I'm a very proud person today. As I type in write now into my PDA using my bluetooth keyboard, I feel that I've accomplished something that seemed so impossible yet so unnecessarily procrastinated.
Yesterday (Thursday) morning, I reached Thiruvananthapuram and had a wonderful day with my Mom. I helped her with chores and cooking and we had a wonderful conversation, very personal and emotional, about our lives. That seemed like the perfect setting to come out. On the basis of advice of many 'counsellors' I deferred the act until my 'indifferent' father was also at home - he had a busy day with prayers and a carnatic music concert (he's a conservative Hindu guy who doubles up as a priest and a semi-professional mridangam player).
I had talk with Uncle N., the only senior person that I had been out to until then, over the afternoon and he and I decided that I'm going to do this alone and he'll be the back-up if 'things went wrong'. I was disappointed in the evening when my father did leave the home despite me wanting him to stay back.
But, as they say in countless coming out tales, my Mom sort of picked up the fact that I needed to talk to her and she stayed back. I did talk to her and I came out to her. To my surprise, it was so pleasant that I needed to confirm that it was not a dream. She did have some trouble with the 'terms' but she accpted me for what I am. Then, she offered me to talk to my father on that behalf.
But I took it upon myself and I came out to him separately today morning. It was brilliant once more with very little unforgivingness. They both are supportive and are glad that I told them. I'm so happy!
This meant that the dam is finally borken and we can talk. And we did. About everything. About everything in the past. We just set up on a different phase of our lives - one, which seems to be utmost rewarding!
:) Thank you!
34 comments:
I'm very, very happy for you, Kris. So much that I can't even begin to describe it. I have no words.
It's... great... just really great. ^_^
Great dude!
It's God's blessing that you have such wonderful understanding parents.
Okay, be very sure when you answer this question...
When you told your parents about your being gay...
are you sure they were awake? :O
If so, congratulations! You're very fortunate!
I bet your sister will have to be more understanding now :)
Hallelujah. Your Mum, well, that happens. But even your Dad. Is this the opening of a whole new chapter with family? It is wholly wonderful that they responded so positively. In view of your past anxieties about family, who knows what will come next, eh. I have to say that if you were a son of mine I would be proud beyond all capacity to articulate; possibly these things can now come out too.
(Of course having a sister and, more particularly, an uncle, to whom you had previously disclosed these things makes it so much easier. But that doesn't in the slightest minimise the enormous triumph: congratulations again.)
Thank you everyone!
@ firbolt: i'm short of words too!
@ unsung: they were wide awake and blinking!
@ sam: i'm so glad I've such parents too!
@ masalai: thank you dear friend! They haven't yet vocalized their thoughts so poignantly yet.
wow!
now, you drive me to the same...
Glad it is going the best way for you.
You do need to follow up and keep the conversation going. I would hate to think that your parents are noddding for now in a state of some shock and well disguised bewilderment. When you are back in Mumbai (and away from them) when they have a chance to actually digest your coming out to them, they are bound to have doubts, questions, worries. That is when real and very solid communication is needed. I am sure you are laying out the ground work for that right now.
Keep the channels open. For now I am so glad things are going well.
Does this now explain certain enigmas of your past relationship with them, do you think?
Congratulations my friend. I only occasionally find myself having the time to do my blog reading, but today I opened up your blog and read the wonderfully pleasant news of you coming out to your parents and how well it all went. Congratulations - what a beautiful way to start off the new year!
wow!! i guess nature or universe or god or xyz, didnt play spoil sport on the the most important day of your life.. though it has 'tried to' several times over the past many months!!
we are all proud of you kris! and happy4u. all credit goes to you!! your sheer faith in 'what is!'. and i guess you've almost won this game as well..
aa kai onnu nokkatte.. thalavara nannaavan thudangi ennaanu thonnanathu.. ;D
congrats.
god bless!!
sasneham..
Congrata on your M.S. and your coming out. I hope all goes well. It must be so hard for gays in "your" culture.
I got lucky, Americans are a little more accepting. I'm not totally out, but the people I care about know.
I came out to my family years ago. My Mom said she always knew, my Dat took it incredibly well. He still loves me, even though I'm a mess!
Good luck!
@ Pepe: Thank you for the compliments. You may go for it.
@ AKiNYC: Well, I AM planning to keep the communications intact. Thanks for the advice. I'll write back to you in detail.
@ Masalai: Well, you are right on the point there. Yes, many of the mystereis have been cleared.
@ Anonymous: Thank you. Thank you for the words.
@ Dev: I didn't quite understand the malayalam - 'tharavadu'? Can you paraphrase?
@ Bryan: Well, I don't quite believe it either. But it's true.
"thala-vara" - hypothetical line about our life's progress. looks like u never used much malayalam when u lived here as well :)
Dev: I guess you mean 'thala-mura' and not 'thala-vara'?
Wonderful, wonderful oohh soooo wonderful!! this is wonderful news Kriss...Yaay! :D
Childwoman
hey...found u from rashmi's blog...
ur write so well, from the heart.
and though i don't know you,i cant help but admire ur courage in coming out to your parents...God bless u!
do visit my blog, it would be aweesome to get to know you better :o)
Childwoman: thanks for the nicest words! :-)
CoffeeMyPoison: thank you! (I'm positively flustered!) Would love to keep in touch! :-)
Awesome :D
So happy for you Kris. Looks like this year has started with a bang for you and things are looking up. I pray for things to stay up for you. This is awesome simply great!!!
I hope ur parents continue their support and understanding. I cant even get over the fact that it went so smoothly...no typical indian parental filmi guilt trips no drama hehehhe.
The Free Spirit: Thank you! I can't believe it too!
I am so jealous! I'm planning a coming out next month. Let's hope it's as easy as yours!
@ Broom: Go ahead an do it. Here's my advice though. Be totally prepared. Be honest. Be yourself. Connect to your folks before you give them the news. Explain to them. Listen to them. Clear their doubts. It's not just one conversation. It's your entire future from that point onwards that you have to maintain the communication.
amazing!!!! congratulations!
I am sure this is just the begining of many good things to come :)
Well done! You picked your moment and it wasn't as hard as you thought... I'm so happy for you!
@ Desi Femme: thank you!
Couldn't help but comment. CONGRATS.
Toe Knee - thank you!
Kris,
That's great! I'm glad it worked out so well for you. Wish it had gone as well for me when I did it!
Good Job.
The best person to be is always your ownself!
@ Gil: It's fine. I'll figure out how to make a Time Machine! ;)
@ @lankr1ta: It sure is! :)
good my dear,
i am happy for you.ggod bless you.
I visited your blog(s) after speaking to you today and it has made me "learn" so much about you....and understand what makes you, you.
Being an older man of 49, I am constantly amazed at the sheer upfront "energy" of some young people these days; and wish we could have had the same when we were getting to know the world!
As such, whether or not we decide to take things further (and to whichever extent), I sincerely wish you all the best.
congrats da...
Anonymous: thanks!
Teddy: thank you! We'll meet up sometime!
Anonymous: thanks da!
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