Engayging Life: December 2004

The disaster

I'm finally back after taking a couple of weeks' break from blogging and other similar essential activities of dailiy living. I'd love to bray about how these past fortnight has been so exciting, so promising etc. But it is not the time to celebrate, is it?

The Tsunami which hit the whole of SE asia has also affected the place that I live. Fortunately enough, I and my family are unaffected by its devastation. But every form of media is airing sad pictures and sorry stories of the victims.

As a medical professional, I've offered my services. I'm hoping that I'll get called to help someone out.

Final trip

Sorry for this. I've tons of ideas to write upon. But no time.
I've come back from the first metro city. I didn't have much luck with
the prices of the stuff there. Now, on the eve of my final journey to
my last destination (which could also be described as the first
journey to my final destination; I'll help you figure out how later),
I'm full of feelings that I've never encountered.

I hope you put everything back in place after I come back. That is
in about a week. Till then, I hope you guys would wish me luck with my
purchases.

Stamp of authority

When I had gone to attend Chuck's engagement, my friend A. had handed me a piece of paper which his dad would later collect from me in my home town. In the two weeks since then, I had forgotten all about it.

Before we go further, let me introduce A.'s father - I'll refer to him as Dr. S. He is a very talkative, hot-looking older man who is very confident. He is sarcastic and sometimes even mildly arrogant. But that works fine for me. I love older men who establish a stamp of authority on everyone else.

Yesterday night, when I lay slumped on the couch watching 'Will & Grace', the phone rang. As is the routine in my house (I hate answering phones. My parents take the phone up when it rings.) my Dad answered it and announced that it was for me. I took the phone up and was surprised to hear this.

"Kris, this is Dr. S. I guess A. gave you that paper. I need to have it. When do you usually get up in the morning? I guess you will be really late!"

"Well, umm... I have to go to the hospital in the morning. So I get up by 7 AM at least."

"Will you get the paper and wait for me at the main road at 7.45 AM? I pass your location between 7.45 and 7.50 AM everyday. I might have forgotten the exact way to your place and I don't have time to come down your lane and search. Can you make it?

"Of course. Yes. So tomorrow 7.45 AM. Good night."

"Yeah, good night."

Today morning I was late in getting up. I rushed through my daily routines and was about to tuck my shirt up in my pants when I heard someone honking. It didn't take too long to figure out that it was none other than Dr. S. It was only 7.44 AM on my watch. I went down with that paper.

As I got out through the front door I could see Dr. S, not even bothering to get out of the car, waiting for me with a smirk on his face.

"I knew it. Can't rely on someone who is A.'s friend."

"But it's not even 7.45 AM. I was about to start." and then I hand over the paper.

"Nevermind. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay. Been busy at the hospital."

"Still wasting your parents' hard earned-money I guess." He looked at his watch and added "I need to go to the hospital. Good bye."

"Bye." I watch him drive away.

This is the usual way he treats me. And I loooooooove it. How I wish he had asked me to serve him inside the car right in front of my place!

Shopping with my sister

The last two days, I spent a lot of time shopping with my sister. Even though we didn't end up buying a lot of stuff, we had plenty of time to talk. Yet, I didn't even feel like I should tell her about my sexual orientation. I know that she knows that I'm at least a bi. But I want to tell her that I'm totally gay and that I'm comfortable with that.

While shopping for clothes in a big shop in town, I realized how obsessed I'm with older men.

I saw an old Physics Professor of mine from college. He is a cute 60s-around guy with a great moustache. In my two years in pre-grad college, he was around for only 6 months and took only a couple of lectures for my class. During one of those lectures, he ordered me out of class for laughing at a joke by one of my friends.

Yet, I remembered his full name. Despite the fact that I didn't get to see him front-on, I recognized him instantly. I wanted to talk with him. But I couldn't. I felt bad about missing out on opportunities.

About five minutes later, I ran into an old classmate of mine from college. He is young and okay looking. He was a good friend of mine for the two years we were in pre-grad college.

Yet, I don't even recollect his first name. I spent a few uncomfortable moments talking with him. All I got to know was that he worked in a decent institution now. Then there was this uneasy 'I'm a little busy. Bye for now.'

I must be a slut; one that specializes in older men.

