Luncheon with a weirdo

Yesterday was very depressing; so depressing that I didn't feel posting despite the fact that I had so many topics to write about. For two days, I was stuck to my CSS layout making no progress. Everything I had tried ended in a total mess and I thought I needed to drop this idea about re-doing the website. Thankfully, today was a better day. I think I've gained some ground; something which I hope to confirm tomorrow. I'm feeling better. And that is why I'm posting.

The day before, I was lunch with Ray and my name-alike friend (who I'll refer to as Unni from hereon). Unni, by default, is very weird. He is hard to make sense of because of his fast articulation. He also tends to do many things that are unacceptable in social etiquette. We pretend to ignore his shortcomings and attribute them to his rather traumatic childhood. But this time he was even weirder.

Imagine having five separate conversations with friends going on at the same time. That is difficult enough. But what if it was with the same person? That would be unimaginably complicated. That is what happened.

Picture this. Us three sitting at a restaurant having ordered 'thali meals' for each of us. It's a busy hour and we are waiting for the food to arrive.

Unni says, "Busy day at work. I'm tired and I'm very hungry." Looking at Ray he adds, "You ass, what about tomorrow's presentation?"

Ray says, "I have to go to the library to read a few journals in the afternoon. Care to give me some company?"

"Sorry," says Unni, "I still have a couple of patients to see. What is going on these days at the specialty postings anyway? Dude, I need to start reading. How is your Cardiology going?"

Ray says, "Things are not all well. I'm getting to learn things the hard way. Chief isn't happy with me at all. I totally messed up the findings of a patient. Got the timing of the heart sounds…"

Unni cuts in, "Tell me all about Cardiology auscultation and percussion. Start from the basics. Dude, I need to learn. Shit, what's with the food? It's been 20 minutes since we arrived. What are these SOBs thinking? You know, these Nephrologists and Cardiologists… they are messing the whole system. The side effects of the drugs which Cardiologists prescribe are the reason why the Nephrologist are getting their patients. You know what, you should never take up a specialization. Stick to to being a physician. A physician is the best way to go!"

At this point I entered the conversation and voiced my opinion about specialists. The argument seemed to go on well until Unni suddenly interrupted me by asking Ray, "What happened at the party yesterday. You were totally stoned. Saying a lot of bullshit. What if she had heard what you said?" While he is saying this, he pokes in his ear with the ear pieces of his spectacles. Ray shudders.

When Ray tries to answer him, Unni carries on with his concepts about specialists. At one point, when the discussion was hovering around Cardiologists, I interrupted saying, "Hey, you promised you would give me my stethoscope back a month back. Am I getting it back?" A smile came over Unni's face and he said "Kris, you are so nice. Don't you believe me when I say that I'll give it back to you?"

I say, "Yeah right. You said sometime back that you'll give it back to me in 2 days. Why, why should I believe in what you say?" He says, "I'll give it back in 2 weeks. Sure. Please..." Suddenly, he turns to Raghu and adds, "You ass, you should have not gotten that drunk yesterday. You know I drank almost as much as you but was totally under control. Never lost it. What happened to the damned waiters? Bud, we should walk out of this crappy restaurant if the food doesn't get served in under five minutes from now." And he starts counting down looking at his watch.

This is how the conversation carried on for another 10 minutes until the food arrived. While we were eating, Unni couldn't contribute too much because he was preoccupied with the fast-disappearing contents of his plate. I was contemplating saving money to buy another Littmann stethoscope. And when we left the restaurant, I was wondering if I would live to see the day when I could have a sane conversation with Unni.