Xander at guitar

 

Yeah, I love photoblogging. That's why I'm starting a series of posts with snaps from my mobile phone. This one was taken about 3 weeks back when we guys were jamming at Xander's place. S took the shot and as you can make out, S' legs are the hemiframe of the photograph. 

The turn around

When things turn around, they do so at such a pace that the spin makes me dizzy. Two or three days before I was showing tendencies regarding my unsolved problems in the hospital with seniors etc. Today, after a good day at the operation theatre, I came to my room early. I got some time to clean my room up. I got myself free at around 9 pm. The Germany - Argentina match was going on then. S and Xander were already jamming in the apartment and wanted me to come and join them.

Because of the rain, I had to delay myself. That's actually the official reason which I would state. The game was going on strong and besides I was pissed at Xander and S. asking me to bring them food. Pissed because I hardly got time to go jam with them. Now they want me to miss the action on the football field and buy them food in the strong rain.

I did all that though. I didn't want to disapoint them. After jamming till late night after both the matches (Argentina lost; that scares me - who's gonna stop Brazil from retaining the championship? But Italy won! Congrats!) I came back to room so as to avoid the risk of getting late/ drenching in rain in the morning time.

Depression encore

Another hopeless day passed by. After being insulted again and again through out the day, I'm feeling very bad about everything. Again the whole 'decision making' thing is up for analysis. But I can't understand why such bad things are happening to me and only me.

Imagine, 2 years ago, the same time of the year. I was being considered as the most sincere and impressive junior in my hospital. Now, I'm just considered like a useless servant.

Why should it happen so? What have I done so drastically different from that time and now to make my life such a misery?

The only thing that is happy today is that Xander came to the hospital for some tests. He's having another bout of Malaria. Today he came with his girl friend G. I was so happy to see him and hear his jokes.

Isn't it really sad to realize that you are feeling happy in seeing a friend who is sick. That shows how bad your general state of affairs is.

Hopeless

I think that my residency would always remain a sad story. After two days of work with little rest, during which I was insulted many a time for the way I work and the way I talk, you would think that the thing can't worsen. Well, they did.

First my registrar asked my colleague to take a round of my ward before he came. That's to show that I'm not worth being trusted. To add fuel to my registrar's fire, I got up late and came late for his round.

Now I'm being relegated to almost servanthood and am denied of operative opportunities. Just have to do menial jobs again.

Why does this happen like that? Why do I always piss of my registrars?

The pleasure of becoming a senior

This is the first time that I'm writing my diary since the addition of juniors into the hospital. I've been honestly trying to help them get to terms with the bloody mess that the hospital runs like. Today, was also the first time that I had some time in the evening to do something like cleaning my own room. I did that and also read some theory about the surgery that I was supposed to perform tomorrow. Such a welcome change this is.

Besides, I copied a train-load of music from S' portable HD. That should whet my growing appetite for listening to music.

Comedy at the OT

There are at times when everyone screams at the junior residents for not keeping the doors of the OT closed or when a couple of relatives of the patients spend that extra minute by the side of the patient when he or she comes out of the operating room after surgery. Of course, this is meant in the best intention of keeping the OT clean. Today, things were so bafflingly contradictory to such practices. Our matron, former head sister of the OT which I am talking about, held a retirement bash/party at the OT. I don't need to detail how many 'outsiders' in plain clothes and shoes mingled and had lunch in the recovery room. Nobody cared. The patient who just had a hip replacement surgery seemed to be in utter dismay.

Busy week

What can I write about a week where so many things have happened. My juniors have arrived. My date is back and I haven't even talked to or met him. My life in the hospital as a surgeon is going horrible. I have come to know that I'm one of the most ill reputed guys in the department. My surgical skills really suck. All this and I don't find time to write about it.

The threesome

Finally it happened. Me, Xander and S met and we jammed. It was wonderful. The recordings prove it. This surely provides so much more of options on the musical front. There was another piece of good news 'The Great' thing also presented it. Apparently, Xander had gotten an offer from a friend in Belgium about reording of an album, music vidoes etc. Whatever it is, the jamming session was incredible. It was provent that the depression at the hospital only be cured by my musical explotis.

Another bad day

Another bad day at the hospital. It seems that such days are getting commoner as the weeks go by. Today, it all started with an avoidable conversation about the lack of sincerity/responsibility of the whole system in the hospital. My registrar who disagreed with me on this point finally turns out to be egotistic. He has must have been hurt by me saying such things. He also complained about the fact that I make tonnes of excuses.

A bit of laxity in my work provided the spark for the firing that I got. I felt bad. I was told to not complain/criticize about others if I don't do my work properly. Lots of hurtful words were used. He also accused me of being talented only in hobbies and not i being intersted in medicine.

At the end of it all, I felt horrible. Because of my registrar himself I had to miss jamming with Xander in the evening. Similarly I couldn't watch the Football match between England an Paraguay. I ended up watching Argentina's match while doing dirty paper work of the ward.

What does 'great' mean?

Today was a cool day at the hospital. But in the evening I felt shitty. Due to envy really. Many a reason to feel shitty. Firstly, I got the info that Chuck had passed his final exam. Ray had sent me a message. I called up Chuck. He picked it up on the third time and said he'll call back. Then I tried Ray. He was in a movie and sounded like he was having sex ie. Cruising. He too hung up.

