia that is.
There were a lot of friends and bandmates in the crowd and all of a sudden, I didn't want to be with them. I escaped to a corner in the venue and I couldn't do anything but stare into my Twitter timeline and scroll through the various tweets.
Halfway through the gig, the social phobia was overwhelming. I was wondering how I would say bye to all these people individually. I decided to take off before the gig ended after sending SMSes to all my friends saying that I had an early day at work.
On the way out, I ran into a friend/bandmate who himself suffers from depression. I just said a "hi" and a "bye" in quick succession. Later, in an SMS, I told him that I had an acute attack of social phobia. He replied "It's okay. Take care."
I hope the entire world is as understanding.
1 comment:
You know what?! I have social-phobia too and I experience it 24X7! I can't explain to my friends why I act so strange to them or leave without saying good bye. And I'm in a profession where I'm expected to communicate and build network. I do not know how will I be able to handle that. Sometimes I feel like everyday I should have a shot of vodka before leaving for work and that could help me prevent from being myself.
By the way, it's vishu on Thursday. So wishing you a happy new year and vishu!
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