Sleep and more sleep

I have been posting too much about my sleep problems. These days, I can't even get up in time to reach hospital in time for morning classes. I'm not finding time to even read newspapers. Forget reading books, guitaring etc. I'm a lame arse!

More cricket

Our local cable operator has disappointed us sports fans yet again. Since the turn of this month, ESPN-Star Sports has been taken out from the bouquet. The newspaper reports allege the company's debts to the sports channels as the cause. Of course, the operator has its version of the story.

Whatever be, we are deprived of quality sports action. And when I say quality sports action, I mean something like an Australia Vs. New Zealand ODI series Down Under. The first match was reviewed as ODI cricket at its best. The second one didn't fall short of expectations either. And I can't see even a bit of it! Shame, pity shame.

At the same time, I'm getting to play more cricket in our college ground in the evenings. The sessions, whose attendances are decreasing by the day, are physically demanding. And I suddenly seem to have lost my batting touch.

I always have this problem when I re-start playing cricket. The first day is always better than the next couple of weeks after which things start to improve again.

Chuck's day out

I'm not allowed to write anything about the topic that I'm going to write on. Therefore, please bear with me if this post is less than entertaining.

Chuck visited his fiance over the weekend. This is just about a week after his engagement. Everyone including his family was a bit surprised. I think I might have something to do with this sudden rush of blood.

What happened there was a near-perfect whole-day date. Why I would label it as near-perfect is because I thought that Chuck had handled the situation (and much more) very well. He did what he was supposed to and he went over the boundaries, but only as much as things should be to still remain within allowable extents.

I know that the previous sentence is pretty f**ked up but I couldn't come up with something better.

He told me everything in detail today. I was glad that I'm the only person to whom he is planning to tell the details.

Bored at the beach

Today, I had to spend the whole day with my sister, her husband and
my cousins. Even though it was better that what I had hoped, I felt
bored without the company of my friends from college. We went to the
beach and then to my cousin's place and had dinner. The last time I
was in the beach, Ray was with me and we were 'older-adam-teasing' our
way to glory.

Why I don't like such meetings is that in conversations, a question
such as 'Why don't you get married?' or 'Do you/Have you had any
girlfriends?' is pushed across to me. I'm left to wondering what sort
of answer I should give for this.

Well, apart from that I spent a lot of time practicing and playing
guitar/bass. I listened to a few of my recordings and I felt that I
should be doing much more than just learning new songs - I should be
writing songs!

Kareena Kapoor's ass

Today, on the day when my sister came back home after a few months, I went for a not-so-good Hindi move (Hulchul) with Ray. There are a couple of strong messages for me here.

One is the fact (which is becoming very obvious to me as the days pass by) that I enjoy myself thoroughly with only those who understand my gay identity. The second fact, which is more disconcerting is the fact that I'm becoming more detached with my sister. Even to think about not being close to my sister was beyond imagination about 2 years back. Time does fly, doesn't it?

At the movie, I was again surprised by Ray's experiences cruising at the movies yesterday. This time he got much further with a man he has been meeting at the movies (while crusing of course).

On this, I must confess that Ray's treasure-trove of stories and experiences in this field seem limitless. On almost all of the days we meet, he has something new to tell me in this field. For example, apart from the details of his exploits on the previous day, he told me that the guy who sat at the ticket counter was interested in cruising sex! As a matter of fact, he has had 2 experience with this guy in the past five years.

The movie itself was not very good. But the most striking aspect of the movie was the amount of fat that Kareena Kapoor carries around in her body. I cannot recollect any other heroine other than Kajol who was fatter than Kareena. Even though I'm gay, I enjoy the looks of women who are trim and fit. I hate women with excess body fat. Kareena was so fat that I had to look away from the screen on more than one occasion.

There was even a scene when the whole big screen was filled with Kareena's ass. That was a strange shot where the camera was positioned between the legs of Kareena as she started to walk away from the camera.

I can tell you that Ray, who is bi, enjoyed this a lot. He likes women on the plumpier side. And amongst plump women, he prefers older ones!

How to kill yourself like a man

You know, you gotta love Maddox and his awesome page - The Best Page in the Universe - for sure. Check out his latest post about 'How to kill yourself like a man' here.

Out of the various methods, I think eating a tubfull of beans deserves to be the coolest way to do it!

