Chuck's Dad day 1

Doing errands for Chuck is works out fine because I get to see his Dad sometimes. Today, I had to go to his place and I know that his Dad is alone. I had a slab of the world famous ‘Aluva’ for him which I had bought while I came back from the conference. I called him up and went. I had to take a lot of certificates, photographs etc from there.

Since he had to meet someone urgently, he left me at the house. I tried to engage in light chat with him. And it worked. We worked out a good conversation. I enjoyed it at least.

Back in the hospital

I’m back as ‘nobody’ in the hospital. The question which used to hear about thrice every day - ‘Aren’t you going to start your course?’ is getting more frequent.

But still, I’m enjoying my stint. I hope to make something out of the last two months as well.

Favors for Chuck

Chuck is now enjoying his honeymoon up in the Himalayas. This ain’t the best time for visiting the mountain range. It is coldwave time there. Very cold, avalanches and unexpected snowfalls.

He had called me to do a few favors after I came back from the conference. One of them involved submitting an application form for an exam. He had asked me despite the fact that there were other persons writing the exam who were free to do this. When I told Ray about this, Ray says that Chuck trusts me more than anyone else.

If that is the case, I’m not doomed.

Last day

On the third day as well, I was depressed. I think everyone felt that I was acting different. But whenever someone asked me, I denied that fact. Similarly all similar insults hurt me more. Those included gay bashing as well. The only respite came from the fact that I was able to see up-close THE hottest politician in my state today. He was on the train back home. Boy he is sooooo hot! This is an old photograph of his. He is so much hotter now.

2nd day - worse

It is being an alcoholic which is problematic. Not being an alcoholic should shield you from problems. But it isn’t. Look at me. I’m discriminated against because of this. This continued today as well. Because of yesterday’s incident, I decided that whatever is going to happen is not going to change if I have beer which is something that I don’t like. Therefore I didn’t even have beer.

Instead, I tried to enjoy a rock show held by a local band. Their bassist was awesome. I was very impressed by some of the covers they did. But my colleagues, those drunkards, insulted the band and western music continuously. And in that process insulted me as well. So much so, the band had to cancel the show midway.

Thankfully, the organizers had planned a ‘chendamelam’ which was huge success. Even though I enjoyed it as well, the evening was spoilt because of the short-sighted, discriminative, biased attitude of my drunkard colleagues.

I hate this. Why should they destroy my life? I realize that this is going to be a big problem in my later life.

First day - horror show

The first day of the conference started great. First of all, I got to hang out with a relatively mature colleague of mine. He is a wonderful character – reserved with a quirky sense of humor and is charming too. The rest of the gang, other than me and this ‘relatively mature colleague of mine’ (RMCoM – what a weird acronym), were more interested in the fun than the academics. It was the first experience for me in a big conference. Therefore, I wanted to attend the academics fully.

The food was shabby. But the talks were awesome. I was impressed with most of the stuff that I hearing. The fact that it was inspiring was a pleasant realization. One disappointing fact was that the papers were being presented from almost all the colleges san ours. I felt glad about my choice to continue my studies elsewhere.

I got to bond a little with my Prof as well. But he was acting introvertish.

In the night, I gave company to RMCoM by drinking beer with him. The rest of the gang got drunk with various other forms of alcohol. There was this karaoke show going on and all of my colleagues (except me and RMCoM of course) from our college and our college only, started dancing like pigs on the dance floor. I went and decided to join them as I thought they might feel bad if I stayed out. I even sang with an awesome singer on MJ’s ‘Heal the World’. Forgive me for the sin that I committed.

Then when I went to have dinner, I and RMCoM went up to my Prof and started talking with him. Professor told us that we looked different after drinking beer. Someone started to talk about the sex controversies in the media. I utilized the opportunity to make a point that such things were common everywhere, especially in the Gulf countries. Prof had worked for a few years there. I asked him if that wasn’t true. He tactfully avoided answering. Inference – he is very intelligent.

Then came the most disappointing aspect of the day. As I was finishing dessert, I went upto RCMoM who was talking with a drunk colleague of mine. I casually commented on the way food was smeared all over his face. Well, I actually said ‘You look like a clown.’

That was enough to set apart the bomb of hatred for me which was bundled in him. He abused me loud and clear. Then he threw Chicken Curry on my shirt. I somehow escaped and got myself cleaned. Later on in the night, I learned from this drunk himself of the reason why he got mad.

Very disappointing this is for me – He thought that I had a big ego, that I thought that I was the best and the other alcoholics were assholes. He thought that since I got high ranks in exams, and since he didn’t, I was acting superior to him. Similar blah blah.

Summary – everyone thinks that I’m an arrogant, superiority-complex-driven, asshole. Just because I don’t drink like them or enjoy stuff which they enjoy. Just because I was successful than they are in exams. Just because I dedicate myself at the hospital. This is pathetic. This will affect me in my residency starting in three months.

