When Vinokur came to visit me in India, we already had blue-prints for plans to live with each other for the rest of our lives in Mumbai. Despite his obvious health problems, which we hoped would get better, we decided to invest in a few things - a new desk for his computer, a new monitor, a printer etc.
Sadly, things didn’t pan out the way they should have and I found myself with such accessories after he left for NYC. Out of these, I could immediately use the monitor (we had bought a fantastic, big LCD one) and the desk for my personal use. Somehow, the printer was still kept in the box. It’s still in the box. I dare not take it out.
The reason for my hesitation is multifold. First of all, I am hopeful that sooner than later my living conditions will improve to a standard when I won’t need to worry about dust accumulating everywhere. Lame excuse, I know. But even more intimidating is the prospect of it not working properly and I needing to invest some money to make the necessary changes for it to work.
I know it would be wonderful to have a working printer on my computer. I could make printouts of lyrics and other things as and when I want to. But how can I knowingly add another variable to my life which is already struggling to balance itself on the loosest of tightropes?
Similarly, another problem lay packed in a box - my brand new, big, bass amplifier. The reason for its hibernation is weirder. It was originally intended to be our practice-place amplifier when we had the dream of having a decent jamming pad arranged by our record label. That, obviously, didn’t work out. Instead we are practicing at E-boi’s apartment these days.
That, my friends, is something close to the present day Afghanistan. It’s a fucking mess. It’s a disaster waiting to happen. There are electrical shortcircuits, leaks from the overhead tank, flooding of the apartment due to faucets left open, and the possibility of pan-spit/food/beverage soakage at any given time. I can’t possibly keep my new amp there and hope to have a good night’s sleep.
But what’s keeping me from using it at my apartment? I don’t want to let it get dusty and dirty. I want to be able to be in a position where I could guarantee that I can take care of it properly. And, until then, such things will be kept in their boxes. At least I feel more comfortable that way.