I didn't announce it here on the blog I guess. It was part of my overexpectant nature on the couple of days before the exam. I had taken out my beard and moustache for the exam. While the barber was wiping it off, he was skeptical. It was something whose growth he himself had been a part of. After the beard came out, I suggested to keep the moustache. I studied my face intently for about 3 seconds. Just the moustache (the kind which has almost vertical pattern by the angles of your mouth) looked good. But I thought about why I should risk any facial hair when it may hamper your exam odds? That's how it came off as well. After the entire depilation was over, I looked again at the mirror. Absurd! More adolescent than adult, I thought.
I came back home and hooked up with Vinokur on Skype. He was thrilled. As always, he loved my face without any hair. He explains that it helps to unravel my emotions. With the beard and moustache, the eyes are the only things which sort of divulge my emotions. This way, the clean-faced way, I looked about 5 years younger and much much more better. But still, I wasn't convinced.
The maid said that I looked better with the whole beard/moustache conglomerate. Her daughters, all six of them, indicated that they preferred the earlier me. S., although, suggested that I looked better.
Whatever it was, I HADN'T liked my bare face. I was determined to grow my facial hair back to how it was. Vinokur tried to persuade me from that. I thought, why not. I meant, why not 'not' grow it as that would make Vinokur happy!
Today, I tried this new look in public. Most of the people didn't recognise me. That was a shock. Just 4 months back, I was clean shaven. Now, people can't recognize me without the beard? Strange, ain't it?
In the afternoon, I managed to shift a lot of stuff to the new apartment. Despite me running low on cash, I decided to go for the GB party. I went with a fellow lawyer friend of mine and his handsome friend. At the party, a few more managed to make it evident that I had changed a lot.
I was getting a little bored with all the dancing, trance music and lack of conversation when I noticed this huge man with a black T-shirt which clearly indicated that he loved bears. Hanging out with him was this gorgeous bear, 45ish, who had a clean shaven head, a trimmed beard and a moustache. I thought maybe I could hang out with them. At least they presented as a welcome change from the monotony of rather boyish faces.
I went up to comment on the t-shirt to this 'bear lover'. There was hardly any response from him. It's almost as if he was repelled by my boyish looks. I hated that. I was missing my beard too much. For about an hour more, I hung out there hoping to make any acquaintances with mature, bearded, moustachioed men. No luck whatsoever. It sure seemed like I was a bad looking twink without the beard.
I thought it over. It looked like I was ageing. Maturing would be a much gentler word. The beard and moustache sort of made it evident. Finally, it had also somehow managed to make me accept my own looks. Once they came off, I was this much-older-than-a-lad guy who wanted to look younger. My maturity chopped off almost.
I had to rush home earlier because of boredom and this scary thought. I and Vinokur have spent a couple of hours over this and have agreed, for my own interests, to let me grow back my beard. At least, that should save me from this new cause of depression!
No comments:
Post a Comment