'Shark Tale'

Go here and have (a) a nice laugh if you are straight (b) a nice laugh followed by an hour of refelcting on the society's prejudice towards queers!

B - V Kisses

Unlike how I usually post, I'm posting the contents of a few of my e-mails today. I'll comment on relevant items along the way.

Butterfly Kiss - With your faces less than a breath away, open and close your eyelids against your partners. If done correctly, the fluttering sensation will match the one in your heart.
Cheek Kiss - A friendly, "I really like you" kiss. Often the preferred kissing method of a first date. With your hands on your partner's shoulders, gently brush your lips across her cheek.
Earlobe Kiss - Gently sip and suck the earlobe. Avoid louder sucking noises as ears are sensitized noise detectors.
Eskimo Kiss - With your faces less than a breath apart, gently rub your noses together.
This one's worth trying!
Eye Kiss - Hold your partner's head with both hands and slowly move their head in the direction you wish your kiss to go... then slowly kiss up towards your partner's eyes and give them a tender kiss on top of their closed eyes.
Eyelid Kiss - While your partner is resting/sleeping with eyes closed, very very gently kiss the spot right below their browbone. A very intimate kiss.
Finger Kiss - While laying together gently suck on their fingers. This can be very seductive and pleasurable.
Sucking on any appendage which is not a clit is worth trying!
Foot Kiss - An erotic and romantic gesture. It may tickle, but relax and enjoy it! To give a toe kiss by gently suck the toes and then lightly kissing the foot. It helps to gently massage the base of the foot while performing the kiss.
Refer to above.
Forehead Kiss - The "motherly" kiss or "just friends" kiss. The forehead kiss can be a comforting kiss to anyone. Simply brush your lips lightly across the crown of their head.
Freeze Kiss (or Melt Kiss) - Experiment with this fun kiss. Put a small piece of ice in your mouth, then open mouth and kiss your partner, passing them the ice with your tongue. It's an erotic and sensual french kiss with a twist of cold.
I've some sort of weakness with kissing involving transfer of liquids.
French Kiss - The kiss involving the tongue. Some call this the "Soul Kiss" because the life and soul are thought to pass through the mouth's breath in the exchange across tongues. Surprisingly, the French call this "The English Kiss".
Fruity Kiss - Take a small piece of fruit and place between your lips (juicy fruits such as grapes, strawberries, small pieces of pineapple or mango are ideal). Kiss your partner and nibble one half of the piece of fruit while they nibble the other until it breaks in half, allowing the juice to run into your mouths.
Bet you have seen a lot of this in straight sex scenes. I have never imagined it in a gay perspective. I presume it will definitely be better.
Hand Kiss - Gently raise her hand to your lips. Lightly brush your lips across the top of her hand. Historically this kiss was performed with a bow, which showed deference to a lady.
Hickey Kiss - The object is not to draw blood, but to gently leave a mark that will prove your interlude was not a dream. This is often included in erotic foreplay.
Growl!
Hostage Kiss - Cover your lips with tape and get your love's attention. When they come near, make noises like you're trying to tell them something and motion as if you can't get the tape off. Once they remove the tape from you to hear what you're trying to say tell them: "I've been saving my lips all day just for you!" Then kiss your love passionately!
You've gotta be kidding!
Hot and Cold Kiss - Lick your partner's lips so that they're warm, and then gently blow on them. The sudden cold blast makes for a sensual explosion, and they will often try it on you next, as well as get very passionate.
Strange. But worth a try.
Mistletoe Kiss - Surprise your lover by capturing them with a gentle holiday kiss under the mistletoe. This is also a good method for shyer individuals to steal a kiss from a potential lover.
Letter Kiss - Send your lover a kiss in a love letter by writing the letter x several times in a row at the bottom of a letter such as XXXXX.
Lick Kiss - Just before kissing, gently run your tongue along you partners lip whether it be the top or bottom one depending on the position of your lips. Very sensual.
Slurp!
Lip Sucking Kiss - When kissing gently suck on their lower lip. This can be very exciting.
Neck Nibble Kiss - Gently nibble up and down your partners neck. End with a gentle kiss on the lips.
Growl! Mr. Lion did this to me and it felt wonderful!
Nip Kiss - This kiss can create a very erotic sensation. While kissing your partner, ever so gently nibble on their lips. You must be very careful not to bite to hard or hurt your partner. When done correctly, this kiss ignites wonderful sensations.
Worth a trial!
Reverse Lips Kiss - It involves standing above your lover and kissing them from over their head. This way, each kisser can take the hyper-sensitive bottom lip of thier lover in their mouths, and GENTLY draw blood to the surface of the lip by nibbling and sucking. A very sensuous, connecting kiss.
One of the things that I would love to do!
Searching The Cavern - Use the lips and tongue to gently tickle and kiss your lover's navel. Vary speeds and stroke to change sensation. Invigorating and intoxicating.
Shoulder Kiss - Simply come from behind, embrace her, and kiss the top of her shoulder. This is a sensual, loving kiss.
Sip Kiss - Take a small sip of your favorite drink. Leaving a little bit of it on your lips, kiss your partner. It is a unique way to create a sensual feeling and your partner will enjoy it.
I'd love to exchange wine like this!
Talking Kiss - Whisper sweet nothings into your partner's mouth. If caught in the act, simply say as Chico Marx, "I wasn't kissing her. I was whispering into her mouth."
Teaser Kiss - Starting on the forehead, a sweet short kiss on lips, then move up the arms up to her hand, kiss her hand, then come back up her arm, to her face and then lightly kiss her lips till she wants a passionate kiss.
The Buzzing Kiss - Gently place your lips against your lover's neck , behind their ear. Now, send a shudder through their skin by gently growling and humming, vibrating your lips and cheeks as you do so. Move up and down the neck, over the bones of the face and lips. Stimulating and erotic when done correctly.
The Whipped Cream Kiss - Dip your finger into some cool whip or whipped cream of your choice. Lick it off slowly, then embrace your partner and kiss them deeply letting their tongue slip over yours for a wonderfully sweet kiss. It's very seductive and passionate.
Tiger Kiss - Quietly sneak up behind your partner making sure they do not know what you are going to do. Out of the blue, grab them and gently bite their neck. Make sure to get a few good growls in too. This will surely surprise them.
Personally, this has got to be the most exciting! Woof, woof!
Trickle Kiss - Take a sip of a favourite drink and trickle it slowly into partner's mouth while kissing.
Tongue Sucking - A variation of the French kiss. During an open-mouth kiss gently suck on your partner's tongue (not too hard because it may hurt). Very sexy :-)
Quickie Kiss - When you're in a rush. Often the nose gets it rather than the lips.
Vacuum Kiss - While kissing open-mouthed, slightly suck in as if you were sucking the air from your partners mouth. This is a playful kiss.
Wake Up Kiss - Before your partner awakes lean over and kiss their cheek and move over giving soft kisses until you reach their lips. Definitely a more than pleasant way to wake up!
Virtual Kiss - For Internet lovers. Send an e-card or a kiss via email with this symbol: :-*

