Today, I realized something. Something so grave that I did not know how to react to it. Vinokur confided in me earlier in the evening that he can't fly back to Mumbai and stay with me. The whole plan of us living together clung to the idea of him staying with me in Mumbai until I had the dough and a job/course in the USA.
I love him very much. More than ever! I can't understand what to do?
I can't leave the band. If I leave the band I won't get this opportunity once again. The band is the only way that I can earn and save money without ditching something that I can't live without; Music. The only other thing that I can't live without is Vinokur!
During the whole evening, I was trying to figure out what to do. Do I stick to the band (and India) for another year until I can save up enough money to fly over? Do I quit the band and get a tourist VISA and fly to work there as a waiter at a restuarant and live my entire life as an illegal immigrant?
The only thing that I want is justice. I and Vinokur have not shared a single moment in our lives when we were 'normal'. Give me a break! I can't think straight about this problem.
Having pondered for so long, I have regretfully resigned to adopting the safe way out. I think I will try to earn as much money with the band as I can. And I'll try to go visit him as much as I can.
Does that seem like a reasonable settlement?
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