I notice some perceptible changes within me after restarting working in the hospital after 2 years. I don't feel as tired as I used to. I'm eating better. And I'm able to handle sleep-deprivation even better. Especially when being at the hospital. Yesterday, I slept for hardly for 2 hours and got up immediately without feeling groggy when a fresh patient arrived at the ER. This is good. Somehow I feel that I've become stronger. I hope this is not a delusion.
I came home feeling happy about this. But my Mom, as ever, destroyed me by saying mean things about me. I hope this vicious cycle of arguments between me and her would stop some day. But each and every time my mother says something as mean as 'You are not worth the effort spent in bringing up.' OR 'You are not mature for a 25 year old.' OR 'You are the worst son a mother could have.', I feel like separating myself from her forever. That is one reason why I think I'm not going to come back home after going to start doing residency next year.
But, even with such a disappointment of being smitten courtesy my own mother, I'm doing something positive. I'm going to work with my friend S (the drummer) on some new songs. I hope things go well.
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