Apr 27, 2009

The most expensive gym in India

Yesterday, as I lay on my bed lazily watching the action from IPL-2, I realized that I there is no way that I can contort my body to make me look thin. The flab, amorously referred to as the love handles on the sides, was too obvious. I must have put about an inch of fat around my waist in the last year or so. My jeans have become uncomfortably tight.

It's ageing, malnutrition and a lack of exercize. I hate it. I don't want to look like my Dadr my uncles. All seem to have had 'A+'s in a corpulence course or something. I don't want that. Besides, I am tall and lanky. I'd look absurd with a tummy.

Despite my finances, I want to somehow get back into shape. As a preliminary step, I googled for nearby gyms. I found a few hits. After all, I was living in an area sprinkled with posh housing colonies. But one of the hits really sparked my interest, hope and curiosity. It was a new gym which had opened recently atop the big shopping mall next to my building.

I looked up its website. It said the largest gym in India with the best facilities and stuff. It had a spa, yoga classes, hair clinics etc. I knew it would be expensive but wanted to make sure I couldn't afford it. After a cusrsory call, I walked into this monstrosity yesterday evening.

A cheery young lady interviewed me and took me around the gigantic gym. During this, she had asked what my estimate was regarding the pricing. I said I can't afford anything above a 1000 Rs per month. I should have known better when she started giggling.

When she showed me the rates I was astounded. 1, 50, 000 Rs per year!! Whoa! There went my pipe dream!

14 comments:

masalai said...

You do look thin -- well, not thin, but slender -- and the love handles are just something that goes with the territory of being a Dravidian, I'm afraid. Assorted Tamil friends over the years have experimented with gym-bunnying and dieting to the point of looking like they have anorexia nervosa but the love handles are not to be banished. Get used to them and learn to love them. The tight waistband is perhaps a somewhat different matter but that is easily remedied without resort to draconian measures.

As for the gym, well, you must know full well that the poor man's gym -- pushups and situps in one's very own bedroom -- are perfectly satisfactory for the purpose of toning up, and those who resort to expensive gyms inevitably, sooner or later, start acquiring wads of muscle hither and thither that clearly don't result from honest work and are, indeed, deeply inimical to classical norms of masculine beauty.

masalai said...

(Are there not, however, if you are bound and determined to go the gym route, much cheaper gyms about? A young and far-from-affluent lawyer friend of mine in Karachi has been gymning since he started law school -- inspired by me, so he tells me, after he had been given to me as a guide and traducteur during assorted visits to his village: he had a master's degree in English, though an apprentice's diploma might have been more accurate, no one else under the age of 70 being fluent -- and he strips off his qameez at a moment's notice to show off his steadily enlarging "pecs." The last photo he sent indicates that he's now even taken to shaving his chest! I forbear to suggest that if he keeps this up he'll be a poster-person for the Nursing Mothers' Association. But if gymning it must be, find a cheap one -- there can't be any qualitative difference between those and the hyper-expensive ones -- but do it in moderation!

masalai said...

Incidentally, is there no YMCA in Bombay?

ruSh.Me said...

Was it Solaris??

I called them to enquire for swimming lessons... Never called them back after knowing that membership is for 1.5lakhs!!

Try swimming..!!

unsungpsalm said...

Oh ouch! That's a tad embarrassing! You should've asked her how much it cost, before telling her what you expect to have to pay...

Kris Bass said...

Masalai: i think I can find a much cheaper one, yes. And I don't think it's a dravidian trait. I think it's just obesity.

Rush.me: it's called True Fitness!

Unsung: it's embarassing for someone who's not used to poverty, not to me! :p

Kris Bass said...

Masalai: i think I can find a much cheaper one, yes. And I don't think it's a dravidian trait. I think it's just obesity.

Rush.me: it's called True Fitness!

Unsung: it's embarassing for someone who's not used to poverty, not to me! :p

unsungpsalm said...

If you get used to poverty, you slip into complacency over attempting to rid yourself of it.

So stop being used to it!

Kris Bass said...

Unsung: perhaps you are right. But it's not easy.

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