Anxious times

Hiding behind the Carrie/Samantha impersona, lies my other-side - the bread-winner, the surgeon, the struggling musician. This side, quite obviously, would be anything but glamorous. But that's probably the reason why it should be highlighted even further on this otherwise frivolous blog. Some of you might even remember I had plans to branch this blog into two streams some time back - one for each of these alter-egos. A few of you suggested that I stick up everything out here - the good, the bad; the glamorous and the ugly. Here I'm enacting those suggestions.

My exam results aren't out yet. They were expected a week back and have been unceremoniously postponed until we-don't-know-when. Actually, the results really don't change anything that I'll undertake in the future. Either way, I will have to start working somewhere and earn. It's just that a positive result will give me a big shot in the arm and boost up my self-esteem and help to rest a part of my life at least for a considerable duration.

Amongst the numerous job offers that I had applied for which combine my writing/editing skills and my medical background, a very few have gone to the interview stages. One of them is even at a stage when I need to say 'yes' and join. Because there are formalities to be completed in the college after the exam results come out, and because a new job doesn't really offer 'leaves' to newbies, I can't join anything unless my exam results are out and these things done and over with.

I'm hoping to convert this phase of uncertainty to try and find more jobs that might be 'better' in what they offer. One of them is to work for a magazine like Rolling Stone which will combine my writing as well as my music background. I'm working with a TOI journalist friend of mine to put together a portfolio which might kindle interest in the editors of such magazines. It's a little tough because I have to work within word-restrictions (which is something unheard of in blog circles).

On top of all this, the tryst with our record label is not reached a phase where the fog is cleared. We are still in the negotiation phase and although there seems to be hope around the corner, it hasn't manifested itself in any phsyical form. It has to work somehow - rather, I have to make it work somehow! Remember, music is what was set higher on the priority scale under love and my medical career. I have already lost more ground in both that I could ever hope to recover. It might sound like desperation - it might very well be actually. But the best thing is not accept it and work at achieving what you set out for. As always, 'denial' is sometimes the best way to face the reality.

3 comments:

masalai said...

I don't see much of a Carrie/Samantha persona at all. (But you might find this amusing interview on the CBC with the actress who plays Samantha interesting: she discusses her real-life romance with the prime minister, among other things:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLquOD8wS70&feature=PlayList&p=AF408B79D6E83688&index=42

As for the professional attainments, by all means go after them hammer and tongs. Your medical qualification could fall into desuetude and you want that to be your choice some way down the track because you have found something you want to do more, not merely a matter of having failed to pursue it adequately when the time was right.

Kris Bass said...

@ Masalai: I undertand the risks. But I have had to take them. As you know friend, my priority in life was love more than carrer until music dislodged love from the top.

Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

You have a Carrie/Samantha persona?

I hope you get the job you want!!

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