Lament

I’m depressed. Chuck is not talking to me. I want to apologize to him in person. But he doesn’t seem to have the time. He appears to be pleasant with everyone else except me. I think that he hates me now.

Maybe I’m envious of his former best-friend; someone who was in his gang of friends from childhood. Chuck hangs out with this guy who I will call ‘Appey’. Appey is working in the UK and has taken leave to attend Chuck’s wedding.

He goes with Chuck for shopping, for running errands, hanging out etc. Chuck seems to have time for all that. But when I ask him if he has time to talk with me, he says no. I feel bad. I feel bad about the fact that I’m being a trouble for someone who I really want to impress instead.

Chuck, who entertains everyone eternally, is like a brick wall to me over the phone. What did I do wrong? More importantly, how to set it back to right.

I’m sure I’m about to over-exert myself to insane levels and in that process feel further bad.