The certificate saga

I'm not employed now. Yet, I feel tired and struggle to accomplish the tasks that I set out to achieve. The tasks are simple yet so complex to achieve. A simple task of getting up in the morning, showering and going over the hospital to initiate the process of possessing the certificates for my post-graduation course had to be delayed by a day, daily for a few days. Reasons are to be scoffed at - a) didn't get up early enough b) just felt lazy c) had some other chores to finish d) had other engagements which complicate the itinerary for the day.

To not get up early enough is really lame especially if you have worked in night shifts which require you to not sleep in the part of a 24 hour day when you are supposed to sleep such as being a doctor. During such shifts, there are plenty of instances when tiredness or habit takes you over and you tend to snooze or even sleep wonderfully well. Because of the lurking danger of a threat to wake up on demand and the responsibility to be wakeful enough instantly to perform your duties like someone in their most-alert mode, waking up from such naps is usually easy. And when you do such shifts long enough - I have done such things for over 9 years now - it becomes some sort of a trait of yours - to wake up from sleep at any given moment as you wish to.

I happen to take it to another level. I pride myself to be able to do that. I pride myself to be able to control my wakefulness with my adrenaline, thyroxine (and all the other catabolic hormones which are required bye you to be alert) and my intrinsic drive. I'm a proud person by default. I like to do things well and to be lauded for that. Like most people, I tend to loosen the drive when it's just me who is able to monitor the proceedings and also when I am the only person who would eventually get affected by the outcome of such a thing. In simpler parlance, this is referred to as laziness.

Having critcised myself of being lazy, I would like to take the opportunity to defend myself because I'm egotistic and a hypocrite as well. I don't want to be lazy, I don't want to label as a lazy guy - for heaven's sake, I despise laziness in others. But still, here are the reasons - I spend long hours in the night i) chatting with Vinokur ii) online networking which is primarily fun-oriented iii) doing important stuff like answering e-mail, reading up articles online. On top of that, I have a very non-nutritious diet which basically consists of carbohydrates, milk and eggs devoid of meat, vegetables and other nutrients, without variety, quality, frequency or quantity. The reason for such a diet is obviously shortage of finances and not my laziness to choose to eat bad food.

Add to this the three bands that I play for and all the songs that I need to learn and rehearse and other commitments like meeting interesting people (read dating), attending gigs and live events for fun and for getting more contacts - my days are so packed and I am so tired that a boring chore as to do the formalities to get a certificate, tend to be pushed from the back-burner to the kitchen counter way back behind the big containers of flour.

Yet, I did finish the chore - or most of it today! I had a wonderful time doing it meeting old co-workers from the hospital, most of who were amazed to see me back in the hospital. Apparently they had been fed rumors from my own colleagues and juniors that I had left medicine for good and was chasing the glamorous career of a rock-star. I tried to deny the malice which was instigated in such a suggestion and said that I was just taking a 'break' from medicine. I also happened to go visit two sections of the University of Mumbai, in two corners of the city, which are so different from each other that it's charming to just note the contrasts.