Cool words

Check out a few new words that I came across online!

AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.
CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of confection (lolly) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.
ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.
PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.
PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

Out of these, a few words are extremely relevant in my life. I have momentary bouts of phonesia and I'm always frustrated by frust. I hate to admit but I really believe in disconfecting.

3 topics

The last two days, I'm doing less and sleeping like a pig. I can assure you that it has nothing to do with the tiredness levels. There is something inherently wrong in my system. And because of that, I had to miss two consecutive morning classes at the hospital.

I've been practicing guitars and scales whenever I get time. I've been trying modes in creating riffs actually to great effect. This mode thing is really cool as I made an interesting bass line yesterday just by playign three different modes of the same scale!

Chuck is going to spend a whole day this Sundary with his fiance. I would have to cover for him on that Saturday. I think that Chuck is really acting bold enough to try and bond with his fiance.

At last...

I've great news! Xander was finally able to squeeze time out from work to check out guitars. And those are definitely cheaper and with more features. Therefore, I've decided to buy my guitar from my future destination.

But before that, I would have to travel to another metropolitan. I would actually be accompanying my sister who is going to come home tomorrow.

I am still unsure if I should come out totally to my sister. But I have the gut feeling that if it is not now, it might be too late as I'll probably be not seeing her again before I start residency. And if I start residency, I won't be seeing daylight for a year or so!

Playing cricket

I played cricket after 5 months. It was a pleasant experience
despite the fact that I was unable to bat or bowl to my potential. But
I fielded well.

Engayging Life