- You have to make excuses like 'I eat healthy!' and 'I despise junk food!' when your colleagues are ordering from McDonald's
- You have to ask 'What's the cheapest thing on the menu?' regularly
- Your daily budget for food is so low that you have to skip meals to adhere to it
- Your refrigerator promotes the growth of fungi food items
- You avoid rickshaws even if you could save an hour in travel
- You walk four kilometers at 12 midnight after a long day just to save 6 rupees
- You plan to meet people during evenings on weekdays and every evening you ring people up to cancel plans
- You haven't watched Slumdog Millionaire 2 months after its release
- You have 3 days of unread newspapers in your backpack
"An honest confessional, with a sprinkle of humor and opinion, of an academician/musician seeking happiness" Find me now on https://enagyginglife.wordpress.com
You know your life sucks when...
You know your life sucks when...
- You need to buy a couple of mugs, a pen stand and a small pillow cushion for use at work place
- You pick up lovely stuff at Landmark, only to put them back on the racks in front of the salesman because of their price
- You have to explain to the salesman 'I'm not carrying cash, you see.'
- You wander off to the perfume section and find the same perfume that you had so fondly sent to the love of your life, which never got to him
- You ask for its price and walk away without making eye contact with the lady at the counter
- You go down to Archie's gallery, to find even better, but still unaffordable mugs
- You end up pushing and shoving inside the smelly Big Bazaar to buy your stuff for under 300 Rs.
You know your life sucks when...
- You start planning to shop for new clothes after a couple of years
- You keep Rs. 1000 for buying three pairs of jeans, a couple of shirts and new underwear making up your mind to do the shopping the coming weekend
- Then you realize that you don't have money to pay your monthly bills and wonder whom to borrow money from
- You take your torn jeans to the local tailor who sews them up making them short and ugly
- You proudly wear these jeans at work only to realize that even the roadside vendors have better jeans than yours
In the last few days
- I got busier and busier at work. I enjoyed almost all the 'work' that I did excepting the fact that I had to work on more than a single document because of the 'reviewing' process that my documents need to go through.
- I understood that I thoroughly dislike being close to deadlines.
- I read up a lot about astronomy and the solar system.
- Because of my nature to try and finish as much of work that I can, and because I want to reach back and do as many things as I can, I end up NOT taking little breaks at work. This usually makes my brain exhausted, and thereby, my efforts rather unproductive.
- I postponed essential stuff because of work and poverty.
- I understood that the my dreams are so far away that they are unacheivable.
- I realized that my life is in a total mess.
- I missed being in touch with my friends because of busy schedule. I can't forgive myself for that.
- I realized that I'm going to be poor for a long, long time.
- I realized that I tend to worry a lot more as compared to people of my age.
Working is fun
At the office though, it was fun working on an actual assignment. It was the first time that I had ever been given one! It really felt nice working on a scientific document rather than an exercise. I was intimidated by the set of guidelines that I was supposed to follow. It was almost as if the instructions were towering over me with phrases like 'do not forget' hovering like monsters.
But it was fun! I did not feel the hours fly past. I sat almost five hours at a stretch without even taking a break to go to the toilet. At the end of it all, I felt like I was over-editing the document. I guess I will learn from my mistakes. But I hope I don't make a lot of them.
It's easier this way
Well, at least until we learned some grammar theory from the internet and refreshed the concepts of the obliquity of the ecliptic, equinoxes, solstices, precession of the equinoxes etc. Astronomy is kick-ass and it felt really good to be doing things that I last did in College as a teenager.
Today morning, on my way to work, on the bus that I ride to reach work, I feel more relaxed to talk about the big issues that float in capitals in my vitreous. At least I don't feel wrong about doing something unethical. And unlike my PC at home, the phone doesn't crash!
So the big questions are - What do I do? Borrow? More?
The intimidating list
I managed to re-install windows on another partition and fix the internet and basic hardware issues yesterday night. But I slept at 3.30 am. I have the daunting task of fixing up the rest of the hardware now. Once done, I could hope to carry on for another month at most before another crash.