Then I called S up. He was watching World Cup's opening match and having dinner. He had free time during the weekend and wanted to jam/record. But I was unsure if I could find time. I talked to him for about five minutes explaining the option of going to Xander's apartment and jamming tomorrow if both don't mind each other. He okayed. In between he had told me about the wonderful studio that he was studying at. I couldn't believe my ears when he said that the final project that he's getting is to record his own album with his band in that state of the art studio! Slurp!

Then I rang up Xander. He was watching the Germany match in a packed Cafe in the city. It was so noisy that he was finding it difficult to hear me. I asked him if he minded S. dropping by tomorrow. After shouting on the phone to him thrice, he finally heard me. He said no. And finally when I was about to hang up, he said he had something big to tell me. I asked him if it is good or bad. He didn't listen to the question initially. I was so pissed at my own miserable state and envious of my two bandmates having a jolly good time that I was angry when I asked him the question again. He said 'It's great Doc!'.

I don't know what to feel now. I feel bad about my state. But I want to know if this turn of events on the musical front is going to be significant in my life. I sure hope so.

Electrifying!

Don't get excited yet. My life hasn't just turned around. And I'm still loathing about it. Today morning, everything went to plan in the major OT day. But in the middle the first surgery, things went haywire because of electri shock! The patient who was being first operated felt it first. She screamed a couple of times when she felt it. Then, one of the surgeons who accidentally slipped off his slippers felt it. Soon we all realized that the floor was dissipating electric shock. The reason must have been a water leak which had occurred on the floor above.

This does seem pathetic doesn't it. In one of the biggest hospitals in town, the patients get electrocuted.

Whatever, it meant that the rest of the surgeries got cancelled. That meant more free time in the afternoon. I grabbed a wonderful three hours of sleep while my mobile kept on buzzing in silent mode. I got fired for the same reason later.

But still, the rest gave me a good reason to feel good at the end of the day.

S arrives

Yesterday, my friend S (with whom I had many a relationship swing) finally made his way to Mumbai. He's joining a Audio Engineering course for a year. That means that finally we (me and Xander) have a drummer option. I hope this works out fine. I and Xander have been going through rough times and the relationship between S. and him is also not very good. It can create problems. But it broadens our scope so much more! It sure is exciting.

At the same time, I got a message from May saying that she also has started feeling miserable like me after having started her residency in North India. I don't know what to feel at this moment about this. My misery should end soon. But my best friend's has just started.

Massage again

Judging from what had happened yesterday, today should have been worse. But it wasn't. In fact, despite the business, I got lots of free time. I was able to play guitar and browse in between. Then I went for my routine shave/massage to the barber. I had a nice nap when he was doing it. That indeed is the best thing in terms of pleasure these days. I finished work early as well. And in fact, I was able to come back to room for my night's sleep. That felt good. Wonderful really!

Horrible emergency

This time the emergency was like hell. Everything backfired. Every little thing I was doing was scrutinized and the coincidences, as usual, worked against me. I was shoved out of the surgeon's shoes for the day and was asked to run around for patient's reports and blood. During all this, I was scared about the fact that the seniors would decide against giving me juniors to work under me when they would come. This, if you don't understand, would relieve me of all the stupid clerical and manual work that I have to do these days. If I don't get a junior, then my life will still be fucked for another 5 months odd.

Great day at the apartment

I finished my work early today mainly because there was no senior round in the morning. That meant that I could work in peace.

I also met Dr. T (my shrink + friend) in the morning while she was checking up two of my crazy patients. We had so much to tell each other as we hadn't met in the last 10 days or so. I had to tell her in short about my depressive phase. She had to tell me about her crush and the latest encounter with the hot man. Nothing good happened in the meeting. Whatever 'crushings' she had on him disappeared due to his cold behavior.

She also told me about the rampant rumors about a relationship between us. I couldn't believe it! That is in the good way. Not for her though. Such rumors would ruin her chances. Even though I didn't even think about that fact at first, when she told me about this, I felt sorry for her.

In the afternoon, I went to Xanders and we recorded songs again. Again we sounded really good. The bass was sounding just out of this world from the small sideroom where the bass cube was kept. I feel that the apartment is just perfect because of this basic fact - the recordings sound amazing. Even through the hopeless microphone of my mp3 player.

We covered the Interstate Love Song. We recorded a new song which we are making. Yes, we wrote a song after about 3 months. This feels so good..

Something to smile at

After the depressing post last time around, it's definitely time for something refreshing. I had a great night out yesterday. Even though the never ending work at the hospital delayed our jam session at the apartment till 12 midnight, it was fun! We played 'Talk Shows on Mute' like a charm the first time we jammed it. We feel that are gelling like a band.

At around 3 AM we had stale Mallu food just like every jam session recently. It still tasted wonderful.

Stupid picture 1

How can the Government be so right in describing something about itself? I appreciate the amazing self assessment of the Government about one of its department. Mind boggling. Really.

The sexy sounding apartment

A bad day has elapsed. I got firing again from everyone for turning up late for the round. In the night as I type this, I'm listening to the recordings from our last jam sessions. They sound so good that I'm so happy about our choice for the apartment. I'm attaching a snap to this so that you can get the hang of my apartment

Fired by the boss

Today, I got firing from my boss for not taking photos of his surgery. The reason why I didn't take photos was because I was not getting the space for focussing the camera on the operating field. Besides, the camera was out of space on the memory card and the battery was running low. All this made me go to the side room which was cooler than the operating theatre. I was also talking to a servant at that time.

Anyways, I got myself fired. And screwed really. Partly my fault. Partly the situation. Otherwise, things went well for the day.