Thank you for adding to my already overflowing river of problems.

Ray in an accident

Today, I had a call from Chuck saying that my parents had asked him to contact Ray to tell him to check my hot uncle up once again because he was not feeling well. But he wasn’t able to contact Ray. I had called Ray up and asked him if he could go. He said he would.

In the evening, he called me back saying that everything was fine… except for the fact that he was involved in an accident on his way back from home. Nothing serious though. But it could have been much worse. Head on collision with another bike inside my lane. Anyway, everyone is safe.

The train trip

The trip on the train was great. I was in a happy mood thanks to the fact that my professor was on the same train. Besides, the company was good. I was cracking jokes and stuff like that.

Our professor spent some nice bonding time with us unlike other senior faculty who kept to themselves. There you see, I spot better men much better than others!

Hot Dad at home

Despite the lull in my life, I’m masturbating a lot. But now that guests are there, I might not get enough private time to indulge in a little game of pocket billiards. But hell what!

Today morning, I had a conversation with my hot uncle. Even though it was about his ill health (Cardiac problems, Diabetes etc.), I enjoyed it totally. He was looking awesome. Great smile, sexily trimmed moustache, wonderful accent in my the native language (unlike everyone in my family). Oh, I was so aroused, I wanted to do him right then.

Don’t misunderstand me. I’m still a bottom. I meant ‘giving head’ when I wrote ‘do’.

Then I had a brainstorm. Why not get Ray to check out (in both meanings – classic and slang) my uncle? I made Ray agree to the deal after about 10 minutes of coaxing over the phone. He came and gave him a consult. I felt that Ray was enjoying this well. This was ruined by the fact that my aunt and Mom interfered.

I'm going to a conference to the gayest place in my state today evening. I hope it will be fun, for a change.

Chuck's wedding reception

Today was Chuck’s marriage reception. He wanted me to come to his place early. But I couldn’t reach there sufficiently early because I had to attend another of my friend’s engagement in the morning. Even during that function, I generally felt hurt at small comments made by my friends. Must be due to my depression.

Anyway, I had managed to burn all the photos of Chuck’s wedding on to a CD before I went. That proved to be very useful as it was played as a slideshow on his TV set while about 50 guest were being entertained to a luncheon feast in the morning.

After that, I got ready in a hurry and reached the reception hall much earlier than anyone else. I managed to take snaps of the hall after all the decorations and stuff were complete. I also made sure that the instrumental CDs were playing well.

As soon as the reception began, I began to tirelessly take snaps of almost everyone greeting the bride and groom. I was overcompensating again. In the process, I got a lot of scathing comments from my friends. I tried to act cool and happy. But was not at all happy; the Nikon was giving bad snaps. All shaky and blurred. I was so disappointed with it, I feared that Chuck would ridicule me again.

I made sure that I was not in any snap other than a couple (out of about 1000 snaps taken during the evening). This is the way I try to keep a low profile. A very complex defense mechanism I guess. Chuck picked this up easily. It must have been that obvious; I didn’t feature in the snap of my parents with Chuck and his wife.

Later on in the evening he asked me if I was in any photo. I said I wasn’t in anyone except one. But I said that it was okay. He asked me why I didn’t turn up for the photo with my parents. I said ‘I didn’t want to do it. On purpose.’ That was true to an extent.

Chuck finally made me stand with his wife. Someone took a snap. I looked like shit. Dark, terrible and ugly. I guess I can attribute this to my hair which was unkempt. I guess I need to change my gel again. This one which I’m using is giving a desert dry look, exactly opposite of what it promises to achieve – ‘wet look’.

I was feeling tired and hungry. Yet, I didn’t feel like eating too much. I finally reached home

The only plus point in the evening was another encounter with the hot Dr. S who continued to exhibit the kind of power-authoritative-charm that attracts me so much. Even in the night, I got a chance to experience that at his home when I dropped his son, my batcmate and friend, home.

The ending of the day might be termed as happy I guess as I came home to realize that my uncle and aunt were home for a visit. This uncle is one of the hottest in my family.

Officially out of the hospital... but

On the last day of my official posting at the hospital, which was yesterday, I felt good about my work there. I think everyone was happy with me. Everyone was wishing me the very best of luck. In the evening yesterday, I felt that I was going to miss the hospital. Since the hospital was the place where I get most of morale boosts which I need so badly, I decided to keep on working again.

Today morning, I went back again. Everyone was a little surprised despite the fact that I had told them that I might drop in occasionally.

My posting in unofficial now and I don’t have obligations. That relieves me off of all the conflicts that I have by not putting in sufficient care for the patients. This means that I can concentrate more on the theory aspects. I have therefore, made a decision that I will read up something everyday and will try to put that to use in clinical experiences.