With the new job and frequent rehearsal and gigs, it's going to be impossible to start doing away with my to-do/to-fix lists!
Fuck!
Misery
It seems that my life needed to give me a reality check to balance it first and then to counter-balance so that I feel bad. A year of poverty, despair and aimless wandering is not letting me forget its bitterness. I spent the entire afternoon and evening shuttling between traffic police chowkies, municipal garages and police stations trying to find my scooter. But it’s still missing. Nobody knows why it was taken.
The careless security guard at the apartment building says that it was my mistake not to remind him and the rest of the security guards that the scooter was mine. They said that people in the apartment building have been wondering whose vehicle it was because it was in such a shabby condition. Since no one had taken any responsibility for the vehicle, they had presumed that it was junk and had let the towing guys take it away.
I agree that I have not used it for the last 6 months or so. I didn’t have money to buy fuel. I didn’t have money to eat, remember! How could I waste money on expensive petrol? Because I was not using it, it grew dirty and obviously I didn’t bother to clean it and make it look owned. Fuck! I was planning to save some money up from a couple of months at work and then spend it on the scooter to get it back up and running.
I feel bad. I feel bad for letting this happen, for letting my life drift away, for letting poverty in, for being optimistic and ambitious to let myself do what I did.
This is fun
People associate work with anything but fun. I know that it is too early in my work-life to start arguing against this fact. But I am enjoying my life even more these days. It just seems like my life got structured. I have a routine to follow and I have a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day having finished a certain set of tasks that I am assigned to.
I have not started ‘working’ working at my job yet. The five days so far have been full of lessons and exercises in English grammar and literary styles of academic publishing with the occasional lesson about how to increase the efficacy of your work in Microsoft Word. There has been an instance of a colleague giving me a scare stating ‘I hope you you have ‘fun’ even when you are doing ‘real’ work!’. But that’s not the point really. I’m talking about my life. Life has become more fun after work has started.
I get up everyday at around 8 am and listen to one of the news channels while sipping coffee. If my newspaper gets delivered - the delivery of newspapers in my building is anything but reliable - I get to read a bit of the Times of India as well. After a shower, I dress up and go have breakfast at the roadside dosa-shack. The bus ride to the office is the time for me to start reading some Wiki article about a subject (Greek mythology, for example) that is interesting or relevant to what I and Vinokur had discussed the night before. By 10 am, I enter my office smelling nice and fresh and start my duties for the day.
Work starts with lessons, which are boring, and exercises, which are interesting. Whenever there are long lessons, I take a mini-break bychecking my e-mail or reading up an article in the New York Times or magazines like Nature, New Scientist etc. Such mini-breaks take just 2 minutes at a time and really help me feel a little fresher to tackle another block of material. I usually refrain from interacting with my colleagues when I want a break. Most often, they are busy with whatever they are doing. But I prefer things that are solely under my control. Reading an article in the NYT can be started and ended whenever I want. Talking to a colleague cannot be, as it needs the agreement and co-operation of the other person.
Soon it is lunch time and I have my delicious meal at a vegetarian restaurant in the same building. That’s my big break. I come back in about half an hour refreshed and spend more time with grammar. Around 4 pm, I get a little bored and I need my coffee for rejuvenation. More work afterward and voila, it’s seven! Time to leave from work. On my way back, I usually follow up with more stuff from the Wiki article. Once I reach back home, I enter a clean home with freshly prepared food at the kitchen counter – thanks to my new maid. After my shower, I start finishing up my e-mail and FaceBook stuff and start a night’s discussion with Vinokur about something of common interest.
The result - a feeling of satisfaction at the end of the day. Maybe, I should have started working two months ago!
Coffee and the office
One of my expectations at the new workplace was the availability of good quality, machine-vended coffee. I don’t know why I thought that a good vending machine would be waiting to be serviced by me everyday. My first experience was at Xander’s office which is a part of the establishment which held the biggest newspaper in Mumbai and shared a common building with the offices of a very popular radio station in Mumbai. Coincidentally, I have had coffee at two other offices, both belonging to other radio stations. The coffee was consistently excellent everywhere and I was expecting the same.
