In the last three weeks or so, I have been interacting with a dozen or so men. It is incredible really to note that I have had sex with 4 different men in a period of a 10 days after being celibate for over 8 months. I will be labelled as being promiscuous but then, you have to still take a dip in the fall to find if you can catch something special.
There have been men of all kinds and ages actually - from 35 to 65 - remember again that I'm sexually attracted to older men - and some of them have been special. Broadly, they can be catergorized to those with whom you can think of a long-term relationship and those with whom you can't. The trick to find a person with whom you would be happy with both sexually and emotionally.
The best of them, sadly, has rejected to my offer for a relationship. I guess, he doesn't need to carry the entire baggage that I have around at his ripe age of 60. He was everything that I could have asked for - red hot in bed, caring, affectionate, kind, intelligent, funny, succesful - but couldn't offer me a live-in relationship and was closeted. He and I were practically in love until he realized that we couldn't really carry forward the relationship any further. It was traumatic - but again, this is life - the real life, that is.
Then, there is this wonderful artiste who would have been a great guy had he been 'free'. He is in a long-term, long-distance relationship and he and his partner have decided to stick to each other. Of course, that doesn't mean that they can't sleep with someone of their liking. He is a wonderful conversationalist and seems to be a good guy in bed too! We meet regularly with the occasional instance of sex - but it's a wonderful thing to talk to him about all kinds of topics.
The third one is this wonderful, kind person who is perfect relationship-material. But the fact is that I and he have not really had a great time together in bed. It is the same guy that I spent the New Year's Eve together with. He's charming and interesting and a very nice person to have as a companion. But sex too is important in a relationship and it hasn't clicked yet.
Today, I met up with this amazingly closeted married guy. We exchanged a few messages and eventually our phone numbers. We had decided to have a cup of coffee which eventually resulted in me inviting him over for sex in my apartment. The funny thing is that he was so scared about being robbed or harmed in anyway that I felt kindful to him. We had a wonderful act of love-making - animal type love making, without any affection whatsoever - and that was it.
This bring forth the question - is it too early to seek out a relationship? Shouldn't I, at my ripe young age of 29, look to experience as much of sex as possible? Of course, I will be on the look out for the Mr. Perfect to walk in to my life. Until then, I'd be just the carefree gay guy in the metropolis who just wants his share of the Samantha-character in Sex in the City.
(PS: I recently found out on a stupid Facebook questionnaire that the character that I most resemble is 'Carrie')
20 comments:
Hi, I just stumbled upon your blog, from a link on gaybombay. I'm in my late 20s and in a 2 year live-in relationship with someone in his 50s...... you have to look hard, but it's not impossible to find an older guy, who would want the same things you do. I hope this can keep up your optimism, and hopefully, you will find what you are looking for.
With best wishes and a Happy New Year
S
I like when you say at my ripe young age of 29. Is 30 (me!) also ripe young age ? LOL
On that lighter note, I would like to add that I understand the problem. It is not that easy to have a long term relationship with a guy especially for you (who likes older men) because most of those men are married and closeted and have trust issues.
I really hope that you will find somebody soon...But I always say : it is better to be single rather than badly accompanied and I prefer not to give advises.
You might try some of the specialist older men dating sites such as Silverdaddies.com. I review them all at www.graygay.com/links_dating.htm.
You just have to keep kissing the frogs!
Regards
Pewit
Editor, GrayGay.com - the place for mature gay men and their admirers.
@ S: Thanks for your message. I sure am hopeful about the prospects. As I say, I'm dipping in the pool to find out the reality.
@ Prash: Yes, 30 is young. And Prash, it's not better to be single again - especially if you are just getting out a wonderful relationship.
@ Pewit: Thanks for the message. I am a member of DaddyLover, SilverDaddies etc. I'd go through your site and hope to find more.
(I got my last relationship through SilverDaddies.com)
Happy new yr, Kris
Tx for stopping by..It was so good to hear frm u :)
there isnt much of a difference between Samantha and Carrie actually, they are both sluts, Carrie has slept with every single man that came her way irrespective of age or any other factor. I think Carrie is a bigger slut than Samantha. And if you slept with 4 men in 10 days, then you are to some extent a slut, thats just my personal opinion.
That Gujju guy wouldn't have earned my admiration, had he accepted your relationship offer after what happened between you and Vinokur. Just a thought. I know I probably shouldn't be commenting on your life coz I know I'm not the one living it.
By the way, I too got Carrie. Although I wanted to be Charlotte, I know I am not her. Guess what the result I got from Will & Grace quiz? Jack!! OMG! I'm so not him, definitely not Karen or Rosario, I could be Will... or Grace, although I don't think I'm self-centered and meany like her.
And you slept with 4 men in 10 days? Dude, that could be the number of guys I shagged with in a period of 2 years! :D
@ Swats: Always a pleasure, my dear!
@ Anonymous: I agree. It's also called promiscuity.
@ Crazy Sam: Well, the Gujju guy was scorching hot. So, a sexual relationship without emotions would have been fine, wouldn't it?
I'll take the Will & Grace quiz and see what comes up.
Yeah, I might sleep with more in the coming week too. I'll keep you posted. It's wonderful to be 'active' again! ;)
this is so carrie bradshawisque, only the city is not new york and this is about a gay man finding love
@ Tazeen: Perhaps, yes. I haven't really watched too much of Sex and the City TV series. All I have seen is the movie and I still can't figure out WHY I should be Carrie.
Well, it's cliched I know - the search to find love in a big city!
Great blog Kris. One point though. On the one hand it's no fun being celibate until Mr Right shows up, but on the other hand too many casual flings may make it difficult to eventually settle for one person, because you start to like the variety, or the excitement of pursuing someone new. I guess the trick is to know when you might be going overboard with the casual stuff and back off a bit. Good luck!
Dennis
@ Dennis: (First of all, you got be startled - one of my good friends is also called Dennis. He reads the blog frequently but has never commented. I had to sort of confirm that he hadn't started commenting by interrupting his research on some monkeys in a lab in the US using a silly Google chat conversation before typing this.)
I totally understand your point and I think that I have the amazing ability to back off. Quite incredible, when you consider my recent spree.
You are kind of carrie. She got emotional about most men she slept with. She kind of needed a father figure in her life quite like you and she was consistently in love with an unattainable guy. She tried to breakup with him, she tried to avoid him...she even tried being friends with him :)
you are not any of the other three women for sure...u r no slut or a cynic or a die-hard romantic kris
btw happy new year
@ The Free Spirit: I think I should watch 'Sex and the City' more extensively.
Compliments - not a slut, cynic or a die-hard romantic - Whoa!;)
:)
"There have been men of all kinds and ages actually - from 35 to 65 - remember again that I'm sexually attracted to older men..." shucks, im a prospect for next year eh...that is if im single of course ;)...
4 man in 10 days...gosh! thats a record ;)
Pepe: Well, it's like that for me. Since childhood. :)
4 man in 10 days and more. Now, it's actually the 5th one in 13 days.
And this one's fantastic!
Kriss,
I always admired you for what you are, but do not turn into yet another slut.
WW from canada
Nothing wrong in being a slut- it can be a lot of fun. And do what you want tot , don't let others define you.
@ WW from Canada: Thanks and I'll consider your advice! :)
@ @lankr1ta: Being a 'slut' IS fun! :) And I do what I want! :D
Post a Comment