Jul 8, 2014

Worry list for today

  • BF’s health
  • The relationship, and how my depression is ruining it
  • About the next meeting with the BF and what will happen
  • About all communications with him, wondering when the next argument/fight will start
  • Wanting a bigger backpack to carry things around, but not wanting to disappoint him by not using the bag he bought me.
  • Because of the bag situation, packing for staying over at his place, what not to miss.
  • Forgetting things in different bags
  • The perennial fear of losing/misplacing things while in transit
  • Running out of money, long term and short term
  • Getting change for 1000 rupee notes, which is what my new bank’s ATM is giving me
  • Not finding the new bank’s ATMs
  • How to start investing/saving
  • How to sort through the company-provided health insurance papers, while realizing that the closest person in my life won’t benefit from it, thanks to Indian law
  • Reading articles “positive thinking” and similar self-help articles and wondering why I can’t do any of what they say
  • Feeling of being unable to finish any task apart from work (e.g., read a book, learn something, watch a movie)
  • About making errors at work and causing client complaints
  • About how soon I’ll leave work and when I’ll reach the place I have to get to
  • About getting late for things (BF’s apartment, appointments, errands)
  • Income tax return filing
  • Wanting to exercise (walk/cycle) but not being unable to
  • Wanting to wake up early and do something productive, but being unable to
  • About how to manage watching live sports and spending time with the BF
  • About medications - how to get them (pharmacy is always out of stock) and when I’ll run out of them
  • About what I’ll eat in my next meal
  • Running errands in general
  • Communication with friends
  • Impending social outings with friends
  • Losing friends because of my antisocial nature
  • About making friends and loved ones worry about me
  • About the vast amount of things to learn but having little time for it
  • Everyday commute in the rains
  • Increased travel expenditure, especially suburban rail passes
  • Grocery shopping - the experience and how to not forget things
(Originally posted on Neverlast)


randall price said...

I sympathize! And people wonder why some of us can't sleep. If only we could install 'off' buttons on our feverishly whirling personal hardrives.

Kris Bass said...

I'm so glad I have friends like you, Randall! :) We are the support system for each other. Thanks to you and so many others. xoxoxo

randall price said...

Don't forget you are not alone in your struggle, kiddo!

The Doc said...

Well aware of it, Randy. :-)