My current workplace doesn’t have a vending machine. In the sub-office that I work from, there is the option of making your own coffee with the elements – boiling water (from an electric kettle), milk powder, sugar and coffee powder. Being the coffee-nossieur that I am, I was skeptical. Hesitantly, I made my first cup of improvisational coffee yesterday. It wasn’t as bad as I had expected. I made two more today and both of them were just as good. Or bad. I really wish I knew how to make the best possible coffee out of the resources that I have. If someone knows I would appreciate a helping hand.
Vinokur advises me to first pour a small amount of water in the cup at first. Then, you are supposed to add all the ‘powdery’ ingredients and make a paste. Finally you add the rest of the water. But I need to make something like a cappuccino. I mean I need the froth on top. You could even sprinkle some coffee powder on top to make it even more attractive. Please comment.
The Update List v 2.0
- Mar 11th - 'Holi'day relapse
- Mar 10th - Scooter's gone
- Mar 9th - First day at work
- Mar 8th - A new job, a new beginning
- Mar 7th - 'Straight' out of nowhere
- ...
- ...
- Mar 1st - Aarohi '09 Experience
- ...
- ...
- Feb 25th - Daddy's WindSong Wednesdays gig
- Feb 23rd - Radio One interview/performance
- ...
- ...
- Feb 7th - Procrastination
- Feb 6th - The postponement of the job
- Feb 5th - Mobile Internet craze
- Feb 4th - Daddy's WindSong Wednesday's experience
- Feb 3rd - Gora for a dinner-movie combo
- Feb 2nd - The shoe-lace incident
- Feb 1st - A gig with the new band
- Jan 31st - Let's analyze my future
- Jan 30th - 'Anjor-Kaaya' - the musical
- Jan 29th - Airport date
- Jan 28th - Social Outcasts?
- Jan 27th - Yet another band?
- Jan 26th - Something Relevant
- Jan 25th - The certificate saga
- Jan 24th - A tryst with art in Mumbai - Part 2
- Jan 23rd - A tryst with art in Mumbai - Part 1
- Jan 22nd - Not Just Bad, By the Way!
- Jan 21st - Random Updates: 21st of Jan
- Jan 20th - The terrorist inside me
- Jan 19th - The Great Indian Train Journey
- Jan 19th - The Date at the Railway Station
- Jan 18th - The Erstwhile-rs : College mates, friends and the rest
- Jan 17th - The Erstwhile-rs : Cousins
- Jan 16th - Coming out to my Father
- Jan 15th - Coming out to my Mom
So I have been acting crazy and not updating the blog. To my faithful readers, I apologize for my abstinence. Other people have said sarcastically 'Finally, it's nice that you shut up. I was getting tired of Engayging bull shit!' to stuff like 'Did you grow a brain or something and get back to studying?'
The answers to those comments are this - It's MAH blog and I'd blog as much as I wish to whenever I possibly can. Just that I have been so friggin' busy. Check out the updates to find out why. Oh and my studying is over and done with - I got my Masters!
About a month back, Kris had typed
The last time I had not blogged after a life-changing event, I decided to muster up all my courage and try to re-create the pain and suffering in words. I started out pretty well, but I stumbled and fell hard on my face. Hence the jagged teeth and the weird face. Here I am facing the similar situation. The point is that it is not same.
My life has been beautiful but exhausting in the last few days. And despite feelling like an adolsecent chimpanzee checking his thoracic cavities resonance, Momma time (did I confuse the gender again?) has been unkind to me.
Since I have been blessed with rebelliousness since childhood, especially with parents, I have now taken the first steps to putting a few strokes of colour on the portait of my life. In the coming days, you will see updates springing up like blossoms in the spring, like stars in the dusk and like notifications and 'pokes' on your Facebook profiles.
I will add them all under this post as links. Looking forward to insightful comments and suggestions and more to calm the bellowing chimpanzee inside me.
Yours,
Kris Bass, M. D.
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